#ewvanda fluff

"Shhh." Ewan's eyes were closed and his face scrunched up as he pulled Avanda closer to his chest. "Easy lass. Just...take a deep breath." Avanda started to protest again, only to be shushed again.

Ewan's fingers ran through her hair, gently untangling the knots she had worked into her hair in the hours she'd spent tossing and turning. He hummed softly, a few words slipping from his lips now and then.

Avanda sighed again, shifting and trying to get more comfortable.

"Be still, lass. Just be still." He pressed a kiss to her nose a little, humming again. "Just breathe."

Hey @my renegade archangel peeps! I know my updates are pretty few and far between, but I do want to write stories and excerpts that you enjoy. I know that all I've been posting lately is Ewan+Avanda stuff, but that's mostly just because that's what I'm motivated to write. What is your honest opinion on those pieces? Should I just assume that I'm the only one who really enjoys that and use them as warm ups that don't get posted? I won't stop writing completely, I just want to know where I should be spending my energy!

Avanda closed her eyes, thankful to finally be away from the crew for a while. She was beyond excited to finally be home again, to be around them; but she still wasn't quite ready to be as…..touchy- as they wanted to be. 

Caelum kept hugging her from behind and resting his chin on her head; an old habit he'd started as soon as he had passed her in height, and she was still ducking out of his arms and trying to hide how badly she was shaking. Thane kept lying down and resting his head in her lap, and she was always making excuses to get up. Nyar kept clapping her on the shoulder, a hand gently gripping the space where her neck and shoulder met and she kept freezing. Eyes cast down and hands clasped together as the conditioning and memories took over while she stood there silently crying. 

It was Ewan she felt the worst for though. Her touchy boyfriend had gotten a tight hug, the kind where neither of them wanted to let go, when she first got home. But after that she'd withdrawn again. She hated herself for it more and more everyday. She could see the hurt in his eyes as she forced a smile at him when he put his arm around her in public, just like she could see the pain from all of her crewmates when she shied away from them. 

She hated herself, but she couldn't help it. The last time someone had laid hands on her, it had been Sevoc. His hands around her throat until her vision had fogged and she'd collapsed, unconscious, to the floor of her cell after a beating. And after 3 months living with a touch averse smuggler….she was severely touch starved. But that didn't change the fact that anytime someone touched her, she wanted to cry. Her skin crawled whenever someone brushed by her; but it burned with that familiar ache that told her it had been too long since she'd let her guard down. 

535 words. Almost all of it dialogue. All of it incredibly, tooth-rottingly self indulgent fluff. Ewan and Avanda can have a little soft, as a treat. Pre-relationship reveal, which isn’t really important until the end.

“Oh come on!”

“No.” “Come onnnnn….” Avanda flopped her head to one side and pushed Ewan playfully. “You know mine, now tell me your’s!”

“That’s different.” Ewan scowled and played with the edge of the blanket.

“How’s it different?”

“You have a nice middle name. Mine’s...mine’s embarrassing.” 

“Are you kidding? Mine isn’t even a real name, Ewan!”

Ewan’s head came up and he laughed. “It is too a name! It’s a very pretty name!”

Avanda giggled. “No it isn’t.”

"Do you ever think about the future?" She asked.

"'Course." Ewan shrugged, smiling at her a little.

Avanda cocked her head a little. "Really?"

"All the time."

Her smile widened. "What's it like then? This future you're always thinking of?"

Ewan sighed thoughtfully. "Well. You and I are married, for starters."

Her smile widened even more. "Off to a nice start."

"And we don't live in the city anymore. We live out in the country, in a nice farmhouse, one with a big wrap around porch. Big enough that Carrick and Peadar could have their own rooms. Could be used as a safe house if the need arose."

Avanda shifted again, grinning widely. His eyes had a faraway look in them, and his lips tilted up in a small smile as he spoke.

"There's an orchard, and we make applesauce in the fall. We have some chickens too. An' maybe a few goats that Peadar likes to help with."

"What else?"

"Every morning, I get up and make some coffee then bring it up to our room and we watch the sunrise-"

"If you ever wake me up before sunrise, I will kill you."

Ewan laughed. "Alright, I'll watch the sunrise then while you sleep in a while. And....and We're happy."

Fluff Fridays seem to just bleed into Soft Saturdays, don't they? Oh well. This is nothing but fluff, and like most Ewvanda fluff it is 10000% self indulgent but I love it so I'm gonna post it and do a taglist anyway because...soft™ (oh yeah, this is in the modern AU, not canon.)

"You're falling asleep."

"No I'm not. Wide awake. See?" Ewan's eyes snapped open as Avanda spoke. They were lying on his bed, where they had been all evening, listening to the rain pattering on the window. He grinned at her now as he shifted to see her better. She had been lying with her head resting on his chest, but now she had propped herself up on one elbow to look at him. 

"You were too falling asleep, Ewan. I shouldn't have even said anything, I should have just slipped out and let you sleep."

"No, I wasn't sleeping!" Ewan protested, propping himself up a little. He knew as well as Avanda did that he had been asleep, or at least well on his way to being fully asleep, but he didn't want her to leave. It had been a long time since the two of them had had any time off together, and he just wanted to stay with her a little while longer. 

Avanda sighed and smiled, leaning forward and giving him a quick kiss on the cheek. 

"Just as well." She said. Ewan could hear the disappointment in her voice as she spoke. "You do need to sleep, and I should be going. It's getting late, and I have to be on base early."

"So do I." Ewan said, grabbing her wrist as she sat up to leave. "We could go in together, really. Just...stay here."

"Stay here?" Avanda laughed a little. "Ewan, I'm not going to sleep all night in my blue jeans."

"You don't have to. I have sweat pants you can borrow."

Avanda sighed again, gently running a finger over the part of his tattoo that peeked out of his t-shirt. "I suppose I could sleep on the couch…."

"No. Never. You'll stay in here, Lass." Ewan shook his head as he spoke, frowning a little. "You'll stay right in here. I'll take the couch."

Avanda rolled her eyes again. "No way that's happening. It's your home; you'll take the bed, I'll be fine on the couch."

They argued back and forth for a few minutes, Ewan using all sorts of silly reasons for her to stay in the room as he gathered up a pair of sweatpants and one of his t-shirts. 

"Besides, it's not like I'll sleep anyway--"

"Nope." Avanda shook her head and crossed her arms. "Not an option."

"What?"

"I'll stay on two conditions: one: you sleep. And two: you sleep in your bed."

Ewan smiled and took her hand in his, pressing a soft kiss on the back. 

"Mar a thogras tu, a bhana-phrionnsa."

Avanda smiled and gathered up the change of clothes with her free hand.  

"But." Ewan said holding up a finger, "I'll only sleep in the bed on one condition."

Avanda raised an eyebrow at him. "And that is…?"

"That you'll consider sleeping in the bed as well?"

Ewan's heart pounded wildly in his chest. Maybe that was too much, too soon. After all, they had only just made their relationship public two weeks ago, maybe she wasn't ready. Maybe--

Avanda scooped up her phone and tapped on the screen. 

"Who…?"

"I'm texting Thane so he won't worry when I don't come home." She explained. 

Ewan felt a huge grin split out across his face as she stood up, still holding his hand. 

Avanda kissed him softly, smiling as well. "I'll go change in the bathroom." She slipped out of the room, and Ewan shook his head, laughing a little at her. 

He got changed himself; a pair of basketball shorts and a flannel, and waited for Avanda to come back. He opened the door when she knocked softly, and couldn't help but smile down at her. 

"What?" She giggled. 

He kissed her nose, giggling himself. "I like seeing you in my clothes." He admitted, wrapping an arm around her and pulling her into the room. 

"I like wearing your clothes." Avanda admitted, her hands playing with the hair at the base of his neck. "They're comfy." 

They moved back to the bed, lying down on top of the covers. They lay on their sides, facing each other. 

Ewan's hands were tangled in Avanda's hair, and her fingers explored the ink on the sides of his neck. 

"May I kiss you?" He whispered. 

"Yes," Avanda smiled, "you may kiss me."

Ewan leaned in, and gently kissed her. Soft and slow, tasting her smile. He pulled away, keeping their foreheads pressed together. 

"May I kiss you?" Avanda asked softly. 

Ewan nodded, twirling her hair around his fingers. 

Avanda's eyes closed as she pressed her lips against his. It was a light kiss, gentle and tender. When they pulled away from each other, they were both breathless and smiling. 

Avanda bit her lip a little, grinning. "Thank you for letting me stay over."

Ewan kissed her again. "Thank you for staying."

    Avanda smiled,  leaning into his touch, “Well, I was making dinner.”

    “Whatcha makin?” Ewan kissed her cheek. 

    “Spaghetti.”

    “Really? Even though the lads are at Addie’s tonight?”

    “What can I say? I had a craving.” Avanda shrugged. “Wanna help?”

    “Ok.” Ewan kissed her again, this time right in front of her ear, drawing a giggle from her as his breath tickled her face. “What should I do?”

    “Pick some music first.”

    Ewan let go of her, leaning against the counter and scrolling through his phone for a good playlist. He grinned, selecting one full of music that reminded him of home. He’d put the playlist together a long time ago, but he found himself listening to it more and more after Avanda had moved in. Usually he only listened to it when she was away on a mission; the apartment seeming too quiet without her humming and singing. When she was there, however, he always liked to hear her sing in their native language. 

    She grinned as it started up, her foot tapping a little as she began to chop an onion. “I always liked this one.” 

    “I know.” Ewan said, “I like the way it sounds when you sing it.”

    “Och, you’re such a sap.” She teased, slapping his arm as he reached around her, taking the can of tomatoes. 

    “Well it’s only true, Lass!” He said, shrugging, “You have a very pretty voice!” 

    “Thank you, darling.” Avanda stood on her toes, leaning up to kiss him.

    Ewan smiled as she joined in the singing, her tounge spinning the words around the kitchen and lighting it up even more. Ewan opened a small jar of herbs, then frowned, “Basil?” He offered it to Avanda, who shrugged.

    “Of course. Rosemary, too.”

    “Yes, Love.”

    He tossed a few of the herbs into the pot with the tomatoes, stirring them and humming. The song ended, shifting to something a little more up-tempo, a dance song. Ewan turned down the heat on the sauce, set down the spoon, and grabbed Avanda’s wrist.

    “Ewan!” She squealed as he started to spin her around, “Ewan, the sauce! It’ll burn!”

    “Let it burn!” He kissed her again, an arm wrapped around her back, holding her close. 

    Avanda laughed again, a full, happy laugh that Ewan hadn’t heard in a long time. He smiled, singing happily as he danced, Avanda finally giving in and dancing with him. He spun her around, lifted her up, all the fun. She laughed the whole time, smiling and singing when she could catch her breath. The song ended and she shook her head, her hands resting on his chest. 

    “Now look what you’ve done.” She said, tapping a stain that had blossomed on his shirt, “Got sauce on your shirt. Must’ve been on my apron.”

    Ewan kissed her nose, smiling as her face scrunched up the way it did every time he kissed the tip of her nose.

    “Just a flannel.” He said, “Getting too warm in here for it anyway.”

    He pulled it off, leaving him in just his white t-shirt. Avanda laughed.

    “And that’s just asking for a mess. Here.” She tossed him another apron, this one a pale blue, covered in little butterflies. Ewan smiled, looping it over his head.

    “Tie it for me?” He asked, turning around.

    Avanda rolled her eyes and muttered something in Gaelic that he didn’t quite catch, then tied the apron for him, pressing a kiss to his back when she was finished. “There you go, darling.” 

    Ewan turned around, smiling and keeping Avanda wrapped in his arms. “Thank you, bòidheaech.” He swayed a little with the music, smiling widely as she slid her arms around his neck.  “What about the sauce?”

"Aw, c'mon!" He said, tilting his head to one side and drawing another annoyed groan from Avanda, "I'm helping!"

Avanda scoffed. "How is wiggling around like a puppy helping?"

"It's camoflauge. It's supposed to be patchy and wiggly. Makes it look more natural." Ewan said as she tilted his chin up with her other hand.

"Yeah? Well this is just ridiculous." Avanda fought a small smile as Ewan shifted again. "I mean I may as well just hold my hand still and let you move around and do it yourself."

"Where's the fun in that?"

"Where's the fun in this?"

Truth be told, she was worried sick about this mission. It was a stealth operation which involved a tactical team breaking into a heavily guarded base. Her mind had been playing what-if's and possible horrible outcomes ever since he'd volunteered for it. Ewan could tell that she was worried. She'd woken up gasping and shivering the last three nights, and even though she refused to tell him about the nightmares, he had a pretty good idea what they were about. So now she stood before him while he sat on a supply crate, helping him get ready. Her face was twisted into a careful mask of frustration, trying to hide the worry in her eyes. She hadn't smiled all day. It had just been a day of pinched eyebrows and her biting her lip. What he wouldn't give to see her smile again....

Ewan grinned a little now, then crossed his eyes quickly and stuck out his tongue, his nose scrunched up as he did so.

Avanda laughed a little at him, and he felt his heart lift at the sound.

"You're gonna get paint in your mouth." She warned.

Ewan shrugged, still grinning. "A little paint never hurt anyone." He frowned a little and grunted as his mouth filled with a bitter taste. Avanda's warning had really been more of a prediction than anything else.

She shook her head at him and smiled again. "Ok. Close your eyes."

Ewan obeyed, and he felt her thumbs ghost over his left eyelid, gently painting over his eye. He leaned into her touch a little as she worked, trying to ease his own worry.

He felt her press a small kiss on the tip of his nose, and he smiled, eyes still closed.

"What was that for?"

"I dunno," He could practically hear her shrug, "You're just too cute not to, I suppose."

He sat still as she moved on to his right eye now, waiting for the ok to open his eyes again.

He felt her breath on his lips as she leaned down, and he met her soft kiss with a smile.

"You'll get paint in your mouth, Lass." He teased as she pulled away.