#eurvision

Eurovision 2023.

Fancy that—a jury made up of criminals

It's the campest night of the year, and it never ever disappoints (unless you're the United Kingdom, loooool) It was a night of yet another Swedish win as Loreen became the first woman to win the contest twice, and helped her most #eurovision of nations to a record-equalling seven wins. It was in many ways, however, a night of scandal, as the man with the most luminous of green sleeves, Käärijä, of Finland, was beaten to Euro supremacy by the votes of the shadowy Eurovision jury. This is where we must take a turn for the wholesome, however, in telling Käärijä now that you did us proud, the nation of Finland prouder still, and most importantly of all, you did yourself proud. Cha cha cha.