#eunmin

“How are you feeling?” He stretched his back before reaching his hand toward her and cupping her cheek.

“Thirsty.” She smacked her lips together, dry and chapped. He wasted no time in grabbing the water he set aside for her. She sat up, wincing as her abdomen flexed. She inhaled sharply, feeling his hands gently push her back.

“It’s okay, be careful.” He held the straw to her lips, watching as she sipped on the water.

She swallows, letting the cool water run through her body. “Thank you.”

She studies the room, letting her head fall bsck against the pillow. “Where’s Ev?”

“Getting coffee.”

“She should be home with Eva.” She sighed, running her hand over her face.

“She wanted to see you awake.” He frowned. “I told her to go home and get some rest and that I’d keep her updated, but she wouldn’t listen to reason.”

“That’s Evelyn for you.” She chuckled, immediately stopping when she felt the pain in her abdomen.

“Take it easy, E.” He set the water down, grabbing her hand and squeezing it.

“How bad did they do?” She closed her eyes, breathing out through her nose.

He sighed, his breathing unsteady as he brought her hand to his lips. “Your right tube ruptured and they had to remove it. They suspected it happened when you were throwing up.”

"So I only have my left one now?”

Seokmin nodded, running his fingertips over her knuckles. “I’m sorry, Eden.”

“You have nothing to apologize for.” She forced a smile towards him, squeezing his hand back. “I’m okay.”

“This past week, I was away and preparing, you were in pain—I had no idea.”

“I didn’t tell you because I thought it was just my normal cramps,” Her voice trembled. “Not this.”

She noticed the glint in his eyes before he quickly turned his face away from here. Her heart shattered at the sight of him close to tears.

“Seok…”

Her hand unraveled from his, reaching up to run her fingers through his hair. “Look at me, please.”

His shoulders shook, finally facing her again but with tears streaming down his face. She tried her best to wipe them away, feeling the weight of the day come crashing down on them.

“I’m gonna be okay. We’re all gonna be okay eventually, alright?” Her vision blurred as tears pooled in her eyes, the saltiness burning where she had wiped them previously. “Please be kind to yourself.”

He sniffled, intertwining their fingers together while his heart broke more. “I love you. You’re my family now and my priority above everything. In sickness and in health, remember?”

Eden looks down to see the wedding band glimmer on his finger, pursing her lips to hold back her sobs as she nods. She reaches out for him, Seokmin wasting no time in standing to hug her over the bed.

“I love you so much, Eden.”

She hooks her arms under his, her hold weak as she cries. “I love you more.”

He kisses her head before pulling back, looking at her and wiping her tears.

“You’re awake?” Evelyn pops her head in through the door, two coffees in both her hands. She looks disheveled and out of sorts. The epitome of someone who hasn’t slept or stopped worrying.

Seokmin nods, stepping out of her way so Evelyn can see her sister. He wipes his eyes with the back of his hand, taking the coffee the woman offers him.

“I’m gonna see if I can find something for you to eat, okay?”

Eden nods, watching as he walks out of her room. She reaches for her sisters hand, giving it a squeeze. “You should’ve gone home. You know Eva can’t sleep without–”

“No, Eden. I needed to make sure you’re okay.”

“I’m fine now, just–”

“Don’t say you’re fine. You could have died!” She stood up out of frustration. “You were bleeding internally. You had a massive pool of blood that just kept growing in your stomach. We could’ve lost you. I could have lost you!”

Eden watched as Evelyn started to cry, tears forming in her own eyes. She didn’t know the details. But as she watched her sister tremble and remembered how Seokmin cried, it became clear to her how serious everything was.

“I’m sorry.” Evelyn covered her face with her hands, shoulders shaking as she cried. “I didn’t mean to raise my voice.”

“No, I’m sorry.”

The woman sniffled, sitting on the edge of her bed and reaching for her hand. She exhaled deeply before speaking. “It was a very serious procedure. You only have one tube now, so it might be harder for you to get pregnant in the future. Not only that… but you’re going to grieve something else entirely.”

She knew what she was talking about. She didn’t have to say anything, she already knew. It was the potential what ifs. What could have been if her body hadn’t betrayed her. Eden’s bottom lip began to wobble as her sister raised her hand to brush her hair.

“You’re my baby sister, Eden. I don’t know what I would’ve done if I lost you. I don’t even want to think about it.” Evelyn pursed her lips, taking note of the warmth flooding her cheeks compared to earlier. “We were so scared.”

“I’m sorry.” She choked back a sob. “I thought…”

“I know you did.” She extended the sleeve of her shirt, blotting the corners of Eden’s eyes. “You’re gonna get through this. Promise.”

Evelyn held out her pinkie. Eden pouted, sniffling as she locked her pinkie with hers.

“Let’s just focus on getting you recovered right now. Then we will deal with everything else. I’m gonna be here for you, every step of the way.”

She nodded. “I love you.”

“I love you more.” Evelyn stood up, leaning over the bed and giving her a tight hug. The girl winced in pain. “Shit, I’m sorry. You should be due for more medicine soon.”

“Do they know how long I’ll be staying?”

“A couple days at most.” Evelyn pressed down on her call light to summon a nurse to her room.

“Please tell me you’ll go home and get some rest and kiss Eva for me.”

With a sigh, Evelyn patted her leg. “I’ll head out at shift change. Should I bring Eva to visit?”

“Do you think she should see me like this?”

“Babe, you looked ten times worse yesterday. She’ll be happy to see you.”

Eden pursed her lips, trying not to laugh. “Okay, I really gotta pee.”

“Let me help you.” She carefully pulls the blankets off of her, standing up and assisting her sister. Her abdomen hurts the most, but she’s able to stand up on her own and pad to the bathroom.

“I’m okay.” She reaches for the door, feeling sympathetic when her sister backs off . She closes the door, hesitant to look in the mirror. When she finally gains the courage, she turns and takes a minute to study the girl staring back at her. Her cheeks are hollowed, dark circles under her eyes and a flush to her cheeks. She didn’t know how to feel about that woman in the hospital clothes. She carefully lifted her shirt, revealing the orange stains on her skin and bandages just above her belly button, as well as across her lower abdomen. She starts to tear up again, her skin already starting to bruise and bleeding through the gauze.

She lets the shirt fall, moving out of the way of the mirror and goes on with what she was doing. She didn’t want to look at herself anymore. She wished she was in anyone’s body but hers, going through anything else.

When she opens the door, Seokmin is back. He stands up and is ready to help her. Her lips curve slightly upwards as he helps her back to the bed. “I found jello and pudding. Does that sound good?”

“Mmm, jello sounds really good.” Eden scoots higher up on the bed, ignoring the pain and instead delighting in the way his face lights up.

“Jello it is.” He covers her back up with the blankets before grabbing the sweet he found and a spoon. He opens it before handing it to her, leaning to give her a kiss on the forehead.

“Thank you.” She takes a tiny bite, relieved to taste something other than water and the grogginess from the day.

Everyones attention turns to the nurse entering the room, bowing her head. Seokmin and Evelyn step out of the way as she takes Eden’s vitals, checks on her surgical site and charts her pain medication.

“How’s your pain, miss?” The nurse smiles down at her as she cleans her IV.

“Very sore.”

“I’m sorry. Hopefully this will help a bit.” She administers the medicine, checking in on Seokmin and Evelyn before leaving. It works quick, making Eden anxious and drowsy.

“Seok.” She reaches for Seokmin’s hand as tears fall down her cheeks.

He shushes her, wiping her tears away and reassuring her. “It’s okay, E. I’m right here. I’m not leaving.”

She nods her head, her eyes fluttering shut. Evelyn bites her lip, finally sitting down beside her bed and watching the two.

“I’m sorry, I almost never have cramps. You guys can still go to the playground, I’m gonna have to sit this one out.”

“Aren’t you almost done? It’s been a couple days.”

“Tomorrow's day eight. And the bleeding has been consistent.” Eden runs her hands through her hair, getting it out of her face as she breathes in through her nose.

Evelyn scanned over her, her brain working out any possible explanation. “It’s your period?”

She nodded, only able to use her body to indicate how she’s feeling.

“Eden…” She spoke slowly and softly. “Is there any chance it’s not?”

She squinted her eyes open, looking over to her sister and not having a clue what she’s implying. “What?”

“Are you sure it’s your period? Were you guys… trying at all?”

“We’re not… not trying.” She started to think she might actually be sick.

Evelyn let her head fall back in a moment of weakness before collecting herself. She pulled out her phone to call somebody.

“Evelyn, what’s going on?” She felt the paranoia begin to settle in her bones.

“You might be pregnant, Eden. That’s not normal for you to be bleeding and doubled over in pain.”

Tears began to well up in her eyes. “I’m fine, I just needed to sit down. Besides, Eva still has to play–“

“No, Eden. I’m not taking any more chances, not with you.” Evelyn stands up, pressing the phone to her ear and walking to stand under the tree across the path.

Eden had no idea what she was talking about until it hit her. Evelyn had been in her position before. She knew a whole lot more than her. And she didn’t want her sister to go through the same things and waste time like she did.

She took a deep breath, turning her head so her niece didn’t see her crying. She started to tremble and as her stomach clenched, the pain started to worsen. “Who are you calling?”

“Noah. I’m gonna have him come and take Eva home. Then I’ll drive you to the hospital.” She looked back at her sister, forcing a tearful smile and then switching into her serious tone as he answered.

Eden quickly wiped her tears away, pulling her phone out to text her husband. She completely zoned out on Evelyn speaking, but the word ‘pregnant’ stood out most to her. She was fully convinced her period had come a little later than usual.

She felt a tiny, chilly hand on her palm, the child bringing her back to the present. Evangeline was patting the back of her hand, resting her head against her shoulder.

“I’m okay, Eva.” Eden wiped her eyes again, putting on a smile that hurt to fake. “Your mommy is the best, right?”

She nodded, wrapping herself around her aunt's arm like a koala. She craned her neck to give her a kiss atop her head. She only texted Seokmin a couple sentences, keeping them as vague as possible so as to not worry him. She knew he was at practice and didn’t want to disturb him. Though, she wasn’t certain what she would do if someone came to find out there was something wrong with her.

Noah ran through the park to find them, a layer of sweat collecting on his face once he spotted the girls. At that point, Eden could barely walk without hugging her stomach, the stabbing pains getting worse as she moved. He had to carry her the rest of the way back to the car.

They had taken Eden’s car to the park, leaving only Noah to take Evangeline home. Evelyn drove her straight to the hospital and everything else was a blur between then and when they got to the emergency room. Her mind was running a thousand miles a minute, she didn’t remember Evelyn signing her in and doing most of the talking. She could only hone in on her pain and the what ifs of her circumstances. She started becoming more aware as soon as they asked if they could run a pregnancy test on her. Once they took her sample, she and her sister were led to a room and waited for a few minutes before they started doing her intake. The doctor came in shortly after to ask questions and examine Eden.

He pressed his hand down on her abdomen, feeling around until he reached her right side, feeling a pain so sharp and sudden, her vision was dotted and she screamed. It didn’t take much for her to start crying again.

He sighed, putting her shirt back down. “I’m gonna let them get an IV started on you now, but I think this is definitely an ectopic pregnancy. We’ll draw some blood on you too just to be sure, but if it is what I think it is, you’re gonna have to have emergency surgery so we can remove the egg.”

She stopped breathing for a second, her heart falling as she listened to him speak. Her eyes filled with tears, trying to keep herself composed. “I… I’m pregnant?”

He removed his gloves, walking over to the computer and pulling up her chart. “Your symptoms check out,” He paused before continuing. “Your urine test came back positive…”

“But I don’t understand.” Her voice faltered, her hands beginning to tremble.

Evelyn reached out to hold her hand, her own eyes glossing over.

“This isn’t a normal pregnancy. It’s ectopic, which means the egg is growing outside the uterus. It could be in your fallopian tube, outside it, your ovary, anywhere it’s not supposed to be. And I fear that with how severe your pain is, it’s about to rupture or has already ruptured. I know this is a lot of information to consume right now, but we need to operate as soon as possible because ruptures can be very life-threatening.”

Eden felt overloaded, trying to stay in the present, but she was stuck on the fact that she was pregnant. She was pregnant, but it wasn’t a pregnancy that she could see through to the end. She had no idea the entire time. And now she only had so many hours left to hold onto something that would soon be taken away from her.

“Eden.” Evelyn pulled her from her head, squeezing her hands. She turned towards her sister, her lips trembling as she clenched her jaw. “I’m so sorry.”

She choked down a sob, whispering to Evelyn. “Can you call Seokmin?”

“Of course. Whatever you need.” She leaned in to kiss her temple, patting her hand before getting up and excusing herself from the room.

As soon as she was alone, she lay back against the hospital bed, letting the tears fall down her face. She lifted the hem of her shirt, brushing her hand over the right side of her belly. She couldn't apply too much pressure, wanting to avoid the pain at all costs.

After some time, Evelyn came back into her room, grabbing her chair and scooting next to Eden’s bedside. “He’s on his way. I explained to him what’s going on.”

Eden blinked her tears away, letting her head fall back on the pillow. “Is he okay?”

Her sister stroked her hair, eyes softening but having no answer to give her. “I’m sorry.”

Her lips wobble, trying to keep her cries at bay as she forces out a whisper. “Why is this happening?”

Evelyn shakes her head, wiping a tear away with her thumb. “No one knows. It’s just something that happens to people like us.” She squeezes her shoulder. “But it’s not your fault, Eden. You know that, right?”

Eden covered her face with one hand, the dam breaking free as her body trembled. “What if it was? I mean—I had that wine a couple days ago, I’ve been learning choreography—what if I did this-”

Evelyn grabs her shoulders, calling her name strictly. “Eden, you did not do this. I’ve gone through it too.” Her voice rasps as her own tears overflow. Eden sobs, opening her arms as her sister takes her in for a hug. “I would’ve done anything to save it, but it’s just not possible.” She cries for her and her sisters’ losses, overwhelming stabbing pains taking over her.

The lights made her head spin, shutting her eyes as she gripped her sister through her sweater. Her entire body trembled, her stomach queasy as she felt enveloped in coldness. She inhaled sharply, her lungs on fire as she could feel the bile rise in her throat. She clapped her hands on Evelyn’s back, pushing her away. “I’m gonna be sick.”

“Oh!” She looked around their room, searching for the bags and pulling one out of its dispenser. “It’s okay, here.”

After handing it to her, Evelyn gathered all of her hair at her neck, gently rubbing circles on her back with her palm. She knew firsthand just how awful throwing up was, trying her best to comfort her through it and letting her know she wasn’t leaving. Eden emptied what little was in her stomach into the bag, and more tears forced themselves out of her eyes from the violent heaving. The pain in her belly worsened with each time the muscles contracted, forcing more up that she didn’t know she had.

A nurse entered the room, taking note of what was happening, and quickly closed the door. “I’m so sorry, sweetie.” The woman took a seat in the swivel chair, pushing over to the bedside and squeezing her ankles through the blanket.

Eden shook her head when she felt she was done, her ears ringing as she could barely hear the nurse ask if she could take the bag from her. The pain was excruciating, her vision blurry as she fell back against the bed, her sister and the nurses' voices echoing in the distance. She let the darkness envelop her completely.

The fluoroscents were burning through her eyelids, the sound of people talking muffled, unable to comprehend what anyone was saying. The beeping. The antiseptic smell. The unfamiliar voices in the room scared her, wanting to be aware of just who was with her. She attempted to open her eyes, forcing them shut and bringing her hand to her face.

The voice that was most familiar to her stood out, the bed dipping beneath her as she fought to open her eyes. “Eden, hey.”

She hummed, feeling her hand engulfed in warmth, kisses being placed on her skin. Everything was foggy.

“Hey, baby. I’m here.”

Her mouth felt gross, her throat sore, and her body heavy. She squinted her eyes, Seokmin coming into a blurry view as the lights shone from behind him. She saw him. The sight of him made her painfully aware of their circumstances. If he was here, then everything from hours before was real. It was happening, and it was happening to both of them.

“Is…it…over?” She mumbled slowly, everything aching as she tried to speak.

“Shh, you don’t have to talk.” He brushed her hair behind her ear, his voice soft enough for her to hear. “You fainted before I got here. But they’re doing everything they can to give you some relief while they wait for an OR to free up.”

She looked down at herself, the rough material of the hospital gown against her skin. An IV was in her hand, a pulse oximeter on her finger. Her hand shook as she dragged it to the spot on her right side. She winced once she felt the pressure, a sob racking its way up her throat. He took her hand away, squeezing it in his.

“It’s gonna be okay. Everything is gonna be okay, E.” He repeated to her, convincing not only her but also himself. “I love you. So much.”

She mouths the words back to him, too weak to speak before she’s overcome with grief. She swallows, eventually forcing herself to talk to him. “I didn’t know. I swear I didn’t know…"

“I know, baby." His voice wavered for a split second. She caught it. He took a breath, steadying himself before pressing on. “I know you didn’t.”

Her tears finally fell sideways into her hair, Seokmin quickly patting them away with the sleeve of his shirt. She raised her hand, bringing it to his face and focusing on him. She saw the faintest hint of wetness near his eyes, her heart shattering as her lips started to wobble.

“I’m sorry.” The words died in her throat, her trembling fingertips trying to wipe away his tears.

“No, shh…” He shook his head, standing from where he was sitting on her bedside and reaching down to press his lips to her forehead. “You have nothing to be sorry for, Eden. I love you so much—nothing’s ever gonna change that.”

She cried, hearing the doors slide back open to reveal a couple of nurses.

“We're ready to take her.”

Seokmin looked back, nodding and sniffling as he turned back to Eden, patting her hair down and grabbing her hand. “I love you, Eden. Everything’s gonna be fine, and I’ll be the first thing you see when you wake up, okay?”

The nurses worked around him, unhooking her from the machines and unlocking the bed.

She mouthed the words back to him, her grip on his hand tight and deadly. She didn’t want to let go. She was terrified. “Evelyn?”

“She’s in the waiting room. We’re not leaving.” He kisses her head, then brings her hand to his lips. “I love you.”

“I love you.” She spoke back, holding her eyes open as she looked at him. The nurses pushed her bed out of the room, feeling his fingertips slip from hers. Immediately, she felt the loss of contact and felt completely alone. Even with the nurses surrounding her and even all the other people in the building, she’d never felt so terrified.

He dragged his feet as the staff showed him out to the waiting room. The look on Eden’s face would be burned into his memory forever.

The waiting room was empty except for Evelyn, who sat slumped in a chair. She saw the little movement, looking up and seeing Seokmin approaching her.

She shot up, taking a deep breath as she clasped her hands together. “Did they take her? What’s going on?”

“They took her back.” He collapsed into one of the hospital chairs, eyes locked on the floor as he felt his emotions rush to the surface.

“Right. Good, good.” She nodded, taking her seat next to him. "Talk to me.”

Seokmin rested his elbows on his knees, covering his mouth with his palm. He shook his head, staring blankly as tears started to pool in his eyes. “She’s pregnant.”

Her hand snuck onto his back, rubbing softly to comfort him.

She pursed her lips, feeling herself start to cry again. “I’m so sorry, Seokmin.”

“Her face… She looked so scared.” He clasped his hands together, closing his eyes as his lip trembled. “I didn’t—I couldn’t do anything for her.”

“You’ve done all you could. We have to leave it to the professionals now, but you guys are gonna need each other after this.”