#everything good

Before, he knew to not to speak during breakfast, as his mother would get annoyed at the noise in “ungodly hour”.

Now, he knows Remus likes post modern literature. He takes care of his books but you can always tell they are used, at the same time as they are loved, corner of a page folded to mark where he stopped, underlined phrases, cracked spine of beloved books he always goes back to.

Before, he knew how to sneak off to the house library and read books without anyone noticing.

Now, he knows Pandora loves to get messy. He knows she loves jumping in puddles, using her fingers to draw, she isn’t afraid of chaos, of mess, she happily embraces it and creates beauty out of it every time.

Before, he knew how to hide tiniest stains and messes, inevitable small imperfections on his clothes, so he never looked improper.

Now, he unfortunately knows how Evan sounds when Barty is “finally putting his cheeky tongue in a good use”, though he wishes he didn’t know about those particular moments, he knows his two best friends love each other fiercely.

Before, he knew that it was some type of fault, liking athletes from his brother’s hidden sports magazine.

Now, he knows what fun is. Standing on the table singing, playing music loudly, he knows what genuine laughter, love and care means, when it doesn’t need to be hidden. He knows Sirius helps his heart just beat a little more confidently.

Before, he knew about Sirius’s love, though he knew it should have been hidden so it wouldn’t be taken away.

Now, he knows friendship, love, family, happiness, gentle care and near-pissing-his-pants laugh. He knows of sex, cheeky and filthy under the faint light of the moon, tender and slow under the just now risen sun. He knows art he creates, music he plays, rings he buys with his brother, books he discusses with his friends, devious plans he makes with them, laughs he has that fill his heart with joy. He knows his brother, his best friends, his girls, his book club, his secret keepers, advice givers and inside joke makers. He knows of his lover, of peace, of safety, of happiness.

The smell of a bookstore

The feeling of sliding between freshly cleaned sheets

The taste of freshly brewed coffee

The view from the mountain top

The sound of hearing "I love you" for the first time