#etcetcetc

aaaaand. yuji vs hakari peak peak peak. i want to talk about yuji’s state of mind and current philosophy (/absence of philosophy) because what he’s doing is killing the part of himself that looks for greater meaning and a reason to keep going as well as dehumanizing and desensitizing himself; a cog doesn’t need to worry about the consequences of its actions or the pain it feels, its only role is to keep working and keep the machinery alive. this is how yuji deals with the suffering that stems from his own overthinking. if you’re like me you’ll notice the way his character arc mirrors suguru (which is 100% intentional imo, especially bearing in mind that we see suguru’s downward spiral and breakdown right before shibuya starts and yuji properly begins his own downward spiral): suguru is broken by his realization of what their system is like and broken by his decision to cling to ideals he no longer believes in, yuji is broken by his decision to fight for something that he keeps taking from others (he wants people to die ””normal”” deaths only to 1) realize he doesn’t really even know what a normal death is 2) cause the gruesome deaths of thousands). when suguru is at his lowest he makes the choice to double down and fully embrace his idealism, twisting it until his beliefs are something he can fight for again. when yuji is at his lowest in shibuya he makes the opposite choice and kills his own heart (if you look at the anime episode in particular you’ll notice yuji’s heart is missing from his shadow when it looms above mahito). suguru chooses to cling to meaning, yuji discards it and turns himself into a ”cog” (which was exactly what suguru was on his way to becoming / couldn’t bear becoming.) yuji chooses to fully embrace his ”insignificant role in the system”, suguru breaks out of the machinery.

the instant i get introduced to a ship, i either go 'ehhh, i can kinda see it' or 'I SHIP THIS SO FUCKING HARD NOW OH MY GOD'

the thing about overdone miscommunication tropes that are annoying in modern day romcoms/dramas is that i don’t believe it. but you give me a piece of media from the 1700s/1800s when everything was about propriety and it’s like yeah actually that miscommunication tracks and is a good vehicle for angst