I DON’T WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.

[ outgoing message | imo ❤️  at 11:45 AM ] : ok but why you gotta be like that??[ outgoing message | imo ❤️  at 11:46 AM ] : we could have brunch…[ outgoing message | imo ❤️  at 11:46 AM ] : after we have sex?

i don’t think he likes that i’m always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together.

[ outgoing message | partner in crime at 2:50 AM ] : the fuck??[ outgoing message | partner in crime at 2:53 AM ] : honestly what kind of guy doesn’t like it when a girl sends him pictures of herself in her bra??[ outgoing message | partner in crime at 2:54 AM ] : are you seeing a gay lad again?

i feel like a nasty slut and I LOVE IT

[ outgoing message | partner in crime at 12:28 AM ] : is this still about the threesome?[ outgoing message | partner in crime at 12:30 AM ] : or what kind of kinky shit was it this time?[ outgoing message | partner in crime at 12:33 AM ] : wait, don’t tell mE I DON’T WANNA KNOW 

let me help, please?

[ outgoing message | maladick at 5:16 PM ] : it’s fine, i’m fine, chi.  [ outgoing message | maladick at 5:18 PM ] : and there’s nothing for you to worry about[ outgoing message | maladick at 5:19 PM ] : if you wanna help, focus on your work, yeah?[ outgoing message | maladick at 5:19 PM ] : that’s what matters the most to me right now. you doing well with your art.

it’ll be like the notebook, except with way more of my penis.

[ outgoing message | maladick at 10:02 AM ] : it’s too early for this shit [ outgoing message | maladick at 10:03 AM ] : your text woke me up [ outgoing message | maladick at 10:03 AM ] : and waking up to jokes ab your dick after getting 3h of sleep wasn’t in my plans[ outgoing message | maladick at 10:06 AM ] : it’s also that time of the month for me so hate to disappoint you but[ outgoing message | maladick at 10:07 AM ] : you’re not getting any

i’m only saying it because i care about you.

[ outgoing message | josh 👌🏼 at 1:23 AM ] : i know. [ outgoing message | josh 👌🏼 at 1:24 AM ] : i know you care and i appreciate it but i promise i’m fine and i promise i’m not forcing my own limits just to get this done, okay?[ outgoing message | josh 👌🏼 at 1:26 AM ] : i love you a lot, you know?

you should come over, clothing optional.  

eleanor, you massive little shit, it’s now the second time i wish you a happy birthday but we’ll pretend i wrote this before actually messaging you at the ungodly hour i did!  

let me start by nicely reminding you that you’re literally ancient now ( we’ll pretend i won’t be twenty-two in a few months ta ) and idk if i were you, i’d take this as my chance to run to vegas and probably drink and gamble my unhappiness towards being 21 away. just kidding, don't do that !! ENGLAND STILL NEEDS YA !

on a more serious note, it’s been over a year since we’ve known each other ??? where did time go ??? and though it doesn’t feel like it’s been that long, i’m really grateful for everything you’ve done for me through and through. at this point and by now, you should be perfectly conscious you’re far more than just a roleplay partner and if i’m thankful for anything this stressful, dramatic site gave me, our friendship is most definitely one of those things. thank you for each of our conversations no matter how random they might be and thank you for always having a kind word to say whenever i’m being a moody shit. thank you for your support when i was quite literally freaking out over that presentation i had to do for my internship or when i had a panic attack and you talked me through it or cheering me up whenever i needed. thank you for each video of dogs doing random shit, they always put a smile on my face, and thank you for subtly trying to kill me with headcanons and each plotting idea that makes me dead inside. there have been times when we didn’t talk as much but whenever i truly needed you, you were there even if it was just to remind me that if i needed to vent you’d listen. i know you’ve been through a lot throughout the time we’ve known each other ( and prior to that ) and though i don’t think i’ve ever told you, i hope you know you’re one of the strongest people i’ve ever met. i could go into detail about each and every single thing i pointed out amongst a few others but then i’d most definitely get sidetracked and we’d be here all day so i’m gonna wrap this bit up by saying i hope you won’t ever forget how much you and our friendship mean to me. there have been periods when i’ve slacked and others when we didn’t talk as much but know that i’m here through and through for whatever you might need.

i’m gonna repeat myself a third time but i hope you have the most amazing day because you deserve it. enjoy it as much as you can, keep a smile on that beautiful face of yours and don’t let negative things get to you because today is YOUR day and you deserve everything nice! push past the negativity and all that jazz <3 <3

i love you millions and billions and trillions!

dearest elle, 

you are officially 21. how does it feel to be faced with the impending doom of adult responsibilities? it’s okay, at least know you’re able to officially drink your worries away wherever you are in the world. i never tell you enough but i am so thankful for your friendship and incredibly blessed that you put up with me and my horrible antics, questionable sense of humor and my constant long ass spiels about my ridiculous and predominantly non existent love life.  thank you for putting up with my cries about my feet turning blue in london, telling me to go to house of fraser to get a parker (that fucking coat saved my life for six months ok i will never thank u enough) and talking me through my stupid problems like not being able to travel to scotland for the weekend. thank you for talking me through stupid bouts of home sickness. thank you for sharing my love of lush bath bombs (here’s to more nekkkiid snaps). thank you for asking me weird ass questions and forming rather questionable headcanons eg. would hannah be ever be the surrogate for ashton’s child. weird af. and how our muses would react to watching porn together. ew. i’m too young for this. thank you for making me /cry/ over zayn malik LAST YEAR ON PUBLIC TRANSPORT R.I.P ME ( i still remember waking up to that message at like 6am and u goING ZAYN LEFT ONE DIRECTION AND I WAS LIKE EH WHATEVER KNEW IT WAS GONNA HAPPEN AND WENT BACK TO BED AND THEN I WOKE UP AND KIND OF FELT DEAD ALL OVER )  oh and real talk thanks for telling me how to use that hair flip emoji bc we all know i abuse the crap outta that now. thank you for serenading me with high school musical songs. my ears still haven’t recovered from the beauty that is your voice 

also 

what 

the 

fuck

was this

conversation 

and 

never forget 

you are beautiful, no matter what they say *christina aguilera voice* and we shall cry together when animal crossing comes out on the app store. i have spoken to you for like two years now and i remember you going through a lot of shit on tumblr and all that jazz and how unhappy and discontent it made u and i am v v happy that you are now drama free * throws confetti * i hope that you know you can come talk to me or vent whenever you need it!!!! happy birthday ya bl00dy tosser, remember boy you’ve got a friend in me 😱 *finger guns*  eat lots OF CAKE UNTIL YOUR STOMACH ACHES AND SMILE TIL YOUR CHEEKS HURT AND SHOW ME WHAT YOU BUY FROM TIFFANY’S 

much love and endless HGUS the woody to your andy,  shaz.