#ex-spouses

Alyssa was absolutely glowing. Her partner, some bum related to his ex-wife's brother's wife, was standing there looking pretty and acting like he'd done anything to deserve Alyssa. She was a lawyer and he was a waiter.

Then again, maybe Alyssa chose him to be a stay-at-home partner. That would certainly explain why they hadn't gotten married yet. There Alyssa was, holding a hand to her stomach and chatting with some colleagues.

"She really does take after you," Violet mused. Victor's head snapped around. "Relax, today's about Alyssa, not us. Want some cookies? The boy made them."

Victor sighed and slid across the bench. Violet sat down next to him and set a paper plate in between the two of them.

"So, you don't like him either," Victor commented. Violet laughed.

"That loser? You didn't hear it from me, but one of Blue's friends recently went on a rant about him while I was in the room." Violet lowered her voice to a whisper. "Supposedly, he blames his lack of a college degree on his disabled sister and parents. He doesn't contribute a dime toward household expenses and Alyssa gives him an allowance like some kind of middle schooler."

"Ugh. Why can't she date someone in her own field? She could do so much better," Victor complained. Violet nodded.

"I know this up-and-coming surgeon who's two years younger than Alyssa. She's going to finish school about a month before the baby's due. I personally don't know if Alyssa swings both ways, but if she does, the surgeon would be a much better pick."

Victor sighed. "I tried to get her to leave him for an accountant a few years back. Apparently there was a spark, so Alyssa cut him off out of loyalty. To him. If they get married, he'd better not take her name. He'll never be a Xiao."

"I also heard that Logan's mother has been pressuring Alyssa to take his name. Can you believe her? Why would she rather be Alyssa Olsen than Alyssa Xiao? Xiao is the name on her diploma. It's the name she's done so much work under and that bitch wants her to give it up to match her? Donna has three other children, one of them can pass the name on. Alyssa's a Xiao."

"I hope the baby is a Xiao. Alyssa has already agreed to let me teach the baby Mandarin," Victor noted.

"Really? Last I checked your Mandarin was pretty rusty," Violet joked. Victor chuckled.

"Well, that was before I spent a month in China on a business trip. I've been making a point to keep up with it more since I got back."

"Either way, bilinguality will be good for the baby. I wonder, do you think Alyssa plans to teach the baby to play an instrument?"

"No. Absolutely not. We can revisit the conversation when the baby is six," Victor retorted. Violet sighed.

"Fair enough. Babies can be quite annoying. That gold digger had better take care of our grandchild's every need and make sure that Alyssa doesn't have to life a finger more than she wants to, or I swear to god, I'll pay Theodore to forge evidence of him cheating on her."

Victor turned away from Violet. Theodore was the man she cheated on him with, a prostitute and her student at the time. At least Violet taught college kids - it would've been so much worse if she taught grade schoolers.

"He knows I pay well and he's getting older. I'm sure I could get into Logan's phone if need be..." Violet shook her head. "Of course, that's all hypothetical. Hopefully, he won't do anything that warrants our intervention."

Joe DiMaggio escorts ex-wife Marilyn Monroe to the premiere of her movie The Seven Year Itch, June 1, 1955.

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Conclusion

Dad: Do you think Meg's mom is going to be alright that it's just me?

Me: Yeah, why wouldn't she?

Dad: I don't know. I think she thinks I'm weird.

Me: Why?

Dad: Because every time I took you guys out to your mom's, she'd be like, "Oh, that's weird."

Me: Well, she doesn't have a good relationship with her ex. They don't talk to each other. She hates her ex-husband. Maybe she's jealous of the friendship you guys have.