#everlart

The door swings open and Peeta takes a step back; blue eyes wide and alert as he takes in Katniss’s sudden appearance.

Her tone is clipped, businesslike. “What do you want?”

He clears his throat. “I wanted to see how you were doing.”

Katniss’s eyes narrow, sending steely gray arrows straight into Peeta’s chest. “I’m doing fine.”

“Yeah, I can see that,” he deadpans.

A moment later, Peeta sighs, his whole body seems to deflate as the air leaves his lungs. His eyes, soft and pleading, find hers. “I also came to apologize.”

“You’ve done that already,” she grumbles, crossing her arms as she desperately tries to ignore the way his presence soothes her. She needs to stay mad at him, if only for tonight.

Peeta nods, the tiniest hint of a smile tugging at his lips. “Yeah. But, somehow, I got the feeling that it didn’t take. So, I’m here to try again.”

Katniss shrugs. “Fine, whatever, apology accepted.” She takes a small step back and moves to close the door. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Peeta lunges forward, placing a firm hand on the door. “Wait! Katniss, please, don’t shut me out.”

His words rekindle her fire. Months of longing and frustration finally come pouring out of her like an avalanche of feelings she’s unable to control.

“Cause that’s your job, right?” she yells, “Keeping me at arm’s length, treating me like I’m nothing but a body you can mold and train, something to bark instructions at. After all these months of being nothing but my trainer, you suddenly want to be my friend? What makes you think I even want you here?”

Peeta stills and stares at her, his knuckles white as he holds the door open.

Startled by the vehemence of her own words, Katniss steps away from him and buries her face in her hands.

Her mind reels. She desperately wishes she could take it all back. Because, even if she’s mad at Peeta, and she knows he deserves her anger, he doesn’t merit her hate, though. Never her hate. Not after everything he’s done.

Silence stretches between them, thick and oppressive, charged with sorrow and regret. They’ve spent so many weeks dancing around each other, leaving things unsaid, that they don’t know how far they can go with each other anymore.

When she finally brings herself to look up at him, she notices that he hasn’t moved an inch. A mix of surprise and hurt clouds his features, making him look so much like the 11-year old boy who threw her the bread that she can’t stop the tears from pooling in her eyes.

She wants to run into his arms, to throw herself at his mercy and ask his forgiveness for hurting him yet again. But she’s stubborn and afraid, so she stands there, feeling guilty and small, trembling like a leaf in a storm.

It doesn’t take long for Peeta to snap into action. Wordlessly, he closes the distance between them. His arms reach out for Katniss and pull her to him.

She mirrors his motions, automatically wrapping her arms around his broad frame. She’s so hungry for his touch that she buries her face in his shirt and breathes him in, filling her senses with the musky scent of cinnamon and spices she knows can only be his.

His arms tighten around her. She melts into his embrace, tightly clutching his sleep shirt in her fists and pulling him impossibly close.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers into her hair.

Peeta’s tender words touch something deep within her. Suddenly, all the walls she’s carefully erected to protect herself come crumbling down. Unguarded, Katniss cries.

Fat, sad tears stream down her cheeks, warming her face and soaking Peeta’s soft shirt.

“I’m sorry,” Peeta repeats, pressing his lips to the top of Katniss’s head.

Sobs wrack through her body, and she holds on to him, desperately, like a girl shipwrecked at sea grasping at the last piece of driftwood within her reach.

Peeta doesn’t let go. His warm, steady hand strokes her back, and he begins to sway, rocking in a gentle, soothing motion.

Katniss’s tears slowly run out, turning her sad whimpering into a round of hiccups that make her whole body shake. Annoyed, she loosens her hold on Peeta and steps back just enough to see his face.

Peeta’s eyes are puffy and red. He’s smiling softly at her, but he still looks as broken and defeated as she feels.

She reaches up and, with tender strokes, brushes his golden waves away from his face. “I’m sorry… Peeta,” she whispers between hiccups, “I didn't… mean that.”

Peeta’s smile widens. “Hold your breath.”

She rolls her eyes but does as she’s told, dramatically using her fingers to block the air flow from her nose. As soon as her lungs begin to burn, she lets go of her nose, happily expelling all the air from her chest before greedily taking her next breath.

With her breathing under control, she turns to Peeta once more. His eyes find hers. There’s a spark in them that makes her skin tingle.

Suddenly, the words she wanted to say to him when they stepped off their carriage earlier in the day rush back into her mind. Fighting the soft blush that’s creeping up her cheeks, Katniss clears her throat. Her shy voice fills the air between them. “Glowing embers suit you, you know? You should wear them more often.”

Peeta’s eyebrows shoot up. His playful smile lights up the room. “Oh, yeah? I’ll let Portia know, maybe she can do something about that,” he says with a wink.

Katniss chuckles. Stepping closer to him, she places her outstretched palm over his chest, eager to feel the steady beat of his heart under her fingertips.

Peeta’s hand covers hers. His mirth is replaced by nostalgia when he says, “That was the first time you ever kissed me.”

Katniss nods. She’s blushing furiously now, but her proximity to Peeta is making her reckless, so she pushes through. “I thought you were messing with me,” she admits, “that you were trying to distract me, or something.”

She feels him tense under her touch. His walls are coming up. “Is that why you kissed me, to distract me?”

Katniss bites her lip and nods lowering her eyes to the ground. She doesn’t want to hurt him, but she feels so close to him right now that she can’t bring herself to lie.

Swallowing thickly, she admits, “That’s what I thought at the time. But I’m not so sure anymore.” Her heart’s beating a mile a minute, it’s making her lightheaded. “I’m sorry I lashed out at you today. I really have no right. You don’t owe me anything, Peeta.”

Hooking his index under her chin, Peeta lifts Katniss’s face. Ocean blue eyes, full of kindness and affection look down at her. “Maybe I don’t. But I’m still on your side, no matter what. And I don’t care what anyone thinks. In my eyes, you’re perfect, Katniss. You’ve always been.”

She pulls her face away from him, simultaneously rolling her eyes and fixing him with a murderous scowl. “You shouldn’t say things like that,” she huffs.

Peeta laughs, it’s warm and contagious. It makes her heart flutter.

“And miss out on that fierce scowl of yours?” he asks, “No way!”

She crosses her arms and drops her chin to her chest. “You’re an idiot,” she grumbles through her smile.

Peeta chuckles. After a moment, he sobers up. Slowly, he reaches out to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. “Are we ok?”

Katniss nods.

“Good.” His fingers slide down her messy braid, giving it a soft tug when they reach the end.  “Alright, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow then.”

He’s almost out the door when Katniss calls out. “Peeta?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you think… Could you stay?”

It takes Peeta a full second to process Katniss’s request. It’s hard to focus on her words when his heart is beating so fast he fears it might explode. With a deep breath, he steps back into the room, quietly pushing the door shut behind him.

He looks at Katniss. She’s standing a few steps away, waiting for him, looking frazzled as she anxiously fiddles with the hem of her sleep shirt.

He doesn’t move, but he smiles at her and watches as her face immediately lights up with something that’s both foreign and achingly familiar. Hope.

He wants to run to her, to repeat the promise he once made, to tell her that he’ll stay by her side, always. But he knows how uncomfortable those words make her. And, given how little ‘always’ amounts to under their current circumstances, he decides to avoid any grand gestures and settle with a simple “Yes.”