Chapter 1

don't paint me in solid colors

Lexi hadn't seen Rue at their english ap class or their chemistry lab later that day and was now looking for her in the dining room. She wanted to give her a copy of the play shed mentioned in the bathroom a few days ago and hoped she would read it so she could get a few hints on her current state. Rue believed she was fooling everyone, but Lexi knew she wasn't sober and she decided this time she wasn't going to stay quiet, hopefully the play would be enough and she wouldn't have to confront her directly about the topic. She sat down next to Jules and Elliot hoping Rue would eventually arrive.

“Hey, have you seen Rue? I really wanted to give her something and she wasn't in any of our classes this morning.” She kept her eyes locked on both of them. Something was off.

“Em, no I didn't see her bike either so she probably skipped school today.” Jules' tone told her that she didn't think it was a big deal, but Lexi knew Rue wasn't allowed to skip school. She had to check in every morning with the principal due to her overdose last year.

“Oh, well if you see her could you please tell her to call me or answer my texts?” She tried to sound casual, but she was starting to worry and was debating calling her house to check if she was there, but her mom could pick the phone and then she would know Rue wasn't doing as great as she wanted everyone to believe. She walked to her locker to change her books for her afternoon classes and thought about texting Fez, maybe he had an idea of Rue’s whereabouts and she could avoid confronting Rue's mom.

“Hey Fez ! It’s Lexi ! From New Year's Eve.” Eww to cringey of course he knew her, she went and ambushed him at the store the other day.

“Have you seen Rue?” - ok no, too mean

“Heyy Fez, Lexi , have you seen Rue ?” Ahhh Lexi you’re stressing too much, He's. NOT. Even. Available. Chill.  Whatever, just send it.

"Heyy Fez, this is Lexi ! Have you seen Rue, she's not at school so maybe you've seen her?" Yes this isnt bad, send it.

She went to her math class and focused on the board so she would forget about her phone.

Doing math helped her quiet her mind and stop worrying for a while, so at the end of the class she checked her phone. Fez had answered.

Lexi H. : "Heyy Fez, this is Lexi ! Have you seen Rue, she's not at school so maybe you've seen her?"

Fez: “Yo lexi”

Fez: “no sorry”

Fez:“Is she missing missing?”

Lexi H. : “Yes, she didn't come to school today and she has to check in”

Lexi H. : “Im worried she might be in trouble”

Lexi H. : “She hasn't been clean for a while and im worried”

Fez: “yeah i know”

Fez: “i'll leave ash to look after the store and look fo her”

Lexi H. : “I'll go with you, could you pick me up near the school?”

Fez: “nah you don't have to get into this lexi”

Fez: “don't need to skip your school”

Lexi H. : “I only have one class left, please im worried”

Lexi H. : “She's been my friend for a long time”

Lexi H. : “I want to do something this time”

Fez: “ok i'll pick you up next to the mini mart”

Lexi H. : “Ok see you there”

Lexi's heart was racing, she was going to skip school and go on a hunt for her addict best friend with a drug dealer. It didn't sound like her at all, but she cared about Rue and it was the right thing to do.

She walked through the hallway opposite of her classroom and went out, it was sunny and cold. Perfect weather to go scouting for your friend she thought sarcastically. The nerves started climbing up her legs and arms making it harder to walk fast. The minimart was only a block away, there weren't many cars or people, and even if there were no witnesses she felt observed. The sound of her loafers against the concrete quickened as well as her breathing, there was no sign of Fez on the street. Waiting next to the trash containers would cover her from most angles and seemed to be her best option until Fez would come for her. A few cars passed the street until a goldish brown Cadillac stopped in front of the mart so she came out of her hiding spot and waved at Fez.

“What's up Lexi! “Fez stepped out of the car and opened the passenger door for her.

“Come in here, how've you been?”

Now she had a mixture of nerves and bubbles in her stomach. His eyes locked on hers and she felt her face get warmer. Keep it together  Lexi you're not here to flirt you are looking for your friend, plus there's that blond girl remember. Hes. not. Available.

“I'm good, yeah…. Em you? “Why the fuck did she smile so much??!!

“It's been a weird week, but yeah good overall, and em don't worry about Rue we'll find her fast.”

Fez closed her door and went around the front of the car to sit in the driver's seat. The sound of the engine and the door locking startled. He looked at her and smiled, his blue eyes locked on hers again. “Yes i bet she's probably at Ali’s house or maybe at the NA meeting building.” That was a lie, if she was on drugs again there's no way she'd go there, but checking didn't hurt.

Yeah I also got a few places I think she might be. The car started moving towards the NA meeting site and the stereo was playing rap music at a low volume.

“Um you can change the music if you want.”

“No it's ok, I like rap, this is good.”

The sound of the engine and the music were drowned by the tension of the silence between them until Fez rescued them both

“So how was school today? Interesting?”

“Yeah mostly, um I was a bit distracted by the absence of Rue, but it kept me focused and eased  my mind for a while. Um, I saw Jules and Elliot at lunch and I also finished a play i've been writing.”

“Yeah I remember Jul I don't know who that Elliot man is. That's cool Lex em… do you think i could read it sometime? ”

Ok now she could feel her cheeks burning,

“Yes, I'll print you a copy!” She began to edit the play in her mind. Fez wasnt stupid hed probably figure out that Graces’ love interest was him. She changed a lot of things, but mostly so people at school wouldn't be able to figure out the similarities. The thought of Fez reading or seeing it never crossed her mind.

“It's not great, but i wanted to do something different this year, plus the drama club always does the same boring play so i just went for it.”

“You go Lex and don’t be doing that again, i thought we’d covered that in new years.”

“What?” His eyes found hers again. She smiled. Fuck the blond girl. She thought.

“All the second guessing shit and whatnot.”

“Yeah , I'm sorry it's a habit I'm trying to break. Sort of a new year's resolution.”

He smiled at her.

“Aight if you stop i'll stop beating punk's faces “

Lexi let out a laugh

“In my defense he had it coming and he deserved more.”

“Yeah probably, but it's still bad, don't you think?”

“I mean generally yeah, but he's the exception to the rule.”

“Ok you win, it's a deal.” She stretched her hand towards him

“Deal.” He took his right hand off the steering wheel and took lexis hand.

His hand was bigger than she thought and felt rough against her fingers, his fingers were long and freckled with clean short nails.

We're here. He got out of the car towards Lexis' side while she opened the door. The sun was behind him making a shadow of his front and he stretched his hand, lexi took it and stepped out of the car.

The building was plain. You couldnt expect much from a NA center but the secrets and sorrows it held were embedded in its architecture and color scheme. Fez opened the door and let her through, following her towards a table that functioned as a reception.

There was an old lady sitting down reading a book.

“Hi, I'm sorry to interrupt, I'm Lexi! I'm looking for a friend and I think she could be here. Do you think you could help me see if she's here?”

“Hi sweety. Yes, if you could give me a name I could see if she checked in today or if someones seen her around.”

“Yes, it's Rue Bennet. She's around my age, tall, skinny, wild hair, nice smile.”

She turned her head towards Fez pleading for help with her eyes.

Fez moved his hands with the palms facing down in a gesture telling her to calm down.

“Well she's not in the check in book, but let me ask a few people if they've seen her. “

“Yes thank you i'll wait here. “

Her back was now facing the table and she looked at Fez.

“I don't think she's here at all. I mean if i were using drugs again i'd probably go anywhere, but here. I just really hoped what I was imagining wasn't true”.

“Yeah i dont think shes here either, but it's always good to check maybe someday the best case scenario could be true.”

“Yeah, it's tough with Rue, especially because she's so convincing. She was different when we were younger”.

“Yeah I bet. I met her after her dad died and everything, so i wouldn't really know the difference, but even this version of her has good things you know. Nothins’ always good or bad, it's a mix.”

“Yes I can see how the good parts are the same, it's part of her essence”

.

His eyes met hers and she redirected them towards the end of the hall.

“How's Faye?”

“Who?”

“Faye, em the blond girl that's staying with you?”

“Oh yeah, em she 's good I guess. Ash isn't very happy about it, but it's not forever so whatever hell be fine.”

Well at least now she knew he didn't have a long term commitment in his mind, but it didn't make him available so it didn't matter. Hes. not. Available. She clapped in her mind

“How long have you been… you know like together or with each other or something.” She shook her head, that was so awkward.

“Who ? Ash? I mean he's not my brother brother you know, but since he was probably like two or three? Or what you mean…. Sorry I'm confused here... What? “

“No em like you and Faye. It's not important, I was just wondering. Sorry if i'm being intrusive you don't have to answer.”

“What? No no she's not. I mean I'm just doing her boyfriend a favor, he's an associate and he needed to lay low for a while so she's staying with us until he's fixed everything. No, I don't have anyone. It's just Ash and I, and my grandma.”

Lexi’s smile defied gravity, her eyes locked with Fez’s and for the first time she didn't look away. She could swear Fez was smiling too only more discreetly, but his eyes were smiling as much as her mouth and now she didn't have any excuse.

He. IS. available. Her mind clapped.

“Sweety, no one has seen her here today. I'm sorry, from what some people told me she's having a hard time. I hope you find her well.” The old lady smiled and sat at the table.