I thought I was making a friend and it turned out they wanted to date me. Again.
A mutual friend has apparently been trying to set us up-- without me knowing. I thought I had been pretty clear in the "get to know your new queer friend" conversations that I'm probably aro not looking to date or ever have a partner?? But apparently both of these new friends being polyamorous in various ways just adds a fun new layer of "oh but that doesn't apply to me, I'm sure they'll want to be in SOME kind of relationship with somebody" to it.
So when she said
"We should hang out again"
And I said
"Sure! Do you want to help me renovate my basement room next week?"
She heard
"This is a date"
And I meant
"Sure! Do you want to help me renovate my basement room next week?"
And I didn't know she thought it was a date until 8 hours later, after she went home, when she texted me to "get it off her chest" that she was confused about how the day went/the fact that my other friend showed up to help with the work.
I'm upset that I upset/embarrassed/disappointed her. But-- and this was the hard part for me to untangle-- I'm also upset that yet again, the person I was trying to be friends with just wanted to date, and now that relationship is gone entirely. That yet again, I was apparently incapable of reading other people's signs or giving off the right signs of my own, and I just. couldn't communicate in this apparently essential way that everybody else has to pick up on what flirting is and when a date is implied.
I'm so tired of this.
