Therapuss with Jake Shane | favorite songs, LA life, dating and personal aches - part 1
katseye 7th member au
Isa and the girls being iconic in Therapuss with one of her besties
WARNINGS: so, babes, I'm splitting this episode into different segments because I want to be as detailed as possible, but I also don't want each post to be overwhelmingly long. hope you guys enjoy!
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When Isa was a trainee, one of her biggest fears about debuting wasn't singing, dancing or performing: it was interviews. It wasn't that she wasn't media trained, quite the opposite. She knew exactly how to answer questions, smile at the right moments and avoid saying anything that could become a headline.
The problem was that she never felt like herself unless she was speaking Portuguese. Everything else felt too translated.
Over the years, she learned how to compensate for it. She became quieter. More observant. She'd only speak when the question was directed at her, carefully choosing every word so she wouldn't sound cold, rude or misunderstood.
Then KATSEYE happened.
Debuting in a group that promoted primarily in English, under an environment far less rigid than she'd expected, slowly gave her permission to become herself instead of the polished alter ego she'd spent years believing the industry wanted.
So when Jake Shane, one of her closest friends outside the group, casually mentioned wanting KATSEYE on Therapuss, Isa practically moved mountains to make it happen.
Now, watching the girls slowly relax into the conversation, interrupt each other, laugh over old stories and expose one another every five minutes, she knew this was going to be one of those interviews fans would quote for years.
Isa smiled to herself before pulling one of the duvets higher over her legs, the air conditioning hitting her bare thighs just enough to make her shiver even if it was hot outside.Â
"So, tell me." Jake said. "Do you guys each have a favorite song to perform?"
Sophia started.
"I love MIA. I feel like we have the most freedom while performing it. Even if we have staging, we can move around more than just follow the choreography. I feel like Animal is giving that a lot too."
Isa, seated on the other end between Dani and Jake, nodded.
The next to answer was Yoonchae.
"I love performing Gameboy, especially at festivals, with the wind and everything. I know Lara doesnât really like it." she exposed, making the girls laugh.
"You donât like Gameboy?" Jake asked Lara.
"I love the song, I just donât really like the choreography." Lara defended herself. "Thereâs so much hopping and jumping."
"Itâs basically cardio." Isa chimed in.
Megan answered next, saying it was MIA as well. Lara agreed, followed by Dani, who added that she especially loved the dance break in Gnarly.
Jake looked around the couch, turning to Isa.
"And what's your favorite song to perform, Isa?" he asked.Â
"The ones I wrote." she answered without thinking.
The girls burst into laughter, Daniela playfully slapping her thigh.
"Oh, period." Jake snapped his fingers. "By the way, girl... you need to tell us how you come up with all these amazing songs. Like, are you kidding me? Mean Girls, Tonight I Might, My Way... who hurt you like that?"
Isa tilted her head back as she laughed.
"Thatâs because you donât even know her other songs!" Megan pointed out.
"She has some crazy shit." Lara agreed immediately.
"Tell them, Isa!" Sophia cheered.Â
"Hm, well..." Isa absentmindedly played with a strand of her pink hair, trying to think of an answer that wouldn't sound like she was bragging. "I don't know... it kind of just happens."
"No!" Lara protested. "Tell them the truth, IsabelĂ!"
Isa groaned, already knowing where this was going.
"Sheâs a natural lyricist, thatâs what happens." Lara continued. "You know Iconic By Mistake? Our collab with the ILLIT and LE SSERAFIM girls?"
Jakeâs eyes widened.Â
"You've got to be kidding me." Jake turned to Isa. "You wrote that too?"
"The chorus!" Isa immediately corrected. "And our verse."
Jake stared at her for a second.
"You just... keep casually dropping these bombs?"
Isa laughed.
"Well," she shrugged. "nobody really asked about it."
The girls burst into laughter once again.
"But, if you had to pick one." Jake leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "What's the song you're proudest of?"
Isa thought about it for a moment.
"I always get emotional with Mean Girls and Tonight I Might." she admitted. "They take me right back to when I wrote them. I remember exactly where I was, what I was feeling... everything." she smiled to herself. "And now we're playing them at festivals with thousands of people singing the lyrics back to us. We get to perform them exactly how we imagined they should feel when I first wrote them."
"Period." Megan mumbled proudly.
"No, because she's not telling the whole story." Sophia interrupted. "She literally cries every time we finish recording one of her songs."
Isa looked around the couch.
"I get emotional!"
"You cry." Lara corrected.
"I get emotional."
"You cry!" the other girls said together.
Jake laughed so hard he had to lean back into the couch.
"I must be honest with you..." he said, finally catching his breath. "The first time I heard Mean Girls, I was like âwhat the fuck is this beat?', and then I actually listened to the lyrics and I was like...â he threw both hands in the air. â'WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS LYRIC?'"
The girls immediately laughed and Isa buried her face in her hands.
"No, seriously." Jake continued. "It's one of those songs where I can't even explain what it makes me feel!"
The room grew quieter for a moment and Isa smiled at her friend.
"That was actually intentional."
Jake looked at her and she nodded.
"I wrote Mean Girls during Dream Academy, and one of the biggest things I actually still struggle with, and I think Sophia and Yoonchae might agree with me on this, is that when English isn't your first language..." she paused, looking at the two girls. "...it takes forever to explain what you're feeling."
Both Sophia and Yoonchae nodded immediately.
"You guys can sum up an emotion with one word." Isa continued. "I can't. I have to describe the whole situation before I finally go, '...so I guess I was sad?'"
The couch erupted into laughter.
"But because of that, I think I became obsessed with finding the right words, always." she leaned back into the couch. "So Mean Girls came from that. We had twenty girls living together, all from completely different backgrounds, trying to become the best version of ourselves while also dealing with... well, being eighteen, nineteen, twenty. There were days when I was probably the mean girl in somebody else's story. And there were people who were incredibly kind to me on days I probably didn't deserve it. I realized we're never just one thing. You can be somebody's heartbreak and somebody else's safe place at the exact same time."
Her voice softened and Jake and the girls simply stared at her.
"So I wrote Mean Girls specially like that, short and bitter, not so detailed, because I wanted people to get this feeling, you know? It's not a song you stop and try to find the meaning. If you get it, you get it." another small shrug. "Like, God bless us all. We're all going to mess up eventually. And, hopefully, we're all forgiven for it, too."
Lara started clapping, the girls following her and Isa laughing out loud by their sudden reaction.Â
"Thatâs our girl!" Daniela cheered.Â
"Oh, my God." Jake said, clapping. "Iâm sat for you Isa!"Â
Isa laughed even more, playfully slapping the boyâs arm.
"I donât even know how to continue the interview now." he said, making the girls giggle. He looked at one of his cards. "Hm⌠Iâve never asked this to this many people at the same time, but what are you therapissed about today?"
"Iâm therapissed about the traffic in L.A!" Daniela answered first. "Like, people donât know how to fucking drive here."
"Thatâs true, Iâll go with you in this one." Isa agreed, pointing at the girl. "I drove here once and never again. I can drive in like, fucking Seoul, friday, rush hour, but I canât deal with the L.A traffic. Thatâs why I keep Megan around." she joked, the girl showing her a middle finger.Â
The topic went on with the girls listing what made them mad about during the weeks. Lara said she parked next to her ex while he rapped to himself inside his car, making Isa mumble a soft âewâ. Megan said she had a bruise because of taking IV and how she hated dating and bounding over The Cure, with Jake.Â
"But I also think itâs really hard, in our situation, to date as if we were our age, if that makes sense." Lara said. "Like, play around, hook up with people and just figure things out. Weâre our age but our life makes it feel like weâre way older. So we kind of need someone who already has their shit figured out."
Sophia and Isa locked their gaze, and, while Isa tried to hide, Sophia left the loudest laughter she could.Â
"What happened?" Jake asked, confused.Â
"That bitch." Isa said, looking at Sophia as if she was mad.Â
Sophia put her hands up.Â
"I didnât do anything! I just laughed!" the girl tried to be sneaky.Â
"Are you into dating, Isa?" Jake asked.Â
"I donât think dating would be the perfect wording." Isa tried to explain, taking a deep breath. "But I like meeting people."
"And kissing them." Sophia complemented.Â
"Girl," Isa playfully looked at her. "shut the fuck up?!"Â
"Spill that tea, Sophia!" Jake said, laughing.Â
"All Iâm going to say is," Sophia made a suspense, making Isa look at her, freaking out about what was going to be said next. "she has kissed some interesting mouths. Next!"Â
The girls laughed out loud while looking at Isa.Â
"Interesting mouths?" Jake repeated.
Sophia immediately nodded.
"Very interesting."
Isa buried her face in the pillow.
"Sophia! Youâre saying too much!â
Jake looked between the two of them.
"Wait. Are we talking about celebrities?"
The entire couch exploded.
Isa shouted immediately, grabbing one of the cushions and throwing it straight at him. Jake caught it with a laugh.
"THAT REACTION TELLS ME EVERYTHING, ISABELI!â
"NEXT!"
"A SINGER?"
"JAKE."
"AN ATHLETE?"
Lara was laughing so hard she couldn't breathe.
"Girl, youâre not helping yourself.â Dani said.Â
Isa covered her face with the duvet.
"Can somebody mute him?"
Without missing a beat, Lara leaned over and gently patted the blanket where Isa's head was hidden.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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jaeinâs outfits and lines on the âSURFIN' BOY' MV
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LINES
0:19 - 0:23
Isn't it so beautiful?
0:34 - 0:036
Phew phew
My heart warms up again
1:28 - 1:45 (w/ Seulgi)
I need that surfin' boy (go with the flow, now)
Wash over me
With you beside me
We were filled with love
That summer, you and I (la, la)
2:02 - 2:05
We're all in this together
Let's go rock the boat
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LINES
0:26 - 0:36
You make the light and the shadows collide
Your body gets twisted and tangled in mine
Love so good, how could this be free?
I keep your secret safe with me (mm-mm)
1:05 - 1:18 (w/ YC)
I'll be gone by morning
So getcha, getcha heels on the floor then
So are you with me? (Are you with me?)
Be careful what you're wishing for 'cause I get freaky (mm-mm)
đ A/N I really really hope that this post doesn't come across as insensitive. But honestly I wrote this more for myself and I literally sobbed while writing it. It's why theres so many horrific spelling mistakes so apologies in advance for that! I just feel like I needed closure and honestly writing this has helped me come to terms with how I'm feeling about the situation and my future with Enhypen as a fan. And I really hope that it can do the same for you guys or at lease give you some sort of comfort and knowledge that no matter what your feeling. Your valid and safe here. But if you do feel like this is thoughless then PLEASE let me know and I'll take it down.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
â Live Streamingâ Interactive Chatâ Private Showsâ HD Qualityâ Free Actions
Free to watch ⢠No registration required ⢠HD streaming
đ A/N Oh my goodness I swaer this series has consumed my life lol. In the best way ofc but ugh this one was so hard for me to write idk why. I also chnaged the plot a little coz originally she was supposed to be speaking to Phuwin but after thinking about it it just made so much more sense to have the conversation be with the members instead. But some parts of this were driving me crazy because they just read awkwardly or are kinda boring but no matter what I did I just couldn't fix it... so I hope you guys still enjoy!!
Timeline: 2026
Now Playing: 22 (OVER SOON) by Bon Iver, We Hug Now by Sydney Rose, The Night We Met by Lord Huron, hapiness by Taylor Swift.
Word Count: 17.1K
"It might be over soon, two two."
The last three months pass through Lolaâs mind in pieces - not full memories, not full days, just fragments. Moments. Flashes. A life sheâs been moving through without ever really touching.
March bleeds into April, April dissolves into May, and she canât tell where one ends and the next begins. Time has stopped feeling linear. Itâs just⌠happening around her, dragging her along whether sheâs ready or not.
She remembers the first week after Heeseung walked out with a clarity that still stings. The shock. The ringing silence. The way the dorm felt too big and too small at the same time. The way she kept listening for footsteps that never came.
Every night she left her door unlocked. Every morning she woke up disappointed.
She remembers waking up with her heart racing, reaching for her phone before she was even fully conscious - muscle memory, instinct, hope she didnât want to admit she still had. Her thumb would swipe the screen, eyes blurry, breath held tight in her chest.
Nothing. No message. No missed call. No âIâm sorry.â No âHow are you?" No âI miss you.â
Just silence.
A silence that grew heavier each day, settling into her bones like cold.
She learned how to function without feeling. How to laugh without meaning it. How to sleep without dreaming.
But she never learned how to stop missing him.
Then rehearsals started.
Not gently. Not gradually. Not in a way that gave her time to breathe or process or even understand what had happened.
Two days after she arrived back in Seoul - just fortyâeight hours after Heseung left - she was back in the practice room. Same mirrors. Same speakers. Same choreography.
Except it wasn't the same and everything felt wrong.
His absence was everywhere. In the empty spot he used to stretch in. In the harmonies that sounded thinner without him. In the jokes the boys didnât make anymore. In the way no one said his name, even though they were all thinking it.
Schedules tightened immediately, like the company was determined to fill every second of her day so she wouldnât have time to fall apart. Tour prep swallowed her whole - hours of choreography, vocal warmâups, fittings, meetings, interviews, content shoots.
She learned how to move without thinking. Her body hit every beat, every count, every formation, because it had to. Because muscle memory didnât care that her heart was broken.
She learned how to smile without feeling. For staff. For cameras. For fans. For the boys, who watched her with quiet worry but didnât push.
She learned how to speak without letting her voice shake. During practice. During meetings. During fancalls - which started just three days after the breakup.
She sat in front of a ring light, makeup perfect, hair styled, smile soft and sweet, while fans told her they loved her, missed her, were proud of her. She nodded. She laughed. She waved.
And every time a fan asked about the group, about the boys, about how rehearsals were going, she felt something inside her twist - because she knew they were asking about him too, even if they didnât say it.
Five days after the breakup, she was on a plane to Australia.
Their first time there as a group. Jake's first time being back since he left. A milestone she can understand. A milestone they once imagined sharing with him.
Instead, she stared out the airplane window, numb, exhausted, watching clouds drift by like days she couldnât feel.
Australia was loud. Crowded. Bright. Fans screaming her name, lights flashing, music vibrating through her chest.
But she felt nothing felt right.
She performed like a ghost - flawless, precise, empty. The boys kept close, forming a quiet shield around her backstage, guiding her through the chaos without making it obvious.
Rehearsals. Stages. Makeup. Meeting rooms. Repeat. Work filled every inch of the space Heeseung left behind - not because it healed her, but because it didnât give her time to feel the wound.
She kept moving because stopping meant remembering. Stopping meant hurting. Stopping meant facing the truth she wasnât ready to touch.
So she didnât stop.
She learned how to live on autopilot. How to exist without existing. How to keep going even when she felt like sheâd been hollowed out from the inside.
The boys watched her quietly - not hovering, not smothering, just⌠present. They moved around her like they were afraid to disturb something fragile. They didnât ask about him. They didnât say his name. They didnât need to.
Heeseung's absence lived in the room with them, heavy and unspoken, like a ghost they all pretended not to see.
Some days she felt like she was floating above her own body - watching herself rehearse, watching herself laugh at jokes she didnât hear, watching herself sign posters and pose for photos and bow onstage like she wasnât hollow inside.
Sheâd see herself in the mirror during choreography and barely recognise the girl staring back. Her movements were perfect. Sharp. Clean. Professional.
But her eyes were empty.
Other days she felt nothing at all. No sadness. No anger. No longing.
Just⌠blankness. A quiet, heavy fog that wrapped around her and muted everything - sound, colour, emotion.
Nights were the worst.
Sheâd lie in bed, staring at the ceiling, listening to the hum of the air conditioner or the distant traffic or the boys whispering in the hallway - anything to fill the silence he left behind.
Sometimes sheâd reach for her phone without thinking, thumb hovering over the screen, waiting for a notification that wasnât coming.
She stopped checking after a while. Stopped waiting. Stopped hoping. Or maybe she didnât stop - maybe she just got better at pretending she had. Maybe she learned how to tuck the ache somewhere deep, somewhere quiet, somewhere she could ignore as long as she kept moving. Maybe she learned how to live with the silence instead of fighting it.
Tour began in April.
Stage after stage they all blurred together. Cities changed. Hotels changed. Crowds changed.
But she didnât.
Every night, the lights hit her like a wave - blinding, hot, overwhelming - and the roar of the crowd shook the floor beneath her feet. Fans screamed her name, held up signs, cried when she waved at them. The adrenaline shouldâve lit her up from the inside.
Instead, it pushed her forward even when her heart wasnât in it - like a current dragging her along.
She hit every mark. Every note. Every cue.
Her body moved flawlessly, muscle memory guiding her through choreography sheâd practiced a thousand times. Her voice never cracked. Her smile never slipped. Her timing never faltered.
To anyone watching, she looked perfect. Professional. Powerful. Alive.
But she didnât feel any of it.
Not the music vibrating through her chest. Not the cheers echoing in her ears. Not the heat of the stage lights. Not the rush of performing in front of thousands.
It all washed over her like water over stone - touching her, surrounding her, but never sinking in.
Some nights, sheâd stand in the wings before going onstage, staring at the crowd, feeling absolutely nothing. No nerves. No excitement. No joy.
Just a quiet, heavy numbness that sat in her chest like a rock.
And when the music started, sheâd step into the light anyway - because thatâs what she was supposed to do. Because the world kept spinning even when she didnât.
But despite everything... it wasnât all bad.
She wasnât sixteen anymore. She wasnât the girl who let numbness swallow her whole. Sheâd been through too much, learned too much, grown too much.
She knew how to manage the emptiness now - not perfectly, not gracefully, but intentionally.
Therapy helped. Talking helped. Letting herself feel nothing without judging it helped.
So she focused on the good - the small, fleeting, unexpected moments that reminded her she was still here, still alive, still capable of feeling something.
A member making her laugh so hard she snorted during practice. A lateânight convenience store run with the boys where they argued over ramen flavours. A quiet afternoon in the dorm where they all piled onto the couch to watch a movie and she fell asleep on someoneâs shoulder without realising.
They adjusted without discussing it.
Someone always stood beside her during formations. Someone always handed her water before she asked. Someone always cracked a joke a little softer, a little gentler, watching her out of the corner of their eye to see if sheâd smile.
Sometimes she did. Sometimes she didnât. Sometimes she didnât even notice they were trying - not because she didnât appreciate it, but because she was too deep in her own head to register anything outside of it.
Most of her time she spent writing. Making music. Producing. Composing. Itâs the only place she's ever truly been honest with herself - her diary, her journal, the one space where she doesn't lie or soften anything. So she poured everything into it. Hours and hours of writing, bleeding, trying to understand herself through sound because she couldnât do it any other way.
And she put time into herself when she could. She went to the cinema alone, letting the darkness and the sound swallow her for two hours. Played video games until her fingers cramped, losing herself in worlds where she didnât have to think. Saw her friends whenever schedules allowed - coffee dates, quick dinners, stolen hours that reminded her she wasnât alone.
She had sleepovers with the members when the nights felt too heavy. Theyâd drag blankets into the living room, order too much food, and fall asleep to some terrible movie none of them were actually watching.
Jayâs birthday arrived, and for the first time in weeks, Lola felt something loosen in her chest. The room was warm, loud, full of the kind of chaotic affection only they could create. And when Jay accidentally smashed the cake into his own face - frosting streaked across his cheek, eyes wide with startled betrayal. She laughed. For what felt like the first time in weeks.
Not a polite laugh. Not a forced one. A real one. Bright, unrestrained, bubbling up before she could stop it. For a moment, she looked like herself again.
Then there was St. Paddyâs Day in Australia. The streets buzzed with music and strangers and neon lights. She let herself be pulled into it, into the noise and the colour and the movement. She danced without thinking, drank just enough to feel the warmth settle into her bones, and allowed herself to have fun.
For a few hours, she wasnât grieving. She wasnât drowning. She wasnât trying to survive anything.
She was simply there - present, alive, letting the world hold her up instead of crush her.
There were always these little pockets of hope - tiny, bright moments that cracked through the numbness like sunlight through blinds. Moments that made her feel human again, even if only for a heartbeat.
But the sadness never fully left.
It sat quietly in the background, a soft ache she carried with her everywhere. Not overwhelming. Not consuming. Just⌠present.
A reminder of what sheâd lost. A reminder of who she still missed.
She was living. She was trying. She was growing.
But she was also grieving.
And both things were true at the same time.
And now itâs May.
Thailand. A new city. A new hotel. Another stop on a tour sheâs been sleepwalking through.
The elevator ride feels lighter than it has in weeks.
Lola leans against the cool metal wall, eyes still a little puffy, cheeks still warm from crying, but her chest⌠her chest feels different. Looser. Unknotted. Like something inside her finally unclenched.
Seeing Phuwin - someone completely outside the group, outside the company, outside the breakup - was exactly what she needed. She didnât have to pretend. She didnât have to be careful. She didnât have to worry about being a burden or making things awkward.
She just talked. And cried. And breathed.
And for the first time in sixtyâone days, she felt like herself again - even if only for a few hours.
He listened without flinching. Held her hand. Made her laugh. Reminded her she wasnât alone. Reminded her she wasnât broken. Reminded her she was allowed to feel everything sheâd been avoiding. It's one of the many things she loves about him.
By the time she stepped out of the warmth of his house, something in her had shifted. Her shoulders felt lighter. Not in a way she could point to, but in that subtle, unmistakable way that comes after finally exhaling a breath you didnât realise youâd been holding for months. It was as if sheâd been carrying a weight so familiar she no longer recognised it as heavy, and only now, after sitting with someone who listened without rushing her, had she finally set it down.
The night air didnât feel as sharp. Her chest didnât feel as tight. Her thoughts didnât feel as loud.
Now, walking down the hotel hallway, she feels tired in a good way. The kind of tired that comes after a long cry and a long talk and a long overdue release.
Sheâs excited to get into bed. Excited to sleep properly for once. Excited to wake up tomorrow without the ache sitting so close to her ribs.
She swipes her keycard, pushes open the door-
And freezes.
All of the boys are inside.
Not lounging. Not talking. Not on their phones.
Just sitting. Waiting.
Her room is dimly lit, the bedside lamp casting a soft glow over all of them - Jay on the edge of the bed, Sunoo crossâlegged on the floor, Jungwon leaning against the desk, Niki perched on the windowsill, and Jake and Sunghoon standing near the wardrobe like they aren't sure whether to sit or stay alert.
For a second, nobody says anything.
Lola blinks, confused, her hand still on the door handle. She looks from one face to the next, trying to understand why theyâre here, why theyâre all so quiet, why theyâre all looking at her like sheâs made of glass.
The silence stretches - not tense, not heavy, just⌠full. Full of concern. Full of questions. Full of something they donât know how to say yet.
She steps inside slowly, closing the door behind her.
Her heart picks up. Not in fear. Not in panic.
Just in surprise and a little bit of confusion. She wipes under her eyes instinctively, even though the redness is obvious.
Still, none of them speak.
Jayâs knee bounces restlessly. Sunooâs fingers twist in his sleeves. Jungwonâs jaw is tight. Jakeâs arms are crossed. Sunghoon looks like heâs trying not to pace. Nikiâs eyes are wide, darting between everyone.
No one speaks.
So she does.
âUhh... Whatâs going on?â letting out an awkward laugh. "What are you all doing here... How did you even get in?"
Jungwon exhales sharply - not angry, but absolutely not calm. âWe didnât know where you were.â
Lola frowns. âI told you I was seeing Win.â
Jayâs voice comes out sharper than he means it. âYou werenât answering your phone.â
âI didnât hear it,â she says, defensive without meaning to. âSorry. it must have been on silent.â
Jake runs a hand through his hair, frustrated. âWe called you. A lot.â
Sunooâs voice cracks. âYou were gone for hours.â
Lola blinks, momentarily stunned. The sight in front of her knocks the breath out of her chest. All of them gathered, all of them waiting, all of them watching her with a tension she wasnât prepared to face. She hadnât expected this. She hadnât expected every single one of them to show up. And she certainly hadnât expected the strange mix of emotions simmering beneath their concern.
It isnât just worry in their eyes. Itâs something sharper. Something heavier. Something that feels like frustration threaded through fear - the kind that comes from loving someone so fiercely that the thought of her hurting alone makes them ache.
She can feel it radiating off them: the confusion, the protectiveness, the quiet anger at the idea that sheâs been carrying something this big without them. It hits her all at once, leaving her disoriented, breathless, overwhelmed by the intensity of their presence.
âI mean⌠you knew where I was,â she says, trying to understand. âYou know where he lives. If you were really worried, you couldâve just messaged him or gone over.â
The reaction is immediate.
Jakeâs head snaps up. Jayâs eyes widen. Sunoo flinches. Jungwonâs expression hardens. Sunghoon's shoulders tense. Niki looks like she just said something dangerous.
Jake speaks first, voice tight. âLola⌠weâre not going to show up at someoneâs house because you couldn't answer your damn phone.â
Jungwon adds, sharper, âAnd weâre not even close with him.. he's you're friend not ours.â
Sunghoon steps forward, eyes tired. "It doesn't even matter you were supposed to be back an hour ago."
Jay cuts in, voice cracking. âWe just- We thought something happened.â
Niki whispers, âWe didnât know if you were okay.â
Lolaâs defensiveness falters. Because she finally sees it - really sees it.
This isnât just about tonight. This is about everything. Two months of watching her go numb. Two months of not knowing how to help. Two months of being scared to push too hard or not enough. Two months of insecurity and worry piling up until it finally bubbled over.
She looked at all of them - the tense shoulders, the tired eyes, the clenched jaws - and it hit her that they werenât just worried.
They were terrified. Not of her breaking. Not of her running. But of losing her in the silence the same way theyâd lost Heeseung.
Her voice softened instinctively. âI didnât mean to scare you.â Another apology slipped out, quieter this time. âIâm really sorry. I honestly didnât mean to worry you.â
But the words didnât land.
Jay let out a frustrated breath, rubbing his face. âYou keep saying that, but you donât seem to get it.â
Lola blinked, thrown off by the sharpness in his tone. âI do get it. I just said I understand that you were worried.â
Jakeâs voice came out harsher than he intended. âWe werenât just worried. We were scared for you LJ.â
Sunoo added, voice trembling, âAnd youâre acting like itâs not a big deal.â
Lolaâs shoulders tensed. âWhat? Iâm not acting like anything. I just⌠This has just escelated so fast... I don't even really know what's going on right now.â
And she meant it. She genuinely meant it.
Because from her perspective, this was coming out of nowhere. She understood why they were upset - of course she did - but the intensity felt dramatic, overwhelming, too much for a day where she was already exhausted and emotionally wrung out.
She had just walked through the door five minutes ago. Five minutes. And suddenly she was being confronted, cornered, hounded by six people she loved, all demanding explanations for something she hadnât even realised was happening.
Her confusion twisted into frustration.
They havenât even let me process anything. I havenât had a second to breathe. And now theyâre upset that Iâm not reacting the way they want me to?
She felt her jaw tighten.
It wasnât that she didnât care. It wasnât that she didnât take their concerns seriously. It was that she hadnât been given the chance to understand them yet.
For the boys, this had clearly been building quietly for weeks - whispered worries, shared glances, unspoken fears. But for Lola, it was sudden. Abrupt. A tidal wave she hadnât seen coming.
And now they were upset that she wasnât immediately matching their emotional intensity.
Her annoyance flickered again - small but sharp.
I just walked in the door. I didnât even know this was a problem. And now Iâm being made to feel like I did something wrong?
She swallowed hard, trying to keep her voice steady, trying not to snap, trying not to let the exhaustion of her day bleed into the moment.
But the truth was simple:
She was tired. She was overwhelmed. And she didnât understand why they were blaming her for something she hadnât even known existed.
Before Lola can get a word out, Sunghoon speaks first - his jaw tightening, voice already strained.
âYou can't just not answer your phone tiny.â
Lolaâs brows pull together, defensive without meaning to be. âWhat! Why are you guys acting like I've made this concious decscision to ignore you... I just didnât hear it,â she repeats. âI was talking. I wasnât checking my phone every five minutes.â
Jay drags a hand through his hair, pacing now, agitation rolling off him in waves. His movements are sharp, restless, like heâs trying to outrun the feeling clawing at his chest. His breath comes uneven, his jaw tight, his shoulders tense with the kind of fear that disguises itself as anger when it gets too big to hold quietly.
âAnd yet you're standing there acting like we're overreacting? Like we shouldnât be worried? That hurts.â
The words burst out of him - not loud, not cruel, but raw. Raw in the way someone sounds when theyâre finally admitting how scared they were.
He isnât angry at her. Heâs angry at the idea of her suffering alone. Heâs angry at the thought that she didnât think she could come to them.
His pacing isnât frustration with her. Itâs frustration with himself. With all of them. With the situation. With the fact that she stood there trying to act fine while her world was cracking open.
She stares at him, stunned. The words hit her harder than she expects, knocking her off balance in a way she canât hide. Jayâs frustration, the pacing, the sharpness in his voice. It all crashes into her at once, leaving her blinking, breath caught somewhere between her ribs and her throat.
âBro, what? Iâm not saying any of that. Iâm sorry I didnât answer my phone and I made you all worry.â
Her voice comes out softer than she intends, shaky around the edges. She takes a moment - a long, deliberate inhale - trying to calm herself, trying to steady the rising panic in her chest. She forces her shoulders to drop, forces her breath to slow, forces herself to listen instead of react.
Because something else is happening here. She can feel it. The tension beneath their words, the hurt beneath their panic, the way their emotions are spilling out sideways because they donât know how to express what theyâre actually afraid of.
She swallows, grounding herself before she speaks again.
âOkay, I feel like something else is going on here and youâre taking it out on me.â
The words are gentle, not defensive - an attempt to understand, not accuse. Sheâs trying to reach past the panic, past the frustration, past the sharp edges of their fear. Sheâs trying to see whatâs underneath it all.
The room goes still.
No one says anything for a moment - some of them realising sheâs right, others fighting it, clinging to their anger because it feels safer than admitting whatâs underneath.
Lola exhales, long and tired.
âDoes someone want to explain to me⌠calmly⌠whatâs going on? Because I donât think this is as simple as me not replying for a few hours.â
Even through her frustration, even through the exhaustion of her day, she can see it - the cracks in their voices, the panic behind their anger, the way their fear is sitting just under the surface.
Theyâre not mad about the phone. Theyâre mad about what the phone symbolises. Theyâre mad because theyâve been scared for weeks and never said anything.
And Lola, despite the sting of how they jumped down her throat the second she walked in, still feels that familiar pull inside her. The instinct to help, to soothe, to fix. Even hurt, even overwhelmed, even shaken by their reaction, her first impulse is to ease their minds.
Itâs who she is.
Itâs who she has always been.
She has spent years being the emotional buffer in the group - the one who absorbs tension, the one who smooths over conflict, the one who senses distress before anyone else notices it. She has always been the one who steps forward when someone is scared, the one who reaches out when someone is hurting, the one who tries to carry the weight so no one else has to.
Even now, even after their voices rose too quickly, even after their fear rushed out and cut her deeper than they meant to, she still wants to understand them. She still wants to make it better. She still wants to fix whatever this is.
Itâs not weakness. Itâs not submission. Itâs not her avoiding conflict.
Itâs love.
A fierce, loyal, selfless kind of love. The kind that makes her want to protect them even when sheâs the one who needs protecting. The kind that makes her want to soothe their panic even when sheâs shaking herself. The kind that makes her want to reach for them even when theyâve hurt her first.
She has always been the one who tries to hold the group together. She has always been the one who tries to keep everyone safe. She has always been the one who tries to fix the cracks before they become fractures.
And this moment is no different.
Even with her heart pounding, even with her throat tight, even with her emotions raw and exposed, she still leans toward them - not physically, but emotionally. She still tries to listen past the panic. She still tries to hear what theyâre really saying. She still tries to understand the fear beneath their frustration.
The boys look at each other. Waiting for someone to speak.
The argument is small, but itâs sharp - frustration layered over fear, fear layered over love. Voices arenât raised, but theyâre tight. Edges arenât cruel, but theyâre jagged.
Lola stands there, waiting patiently, waiting for someone to explain why theyâre all reacting like this.
And then Jungwon steps forward.
Not loudly. Not aggressively. Just with the quiet authority heâs always had - the kind that settles a room without needing volume.
âOkay,â he says, steady but firm. "You're right."
The words cut through the tension like a clean breath.
Jay stops pacing. Jakeâs shoulders drop. Sunooâs eyes flick to the floor. Sunghoon exhales. Niki uncurls his hands.
Lola freezes, unsure if she should speak or stay silent.
Jungwon looks around the room first - checking each member, grounding them - before turning back to her.
His voice softens, but the seriousness stays.
âWeâre not mad at you,â he says, voice steady in a way that makes her chest tighten. âNone of us are.â
Lola swallows, unsure whether to believe him, unsure whether she deserves to.
âWeâre sorry for snapping at you,â he continues. âBut⌠weâre upset.â
Her brows pull together. âUpset?â
He nods, slow and honest. âBecause youâre not talking to us.â
The words land heavier than she expects - like something placed gently in her hands but still too heavy to hold.
Jay shifts on the edge of the bed, rubbing the back of his neck. âWeâve been waiting... Giving you space hoping you would come to us... But you never do we've just watched you pull back for months. Not completely. Not like before. But enough that we feel it.â
Jake's voice is quieter, almost careful. âYouâve been retreating into yourself again. Not like dramatically or anything. Just⌠slipping away in small pieces.â
Sunoo's voice is small, almost fragile. âAnd we donât want to lose you like that. Not again. Not in that way.â
Sunghoon steps closer, expression gentle but tired, the kind of tired that comes from caring too much for too long. âWe know youâre not spiralling. We know youâre handling things better this time. We see the work youâre doing. Weâre proud of you for it.â
Niki nods, eyes wide and earnest. âBut youâre still hurting. Even if you think youâre hiding it well.â
Jungwon's voice is steady and calm, the anchor in the room. âAnd we want you to lean on us. The way we lean on you. The way we always have. Thatâs what weâre asking for.â
Lolaâs breath catches.
Because she hadnât realised. She truly hadnât. She hadnât noticed the distance forming, hadnât seen the quiet spaces she was leaving behind. She hadnât been consciously avoiding them - sheâd just been busy, overwhelmed, numb, trying to keep herself afloat in ways that felt private and necessary.
In her mind, theyâd had moments. Small conversations, shared exhaustion, quiet nods of understanding. Moments she thought counted as connection, as proof they were all navigating the same storm together. But clearly⌠that hadnât translated. Not to them. Not in the way she assumed.
âI⌠I wasnât trying to shut you out,â she says, voice barely above a whisper. Shock sits heavy in her chest, thick and disorienting. âI swear. I just⌠havenât had time to process anything myself. Never mind talk about it.â
She looks at them, really looks, and realises how much sheâs missed - the worry in their eyes, the tension in their shoulders, the way theyâve been watching her slip away in ways she didnât feel from the inside. She should have known. She should have seen it. But she didnât. And the guilt settles like a weight she didnât expect.
Jayâs expression softens, the tension in his shoulders easing. âWe know.â
Jake's nods, quiet but certain. âWe do.â
Sunoo wipes under his eye, the gesture small and aching. âBut it still felt like you were slipping away.â
Sunhoon adds, voice low and steady, âWe just didnât want to wait until it got worse... Not again.â
Jungwon finishes, placing a gentle hand on her back. âWeâre your family. We want to be part of your healing, not just the people watching from the outside.â
Lola stands there, stunned. Because clearly⌠those moments hadnât reached them the way she believed. What felt like connection to her had felt like absence to them.
Her voice comes out small, almost childlike. âI didnât know.â
Jungwon nods, steady and warm. âYou do now.â
And the room falls into a quiet that isnât tense anymore - just full, honest, human. But underneath that honesty sits something new: an awkwardness none of them quite know how to navigate.
The air feels different now. Not sharp. Not dangerous. Just⌠uncertain.
The room has finally settled - quiet, heavy, but calmer. Jungwonâs intervention pulled everyone back from the edge, and now theyâre all sitting, breathing, processing, trying to figure out what comes after a truth that big.
Lola sits on the bed, hands folded in her lap, still stunned by everything theyâve said. She can feel all of them around her - close, present, wanting to stay - but the argument has left a thin layer of awkwardness between them, like a film no one knows how to wipe away.
The silence stretches, not hostile, just hesitant. They want to speak. They want to reach for each other. They want to return to the ease they usually have. But no one knows what the first step should be.
Jay keeps glancing at her, opening his mouth like he might say something, then closing it again. Sunoo fiddles with the hem of his sleeve. Niki shifts his weight, foot tapping lightly against the floor. Sunghoon exhales slowly, as if trying to steady the atmosphere. Jake looks at the ceiling, then at Lola, then at the floor. Jungwon watches her with soft eyes, waiting for the moment the tension breaks.
Theyâre all here. Theyâre all staying. They just donât know how to move forward yet.
And Lola feels that - the awkwardness, the care, the wanting - all of it pressing gently around her.
Then Jake clears his throat, trying to fill it.
âSo⌠what did you do at Win's place?â
Itâs innocent. Itâs awkward. Itâs meant to ease the tension - a small question offered gently, hoping to bridge the gap between them.
But Lola hesitates.
Not because she wants to lie. Not because she wants to hide anything. But because sheâs suddenly terrified of saying the wrong thing, of accidentally reopening wounds theyâve only just managed to close. She doesnât want to make things worse. She doesnât want to misstep again.
And yet⌠she knows honesty is the only way forward now.
Her throat tightens, but she forces herself to speak.
âI⌠talked to him,â she says quietly. âAbout how Iâve been feeling.â
The words feel fragile leaving her mouth, like sheâs placing something delicate in the middle of the room and hoping they handle it gently.
But the reaction is instant.
Jayâs head snaps up. Sunoo's mouth falls open. Niki flinches like someone's tapped on his bruise. Sunghoon's shoulders tense, the calm heâd just found slipping. Jake's expression twists, hurt folding into frustration. Jungwon closes his eyes for a moment, steadying himself before he speaks.
The frustration that had only just settled flares right back up - not explosive, not cruel, but sharp enough to sting.
Jay speaks first, voice tight. âLola, come on.â
She blinks, startled. âWhat?â
Jake's tone is sharper now - a tone he almost never uses with her. âThis is exactly what weâre talking about.â
Nikiâs voice cracks. âYouâre talking to other people about our issues instead of talking to us.â
Lolaâs brows knit, confusion and guilt tangling together. âItâs not- I wasnât trying to-â
Sunghoon cuts in, not angry but undeniably upset. âWeâre right here. Weâve been right here for months.â
The room shifts again. Not hostile, but wounded. The air feels heavier, quieter, thick with the kind of hurt that doesnât lash out but sinks inward. Theyâre not yelling. Theyâre not attacking. Theyâre hurting.
And Lola feels that hurt hit her all at once - sharp, sudden, overwhelming. It lands in her chest like a weight she didnât see coming.
She thought she was giving herself space. They thought she was slipping away.
She thought she was handling things privately. They thought she was shutting them out.
Two different realities collide in the middle of the room - hers and theirs - crashing together with the force of everything theyâve never said aloud.
And Lola stands in the middle of it, finally understanding the truth she missed
Jungwon's voice is low and controlled, the kind of calm that comes from trying very hard not to let emotion spill over. âWeâre not saying you canât talk to your other friends. But youâre telling him things you havenât told us.â
Jay runs a hand through his hair, pacing again, agitation returning like muscle memory. âWeâre the ones who see you every day. Weâre the ones whoâve been worried sick. Weâre the ones whoâve been trying to help.â
Jake adds, sharper than before, âAnd youâre telling him instead of us.â
Sunoo wipes under his face, frustrated and hurt. âIt feels like you donât trust us.â
Lolaâs breath catches. âThatâs not true at all... Of course I trust you!â
Sunghoon steps forward, eyes tired in a way that makes her chest ache. âThen why didnât you talk to us?â
She opens her mouth, closes it, tries again - because she can feel the weight of their disappointment pressing against her ribs.
âI⌠I don't think it's that simple.â
Jay stops pacing, staring at her. âErm... Yeah, it is that simple. actually. You just open your mouth, and you talk.â
âNo, actually,â Lola says, voice small but firm. âItâs not.â
The boys freeze - not in anger, but in surprise. Her pushback is gentle, but itâs real. And it shifts the air again.
She swallows, trying to explain without making it worse, trying to untangle the knot inside her chest long enough to show them what she means. Because she didnât choose someone else over them. She didnât trust him more. She didnât shut them out on purpose.
And now sheâs standing in the middle of their hurt, trying to find the right words to bridge the gap she never meant to create.
âYouâre all part of this,â she says softly, voice trembling with the effort to make them understand. âThe tour. The schedule. The silence. The worry. The⌠everything. Youâre in it with me. And I didnât want to dump more on you when youâre already dealing with your own stuff.â
She isnât defensive. She isnât hiding. Sheâs pleading - gently, quietly - for them to see her heart the way she sees theirs.
Jake's expression softens, but the frustration stays beneath it like a low hum. âGod. How many times, LJ... We want you to dump it on us.â
Sunoo nods, eyes glossy, shoulders tight. âWe want to help.â
Jungwon's voice is steady, grounding, the anchor sheâs always relied on. âWeâre not upset that you talked to him. Weâre upset that you didnât talk to us.â
Sunghoon adds, âWe are your family. Weâre supposed to carry this together.â
Lolaâs breath shakes. She feels the weight of all their eyes, all their hurt, all their love - and she wants so badly to fix it, to reach them, to make them understand she never meant to leave them in the dark.
âI wasnât trying to shut you out,â she says quietly. âI just⌠needed to talk to someone who wasnât part of all this. Someone who wasnât watching me every day. Someone who wasnât scared of me slipping up.â
Jayâs expression cracks, the frustration slipping into something raw. âWeâre not scared of you. We're scared for you... Because we care, dumbass.â
Niki nods, voice barely holding steady. âWe already lost one person.â
The words strike her immediately. Not as cruelty, but as truth delivered with too much force for her heart to absorb all at once. They land in her chest like a sudden jolt, a shock that ripples through her before she can steady herself. Itâs not the sharpness of the comment that stuns her, but the accuracy of it - the way it cuts straight to the part of her sheâs been avoiding, the part sheâs been afraid to name.
She looks at them - the constants in her life, the last anchors she has left in a world that has never stopped shifting beneath her feet - and something fierce rises in her chest. Not panic. Not fear. But a desperate, aching urgency. A need so sharp it almost hurts.
It isnât desperation born from fear of losing them. Itâs desperation born from wanting to grow with them. Wanting to evolve together. Wanting to step into the next chapter without leaving anyone behind.
She loves them enough to tell them the truth. She loves them enough to risk discomfort. She loves them enough to let the bond change instead of letting it break.
She needs them to understand. She needs them to stay. She needs them to see that she wasnât choosing someone else - she was just trying to survive.
Sunoo whispers, barely holding himself together, âWe donât want to lose you too. We canât.â
The room falls silent again - but this time it isnât sharp or defensive. Itâs honest. Raw. Human. A silence shaped by fear and love sitting right beside each other.
And Lola finally understands the gravity of what theyâve been carrying. The months of watching her withdraw, the quiet panic of seeing her slip into old patterns, the helplessness of not knowing how to reach her.
The atmosphere is still tight - not explosive, but fragile, stretched thin by emotion thatâs been building for months. The boys are upset again, voices edged with fear disguised as frustration, because they think she still doesnât understand why theyâre hurting. Theyâre not angry at her. Theyâre scared for her.
Lola sits there, stunned, overwhelmed, her mind scrambling for the right words - something that will soothe, something that will explain, something that will show them she does care, that she does see them, that she never meant to make them feel shut out.
And then she exhales - slow, shaky - gathering every ounce of courage she has left.
Finally, she speaks.
âGuysâŚâ she lets out a long, uneven sigh. âThis is the first time since⌠everything happened that Iâve actually let myself feel anything.â
The room stills.
Sunghoon's shoulders drop a little. Jake's arms uncross. Sunoo's eyes soften. Jay stops pacing midâstep. Niki leans forward, breath held. Jungwon watches her carefully, like heâs afraid she might break if he looks away.
She continues, voice quiet but steady - the kind of steady that comes from holding herself together by the thinnest thread.
âWith tour⌠rehearsals⌠meetings⌠travel⌠I havenât had time to process anything. I havenât had time to deal with it. Iâve been moving nonstop since the night he left. Iâve been performing, flying, smiling, working. I havenât had a second to breathe.â
Her voice wavers.
âEven when Iâm in therapy I feel like Iâm going crazy because I have absolutely no idea how to describe the pain Iâm in.â
She swallows hard, throat tight.
âAnd today was the first time I stopped long enough to feel it. It was the first time that⌠I felt safe enough toâŚâ She sighs again - this one sharper, frustrated with herself. âTry. I guess.â
The boys exchange looks - not angry now, but confused, hurting, trying to understand the depth sheâs finally revealing. Theyâre seeing her clearly for the first time in months, and it scares them. It scares her too.
Lola takes a breath, gathering herself.
âAnd I need you to hear this without getting upset again.â
They nod, slowly - cautious, attentive, bracing themselves.
She continues.
âYou all have places you can go,â she says softly, desperation threading through every word. âPeople you can talk to. Partners you can stay with. Homes outside the group. You have support systems that exist beyond this room.â
She shakes her head, voice trembling. âIâm not saying your pain isnât real. I would never compare your feelings to mine. And Iâm not trying to erase anything youâve been dealing with.â
Her voice wavers - not from fear, but from the sheer weight of what sheâs about to say.
âBut I didnât just lose a friend. Or a coworker. Or a roommate.â
She meets their eyes one by one, making sure they see her, really see her.
âI lost my partner. The love of my life. I lost everything. And Iâve been trying to figure out how to live without him.â
The room goes silent - heavy, stunned, aching - as if the air itself is holding its breath.
Because it wasnât just him she lost. It was the life she had built around him - the quiet safety of knowing where she belonged, the way her world had shape and meaning simply because he was in it. His presence had been a compass, a rhythm, a way of existing. And when he left, that entire structure collapsed.
She felt his absence constantly. Not in a dramatic way - but in the small, relentless moments that made up her days. It was like losing a limb: something that should be there, something her body still expected, something her mind still reached for. Every movement reminded her of what was missing. Every breath felt slightly offâbalance.
She was grieving someone who wasnât dead. Someone who was still out there, living, breathing, laughing, existing - just not with her. Not for her. And that was its own kind of cruelty. Because everywhere she looked, everything she touched, every routine she tried to rebuild, was another reminder that he wasnât hers anymore. That the life she had imagined with him had evaporated overnight.
She carried that grief like a storm trapped inside her chest. Trying to describe it felt impossible - like trying to explain the wreckage while still standing in it. There were no words big enough, no metaphors strong enough, no language capable of holding the enormity of what she had lost. Some experiences were simply too devastating to articulate, too raw to name, too sacred in their pain to speak aloud.
And she had been living with that silence for months.
The boys stare at her - not angry now, not frustrated - just hurting with her, finally understanding the depth sheâs been drowning in.
Her voice cracks, thin and breaking at the edges.
âItâs so fucking stupid,â she whispers, âbut sleeping alone for the first time in three yearsâŚâ
Jay looks away, swallowing hard, jaw tightening like heâs trying not to show how much that hurts to hear.
âAnd trying to remember my inhaler or my medication,â she continues, voice trembling, âbecause he always packed my bag for me.â
Sunoo brings his hand to his eye, blinking fast.
âHaving to make my own meals when I get home late,â she says, breath hitching, âbecause he always cooked.â
âDriving myself to the studio instead of being driven.â
She shakes her head, overwhelmed by the avalanche of tiny losses.
âHe was in everything,â she says. âEvery routine. Every habit. Every part of my day. And I didnât even realise how much until he wasnât there.â
She looks at them - really looks - her voice barely above a whisper now, fragile and honest.
âSo if I didnât notice all those tiny things⌠why would you?â
The room goes still again, the boys staring at her with a mix of heartbreak and dawning understanding - because this isnât just grief over a breakup. Itâs grief over a life that vanished overnight. A way of existing that was ripped away. A person who is still alive but no longer hers.
The boys freeze - because sheâs right. Because they didnât see the small losses. Because they didnât understand the depth of her grief. Because they were watching the surface while she was drowning underneath.
Jungwon's expression breaks first - soft, devastated, understanding in a way that makes Lolaâs heart hurt.
Jake wipes his face, eyes red. Sunoo sniffles. Jay looks like heâs fighting tears. Sunghoon's jaw trembles, the emotion finally catching up to him. Nikkiâs eyes shine, wide and hurting.
Lola finishes, voice trembling but honest, the truth spilling out of her in a way she canât stop.
âIâm not shutting you out. Iâm not choosing anyone over you. Iâm not trying to hurt you. Iâm just⌠trying to relearn how to exist. And today was the first time I let myself feel how hard thatâs been.â
The room falls into a silence that isnât tense anymore. Itâs full. Itâs real. Itâs the truth theyâve all been avoiding - the truth sheâs been carrying alone.
The quiet settles again. Not sharp, not explosive, just heavy with everything thatâs been said, everything thatâs been revealed, everything they didnât know.
Lola sighs, rubbing her palms together, grounding herself before she continues. Because sheâs not done, and they need to hear the rest.
âLook⌠I know we talk to each other,â she says softly. âI know we lean on each other when we can. But you also keep to yourselves. All of you.â
The boys shift, subtle but telling - because they know sheâs right.
âAnd you all have partners now,â she adds gently. âPeople you subconsciously go to when things get hard. People you can stay with. People who distract you. People who make you feel safe.â
She lifts her shoulders slightly, not accusing - just stating a truth sheâs observed quietly for months.
âI donât hold that against you. If anyone understands what thatâs like⌠itâs me.â
The boys soften. Because they know she isnât wrong, and because they know sheâs speaking from experience, not resentment.
âAnd Iâm happy for you,â she continues. âReally. Iâm happy you all finally have people you can lean on and open up to. As your friend, your happiness is all I can ever wish for you.â
Her voice wavers, but she keeps going, gentle but firm.
âBut itâs a little unfair to be mad at me for not talking to you⌠when I havenât really had the chance.â
She looks around the room, meeting each of their eyes, making sure they hear her - really hear her.
âYouâre not doing anything wrong,â she says. âYouâre just living your lives. Youâre building relationships. Youâre finding comfort. And I love that for you.â
She swallows, breath trembling.
âBut Iâve been alone in a way none of you have. And Iâm not blaming you for that - Iâm just asking you to understand why itâs been harder for me to reach out. And a little patience while I try and figure everything out.â
Lola keeps going, gentle but firm, her voice threading through the room like something fragile and necessary.
âMost of the time, Iâm the only one at the dorm,â Lola says softly. âAnd when you are home⌠youâre with your partners. Which is fine. Iâm not complaining. Iâm not asking you to change anything.â
She shakes her head, overwhelmed by the truth sheâs finally saying out loud.
âBut youâre upset that I didnât talk to you⌠when you werenât really there to talk to in the first place.â
The boys freeze - because sheâs right. Because they didnât see it. Because they didnât realise how alone sheâs been in the quiet moments, in the spaces between rehearsals, in the nights where the dorm echoed with nothing but her own breathing.
She continues, voice soft but steady, the kind of steady that comes from months of holding herself together alone.
âEveryone is dealing with this in different ways. I get that. And thatâs good.â
Her eyes shine, but she doesnât cry - sheâs past crying. Sheâs in that numb, aching place where tears donât even come anymore.
âIâm just⌠confused.â
The boys look at her and for the first time they see how tired she is. Not just physically. Emotionally. Mentally. The kind of tired that settles into your bones and makes everything feel heavier.
âI canât even begin to understand how Iâm feeling,â she admits. âI donât have the words yet. I donât have the clarity. I donât have the space.â
She exhales, shoulders sinking, the weight of months pressing down on her.
âAll I know is that Iâm exhausted.â
The room shifts. Not with tension, but with something quieter, older, familiar. A nostalgia none of them say out loud. A yearning for the past - for when they were younger and smaller and scared, and they went to each other for everything. For the nights they slept on each otherâs beds. For the mornings they shared blankets and hoodies. For the years when all they had was each other, and that was enough.
They all feel it - that ache for the version of themselves who didnât have partners, or schedules, or separate lives. The version of themselves who clung to each other because they were all they had.
And Lola feels it too. She misses them. She misses the closeness. She misses the simplicity of loving them without the world pulling them in different directions.
She isnât asking them to go back. She isnât asking them to choose her over their partners. She isnât asking them to change their lives.
Sheâs just asking them to understand why sheâs been so alone.
She looks at them, eyes soft, voice barely above a whisper.
âIâm trying. I really am. But Iâm tired. And Iâm doing my best with what I have.â
The boys are quiet now. Not angry. Not defensive. Just listening, really listening.
Lola takes a slow breath, her voice soft but steady.
âIâm mourning my relationship with E,â she says. âIâm grieving the life I thought I was going to have.â
The words land heavy. No one moves. No one breathes too loudly. Itâs the kind of truth that rearranges the room.
âAnd Iâm reâlearning how to survive without the safety of this group.â
Her voice trembles, but she keeps it controlled - because she needs them to hear her clearly, not through panic or guilt.
âYou guys⌠you have people now. You have homes outside this one. You have places to run to when things get hard.â
She swallows, eyes shining.
âBut I donât. Not anymore.â
The boys' shift - small movements, barely noticeable, but full of emotion. A shared ache. A shared nostalgia. A shared longing for the past.
Lolaâs voice softens even more.
"None of this is to blame you or make you feel bad,â she says. âIâm just⌠trying to explain why Iâve been so quiet. Why Iâve been so distant. Why itâs been so hard to reach out.â
She exhales, shoulders sinking under the weight of months of silence.
The room absorbs her words - heavy, honest, real - and the boys finally see her clearly, not as the strong one, not as the resilient one, but as someone who has been trying to rebuild herself from the ground up with no one to lean on.
âI spent so much of my life alone,â Lola says, voice thin, trembling. âCompletely alone. And when I finally had a family⌠I clung to it with everything I had.â
The boys donât move. They donât breathe. They just watch her.
âI used to lie awake at night terrified,â she continues. âBecause having something meant the possibility of losing it. And after everything Iâd been through, this-â she gestures gently toward all of them "was the one thing I couldnât lose.â
Their expressions break - softening, cracking, folding inward.
âThat love. That family. That safety.â Her voice wavers. âIt was everything to me. For so long it was all I had.â
She swallows hard, breath shaking.
âAnd then all of a sudden⌠my worst nightmare came true.â
Silence drops over the room - thick, still, devastating. The kind of silence that feels like grief itself.
âI had absolutely no idea how to process that loneliness again,â she whispers. âNot without falling apart. Not without letting it consume me.â
Jakeâs eyes shine. Sunoo wipes his cheek, giving up on hiding his tears. Jay looks away, jaw tight. Sunghoon bites down on his lip. Nikiâs hands shake. Jungwonâs expression cracks - just slightly, but enough.
Lola keeps going because she has to - because once you open a wound this deep, you canât stop halfway.
âThis breakupâŚâ she breathes, âit didnât just hurt. It's reshaped me. It's broken pieces I didnât know could break. It's chipped away at parts of me I thought were solid. It changed who I am. Who I thought I was.â
Her voice trembles, but she doesnât stop.
âI didnât just lose him. I lost the version of myself I was when he loved me. I lost the future I thought I was walking toward. I lost the safety of knowing someone was always there.â
She shakes her head, overwhelmed.
âAnd now Iâm trying to adjust to a life that feels wrong. A life that feels too big. Too empty. Too unfamiliar.â
The boys stare at her - devastated, understanding, hurting with her.
âIâm not just grieving him,â Lola says, voice barely holding together. âIâm grieving the version of myself I was with him. The routines. The safety. The certainty.â
Her voice softens, almost breaking.
âIâm grieving the mornings when he woke me up because I always slept through my alarms. The nights where he made sure I'd eaten or had enough water throughout the day. The way he packed my bag because he knew Iâd forget my medication. The stupid little jokes he made when I was stressed.â
She shakes her head, overwhelmed by the avalanche of memories.
âHe was in everything. Every part of my day. Every part of my life. And I didnât even realise how much until he wasnât there.â
The boys look shattered - not because sheâs hurting, but because they finally understand the depth of her loss. The magnitude.
âSo when you ask why I didnât talk to you,â she says softly, âitâs because I didnât even know what I was feeling. I didnât notice half of these things myself. So why would you?â
The room goes still - not tense, not angry, just full of the truth theyâve been missing.
âSo honestly Iâm not shutting you out,â she finishes. âIâm not trying to hurt you and I hate that I've made you feel like that. But I guess Iâm just⌠trying to survive something I never thought Iâd have to survive.â
She exhales, exhausted - the kind of exhaustion that comes from grief that reshapes a person, grief that chips away at who they thought they were.
âAnd Iâm tired,â Lola whispers. âIâm so tired.â
The boys donât speak. They donât argue. They donât defend themselves.
The room is still. The air feels different now - not tense, not sharp, just heavy with truth and the ache of everything theyâve missed.
Sunghoon is the first to move.
He crosses the room without hesitation - not a single pause, not a single moment of doubt. The movement is instinctive, almost urgent, like his body decides before his mind can catch up. He climbs onto the bed behind her, settling in close, close enough that she can feel the warmth of him before he even touches her.
His arms wrap around her from behind, gentle but firm, circling her in a way that feels protective rather than possessive. His chin comes to rest on the crown of her head, a familiar weight, grounding her instantly. Itâs a gesture heâs done a thousand times, but tonight it carries a different kind of meaning. Softer, heavier, full of everything he hasnât said.
âI know,â he murmurs, voice thick. âIâm sorry. We should have seen. Itâs no excuse.â
The apology isnât rushed. It isnât defensive. Itâs honest.. He presses a soft kiss to the top of her head, the kind of kiss that isnât romantic, but deeply human. Grounding. Protective. Familiar. A promise in the form of touch.
âBut weâre here now,â he says quietly. âWeâve got you.â
The words settle around her like a blanket - warm, stead and safe. His arms tighten just slightly, enough to let her know he means it. Enough to let her lean back without thinking. Enough to remind her that even though everything is changing, even though theyâre all growing up, even though the bond is evolving, the love hasnât gone anywhere.
In that moment, his presence behind her becomes more than comfort. It becomes reassurance. It becomes apology. It becomes acceptance. It becomes the quiet, unwavering truth that she is not alone - not now, not in this, not ever.
The others move too - like something old and sacred pulling them forward.
Jay sits at her side, knee touching hers. Jake settles near her feet, hand resting lightly on hers, cheek settling softly on her thigh. Niki curls in close, forehead resting on her shoulder. Sunoo and Jungwon lean in from the floor, hands resting on the blanket near her legs.
Itâs messy and cramped and uncomfortable - elbows digging into ribs, knees knocking together, someoneâs foot definitely in the wrong place.
But none of them care.
They need it. All of them. The closeness. The warmth. The physical touch theyâve been yearning for without even realising it.
For a moment, it feels like years ago - when they were younger and smaller and scared, and they piled onto one bed because the world felt too big and they only had each other.
Lola takes a slow breath, her voice softer now, but steadier than before.
âSometimes I just get hit with this⌠horrible, devastating reality,â she murmurs, voice barely holding together. âThat life goes on.â
The words land heavy - heavier than anything sheâs said tonight.
âThe world keeps spinning. People keep moving. Schedules keep filling. And just because my world is falling apart⌠doesnât mean the rest of the world stops with me.â
She shakes her head, not bitter, just honest in a way that hurts.
âSo I get up. I dust myself off. And I carry on.â
Her eyes lift, tired but clear.
âThatâs the difference between me and everyone else,â she says quietly. âMy inability to let something destroy me.â
She isnât bragging. She isnât posturing. Sheâs stating a truth she learned the hard way - the kind of truth carved into her bones.
âNo matter what happens⌠I always get back up. Because I have to.â
Her voice doesnât shake. It doesnât break. Itâs steady - painfully steady, the kind of steadiness that comes from surviving things no one should have had to.
âAnd trust me sometimes I want to but I will never let something get that close to killing me. Not now. Not ever again.â
The boys stop - because they know she means it. Because theyâve seen her survive things she never should have had to. Because theyâve watched her rebuild herself more times than they can count.
And without even thinking, they all inch closer. Bodies pressing in, shoulders touching, knees bumping, hands brushing against her arms and legs. Letting her feel their support through their bodies. Letting her know she isnât alone in this moment, even if sheâs been alone in so many others.
Sunghoon tightens his hold around her shoulders. Jay leans in until their foreheads almost touch. Jake gives her hand a squeeze, gently playing with her fingers as she speaks. Sunoo curls closer, cheek damp. Niki nudges her side gently. Jungwon shifts until his shoulder is pressed against her back.
They donât speak. They donât interrupt. They donât try to fix it.
They just stay close - messy, tangled, imperfect - but present.
Lola takes a slow breath, her voice softer now, but steadier than before.
The boys sit in stunned silence, absorbing everything sheâs said. The grief, the loneliness, the exhaustion, the survival. But Lola isnât finished.
She takes a shaky breath, her voice quieter now, but sharper around the edges.
âAnd Iâm angry. Jesus, Iâm so fucking angry.â
The words hit the room like a shockwave.
The boys look up - startled, confused - because angry is not a word anyone has ever used for Lola. Anger has never been part of her vocabulary. She has always been gentle, patient, soft-spoken, the one who diffused tension rather than created it.
But now she continues, and the truth spills out of her in a way that feels new, unfamiliar, frightening even to herself.
There were so many words people used to describe her - calm, kind, steady, resilient - but angry was never one of them. It simply wasnât who she was. You could count on one hand the number of times theyâd seen her mad. It wasnât in her nature. She didnât lash out. She didnât explode. She didnât break things.
But this⌠this had changed her so deeply at her core that she was being rewritten from the inside out.
âBut this⌠this has hurt me so much that Iâm feeling things Iâve never felt before.â
She looks down at her hands - clenched around Jake's without her noticing, knuckles white, fingers trembling. Anger sits in her palms like something foreign, something she doesnât know how to hold.
It isnât loud. It isnât violent. It isnât destructive.
Itâs grief wearing a different face. Itâs heartbreak turned inside out. Itâs the kind of anger born from devastation, from losing something that once felt like a permanent part of her life.
The boys watch her, shattered themselves. They inch closer, instinctively, letting their bodies speak where their words fail - a silent promise that theyâre here, that they see her, that they wonât let her face this alone.
âIt stripped me of everything valuable and left me with the ugly parts.â
Her voice trembles.
âThe anger. The frustration. The exhaustion. The bitterness. The jealousy.â
She shakes her head, overwhelmed.
âIâm so angry.â
The words hit the room like a crack in the foundation - sharp, unexpected, almost foreign coming from her. The boys donât move. They donât speak. They just listen, finally understanding how deep this goes.
Lolaâs voice stays quiet, but the truth inside it is enormous.
âIâm angry at Heeseung for leaving me,â she says. âBut then Iâm angry at myself for not really being angry at him.â
A few of the boys flinch - not from her words, but from the honesty in them.
âBecause I understand why he did what he did. And I love him too much to ever truly hate him.â
That line breaks something in the room.
âIâm angry at the media,â she continues. âFor making me and all of you feel used and violated.â
The boys react in small ways - the kind that say everything without words.
âIâm angry at the anonymous people online,â she says. âFor spreading rumours and hate about me again.â
âIâm angry at this useless fucking company.â
The boys freeze - because they feel that too. Because the company has shaped them, saved them, hurt them. Because theyâve all been bruised by decisions made far above their heads. Because they know exactly what she means without her having to explain.
Jayâs eyes flicker with betrayal he never voiced. Jake's fingers curl into her own, knuckles white. Nikiâs breath stutters, remembering nights he cried alone. Sunghoon's chest rises sharply, protective instinct flaring. Sunoo leans closer, needing her to feel heâs there. Jungwon's expression cracks - soft, devastated, furious on her behalf.
They donât interrupt. They donât try to fix it. They donât try to soften it.
They just sit with her anger - the anger she never lets herself feel, the anger she never shows, the anger born from grief so deep it reshapes a person.
âIâm angry that they took my safe space,â she says. âThat I feel like I canât talk to my fans anymore because every time I open my mouth, I feel like Iâm lying to them.â
Her voice breaks - not loudly, not dramatically, but in that small, fragile way that means sheâs been holding this in for far too long.
âIâm angry because theyâre demanding answers from me... answers I want nothing more than to give... but I canât.â
The boys watch her with a kind of reverence, like sheâs revealing something sacred and painful. Jayâs eyes soften, guilt flickering across his face. Jakeâs breath stutters, chest tightening. Sunooâs lashes flutter, wet again.
âIâm angry at my parents,â she whispers. âFor not being here to hold my hand while I go through all of this.â
Jungwonâs expression cracks - a tiny, heartbreaking shift. Nikiâs fingers curl into the blanket, protective.
She exhales, defeated.
âFuck it⌠Iâm just angry at the world.â
The room goes silent - not tense, not defensive, just full of the truth sheâs been carrying alone. A silence that feels like a collective inhale, like theyâre all bracing themselves against the weight of her honesty.
She looks up, eyes shining but steady - and the boys see it clearly now: the anger isnât loud, or violent, or destructive. Itâs new. Itâs unfamiliar. Itâs draining her in ways she doesnât know how to articulate.
Lola has never been someone who lived in anger. She lived in softness. In resilience. In quiet strength.
But now sheâs feeling everything at once. Grief, fear, loneliness, betrayal, heartbreak, and the anger is just the shape those emotions have taken because she doesnât know where else to put them.
The boys sit in silence. Not defensive, not frustrated, just stunned by everything sheâs said. And Lola⌠sheâs tired. So tired she doesnât bother softening her voice anymore.
She exhales, slow and shaky.
âFuck... I just feel lost,â she says. âBut I donât really know what else to do except... keep going.â
The words settle over the room like dust - quiet, inevitable and impossible to ignore.
She continues, her voice thinning at the edges.
âI spend most of my time alone now. And I havenât really spoken to anyone about whatâs happened. Not properly. Just a few small chats with my therapist.â
Her voice softens - not out of gentleness, but out of exhaustion.
âAnd Iâm starting to realise how much of the last five years Iâve spent with people.â
She looks down at her hands, studying them like they belong to someone she doesnât recognise.
âI canât remember the last time I wasnât with someone.â
The boys freeze. Because theyâve never thought about it like that. Never realised how monumental this truth is for her. Never understood how deeply it ties into who she is.
For Lola, isolation wasnât a phase. It was a childhood. A foundation. A shaping force.
She grew up alone. She learned to survive alone. She learned to protect herself alone. She learned to expect nothing from anyone because no one had ever stayed long enough to give her anything.
And then suddenly - five years ago - everything changed.
She found them. A family. A home. A constant presence. Noise in the quiet. Warmth in the cold. Hands reaching for her instead of pulling away.
For the first time in her life, loneliness wasnât her default state. She woke up surrounded by people. She fell asleep knowing someone was in the next room. She ate meals with laughter in the background. She rehearsed with bodies pressed close. She lived in a world where she was never truly alone.
For five years, she didnât have to face the world by herself.
And now she does.
Again. All at once. Without warning. Without preparation.
Without the emotional memory she once had - because she unlearned loneliness. She outgrew it. She replaced it with connection, routine, love, family.
And now sheâs being forced to relearn isolation like a language she forgot how to speak.
They see how overwhelming it must feel - to suddenly be by yourself after five years of never being alone. To suddenly have silence where there used to be warmth. To suddenly have space where there used to be closeness. To suddenly have emptiness where there used to be love.
They see how much sheâs been carrying. How much sheâs been hiding. How much sheâs been trying to survive without the tools she once had.
And they inch closer - instinctively, protectively - because they finally understand the depth of her struggle with isolation, and how much she needs them now, even if she didnât know how to ask.
âI look back on every day since I debuted,â she says quietly, âand I see the faces of the people I love.â
Her voice cracks. A small, fragile sound that carries years of history.
âAnd now I realise just how much I despise being left alone.â
The boys donât breathe. Because they know this isnât just about Heeseung. Itâs about her childhood. Her past. Her deepest fear.
âI found myself doing anything to make sure I never felt like that little girl again,â she says. âThe one who never had any friends. The one who never felt like she belonged.â
That truth hits the room like a slow, devastating wave. She shakes her head, overwhelmed by the enormity of what sheâs admitting.
âI clung to you. To this group. To the safety of never being alone. I mean we literally spent every second awake doing something together.â
Itâs true. Painfully true. For years, they were inseparable. Dorms, studios, rehearsals, meals. They grew up together. They survived together. They became a family because none of them had one before.
Her voice drops to a whisper - the kind that feels like confession.
âBut... I don't know... maybe now⌠maybe I should be alone.â
They see her and the importance of this moment for her character. Lola has spent her entire life fighting isolation. It shaped her. It hardened her. It taught her to survive without softness, without safety, without anyone to catch her when she fell.
And then the last five years happened - five years where loneliness was virtually nonexistent. Five years where she was never alone. Five years where she belonged. Five years where she was loved. Five years where she finally felt like part of something bigger than herself.
âWhat?â Jake whispers. He looks like the ground has tilted beneath him - like heâs hearing something impossible.
Lola continues, gentle but devastating.
âMaybe being alone isnât as bad as I thought. Maybe itâs just something I need to learn again.â
The boys look shattered - because to them, being alone is the worst possible thing. To them, being alone means something is wrong. To them, being alone means the group is fractured, broken, unsafe.
Jay shakes his head immediately, voice tight. âBells⌠no.â
Sunoo leans forward, desperate. âBeing alone isnât good for you.â
Sunghoon's voice cracks. âItâs not good for any of us.â Shifting so his cheek is now restinf on her head instead of his chin.
Jake's eyes shine. âWeâve been through everything together.â
Jungwon shuffles closer, calm but emotional. âWe rely on each other. All of us.â
Nikki nods quickly, almost frantically. âNoona. We canât go a minute without seeing each other.â
Jay adds, âWe get nervous when we spend too much time apart.â
Sunoo whispers, âWe hurt when one of us hurts.â
Jake's voice is soft. âWe havenât spent longer than a week apart in five years.â
Sunghoon finishes, voice low but steady. âAnd we wouldnât want to.â
Their reactions come fast, overlapping and messy, Panic disguised as reassurance. Theyâre scrambling, tripping over their own words, trying to pull her back from a cliff they think sheâs standing on. Theyâre terrified. Not of her being alone, but of losing her to the loneliness she survived once already.
And the idea of her repeating those cycles - of her slipping back into the isolation she grew up in - terrifies them.
But they donât understand what sheâs saying yet. Not fully. Not clearly.
They hear alone and think abandonment. They hear alone and think danger. They hear alone and think sheâs slipping away from us.
Their worry blinds them. Not because they donât care, but because they care too much. Because Lola means too much. Because she is the glue, the heart, the quiet centre of their world. Because they canât imagine a version of their lives where she isnât right beside them.
Theyâre trying - desperately - to reassure her that she isnât alone, that she never will be again, that theyâre here, that theyâre staying, that they wonât let her fall back into the darkness she fought her way out of.
But they donât yet understand that she isnât asking to be abandoned. She isnât asking to disappear. She isnât asking to be cut off.
Sheâs trying to explain something quieter, deeper, more complicated - that she needs to relearn how to exist with herself, not without them.
And the boys, in their panic, canât see that yet.
They only see her hurting. And they only know one response: get closer, hold tighter, speak faster, reassure harder.
Because losing Lola - even to her own loneliness - is something none of them could survive.
She looks at each of their faces closely as they speak - stunned, overwhelmed - as they keep going.
âWe go through everything together,â Jungwon says. âWe eat together,â Jay adds. âWe sleep together,â Sunoo murmurs. âWe live together,â Jake says. âWe work together,â Sunghoon continues. âWe survive together,â Niki whispers.
Each line hits her like a heartbeat. But Jungwons voice is the one that lands hardest.
He exhales softly, eyes warm with something ancient and tender. âWeâre not just a group,â he murmurs. âWeâre a single living being⌠each of us a heartbeat, a breath, a fragment of the same soul moving through different bodies.â
His voice carries the weight of years. The shared history, the shared wounds, the shared growing. âWeâre stitched together in ways most people will never understand. Youâre not separate from us. None of us are. Weâre pieces of one spirit, scattered into seven forms.â
Lolaâs breath catches. Because sheâs never heard them say it like that. Never heard them articulate what the group means to them. Never realised how deeply they see her as part of themselves.
Of course she knows they love her. She sees it. She feels it every day - in the small moments and the big ones. In the way they check on her. In the way they tease her. In the way they protect her. In the way they show up for her without hesitation.
They have been here for her in ways no other human beings ever have. They singleâhandedly restored her faith in humanity, kindness, empathy, love... and herself.
She opens her mouth, but nothing comes out.
Because theyâre not just scared of losing her. Theyâre scared of losing themselves without her.
The boys are looking at her. Waiting, hoping, needing her to say something that confirms sheâs still with them, still part of them, still one of the seven.
Jayâs eyes are wide, almost pleading. Sunoo's hands shake where they rest on the blanket. Sunghoon's grip around her shoulders tightens protectively. Jake leans forward, breath held. Nikiâs eyes shine, full of panic. Jungwonâs jaw trembles, trying to stay composed.
Theyâre all panicking. Not because they misunderstood her, but because they love her so fiercely that the idea of her stepping away, even for a moment, feels like losing a limb.
But itâs okay. Theyâre trying. Theyâre here. Theyâre present. Theyâre holding her in every way they know how.
And Lola sees it. The panic, the devotion, the love - all of it written across their faces like a language only they speak.
And she starts to cry.
Not loud. Not dramatic. Just soft, exhausted tears she didnât want to shed tonight - the kind that slip out when your body finally realises itâs safe enough to let go.
She wipes her face, trying to breathe, trying to steady herself, trying not to fall apart in front of them. But theyâre all staring at her with those wide, worried eyes, and she canât hold it in anymore.
Because she feels safe with them. Safe enough to break. Safe enough to unravel. Safe enough to let them see the parts of her she usually hides.
She didnât want this conversation. Not yet. Not like this.
But here they are. And here she is. And the truth is already spilling out, unstoppable now that sheâs finally opened the door.
A memory flashes behind her eyes. Not even hours old.
Phuwin sitting across from her, listening quietly as she explained everything sheâs just told the boys. The way he leaned back, sighed, and said one word that hit her like a punch.
She swallows, trying to find her voice - hesitant, terrified, but determined. Because they asked for honesty. Because they wanted the truth. Because she owes them the same clarity she gave her friend.
And because, deep down, she hopes theyâll see it the way she does. Not as something shameful, not as something dangerous, but as something hopeful. A chance to grow. A chance to move forward. A chance to stop repeating the same cycles and start building something healthier, stronger, more stable.
She hopes theyâll hear it as love. Not rejection. Not fear. Not distance.
She hopes theyâll understand that what sheâs about to say isnât her pulling away. Itâs her trying to make sure they never lose each other again.
So she takes a slow breath, surrounded by their bodies, their warmth, their presence - all of them huddled around her like a shield.
And she speaks.
Lola takes a slow breath, eyes flicking between each of the boys as she tries to steady herself.
âBut maybe⌠maybe itâs not good to feel like this,â she says softly.
They freeze - confused, hurt, startled, like the ground has shifted beneath them.
She lifts a hand slightly, a gentle plea. âJust hear me out⌠I can explain. I just need to find the right words.â
Her voice is gentle, but honest in a way that makes all of them lean in.
âIt made sense to cling to each other as strongly as we did,â she says, choosing each word carefully. âWe were kids. We were thrown into this surreal world at such a young age. We didnât have anyone else.â
Her eyes soften, remembering the early years. The fear, the pressure, the way they held onto each other like lifelines.
âYou were all I had,â she says. âAnd I was all you had.â
Her voice cracks - not dramatically, but in that small, devastating way that means sheâs speaking from the deepest part of herself.
âOf course we clung to each other with everything we had. It was the only way we could get any kind of control over the world around us.â
The boys soften.
Because they remember.
They remember the fear. The uncertainty. The pressure. The nights they cried in dorm rooms. The mornings they woke up terrified. The way they slept in piles because the silence felt too big.
They remember how different they were from other kids their age. How other friendship groups had school, families, weekends, normalcy. But they had each other. Only each other.
And they clung - fiercely, desperately, instinctively - because that closeness was the only thing that kept them from falling apart.
âWe were each otherâs only constistence,â she says quietly. âIn an environment of constant change and uncertainty.â
She looks at them taking in every face, every expression, every flicker of emotion.
âNo matter what changed around us⌠we knew the seven of us never would.â
Her voice steadies, but the truth inside it is enormous.
âWe always had us to lean on,â she says. âWe were the only ones who understood. Whoâd been through the same things. Who knew the same pain.â
Her voice softens, almost breaking.
âThereâs so much comfort in knowing that you were the only people in the world who knew what Iâd been through.â
She shakes her head, inundated by the weight of the memories.
âSo of course we acted like no one else existed,â she says. âWe were scared teenagers. And the only people we could rely on⌠were each other.â
The boys stare at her because sheâs right. Because sheâs naming the truth theyâve all felt but never dared to say out loud. Because sheâs describing the closeness that shaped them, the closeness that saved them, the closeness that made them different from any other friendship group their age.
They held to one another like lifelines because thatâs exactly what they were.
She wipes her face again, tears still falling. Jake lifts his hand to wipe them as they fall from her eyes - gentle, instinctive, terrified of letting her cry alone.
She takes a shaky breath, eyes fixed on the blanket because looking at them feels too raw.
The word Phuwin had said earlier still echoed through her chest like a bell she couldnât silence. Codependency. It had landed with a weight she hadnât expected, a weight she hadnât been ready for, a weight that suddenly made everything make sense.
She knew the term. It wasnât new to her. She had brushed against it in therapy before - lightly, cautiously, never long enough to let it settle. Every time the topic surfaced, she and her therapist had drifted toward something else, something easier, something less threatening. And outside those sessions, she had joked about it. In interviews. On livestreams. In passing comments with the boys. She had laughed about how none of them could function without each other, how they were practically glued together, how they panicked if they spent more than a few hours apart.
But she had never truly taken the time to understand what it meant. Or what it was doing to her. Or how deeply it had shaped her life.
The boys watched her closely, confusion flickering across their faces. She felt their fear, their love, their confusion, all of it swirling around her like a storm.
She wiped her cheeks again, but the tears kept falling. Soft, quiet, unstoppable. She wasnât sobbing. She wasnât breaking apart. She was simply letting herself feel, letting herself be seen, letting herself be held by the only people she trusted enough to fall apart in front of.
But now, sitting here with the boys, her boys, huddled around her, she felt the truth of it more clearly than ever. She felt how deeply they had all clung to one another. How fiercely they had held on. How desperately they had needed each other to survive the world they were thrown into as children.
She felt the weight of five years spent in constant closenes. The rehearsals, the meals, the shared beds, the whispered fears, the laughter, the tears, the unspoken promises. She felt the way they had become one living organism, one body, one soul, because it had been the only way to survive something that should never have been placed on their shoulders.
And she felt, for the first time, how that closeness had shaped her. How it had protected her. How it had saved her. And how it might now be holding her back from healing.
She lifted her eyes, finally meeting theirs. Six faces full of fear, love, confusion, devotion. They didnât understand yet. They didnât see what she saw. They didnât know what she was trying to say. But they wanted to. They were trying. They were listening.
And she knew she had to continue. She owed them the truth. She owed herself the truth. She owed this moment the honesty it deserved.
She took another trembling breath, surrounded by their warmth, their presence, their love.
And she continues.
âI didnât realise how much of me has changed. How much of me is lost. How much I rely on you. How much I need you.â
The boys freeze. Because hearing her say need feels different now. Heavier. More fragile. More dangerous.
She continues, her voice barely holding together.
âWhen I was on tour⌠I was miserable.â
The admission hangs in the air like a confession she never meant to make.
âNot because of the work,â she says. âNot because of the fans. Not because of the travel.â
Her voice softens, almost breaking.
âBut because I was away from you.â
The boys look stunned - hurt, guilty, understanding all at once. And they remember how she looked on those calls. How tired she sounded. How she tried to smile but her eyes never matched. How she always asked what they were doing before she ever talked about herself.
She exhales, and the truth spills out of her in a way she canât stop now.
Because this is what codependency feels like. It feels like love. It feels like safety. It feels like being cured.
It feels like someone is the medicine for every ache youâve ever had - how someone can be the cure, the fix, the thing that makes the pain stop. It feels like youâve finally found the antidote to loneliness, fear, insecurity, heartbreak.
It feels like youâre healing.
But youâre not.
Youâre just quieting the symptoms.
The sickness - the fear of abandonment, the inability to selfâsoothe, the terror of being alone - is still there, buried under the comfort of someoneâs presence.
And Lola is realising that now. Realising that needing them this much isnât the same as loving them. Realising that relying on them to breathe, to sleep, to feel okay, to feel whole. Isnât healthy. Realising that she has built her entire sense of safety on the idea that they will always be there.
And when they werenât - when she was on tour, when she was alone in hotel rooms, when she woke up without their voices in the next room - she didnât just miss them.
She fell apart. She couldnât function. She couldnât think. She couldnât exist without them.
And thatâs what scares her.
Because codependency feels good. It feels warm. It feels like home. It feels like a good thing.
But itâs not. Itâs a temporary fix that hides the wound instead of healing it.
She feels that now - the ache beneath the comfort, the emptiness beneath the closeness, the way she has lost pieces of herself because she poured everything into them.
She feels how much she has changed. How much she has disappeared. How much she has relied on them to keep her upright.
And she feels the danger in that. The danger of needing someone so much that you forget how to stand on your own.
Itâs about healing. Itâs about reclaiming the parts of herself she lost while trying to survive a world that demanded too much from her too young. Itâs about learning how to exist without falling apart when sheâs alone. Itâs about loving them without needing them to keep her alive.
And she continues.
Her hands tremble in her lap, fingers curling and uncurling like sheâs trying to hold onto something that keeps slipping through her grasp. She looks down at them. At the shaking, at the exhaustion, at the truth sheâs finally ready to say.
âWhen I was talking to Wintoday⌠he said something that just fucked me up.â
A small laugh escapes her - thin, brittle, the kind that doesnât reach her eyes. Itâs the laugh people make when theyâre trying not to cry harder.
She hesitates... because saying it out loud feels like crossing a line sheâs never crossed before. A line she didnât even know existed until a few hours ago.
âHe completely called me out on my shit.â
The boys blink, confused and startled, until she explains, her voice barely above a whisper.
âTold me about the idea of losing yourself entirely in someone else.â
The words hang in the air like smoke - heavy, lingering, impossible to ignore.
âAnd I realised⌠thatâs what Iâve done.â
Her voice trembles again, and she feels the truth of it in her bones.
âNot in a negative way. Not because any of you did something wrong. But because I suddenly understood that I shouldnât fear being alone. Or being away from you. Not to the point where I feel nauseous.â
She shakes her head, overwhelmed by the realisation. By how terrifying it was, by how much it explained, by how much it hurt.
âThatâs not normal.â
And it isnât.
Itâs not their fault. Itâs not her fault. But it is something she wants to fix.
She wants to learn how to be alone without falling apart. She wants to learn how to exist without needing someone to keep her steady. She wants to learn how to love them without losing herself in the process.
She could feel her pulse in her throat as she continued, the air around her thick with everything she had already said and everything she still needed to say.
âBut maybe now⌠maybe I shouldnât be relying on you the way I used to. Maybe I need to learn how to be alone again. Not because I want to leave you. Not because I donât love you. But because I finally understand that none of this⌠none of how Iâve been feeling⌠is good for us.â
The room went still. Not tense, not angry, just full of the truth she had finally spoken aloud. A truth that had been growing inside her for years, unnoticed, unnamed, until today.
She watches them freeze. Because they had never heard her say that. Never heard her question the closeness they had always relied on. Never heard her acknowledge the part of their bond that might not be healthy.
They had always seen their closeness as strength - as love, as loyalty, as survival. And it was all of those things. But it had also become something else. Something heavier. Something that had begun to shape her life in ways she hadnât noticed until she was forced to stand alone.
Her anxious attachment had never felt like a problem. It had felt like comfort. Like safety. Like family.
And in a way, they were.
They had saved her. They had held her together. They had given her the love she had never received before.
But needing someone that much - needing them to feel seen, to exist, to feel okay, to feel whole - wasnât healing. It was hiding the wound.
And that terrified her.
Because she finally understood that distance isnât a punishment. It isnât abandonment. It isnât loss.
Sometimes distance is a gift.
Space is where people grow. Space is where people learn who they are. Space is where people become themselves again. Space is where people breathe.
Loneliness - real loneliness, not isolation - can be one of the greatest gifts a person can receive.
She wanted that. She needed that. Not because she wanted to leave them. But because she wanted to come back stronger. More whole. More herself.
She wanted to love them without losing herself in the process. She wanted to be part of them without depending on them to survive. She wanted to grow. And she wanted them to grow too.
She hoped they would see it. She hoped they would understand. She hoped they would hear this not as rejection, but as hope.
Hope for healing. Hope for growth. Hope for a future where they could be close without being consumed by each other.
âNone of what weâve been feeling is good,â she says. âWeâre separate people. Weâre not kids anymore.â
The words leave her softly, but they land with the weight of years. She can feel the boys tense. Not in anger, not in fear, but in the stunned stillness of people hearing a truth theyâve never dared to consider.
âWe shouldnât fear being away from each other,â she says softly. âIt doesnât mean weâre going to lose each other. Or that we love each other any less. Or that weâre going to change.â
Her voice steadies - not because she feels strong, but because she finally feels honest. The truth has been sitting inside her for so long that speaking it feels like exhaling after years of holding her breath.
âIt just means weâre growing up.â
She sees the boys soften - shoulders lowering, eyes widening, expressions shifting - and she relaxes because they know sheâs right, even if it hurts. Even if it scares them. Even if it feels like sheâs touching something sacred and fragile.
âWeâre not the same people we once were,â she says. âHell, weâre definitely traumaâbonded to the point where we donât know where one ends and the other begins. And thatâs okay. Without that I donât think we would have survived what we have.â
Her voice softens, and the room seems to soften with it.
Because sheâs naming something theyâve all felt but never spoken aloud. The way their closeness was born from fear, from pressure, from survival. The way they fused together because the world around them was too big, too fast, too demanding for children to navigate alone. The way they became one organism because it was the only way to stay alive in an industry that didnât care if they broke.
But now⌠they arenât children anymore.
And Lola is trying to help them see that.
Sheâs trying to help them understand that distance isnât abandonment. That space isnât danger. That growing separately doesnât mean growing apart.
She isnât blaming them. She isnât blaming herself. She isnât blaming the past.
Sheâs simply acknowledging that they all deserve more than survival. They deserve growth. They deserve independence. They deserve to become whole people - not fragments of one shared identity.
She wants them to see that space can be healing. That distance can be strengthening. That growing individually can make their bond healthier, not weaker.
She wants them to see that this is love - the kind that wants to last.
âAnd I think maybe itâs good that weâve dealt with this separately. That weâve processed away from each other. That we have lives outside of one another now.â
The words leave her softly, but they land with the weight of years.
âGod I mean once upon a time,â she says, âthat could never have even been an option. We wouldn't have even dreamed of it... And now look at us.â
She wipes her face again, exhausted, her fingers trembling as they brush away the tears that keep slipping free.
âWe will always have a home with each other. But itâs okay that we have other homes now too.â
The boys inhale sharply.
âIt doesnât diminish our bond,â she says. âIt doesnât mean we mean any less to each other.â
Her voice drops to a whisper.
âWeâre just growing up. And of course weâre not going to cope the same way we did when we were teenagers.â
Lola is still crying. Soft, exhausted tears she didnât want to shed tonight. Tears that come from clarity, not collapse. Tears that come from finally understanding herself, not from breaking apart.
And the boys are crying too - every single one of them - because everything sheâs said has cracked something open inside them. Something theyâve never touched before. Something theyâve never examined. Something theyâve never dared to acknowledge.
They cry because sheâs right. They cry because they remember. They cry because they feel the truth of her words in their bones.
They cry because theyâve spent years believing that closeness meant survival - that distance meant bad - that separation meant loss.
But Lola is showing them something different. Something gentler. Something wiser. Something they never learned as children because they were too busy surviving.
Sheâs showing them that they donât have to cling to each other out of fear anymore. They can choose each other out of love instead.
And as they cry. All of them, together, something shifts in the room. Something softens. Something opens. Something heals.
Because for the first time, theyâre not clinging out of fear. Theyâre holding each other out of love.
And Lola feels it. The shift, the understanding, the beginning of something new.
She moves closer. Slow, hesitant, but determined. And the boys immediately reach for her, as if the instinct to hold her is older than any of them can remember.
Jay pulls her in first, arms wrapping around her with the kind of desperation that comes from years of loving her. Jake wraps his hands back around her tigh, like heâs anchoring himself to her. Sunoo buries his face in her shoulder, his breath shaking against her skin. Sunghoon holds the back of her head, fingers trembling against her scalpas if heâs afraid sheâll disappear if he lets go. Nikki squeezes her side, clinging to her like sheâs the only thing keeping him upright. Jungwon stands and closes the circle, arms around all of them, pulling the entire group into one tight, trembling knot.
And suddenly theyâre one big, shaking, crying knot of limbs and love and history.
They hold each other like theyâre afraid to let go. They cry like theyâve been holding it in for years. They breathe like they finally feel safe again.
Lola sobs into Jayâs chest, her tears soaking the fabric of his shirt. Jakeâs tears fall onto her leg, warm and startling. Nikiâs breath trembles against her neck, his whole body shaking. Sunghoon's jaw quivers as he holds her tighter, like heâs trying to protect her from something he canât name. Sunoo sniffles loudly, clinging to her shoulder like a lifeline. Jungwon's eyes shine as he squeezes them all closer, grounding the entire group with the steadiness heâs always carried.
Theyâre not seven idols. Theyâre not a group. Theyâre not a brand. Theyâre a family.
And families break together. Families heal together. Families grow together.
âWe love you,â Jay whispers - the words barely audible, but heavy with everything heâs never said.
âWeâll always love you,â Jake adds, voice cracking as he presses his forehead to her leg.
âNo matter what,â Sunoo says through his tears, his grip tightening around her shoulder.
âNothing will ever change that,â Sunghoon murmurs, thumb brushing the back of her head in slow, soothing circles.
Jungwon voice is steady, grounding all of them. âWe embrace the change together. We show up for each other. Always.â
Lola cries harde, not from pain, but from relief.
Relief that feels warm instead of sharp. Relief that feels like breath returning to her lungs. Relief that feels like the first step into a future she didnât know she was allowed to want.
Because she needed to hear that. She needed to feel that. She needed to know that even if things are different now, the love hasnât changed. Not even a little.
And all seven of them hold each other again - crying, shaking, breathing - finally accepting that their bond is forever, even if some things are different now.
The shift is subtle, but she feels it. They all do.
Itâs the moment a childhood chapter closes. The moment an adult chapter begins.
Theyâre entering a era where they can become who theyâre meant to be - individually, separately, fully - without breaking the bond that saved them.
Because love doesnât shrink when people grow. It expands. It adapts. It stretches to fit the new versions of the people inside it.
Their bond isnât dissolving. Itâs evolving.
They will still show up for one another. They will still support one another. They will still love one another with the same ferocity that carried them through their darkest years.
It just might not look the same as befor. And thatâs okay. Thatâs good. Thatâs healthy.
Lola feels it in her chest. The relief, the hope, the quiet joy of knowing she doesnât have to choose between loving them and becoming herself.
The boys feel it to, the release of years of fear, the softening of old wounds, the understanding that they donât have to cling to survive anymore.
Theyâre not losing anything. Theyâre gaining something. A future. A healthier bond. A chance to grow without growing apart.
And in that tangled knot of limbs and tears and history, they all breathe - deeply, freely - for the first time in years.
It feels like sunrise. It feels like healing. It feels like hope.
Theyâre stepping into a new chapter together. And theyâre ready.
WARNINGS: this is set right after RM's discharge. enjoy it!
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The HYBE building felt strange for IsabelĂ that week, specifically.
Not in a busy way, because it was always busy, but charged, somehow. Staff walked faster through the hallways, managers whispered in elevators, old employees who had worked there since the BIGHIT days looked emotional every five minutes.
Isa knew it had a reason: BTS was slowly coming back.Â
Actually, she noticed the whole mood shift as soon as she landed in Korea. The greetings were more formal, securities doubled around the company, cameras waited outside the building almost every day now. Meanwhile, she was drowning in preparations for the Beautiful Chaos Tour coming up. She barely remembered what day it was anymore.Â
By the time she finally stepped out of the dancing studio that night, it was nearly midnight.
Everything hurt. The oversized black hoodie hanging from her shoulders belonged to one of the stylists after she'd spent hours complaining about how freezing the studio had been. Her dark hair had been tied into a messy ponytail sometime around dinner, though half of it had already escaped the elastic.
Still, the artist floor was surprisingly quieter than usual. Most lights had already dimmed automatically into nighttime mode, the polished floors reflecting soft gold from the ceiling lamps.
Isa walked slowly toward the elevators while scrolling mindlessly through messages from the girls. Sophia asked if she was alive, while Megan replied she last saw her at the studio and Yoonchae asked for some chocolate milk.Â
Isa snorted to herself, before hearing someone approaching from around the corner. The girlâs eyes widened immediately and she whispered a desperate âfuckâ.Â
There he was. Kim Namjoon.
Ironically, out of all seven BTS members, he was the only one she'd never actually spoken to. She'd met the others in passing over the years. Some recognized her from the company cafeteria back when she'd worked there during her trainee days while others had offered polite greetings in the hallways or backstage at HYBE events.
She'd even spent a few hours in a writing session with Yoongi once, when the company unexpectedly invited her to contribute ideas for a KATSEYE track. She still remembered walking out of that room convinced she'd imagined the whole thing.
But, somehow, despite working in the same building for years and crossing paths more times than she could count, Namjoon and Isa never exchanged anything beyond a polite nod from opposite ends of a corridor.
As if feeling her desperation, he looked up.Â
"Oh, hi!" he was the first one to speak.Â
Isa blinked, then hurriedly bowed.
"Hello, sunbaenim." she said.Â
Namjoon laughed lightly, rubbing the back of his neck.
"Thereâs no need for that."
Isa smiled at him, pressing the elevator buttons more times than sheâd like, as if that would get there faster.Â
"Iâm sorry." she said. "Habit."
"I know." he smiled, looking around the deserted hallway before looking at her again. "But weâre the only ones here. Isa, right?"
She nodded.
"Yes."
Her mind, meanwhile, had completely abandoned her. What was she supposed to say? She was freaking out.Â
"I don't think we've actually introduced ourselves." he said, holding out his hand. "I'm Kim Namjoon."
Isa stared at his hand for a split second before letting out an involuntary laugh and shook it.
"I absolutely know that." she let out.
He laughed too, dimples appearing immediately.Â
"I figured."
Isa felt like she was an idot.Â
"Iâm so sorry." she groaned. "That sounded so stupid."
"No," he tsked, waving it off. "donât worry about it."
A comfortable silence settled between them as they waited for the elevator. Why was it taking that long?Â
Isa's eyes immediately dropped back to her phone, scrolling through the same three messages she'd already read twice. Anything to avoid looking at the man standing beside her.
She vaguely remembered seeing him countless times in the old BigHit building, but standing next to him now⌠It was different.
Somehow, he seemed much taller than she'd imagined. Calmer, too. There was none of the intimidating aura she'd unconsciously built around Kim Namjoon over the years. Just a tired man in a hoodie, quietly waiting for an elevator after what had probably been an equally long day.
A soft ding echoed through the hallway and the elevator doors slid open. Isa instinctively stepped aside to let him in first. Instead, Namjoon extended a hand toward the open elevator, holding the doors with the other. Â
"After you."Â
She couldnât help smiling back, completely off guard.Â
As they stepped inside the elevator, an almost instinctive formality settled between them. They stood side by side, leaving a respectful amount of space, both with their hands loosely folded in front of them as the doors slid shut.
The soft hum of the elevator filled the silence.
Namjoon's gaze drifted to the oversized black hoodie hanging off Isa's shoulders. It was at least two sizes too big, the sleeves swallowing half her hands.
"Long day?" he asked, breaking the silence once again.Â
Isa looked down at herself before letting out an exaggerated sigh.
"I've been in Studio B since..." she glanced at the clock on her phone. "Nine this morning."
Namjoon winced.
"Ouch."
"We're getting ready for tour. Suddenly, everything is an emergency." she explained.Â
"I heard! Whatâs it called again?" he asked, genuinely curious.
"Beautiful Chaos Tour." she answered. "Itâs exciting, though."
"I know!" he agreed. "And exhausting too, right?"
Isa gave a weak laugh, nodding.Â
"If you're the one saying that," Isa continued. "who am I to complain? You're the expert one."
Namjoon shook his head immediately, giggling.Â
"I don't know about expert."
"Oh, come on!" she said.Â
"Iâve survived a few of them." he said, shrugging.Â
"A few?" she repeated, joking.Â
"Yeah, maybe like⌠Four? Five?" he shrugged, almost sheepishly. "But when you say it out loud, it sounds like Iâve been doing this forever."
"But you kind of have!"
"Yeah, I have!"
They said it at the same time, and for a second, they simply looked at each other before laughing.
The elevator continued its slow descent.
Neither of them spoke again, though the silence no longer felt awkward. It was comfortable, unexpectedly so.
Namjoon glanced at Isa from the corner of his eye. She laughed easily and there was nothing calculated about her reactions. No carefully rehearsed idol answers, no perfectly polished smile for the cameras. She simply said whatever came to mind, then laughed at herself whenever it came out wrong. It was refreshing.
He'd expected someone far more guarded. Instead, she felt remarkably easy to talk to. His lips curled into the smallest smile before he looked back at the glowing floor numbers.
Across the elevator, Isa was trying very hard not to look at him again. She'd spent years unconsciously building an image of Kim Namjoon in her head. Brilliant, intimidating, probably the kind of person who made everyone think twice before speaking. Instead, he was warm and funny in an effortless sort of way.
The elevator slowed to a stop with the doors sliding open with a soft chime and, for a brief second, neither of them moved. However, Isa stepped out first and, surprisingly enough, Namjoon stepped out too.Â
"So," Namjoon said as they started walking through the quiet underground hallway. "how long are you in Korea this time?"
"I honestly have no idea anymore. Our schedule changes every other day." she nervously giggled. "I came here thinking itâd be two weeks. Now Iâve just stopped asked."Â
Namjoon laughed at her honesty.
After passing through the security gates with the building's facial recognition and fingerprint scanners, Isa offered a quick goodbye to the doorman and the security guards on duty, earning a chorus of tired 'good nights' in return.
She started toward the section of the underground garage where she'd parked, but as they reached the heavy glass door separating the lobby from the parking area, Namjoon stepped ahead of her. Without saying a word, he pulled the door open and held it there, again.Â
Isa glanced up at him, a small smile tugging at the corner of her lips.
"Again?"
One of his shoulders lifted in a casual shrug.
"Old habit."
She couldn't help but smile as she walked through.
The parking garage was nearly empty, illuminated only by rows of white fluorescent lights reflecting off the polished concrete floor. Their footsteps echoed softly as they walked side by side. By the time they reached the row where Isa had left the company car, she instinctively started patting the pockets of her oversized hoodie.
"My keys are..." she checked one pocket, then another. "...somewhere."Â
A second later, she pulled the key fob free with a triumphant grin.Â
"Ha!"
The headlights of a gray car blinked twice a few spaces ahead and they kept walking. She took two more steps before stopping so abruptly that Namjoon almost walked past her.Â
"Wait a minute." Isa stopped and Namjoon looked at her, a few steps behind him. "Your car isnât even here."
He glanced toward the elevators leading to the executive parking level. "I know. Itâs upstairs."
"Oh, my!" Isa said, nervously laughing. "Why did you come all the way down here?"
For the first time that night, Namjoon looked almost embarrassed. He rubbed the back of his neck.
"It was late. I just wanted to make sure you got here." he answered her, shrugging.Â
There was nothing dramatic about it. Actually, he said it so matter-of-factly that it took Isa a second to process it.
"It just felt like the right thing to do." he answered.Â
Isa smiled, warmth spreading through her chest.Â
"I think thatâs very sweet, actually.âÂ
By the time they get in the driver's door, Isa unlocked it and turned back to him.Â
"Well, thank you for walking me." she said, smiling at him.Â
Namjoon smiled back.Â
"My pleasure. Drive safely, okay?"
"I will, sir." she answered. She turned around to get in the car, but then turned around again. "It was nice finally meeting you."
He nodded, his smile softening.Â
"It was."
"So⌠I'll see you around?" she said, not wanting to sound strange, but how could she not sound strange when that was THE Kim Namjoon?
"I hope so."Â
Isa climbed into the driver's seat, closed the door and started the engine while Namjoon waited until the headlights came on. Only then did he turn and walk back toward the VIP garage. She watched him disappear in the rearview mirror until he rounded the corner.
The second he was out of sight, Isa let out a completely silent scream.
"Oh my God..." she covered her face with both hands. "Sophia is going to lose her mind."