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“Too glam to give a damn.” ✨ Somewhere between Cinderella at midnight and Bond villain at brunch. Dress: behaving better than I am tonight.
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Kal
Canon EOS M100, EF-M15-45mm f/3.5-6.3 IS STM
[EN] The drowsiness won’t let go. I’m trying to finish editing the christening photos before communion season hits — all while keeping up with my daily walking and photography routine.
My eyes are closing on their own. Maybe I just need a quick nap. Or maybe I need something more — the acceptance that I can’t do everything at once.
I just want to sleep. Do absolutely nothing for a few days.
I want to go to a photography retreat by a lake and party for a few days with models. Disconnect from this looping daily grind. A proper vacation. A break. Some quiet.
Yeah, I know — there was the May long weekend. It didn’t get me far.
And now another weekend is coming. A weekend with a communion shoot. Meetings about a music video. A visit to a recording studio. Probably something else I’ve already forgotten about.
It’s fine. It’s fine.
There’ll be a free weekend. Eventually. …Right?
[PL] Senność nie odpuszcza. Próbuję dokończyć zdjęcia z chrzcin, zanim nadejdzie czas komunii. Jednocześnie staram się utrzymać rytm codziennego chodzenia i fotografowania.
Oczy zamykają mi się same. Może potrzebuję szybkiej drzemki. A może potrzebuję czegoś więcej — pogodzenia się z faktem, że nie da się zrobić wszystkiego naraz.
Chcę się po prostu wyspać. Nie robić absolutnie nic przez kilka dni.
Chcę pojechać na fotograficzny zlot nad jeziorem i przez kilka dni imprezować z modelkami. Oderwać się od tej zapętlonej codzienności. Wakacji. Urlopu. Ciszy.
Tak, wiem — była majówka. Nie na wiele wystarczyło.
A teraz znów zbliża się weekend. Weekend z komunią. Spotkaniami w sprawie teledysku. Zwiedzaniem studia nagrań. Pewnie jeszcze czymś, o czym w tej chwili nawet nie pamiętam.
To nic. To nic.
Kiedyś w końcu będzie wolny weekend. Prawda?
Heck of a West Seattle sunset. **** #lastlight #eveningdrama #light #pnwisbeautiful #islands #pugetsound #skyscape #skyporn #cloudlovers #sunset_pics #westseattle #lookingwest (at Arbor Heights, Seattle) https://www.instagram.com/p/BmdZrxCAa9v/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=2stsbedmec3h
Sometimes, there comes a time when I just wanted to really cry. Cry hard to swept away all the sadness in me. I wish that all my worries, fears and frustrations will just swept away like a mess in the floor or in the ceiling. At one point in time I find myself rattled by the situations. I left hanging, and I don't know what to do.
What is happening to me? I know I wouldn't suppose to ask you that question but there's a part of you that completes me.Â
Isn't funny when we used to think of our future which is ahead of us? I remember when I was a child that I used to say to myself that I want to accomplish this and do that and all of a sudden when you start doing it you just felt that it's all worth the wait, that it's an experience for you to accomplish or do that thing.
Our future's still left unsaid. All that we know is that we live in our present life and we continue to face life's challenges and reality. Have you ever imagine yourself living somewhere, being successful, rich and you can have all that you wanted? Of course, it's everyone's dream.
But apart from it is the reality that we are hoping and expecting for the things that we want to aim for the future, for our future. And for us to experience it we need to aim and continue to struggle and face what is ahead of us. Survival of the fittest.
It's hard and its a very tough challenge for us to strive or aim for the best and its even more complicated to see someone who's grieving because of poverty. It's sad to celebrate special occasions when you overheard, saw and experience it by yourself the facts that our country is experiencing by now.
Sometimes all that we can do is to hope and pray for our country to surpass all of this problems that were dealing with. I cannot believe that we are ending the year with so many people in the globe that has no food to eat in their tables. They have no reason to celebrate because they had no food to eat. They just sleep and hope that their neighbors would gave them anything.
What is really ahead of us?
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Gaaahd! So much wasted for now! I feel like puking again! damn! :l I swear I wont be drinking again not that much this 2012! Swear! I mean I really don't feel like drinking that much :l Hahaha! Seriously that's only 3 bottles. :(( Gaaahd!
Anyway, I hope I can go shop tomorrow! :) I'm going shopping, hopefully. Just the things that I want and need for myself. Still, my head aches. Ugh! I swear, I won't drink! not anymore!Â
i don't get it! life's too unfair! one day your happy and then the next day it'll just then turn into garbage! i don't get the point of having such jeopardy in life. i guess i have to accept the fact that life is too complicated. sometimes it is based on how we see life, sometimes its a case-to case basis. sometimes its by accident. and no one really does know what would happen in the future except from God.Â
i just wish that life would turn back the way it was when tragedies didn't exist. problems were not created. life would be much so easier if that happened. but the problem is that its purely based on my imaginative mind. in short, i was hoping to gt an easy way to get rid of my problems, for the troubles that i made. i just wish they didn't exist at all.Â
and the night was filled with so much loneliness. the silence, i heard screaming while I lay down in my bed. everyone's asleep and i'm the only one who's still wide awake, maybe. i realized that i'm so much lonely now that even my family wouldn't notice me, not at all. and it i hate it that i have to be lonely not physically but mentally and emotionally. boredom sucks. i can't talk to someone who does gave me his/her fully attention to me.
it felt to me like i was the only person in the world, trying to reach out. i'm speaking as if i were whispering. i'm hearing things that i didn't want to hear. the sound of silence, the broken dreams of the daylight. the hiss of the stars in the night. memories keep coming back.Â
