#everyones trans

Remus and James have absolutely no intentions of ever admitting that they’re trans to these random boys they share a room with, and so they keep it so well hidden, they don’t even clock each other. 

By the time Sirius figures out she’s a girl, and Pete figures out they’re NB, they’re all playing a secret game of hide and don’t get caught. None of them question why they all change in the bathroom, none of them question why they’re all so tidy about their clothes, ensuring no one sees anything that might give them away (like binders, packers, pretty skirts or makeup), none of them question the other peoples odd and secretive behaviour, because they don’t want their own weird demeanours questioned. 

It literally takes years before it gets anywhere. 

It’s only when Sirius runs away, when James is there hugging her and consoling her in the middle of the night, without having time to bind since he was in bed. And well, from their close proximity Sirius feels something she doesn’t usually feel whilst being held by James. So she does a little snooping, and finds James’ binder awkwardly stuffed into his bedside drawer, and sees pictures of a tiny little girl with James’ face. James pretty quickly fesses up, making Sirius promise to never breathe a word to anyone, so Sirius comes out to James in turn, and it really solidifies their bond. 

So, back at Hogwarts, Sirius now knows James is trans, and James knows Sirius isn’t a bloke, the other two deep in the dark. Shenanigans ensue. 

Sirius and James are joined at the hip now, constantly around each other, so much so that they’ll both change together in the bathroom at the same time now, not caring around each other because they’re each other's safe space and never feel judged in the other's proximity. Ensuring James sometimes gets lazy with his bindings in the morning since he doesn’t sleep with them on anymore, when he and Sirius share a bed, and sometimes walking through the dorm without them under his baggy shirt. Creating some suspicion from Remus, who sees his own body in James’. 

And sometimes James slips up and refers to Sirius as she or her or a girl in conversations with other people, so mindlessly he doesn’t even notice he’s done it, doesn’t “correct” himself. Most people just assume it was a natural slip of the tongue and bypass it, but it can only happen so many times in their dormitory before Pete and Remus catch on. 

And then they all start noticing more and more things about each other, as they get older, because they’re more perceptive now and notice when things are a little off kilter. Like, they put two and two together as to why Remus always already has bandages around his chest after a full moon and completely hides away his middle but won't hide the rest of himself, even when his legs or face are more scared than his middle. And they notice empty bottles of hormone potions in the rubbish, and ends of bandages sticking out of drawers and makeup in the bathroom. 

They’re all very suspicious of one another, but far too scared to actually come out and say something in fear of being wrong, and then ostracised by their most trusted comrades. 

It all implodes one afternoon, after a very rushed morning to get out of the dorm and to the quidditch pitch on time for the game, because they were all up very late pranking and overslept their alarms. James was shouting and chasing them around the room because he couldn't believe he, the quidditch captain, was running late to his own game. And of course Sirius is running around after him, guilty for maybe waking up earlier and ignoring her alarm without much thought. And then they’re all out the door and in the cold, ready to play and watch the match, just in time for the kick off. 

It’s when they come back to the dormitory that everything unravels. They walk into the dorm together, all having a laugh, when Remus suddenly stops in his tracks and asks, “Erm, what is that?”

It's then that they all turn to face the middle of the room, where right there on the carpet is a soft blue item of clothing. And both Sirius and Peter dive for it, recognising the shape and colour in an instant. 

They both are on the ground, fighting over it for a second before freezing and looking at one another with flabbergasted expressions. 

“What the bloody hell do you need a bra for?” Sirius asked. 

“Why do you know this is a bra?” Pete asked back. 

“Because it’s my-” Sirius shut her mouth immediately. 

“What? No, it’s mine!” Pete sassed back. 

Sirius furrowed her brow, “No, look, it’s mine.” She said, wiggling it in the air, suspended between each of their hands. 

They both looked down at the material between them, one pale blue bra with purple flowers all over it, stretched out from each of them holding one side of the clasp, both sure it was their own. It even has the sweet little bow in the middle that they picked it out for! 

“What the bloody hell do you have a bra for?” Remus asked, cutting in. 

“My tits-” Sirius shouted, at the exact same time as Peter said, “On the days I want boobs-” 

They both looked at eachother again, “No, see, look.” Sirius huffed, tugging at the undergarment, “I picked this out last Christmas, it has a stain on the top of the left boob from my shaving cream- A cup.” 

Pete glared at her, flipping their thumb on the tag to turn it over, reading out the label, “Well, this is a B, so-”

“Wha-” Sirius muttered, freezing in her tracks, remembering a very crucial piece of information. She pulled her own collar out, looking down her top to notice she was wearing the exact same bra already, “Oh, well…”

“Told you.” Pete sassed, grinning as they snatched the garment away. 

“Wait, why do you have a bra?” Sirius asked again. 

“I could ask you the same thing.” Pete narrowed their eyes. 

They stared at each other for a moment, both glaring with hard expressions, neither one willing to break. 

Standing above them still, James groaned, dropping his head forward, “Erm, this is awkward. Perhaps we should go, Rem, before her head explo-”

“Her.” Remus interrupted, “You always call Sirius she.”

“Yeah, you do.” Pete nodded, looking at Sirius still, “Last I checked, you’ve got a dick.”

“Yeah, well maybe I don’t want it.” Sirius sassed, “Last I checked you did too.” 

“Yeah, well…” Pete huffed, “I don’t have a good comeback for that.” 

Sirius swallowed, looking at the blue fabric clutched in Pete's hands, “Are you like me?” 

“Okay, we should definitely leave, Moon-” James tried. 

“Nope.” Remus shook his head, putting his hand on James’ chest to stop him. 

“I don’t know, are you like me?” Pete asked back. 

“Well, I don’t fucking know. What are you?” Sirius sassed. 

Peter glared at her, “You first.”

“No, I asked first.” 

“Well, how am I supposed to fucking answer if I don’t know what you are?”

“Right…” Sirius swallowed, “So… you’re a girl?”

“No.” Pete muttered, and Sirius went pale.

“N-no neither am I. Obviously, I’m not- that would be weird. I’m- it’s not… I was just joking-”

“I’m not a bloke either.” Pete cut in, “I don’t know how to explain it.” 

Sirius tensed, staring at Pete with desperate eyes, “But you… you have a bra?”

“Cause sometimes I like wearing one.” Pete swallowed, “And sometimes I like makeup, and sometimes I don’t. And sometimes I wanna have a beard and put glitter on my eyes and wear a bra and boxers and… I- I don’t know.” 

“Oh…” Sirius nodded, “Well, I don’t…. I like makeup too, and bras… and skirts, and stuff. Don’t like that boy shit though.” 

“So, you’re not….”

“A bloke, yeah.” She sighed, kind of relieved to get it off her chest, “Shit, yeah, no. I’m a girl.”

“Oh…” Pete swallowed, “So… was that your hormone potion I found under James’ bed?”

“No, I don’t take mine anywhere other than the box on my bookshelf.” Sirius said defensively, before tensing and glancing up at James, “Wait- no, it probably was. I might have accidentally-”

“Nah, it wasn’t.” James shrugged, sighing, “It was mine.” 

“Wait, what?” Remus asked, gobsmacked. 

“Your’s?” Pete asked, “Are you a girl too?”

“No, I’m a bloke.” He shrugged, lifting up his shirt and running his hands over the little scars under his chest, “See, bloke. No tits, chopped ‘em off… wow, that was great to get off my chest-”

“Oh my fuck- stop making that joke, James. It’s old.” Sirius groaned. 

“Not to them, it’s not!” He defended. 

“You know about each other?” Peter asked, looking between James and Sirius. 

“You weren't born a bloke either?” Remus muttered, staring at James in awe. 

“Nah, I’m on hormone potions-”

“Wait, either?” Sirius asked from the ground, looking up at Remus. 

Remus turned red, “Well… yeah.” He huffed, leaning over for the box on the end of his bed, opening it up to show his own hormone potions inside, “Me too.” 

“Oh…” James said, looking down at the potions before up at Remus, “You’re like me?”

“Yeah, I guess so.” Remus shrugged. 

“Okay, wait, are we all…” Sirius started, looking around at the other three, “Are we all a different gender than what we were born with?” 

“Yeah.” Pete shrugged, as the other two nodded in agreement. 

“Bloody hell.” James laughed, “Six and a half years of running around in secret for nothing, then?”

“That could have saved me so many problems.” Remus groaned, “I made Madame Pomfrey come up with a binding spell to help compress my chest after full moons so you all wouldn’t fucking notice-”

“I got Effie and Flea to find me a glamour spell to cover the fact that I’m growing tits all the time.” Sirius said, smiling up at them, hurriedly reaching for her wand to rid herself of the glamour, “Look, there's a lump!” She said, turning to the side. 

“Merlin, you can have mine, if you want.” Remus offered with a laugh. 

“So we’re all just fucking stupid?” Pete asked with a smile. 

“I guess so.” James shrugged, “Do you reckon we were all put together in this dorm on purpose?” 

“If they did do it on purpose, then why the fuck didn’t they tell us.” Sirius huffed, “Do you know how many times I’ve whacked James for calling me a girl in front of you lot? I mean, it feels great but it stresses me out.”

“Yeah, sorry about that.” James blushed. 

“Do you reckon Minnie will make you move into the girls' dorm if she finds out?” Pete asked. 

“God, I hope not.” She grimaced, “I don’t think I’ll survive living in a dorm without James.” 

“Oh, hey!” Remus grinned, pointing down at her, “You’ll be able to get into the girls' dorms now, right? We can finally pull that prank on the girls… put those frogs in their bed, get them back for the spiders.” 

Sirius grinned, “Oh, you’re brilliant, Remus-”

“Do you reckon Pete will be able to get in?” James asked, looking down at them.

“I don’t know?” Pete replied, furrowing their brow, “I’m not a girl.”

“Yeah, but you’re not a bloke. The charm is there to keep boys out.” 

Peter squinted their eyes, “Should we go try it out?” 

“Yeah!” James shouted, as they all scrambled towards the door. 

“Oi, imagine the look on the girls' faces if you can get in.” Remus added. 

Pete could, of course, get in. And the look on the girls' faces was golden. Marlene was rendered into a giggling heap on the ground, because they already knew about Pete, they’re the same. Mary just stared, jaw dropped, and when Sirius waggled her eyebrows and stepped into the room too she jumped up on her chair and shouted, “Bloody hell, Sirius! Are you like me?” Shocking the shit out of them all. Lily was just very confused until they all explained what was happening. 

The girls also did not appreciate the frogs in their dormitory that night. 

Anyway, they’re all stupid (affectionate). Joanne, fuck you, all your characters are trans in my eye’s. Just you wait. We will take over.