#eunjanq

For just once in his life, Humin wanted to know what it felt like to not be a massive fuck-up. Lately, it seemed like everything was piling up, one thing after the other, and he was the root of it all. Along with it came responsibilities that he thought he was prepared for, but it was all starting to get to him. His friends were being targeted by the Union all because he refused to bow his head, go against his convictions, and join them in their violent war against innocent students. Alongside that, he was having trouble at home as well — he was pretty sure his dad hated his existence, seeing him as nothing but a burden that he was forced to deal with. It also didn’t help that the old man kept getting into trouble with the police. And his school life? Well, Baku had never been the smartest, not by a long shot, but now he was struggling to even achieve passable grades. His head was too twisted with everything else to focus on putting any effort into his schoolwork. 

To top it all off, to add to his growing list of bullshit, was Baekjin.

Baku had been offered a deal that related to the safety of his friends and his dad, but he wasn’t sure it was fair to even call it that. It felt more like manipulation and blackmail that he was about to become the victim of. A phone call was what kicked it all into motion. Baekjin on the other line, reminding Baku of his previous words. That he’d do anything Baekjin wanted. The reminder had caused Baku's teeth to grit behind closed lips, wondering why the hell the other was bringing that up now. However, Baekjin had continued, saying that he would also do the same in return.

That was how Baku found himself carrying out his first job for Baekjin. He’d tracked down Seoknam’s top dog, Gorilla, to a nightclub and had forced him into joining the Union using his fists as his means of persuasion. As he left, the guilt weighed heavy as he left the scene, making each step feel like there was lead in his sneakers. It didn’t matter that he had given the guy cash to buy some pain relief patches — it didn’t take away from the fact that Baku had still used violence to make him agree to something like that.

like  the  moon  calling  the  ocean,  that's  what  baekjin's  always  been  to  baku.  even  as  kids,  baku  could  never  resist  baekjin's  gravity.  and  he  never  wanted  to.  with  the  force  of  an  overexhilarated freight train,  baku  would always tackle  baekjin  with  a  hug.  the  only  warning  was  baku  shouting  "na  baekjin!",  loud enough for the whole neighborhood, world, universe to hear. how could he ever keep quiet about the one person who makes him so fucking ecstatic to be alive?  ─── even  years later,  baku  wants  to  go  to  baekjin.  hold  him.  relearn  the  rhythm  of  baekjin's  heartbeat  against  his  own  chest.  but  to  baekjin,  baku's  just  a  sledgehammer,  a  hunting  dog,  an  asset.  something  to  use.  ( maybe  when  they  were  kids,  only  baku  believed  they  were  friends? )  baku  often  shoves  his  hands  into  his  pockets  around  baekjin,  so  he  doesn't  do  something  wild  like  reach  for  the  boy's  hand.

He’d been reassured countless times; words of comfort and affirmation spoken by his friends, by Suho himself, his grandmother, and the hospital staff. But every time he visited, Sieun always braced himself at the door, panic squeezing his heart in its icy grasp until he laid eyes on Suho and confirmed that he was, in fact, awake. He was close to being discharged, just a week to go, but that news brought on a series of clashing emotions that Sieun was still trying to deal with. Of course, he was happy. Overjoyed, even. That meant Suho was making good progress, that the doctors were satisfied with how far he’d come. But then anxiety reared its ugly head and bombarded Sieun with questions that he couldn’t answer: what if Suho was discharged and something happened on the outside? This hospital had been like a sanctuary, keeping him away from the real world. What if all it took was an innocent and accidental bump on the head to send him back into that deep sleep again? Back into that abyss where Sieun couldn't follow?

He couldn’t think like that. If Suho knew how much he was worrying, he’d scold him. Although, that might actually be welcomed — it was a familiarity that Sieun had so desperately missed. As Suho begins to eat the noodles, he feels his concerns begin to fade. They always seemed to do so when he was in the other’s presence for even a short amount of time.

Ah, the noodles… they were too hot, weren’t they? Sieun’s eyes soften in that way that was reserved for Suho only.

“You would think after nearly two years, my bedside manner would be better…” It was a joke, showing just how far Yeon Sieun had come in that time. Casually joking around, being more open than he once was. Development that Suho hadn’t been here to witness, but he’d get to see the rest of it. He was back now, and Sieun would make sure he would never be taken away again.

“Aish… be careful…” He’s up and out of his chair, leaning over a bit to stop Suho from moving too much. Unlike before, when Sieun hadn’t truly appreciated Suho’s attempt at feeding him, he was more proactive this time. Doing something like this brought Suho joy, and Sieun would be damned if he ever rejected an opportunity to see that cheeky grin light up his face. When he takes the bite offered to him, Sieun expects the noodles to be hot because of the earlier observation, but they weren’t. Suho had blown on them, thinking of Sieun's wellbeing. Even after all of that, all he'd been through, Suho was still looking after him.

“You’re not important enough to be that.” Na Baekjin really thought that Sieun cared about what he had going on? To say that he was Sieun’s life was laughable, but Sieun wasn’t exactly the laughing type. What he saw seated before him—a teenager sat behind a desk like it was his throne—didn't fit. This whole thing with the Union? It was all nonsense, and yet nobody involved could see it. To these men—no, boys— it was the only thing they had in their lives. Without the promise of power and brutality, what else did they have going for them? It was a sad existence that would fester in them until there was nothing left, and it was one that Sieun wanted no part of. He was done with the seemingly unending cycle of violence, the constant fighting that had caused him to construct his walls again and made him pull away from those who wanted to be his friend. It hadn’t worked, of course. Those guys— Juntae, Hyuntak, Baku… they’d clung to him. Refused to let him push them aside, even after he’d tried to distance himself.

He stood there, as observant as always; it was his number one weapon for survival. Baekjin had resumed his paperwork, not a math problem this time, but he could tell that the other’s focus was elsewhere. A silent intake of breath, and Sieun takes a moment to think about a solution. Yes, Baku had changed his number, and it wasn’t something Sieun would give out. It wasn’t his place to.

“It’s because you’re the way you are,” he states bluntly. “That’s why he won’t come to you. How many times has he told you to stop this? And why can’t you?” Now, Sieun wasn’t stupid. He knew that there was more to this than just Baekjin deciding to lead a ruthless syndicate — there had to be levels to it, things going on behind the scenes that Sieun had no knowledge of. But something had to be done to put an end to it all. It wouldn’t be easy, he knew that much, but there had to be a way.

he doesn't  understand  baekjin's  'strong  interest'(?)  in  humin.  sure,  okay,  maybe  the  guy  can  fight  somewhat  well.  but  to  care  about  a  single  individual?  is  it  because  baku  gets  shit  done  with  any  task  for  the  union?  or is there something else going on?  doesn't  make  sense  to  seongje  at  all─  until  this  boy  with  fire  in  his  eyes,  words  cutting  sharp  as  his  smile.  every  time  seongje  and  hyuntak  cross  paths,  the  air  between  them  crackles  with  embers.  the  beginning  sparks  a  wildfire  threatening  to  devour  them  both.         

"jaegiya, you're  gonna  make  me  do  terrible  things  if  you  flirt  with  me  like  that."  seongje  smiles.  fucking  hell,  he  gets  such  a  kick  out  of  hyuntak's  verbal  attacks.  "i  told  them  to  play  with  you  a  bit,  but  i  guess─"  with  two  fingers  on  hyuntak's  jaw,  seongje  gently  turns  his  face  to  get  a  better  look  at  the  damage.  "─they  got  a  lil'  carried  away."  seongje  makes  a  mental  note  to  make  it  clear  to  his  subordinates  to  not  fuck  up  hyuntak's pretty  face.  only  seongje  can  do  that.