#established roceit

When he had reconnected with Janus about a year ago, he hadn’t hoped for anything. At first, he hadn’t even been sure he believed Janus’ wild story about his dad piling him and his mom into their car in the middle of the night without warning because the cops were after him for some sort of shady business. Virgil had been to Janus house many times back then — they’d been best friends after all, which made the sudden disappearance hurt all the more — and his father maybe wasn’t the best guy, but he certainly wouldn’t have thought him a criminal.

But Janus had shown him the mugshots from his father that were taken only days later when the cops snatched them up two states away. Janus and his mother thankfully couldn’t be implicated, but going back to where they came from wasn’t an option either. With no phone to call his own, Janus hadn’t been able to contact Virgil and that had been that.

It was a crazy coincidence that they ended up working in the same city in another state so many years later.

After they started talking again, it didn’t take long for Virgil’s feelings for Janus to resurface. He hadn’t allowed himself to acknowledge them when they were both repressed teens in a conservative town and now, he was denying them again because Janus was about to get married.

Just Virgil’s luck.

He really shouldn’t’ve agreed to be a groomsman, but he couldn’t think of any excuse not to.

So here he sat, in a black suit and purple shirt as per Janus’ wishes, fulfilling his duties by making sure Janus wasn’t getting cold feet. Not that there was any real danger of that happening considering how enamored he was with Roman.

Again, Virgil couldn’t fault him. In fact, he was sure that his crush on Roman was going to grow just as much as his crush on Janus had.

He was so doomed.

~~*~~

“So, you nervous yet?”

Roman looked over at his twin, who was lying on the hotel bed with his head hanging off.

“Kinda? But in a good way. I can’t wait to see Janus in his whole outfit; I’ve only glimpsed at pieces of it!”

“Well, neither of you is a bride, so I guess you don’t have to worry about bad luck if you see each other too early.”

A knock on the door stopped Roman from responding.

“Come in!”

Virgil opened the door and peaked his head in. Roman thought he saw him swallow before he spoke, he worried his anxiety may be acting up.

Roman hadn’t known Virgil for long, though Janus had told him stories from their high school days even before he had reentered his fiancés life. After all, he had been a crucial part in Janus’ realization that he might like men more than women. And Roman could certainly see why Virgil had been his awakening, the man was adorable, charming and protective in a way that made even Roman’s heart beat faster.

Thank the gods that Janus and he were both polyamorous and very interested in Virgil. It was just bad timing that he came into their lives when they had just finalized their wedding plans, otherwise they would’ve put the whole thing off and courted Virgil first. But alas, deposits had been paid and neither had the funds to reasonably move their plans just for the chance that Virgil might feel the same.

That didn’t mean they were giving up, just tabling it for later.

“Are you on schedule?” Virgil asked, startling Roman out of his reminiscing. “On our end everything’s good, so I just wanted to check…” he drifted off, the light tint of his cheeks making Roman think he was embarrassed to admit his worries.

“We are perfectly in time, my dark, stormy knight! Thank you for being vigilant.”

“Oh. You’re welcome? It’s not like I did much.”

Roman walked over — mainly to get a closer look at his outfit because, damn, Virgil looked good in a suit — and patted him on the shoulder.

“It’s reassuring to know someone is keeping an eye on things,” he smiled. Virgil’s blush deepened and he nodded.

“Okay, glad I could help then. I’m gonna go back to Janus now!” He spoke quickly and pulled the door closed behind him before Roman could react.

“Wow, you’re down bad for him, huh?” Remus commented and Roman wanted to throw something at him really badly.

~~*~~

Janus couldn’t believe his luck.

He was standing here across from Roman, listening to his vows that were of course super cheesy and over the top, not that he would have it any other way. His romantic heart had been one of the things Janus fell for and of course it would shine the brightest during their wedding.

But he wasn’t the only thing Janus counted himself lucky for.

No, he was also incredibly lucky to have Virgil only a few steps behind him, supporting him in one of the most important moments of his life. Like he had when they were in high school and he’d been the only person Janus truly felt comfortable around. There’d been a tension at his home that he couldn’t explain back then, that now made sense to him, but Virgil had been his safe haven.

And now he was here. As his groomsman. And hopefully soon he will be more than just a friend.

Right now, Janus was going to give all of his attention to the sweetest man he knew, to Roman who was crying through his vows, whose hands he was holding on to with a strong grip, who he was going to spend a lovely week alone with in a nice cabin where it would be just the two of them.

And then he would make sure that Virgil quickly learned that he had two hands and had wanted to take his in his own for so many years. He already had a strong suspicion that the other reciprocated most of his feelings and had an interest in Roman as well by the looks he was giving them when he thought they weren’t looking. Janus had always been able to almost read Virgil’s mind.

But that would have to wait.

For now, he wiped Roman’s tears away as he proclaimed ‘I do’ loudly for everyone to hear.

Logan had read the document and its many (many) attachments five times now. He was partway through a sixth reading when the doorbell rang. Logan's brow furrowed as he glanced at the time on the screen. Far too early for Remy to be home from his trip with Emile. Virgil and Patton weren't due back from Kelly's place until tomorrow. With a sigh (and, perhaps, more than a little relief), Logan stood and made his way to the front door.

"Oh, Loooow-gan," a voice sing-songed from the other side of the door and the doorbell rang again. "Knock, knock ... I know you're home ... your van is in the driveway and your lights are on." Logan closed his eyes and didn't even try to fight the small twitch of a smile at the familiar voice.

"Janus, it's not like you to drop by unannounced," Logan's voice was a little rough. Is this the first I've spoken out loud today?, he wondered as he turned the locks. Logan opened the door and smiled at the man standing on his doorstep, one hand reaching for the doorbell to ring for a third time, the other holding a bag from Downpour Coffee. "I could have been in the shower, you know."

Janus raised an eyebrow and smirked as he sidled past Logan into the foyer. "Right," he nodded in mock agreement. "It's already," he paused as he checked the time on his wrist, "just after 11:30 in the morning. The day Logan Sanders isn't showered, shaved, and dressed by this scandalously late hour is the day I - " Janus abruptly stopped his playful rant when he noticed how Logan's face paled and his entire body seemed to seize up at the mention of his last name. Janus narrowed his eyes a bit as he looked closer at his friend. Logan's hair was mussed and while he'd clearly put effort into his clothing this morning, his tie was askew and he'd missed a loop on his slacks. Janus placed a gentle hand on Logan's shoulder, holding up the bag of coffee and treats. "Let's talk."

Nodding, Logan led Janus back to the kitchen table where his laptop sat open, divorce papers clearly visible on the screen. "Oh, Lo, " Janus sighed. "C'mon, let's sit down." Janus pushed the laptop a bit further back on the table and started unpacking coffee cups, pastries, and creamer from his bag. He looked back at Logan and pointedly eyed the chair adjacent to his own. Janus smiled gently at him as he finally sat down, reaching for one of the to-go cups. Logan closed his eyes briefly as he appreciated the warmth emanating from the cup.

"You don't have to do this alone, Lo," Janus began. "I'm a lawyer, I can help."

Logan ran his hand over his face and sighed. "I know, Jan. I know. So am I." He met Janus' eyes and smiled slightly. "I just," he looked down at the cup in his hands. "I ... I needed to read through the petition on my own first. In case I - " Logan's voice cracked. He didn't try to continue, just looked down and took a sip of the - blessedly - still hot coffee.

Janus placed a hand over Logan's. "Lo, you know as well as I that it's normal to grieve the loss of a marriage. Even - " Janus stopped himself before he could finish that sentence. "Even one as toxic and abusive as yours was." Janus met Logan's eyes again. "It's okay to have feelings about this, Lo."

Logan sat for a while, sipping his coffee and watching Janus prepare his own. Janus remained quiet by his side. They'd known each other since law school and been best friends since they both joined QLaw. Janus knew there was no rushing Logan on this topic.

Logan stood to throw away his empty coffee cup and to empty his old cold mug. He looked up at Janus, wordlessly asking if he had finished his coffee. Janus smiled and handed him his empty cup, as well. Logan took his time throwing away trash, rinsing the mug and placing it in the dishwasher. Still not enough to run yet. He pulled out a kettle, filled it with cold water and set it to boil. "Tea?" he called over to Janus.

"Yes, please." Janus smiled again. Tea meant talking. "That chai, if you have it." Logan hummed in response, nodding and taking down the tin of chai blend.

Chai would take longer to prepare, however Janus' antics at the door were only performative impatience. They both knew that Janus could outlast the universe waiting for Logan to open up. They also both knew that Logan needed that time. After several more minutes, Logan returned with their tea and sat down with a heavy sigh.

Logan touched the trackpad on his computer to wake up the screen, entered the password and turned the screen so both could see it. He took a deep breath. "Kelly's lawyer sent me the papers to sign. A few clicks, three months' waiting period, and we're di- " Logan crushed his eyes closed and tried again. "No longer married." Logan fought the lump forming in his throat and gulped some of the scaling tea. Janus moved his chair a bit closer to Logan's but remained silent. "I just feel like ... " Logan sighed, rubbing a hand roughly over his lips, tears finally forcing their way to his eyes. "I feel like I've failed them." Logan looked up at Janus and finally met his eyes. Janus could see years' worth of tears building in Logan's eyes and suppressed the mental image of himself nudging Kelly toward a flight of stairs.

"Failed who? The boys?" Janus finally asked. Logan pressed his lips together and nodded. He looked down at his hands before he continued.

"For my entire adult life, every single choice, every step, every decision I've made was carefully planned and considered to give my sons a better life than I had. To give them that fairy tale family - a loving mom and dad, a nice house in the suburbs, good schools ... I wanted to give them so much more than what I had." Logan looked up again at Janus, tears falling. "And it was meant to be a fairy tale for me, too. The moment Kelly told me about Remy ... I thought ... " Logan stopped, pressing a hand to his mouth, breathing in and out a few times, swallowing back a sob. "I thought that I was being given a chance to live that Prince Charming life, too."

Suddenly, Logan looked up at Janus, eyes wide. "I mean, I know so much better now, I've learned how all that hetero-normative bullshit that was forced into me as a kid ... I don't mean that yours and Roman's marriage -"

Janus smiled and took Logan's hand. "I know, Lo. I know. You personally helped draft part of the law that let us get married in Washington. You've come a long way, baby." Logan chuckled a bit at the joke and sniffed, reaching for a tissue to scrub at his eyes."Your attempts to secure your ally card, though, are pulling us away from the topic at hand." Logan's eyes grew guarded. Janus continued, undeterred. "You haven't failed your sons, Logan. You're saving them."

Logan's jaw clenched and he drew his lips into a tight line. Janus noted his friend's expression and further softened his tone. He reached out to grasp one of Logan's hands. "Lo, I know how bad things were getting when you and Kelly were still together. You couldn't keep - " Janus swallowed and looked down to give himself a moment to control his voice and his words. "Kelly was getting out of control. She'd already hurt Remy when he tried to stop her from hurting you ... it was only a matter of time before Virgil or Patton started trying to step in, too."

Logan would not meet Janus' eyes. His face burned in shame. Janus gently reached over and lifted Logan's chin before he spoke again. "And before you even begin to think that you should have just tried harder to hide what she was doing to you," Logan's eyes widened "How does he always know what I'm thinking?" Janus smiled slightly, "Because I'm your best friend, that's how." Janus continued, "Before you even begin to think that you should have tried harder to hide it or somehow prevented them from trying to intervene, know that your boys love you and even if they were never in physical danger, they want you to be happy and safe. It's the wrong kind of fairy tale if you're not."

Logan's hands made fists in his lap and his jaw clenched. "But what kind of father needs his sons to defend him?" he growled through gritted teeth. Janus carefully held Logan's hands, gently prying the fingers apart so he'd stop digging his nails into his palms.

"Tell me, Lo, how many years have we worked together at QLaw?" he asked quietly.

Logan answered automatically, "Fifteen years, this June."

Janus nodded, knowing and expecting such a precise answer from his friend. "And how many pro bono domestic violence cases have we taken on?" Janus, frankly, had lost count. Without waiting for Logan to answer, he held up a hand and went on, "and of those cases, were every single one of them an instance of a husband abusing a wife?"

Logan turned away, perching his elbows on the table, head in his hands. "You know, I'm not blameless. I lied. I kept things from Kelly. I opened a secret bank account. I rented a storage room, and started moving photos and documents into it. I signed the lease on this house before I even told her that Remy and I were moving out. I even told her it was just a temporary separation. I - "

Janus cut him off before he could spiral further, carefully tugging away hands which were starting to pull at his hair. "Lo, you did what you had to in order to survive, in order to keep your boys safe. A safety plan in response to escalating abuse is the right thing to do. You did the right thing, Lo." Janus voice was quiet again. "You got out. You got Remy out, too. And you've got a safe space and a plan in place in case ..."

With a deep sigh, Logan finished his sentence. "In case Kelly does anything stupid before Virgil and Patton turn 18 and can decide for themselves where they want to live."

Janus gently squeezed Logan's hands. Logan met his eyes. "Lo, you're not alone in this." Logan nodded a bit and let out another sigh.

"Thank you, Jan."

They sat together for a few minutes before Janus gestured at the laptop with his chin. "How about I take a look at the petition for you one more time before you sign it?"

Logan stared at the screen until the words [x] To end your marriage. glowed with the aura of an afterimage. He closed his eyes and nodded, "I'd really like that. Thanks, Janus. I'll just ... I'll clean up." Logan stood, gathering together their empty tea cups and the bag from Downpour. "There are open tabs with the kids' projected school schedules and holiday calendars out to when Patton turns 18 in case you need it for - "

"For the parenting plan, yes Lo, you trained me well." Janus grinned up at Logan and was pleased to see the ghost of a smile breaking through on his face. "I've got this." Janus got to work, opening up another tab to their shared Evernote. "Say, how long until Remy gets back from his trip?"

Logan turned off the water and checked the clock. "Not for another six and a half hours, depending on traffic. How long do you think you need?"

Janus chuckled, "I'll be done with this in an hour or two. I was wondering if you wanted to do something this afternoon."

Logan started to nod eagerly but caught himself in time. "Oh, that's really nice of you, Jan, but I don't want to monopolize your entire Sunday. Don't you usually have weekend plans with Roman?"

He laughed. "Oh, I've been supplanted by brotherly love. Remus is visiting and they're off gallivanting in Capitol Hill this afternoon. They regress about twenty years when they first get together after some time apart ... I'm not sure I would want to be a part of that mess, anyway."

"I would have to agree," Logan laughed, thinking about Roman's tales of their college hi-jinks. "I'm game for whatever you are."

...

Later that afternoon, with the menu screen music from The Martian DVD playing in the background, Janus sat beside Logan while he clicked through the e-signature screens for his divorce papers. When he'd finished, Logan leaned his head on Janus' shoulder, took a deep breath and emailed the document back to Kelly's lawyers.

Janus leaned his cheek against the top of Logan's head. "I know this feels like the end, Lo. But I think your story's just beginning."

--------A/N---------

Of course The Martian is Logan's favorite movie in this universe. A sci fi film based on a book written by a software developer, wherein the only villain is the incompatibility of life with the inevitability of Newton's laws of thermodynamics, and where science, math, and human cooperation are the heroes? Bring it on!

...

"I'm very sorry, sir," the nurse at the admitting desk said in a tone that was anything but sorry. "But I don't have any patients named Virgil Sanders here. Please understand, I can't help you." The nurse at the admitting desk pressed her lips together firmly in what Remus thought was a fair imitation of Nurse Ratched.

Remus stretched a smile across his face, one so broad that his molars nearly showed. He pressed both hands down onto the edge of the admitting desk and then leaned just slightly over it. He tilted his head to one side just a bit too far to look comfortable. "Of course, I understand." He stared into her eyes, and somehow stretched his smile even further. He spoke slowly and precisely. "I would suggest that you find someone who will help me." The nurse did not step away from the desk, nor did she break eye contact with Remus - under different circumstances he'd hire her in an instant - but she did pick up a phone and page for a resident. Remus dropped the smile completely, taking half a step back away from the desk and crossed his arms. "Thank you."

A few minutes later, a resident appeared, eyes locked on Remus' green hair. He narrowed his eyes, "What's your name, please, sir?"

"Remus Prince," he drew out his first name in an attempt to siphon off some of the residual anger he still felt at the nurse' initial dismissiveness.

The resident nodded, "Follow me, please, Mr. Prince." Remus followed the resident through the double doors, resisting the urge to look back and sneer at the admitting nurse.

They turned a corner into another hallway with a blue and red stripe halfway between ceiling and floor. "Remus!," the crack in Logan's voice shot through Remus' chest. He turned and saw Logan standing outside a room with glass doors and a staffed nursing station just outside, with an unobstructed view into the room. Oh, Remus thought, that kind of observation. In two long strides, Remus stood in front of Logan and gripped his upper arms. Logan pulled Remus closer, clinging to his chest. Remus wrapped his arms around Logan's back. "You came, I told them you'd come ..."

"Of course," Remus closed his eyes, shaken at the broken tone in Logan's voice. "How's Virgil?," Remus whispered into his hair.

Logan took a shuddering breath. "He's asleep right now. He hadn't slept in three days. He - " Remus could feel Logan's jaw move against his shoulder as he ground his teeth.

Remus looked up and around the hallway where they stood. He noticed an empty consultation room opposite Virgil's room and caught the eye of the resident who was still standing just a few feet away. "I would like to take my friend in there, if you don't mind." The resident nodded once. "Lo," Remus said in a softer tone. "Come with me. Let's get out of this hallway." Logan looked where Remus was gesturing. "Let's sit down. We'll be able to see Virgil's room from there." Logan silently nodded and let go of Remus, walking toward the room. Remus looked at the resident again, bright green eyes locked on the resident's. "Thank you - " Remus read the man's name ID badge, then looked up to meet his eyes again. "Thank you, Dr. Nale, for helping me take care of my friend." The resident swallowed and nodded, acknowledging both the gratitude and the promise-threat that Remus would remember him.

Remus entered the small room and closed the door so their voices wouldn't carry. The room had a glass wall that looked out and across the hallway into Virgil's room. They could see him curled on his side in the hospital bed. He was rather tall for the little beds in the children's wing, but appeared to be sleeping comfortably. Logan stood against the glass, expression blank, staring at his son. Remus arranged two chairs so they could both face Virgil's room and steered Logan toward the softer chair.

Remus pulled out his phone and started making some notes.

    Dr. Nale - helpful resident. Nurse Pendling - Nurse Ratched at the front desk.  

"Logan, do you have a parent hospital bracelet or maybe a badge?" Logan looked down at his wrists and shook his head. "Ok, so Virgil's not officially admitted yet." Remus looked closer at Logan's face. His eyes were a little sunken and his lips were chapped. He wasn't really speaking and seemed slow to respond even non-verbally. "Lo? Lo, look at me," Remus coaxed. Logan slowly turned to look toward Remus. "Logan, how long have you been here?"

Logan shook his head slightly and shrugged a little but then seemed to consider the question. "We got here ... " Logan took a deep breath. "We got here early this morning. Before school."

Remus nodded, "Ok. Ok, good." He tapped 8 AM? into his phone. "Logan, what about Patton? Did he go to school today?"

"Yes, yes, Roman took him," Logan slowly nodded. "He was off today. It's the cabaret's dark night." Thinking about his sons seemed to be helping Logan center himself.

"That's lucky," Remus murmured carefully. And if Roman knew that Virgil was in the hospital, then so did Janus. Remus trusted that Janus would handle whatever was needed with Logan's cases. "And Remy's still on campus for the fall quarter, right?" Logan nodded again.

    Patton - spending the night at Ro's? will need pick up tomorrow after school Call Remy later  

Remus looked around the room again. There was a small water cooler in the corner. He filled a paper cup and pressed it into Logan's hand. "Here, take a sip." Logan looked down at the cup in his hand like he didn't know what it was but he followed Remus' instruction. When Logan finished that cup, Remus refilled it and took one for himself, as well.

Logan sipped at the second cup, and Remus watched him carefully as his eyes gradually started to regain their usual focus. After several minutes, Logan turned and looked at Remus and it felt like he finally really saw him for the first time that day. "Remus - " Logan sighed and closed his eyes for a moment before placing one hand over Remus' free hand. "You're here."

Remus flipped his hand over and gently squeezed Logan's. "Always."

...

Virgil slept for several more hours, during which Logan alternated between pacing, crying, and describing for Remus how they'd ended up in the emergency room. The day had started with an early morning call from Virgil's therapist. Remus had already heard from Logan - and Remy - that the whole family had started therapy after the 4th of July and everything felt like it was going well. However, that morning, Virgil's therapist was reviewing the answers in his CBT workbook and noticed that lots of letters were colored purple, scattered across the pages without an obvious pattern. She was experienced, though, and knew it was likely anything but random. She checked and the letters spelled out a note saying goodbye. She had immediately called Logan and recommended that they head straight to the ER at Children's for an evaluation and, likely, admission.

After Virgil woke, Logan joined him in the room. Remus worked the floor, finding an unlocked linen closet so that Virgil could have an extra blanket, and hunting down someone to bring Virgil - and Logan - food. The two had left for the hospital before breakfast and it was now past dinner time. Remus had spent enough time in similar observation wards with friends' families to know that if he walked around like he belonged there, people would likely leave him alone, grateful that perhaps it would mean one fewer nurse's bell being rung. Remus also stepped out a few times to call and check in with Roman and Janus and confirmed that Patton could spend the night at their house and that they would get him to school in the morning.

Eventually, it became clear to all that Virgil would need to be admitted. The nurse searched Virgil's pockets and bagged up his phone, shoes, belt, hoodie, and jewelry, handing the bag to Logan. Logan and Virgil walked through the byzantine hallways toward the inner corridors of the behavioral health ward while Remus sat in the small waiting room. He looked looked around the room, noting the faded posters, emergency public address code chart, and a schedule of mandatory parent classes on safety plans and de-escalation techniques. He sat a little closer to the desk where a tired-looking administrative-type sat, typing at a keyboard. Remus checked the time - 10:40 PM. Past regular visiting hours. He smiled at the admin and stage whispered, "Is it always this quiet this time of night?"

The admin looked up, first seeing the neon green hair, but then settled on the kind eyes and smile. She returned his smile. "Usually even quieter." Remus winked. She tilted her head, "You're here with Virgil Croft, aren't you?" Remus groaned internally, careful to keep a gentle grin on his face. Croft. Right - Virgil's under 18 and hasn't changed his name to Sanders yet. Perhaps he owed Ratched an apology.

Remus nodded slowly. "His dad is helping him get settled now." He gestured at the sign on the desk, "Visiting hours start at 10 AM tomorrow?"

She nodded and hummed. "Yes. Parents are allowed to visit a minor child's room at any time, though, as long as the child is willing, of course."

"Hence Virge's dad can be with him right now," Remus said, maintaining eye contact, nodding with her.

"Hence Virge's dad can be with him right now," she confirmed. Remus smiled.

"I'm Remus," he said, reaching close enough to shake her hand.

"Barbara," she shook his hand, a small smile on her face.

"So, Barbara," Remus pulled his chair next to her desk and rested an elbow on the back edge, pulling up his notes app on his phone. "What should we really know about Virge's time here?"

...

More than two hours later, the door to the inner ward buzzed and Logan slowly walked through. Remus leapt to his feet and gently tugged the bag of Virgil's belongings out of Logan's shaking hands, leading him over to a chair. "Here, Lo. Sit down. It's ok." Remus had watched how carefully Logan had maintained his steely grip on his composure every time he was in the room with Virgil. The façade had begun to crack.

Barbara had stepped around the desk and held a small can of orange juice out to Remus. "This will help," she said, looking at Logan in concern.

"Thanks, Barbara." Remus opened the can and turned back to Logan, "Lo, drink this. You'll feel a little better. Then I'm going to take you home."

Logan slowly sipped at the juice, nodding. "Thank you." He looked up in Barbara's direction, but wasn't focusing on her. "Thank you, both." Barbara smiled and went back to her desk. "I'm parked in the Blue lot," he finally said to Remus.

"Finish that juice," Remus said, nodding, "And I'll drive you home."

...

Once they arrived at Logan's house, Remus helped Logan inside, pushed another glass of water at him and made sure he laid down in his bed. Remus noticed a phone charger on his nightstand and he retrieved Logan's phone from the - now - sleeping man's jacket and plugged it in.

He went back downstairs and checked the time. A little after 2 AM. Remus looked around the living room and shrugged. The couch looked comfy enough. He'd definitely slept on worse. Remus sent off a quick text to Roman and Janus to let them know Logan was home and that he would be staying there for the night. He dug around in the kitchen until he found another charging cable to power his own phone and collapsed on the couch.

Remus' watch buzzed him awake a few hours later. A little bleary eyed, he needed a moment to remember where he is and why he was in Logan's living room. With a pang, he remembered the previous night and jumped up and headed to the coffee maker. 7:34. Remus fished his own morning medication out of his jacket pocket and washed it down with a glass of water. He considered waking Logan, but ultimately he decided to let him sleep just a little longer - at least until he can figure out how Logan's coffee maker works. After a few frustrating minutes, Remus heard a knocking at the front door.

Remus walked over and opened the door a crack before swinging it wide open. "Janus! What are you doing here?"

"I bring coffee, clothes, and company," he said with a small smile. "I make no promises about what Roman selected for you -," Janus handed Remus the larger of the two bags he carried. "But I can guarantee that the coffee is top notch."

"Well thank you and thank Cthulu, because I can't figure out Logan's coffee maker to save my life. Literally. I'm dying for some caffeine," he sighed happily when Janus pressed a hot cup from Downpour into his hands and took a sip. "Hmmm. Better. What kind of product designer decided to turn a coffee maker into a pre-caffeination intelligence and dexterity test?" Remus took another sip and raked his hand through his curls, massaging his scalp. "I know, a sadist ... and not the fun kind."

Floorboards creaked and Logan's voice sounded from halfway down the stairs. "Have we reached the sadism portion of the morning already?"

"Lo, you're up - oh," Remus slapped a hand over his mouth as though he could retroactively lower his voice. "Did we wake you?" Remus looked chagrined as his eyes followed Logan's path into the kitchen.

"Thanks," Logan muttered to Janus as he handed him the third cup of coffee. "No, do not worry, you didn't wake me, Remus." he said carefully. "I am accustomed to waking by seven every morning. " He looked at his friends, caffeine finally turning the last gear into place. He blinked in confusion. "What are you two doing here so early?"

Remus felt his face flush and Janus saved him from having to answer. "I just arrived, bearing caffeinated gifts, and Remus ... Remus has been here since he drove you home last night."

Logan turned back to Remus, mouth falling open a bit as he calculated when they must have arrived last night. "You drove my car ... " Logan's face contorted in a mess of feelings for a moment but then he caught Remus' bright smile and relaxed. He let out his breath with a quick sigh. "Thank you, Remus." Logan looked like he wanted to say more but, but instead he pressed his lips together, adjusted his glasses, and nodded. "Thank you."

"No problema, man," Remus drawled, nudging Logan's shoulder with his own. "Oh! I've got something for you." Remus pulled out his phone and texted Logan the list he'd been populating throughout the night at the hospital. Logan's phone whistled softly and he pulled it out to see a list of ... everything he would need to know, do, or procure to take care of Virgil while he was in the hospital.

Logan scrolled through the list. He started to read some of the notes aloud. "Receptionists names, Virgil's attending doctor's cell number ... parent and patient class times ... the hours for the 'good Starbucks'? ... Remus, where did you get all of this information?" He looked up at Remus' soft expression, noticed Janus watching the two of them through narrowed eyes and quickly lowered his gaze, feeling his cheeks warm. He adjusted his glasses and cleared his throat. "This will be most helpful. But, how?"

Remus grinned and shrugged. "I kept a list of tidbits I came across while I was waiting for you. Oh, and Barbara was very helpful ... "

"Barbara ... ?" Logan's voice trailed off, scrolling back through the list. "Oh, the night admin on Virgil's ward." Logan opened and closed his mouth. He swallowed carefully and looked back at Remus. "Thank you," he repeated.

Janus looked at the two of them for a moment, shaking his head slowly, a small smile playing at his lips. Leave it to Remus ... "Well, time waits for no man," he said at last. "I'm due at the office in an hour - Logan, your cases are covered and I have a FMLA request ready for you to sign if you need it - however, in the meantime, how about I make breakfast while you two finish getting ready. Visiting hours start at ... ?" Janus raised his eyebrows in a question.

"Ten o'clock," Remus and Logan answered together.

"A quick study, as usual, Logan," Janus made a shooing gesture at the two men. "Off you go ..." Janus poked his head in the refrigerator. "Eggs are fine, I assume?"

"Yes, mom ... Eggs are great! Raw's fine, just no shells!" Remus called over his shoulder as he took the bag of clothes into the bathroom. Janus rolled his eyes.

Logan started back up the stairs but turned to Janus one more time. "Thanks, Jan."

Janus smiled back and then mock-scowled, "I don't see you getting ready ..." Logan huffed out half a laugh and jogged up the stairs.

...

After Janus left and the two ate a quick breakfast, Remus drove Logan back over to Children's. Logan sat quietly in the passenger seat for several minutes, staring at the Parent Badge hanging on the lanyard around his neck. It felt official. Formal.

 Permanent.

Remus glanced over, noticing what had completely absorbed the other's attention. "Penis - I mean penny for your thoughts?" Remus was pleased to get the tiniest of chuckles out of Logan.

"The psychiatrist last night wouldn't even give me an idea of when Virgil might be released. What if ...," Logan began.

"What if nothing," Remus quickly released one hand from the steering wheel, reached over and squeezed Logan's knee before bringing his right hand back to the wheel. "Focus on what's the next step. You're going to go see Virgil, and bring him his favorite drink from Starbucks, and sit together. Remind him what's happening on the outside and just listen to him. Here," At the red light, Remus fished in one of his many jacket pockets and pulled out a small deck of playing cards. "Bring these, too. When all else fails, you've got Go Fish."

Logan stared at the cards in his hand. "How - ," he began, unsure what exactly he was asking. "How do you just know how to handle all of this? What book did you read that told you how to help your friend whose child is suddenly - " Logan looked like he ate something sour " - hospitalized like this?"

Remus considered the question for a moment. "I had a lot of friends who struggled in college. The Game Design program wasn't all fun and games ... " Remus waggled his eyebrows at Logan to lampshade the bad pun. "It was a double major, very competitive, very high pressure." Remus spared a quick glance at Logan to see that the was watching him carefully. Remus quickly brought his eyes back to the road. "More than a few of my friends spent some time in one inpatient program or another, for varying amounts of time. At least half of my friends self-harmed in one way or another." Remus could see Logan rubbing a spot under his watchband again out of the corner of his eye and he felt his heart crack.

"It's just a lot of time spent in hospitals," Remus said once he could trust his voice.

"What helped you?," Logan asked at last. The penny dropped.

Remus sighed. "Time. Therapy. Some medication," Remus nodded slowly, turning his head for a moment to catch Logan's eyes. "More time and therapy. Still medication." He let out a long breath through puffed cheeks. "It's less like treating a broken leg and much more like diabetes ... You don't ever really heal. It doesn't just go away. You ... learn how to manage it."

Remus knew how hard this must be to hear, but what Logan needed right now was truth and facts. And hope. "Virgil will learn, too. He's a good kid and he's got a father who ...," They had arrived. Remus pulled into a spot near an emergency phone, turning off the engine. He turned to face Logan full-on. Remus saw tears trailing down Logan's cheeks. "He's got an incredible father who'll do anything for him. Virgil's gonna be alright."

Logan forced himself to stop crying, and looked at Remus, in shock and surprise and gratitude for the wisdom and the help. "I don't know how to thank you for ... everything here. I couldn't have managed this without you. I - " He swallowed back a sob. "I don't how to thank you."

Remus carefully wiped tears from Logan's cheek. "You just did, man." They smiled at each other, and Logan was the first break eye contact, looking down at his hands. Remus caught himself staring at the way Logan's eyelashes had caught his tears and quickly joked, "Oh, let me think ..." Remus slowly shimmied his shoulders as he stroked his mustache in mocked thoughtfulness. "I know. You could get Roman to stop trying to convince me to buy a house on Mercer Island. He's the one who wants a boat slip, not me."

Remus noticed how Logan laughed far harder than the joke warranted, but he was happy to hear Logan's laugh just the same. They got out of the car and Remus took a picture of the parked car, including the lot color, level, and stall number in the frame. "I'll text this to you," he said to Logan. "Let me know how this visit goes. Please ask Virgil if he would like other visitors, as well. I'd be happy to come by."

"Thank you again, Remus." Remus put a soft hand on his arm and Logan's throat went dry at the warmth he felt coming off of Remus' gentle grip.

Remus attempted a smile, took a deep breath and opened his mouth, ready with a quip. Instead he sighed, shoulders sagging, lips curled in a scowl of disgust. "I'm just tired."

Roman squinted at his brother for a long moment. "Magic water."

One side of Remus' mouth raised in a smirk. "'Magic water'?," he scoffed. "We're not four anymore, Ro."

Roman shook his head, smiling. "Doesn't matter. Magic water always works. Miss Julie would pour us each a glass of water and we'd sit down at the snack table. Drink the water, talk, and by the time the glass was empty, you'd know what was wrong." Roman pulled two tall glasses from the cabinet, filled them to the brim with cold water, and placed them on the bar counter. "Magic water," he said firmly.

Remus stared at his brother for a moment. "Water can't hurt," he sighed.

They each sat down at the counter and gripped their water glasses. Roman watched Remus out of the corner of his eye, considering. Time to poke the bear, he thought. "So ... Jan and I found a way to build out a ballroom below decks for the anniversary party on Saturday." He braced himself for the barrage of innuendo in five-four-three-two-

"That's sounds great, Ro." Roman nearly choked on his water.

"What, that's it? A ballroom! You've got nothing to say about that?" Roman reached out to feel his brother's forehead, "Are you ill?"

Remus swatted his hand away and drank his water. "I'm fine."

"Ooooh, I know what this is," Roman cooed.

"No, I really don't think you do."

"No, no, no I do, though ..." Roman grinned in a perfect impression of his twin, waggling his eyebrows and shimmying his shoulders. "My dear brother, the virile Mister Fahrenheit, spiritual muse to the the great Dan Savage himself ... you're in a dry spell."

Remus opened his mouth to protest but tilted his head in thought. It's true it had been a while. But does his own brother think he's just that basic?

"I can't believe you're actually that basic." Roman grinned, shaking his head.

"Stop that." Remus muttered. "You do things like that around Janus and he'll be convinced we have telepathy again." Roman grinned and shrugged.

"So ... do I get to play Tinder matchmaker?" Roman's voice raised a whole octave as he rubbed his hands together. Remus didn't protest. "Hmmm. let's see ... Oooo ... what about that guy from your work? You went out a couple times when you first moved back. Nikolai, right?"

Remus shrugged half-heartedly. "He was okay ... a nice guy."

"Nice?," Roman scoffed, "Nice? That fella was So. Flippin'. Cute!"

"Aren't you married?" Remus retorted, a bit of fire returning to his eyes.

"Married, not dead." Roman took a sip of his water.

Remus rolled his eyes and raised his hands in mock surrender. "Sure, Nikolai's a hottie. We had ... fun." Remus crossed his arms across his chest. "He's not ... I don't know, he's just not ... " ... He's not Logan... an unwanted voice whispered inside his head. Remus shook his head and got up to refill his water glass.

Roman stared at Remus' back and narrowed his eyes, shaking his head in disbelief. "I've never seen you like this."

Remus turned around and scoffed, "What are you talking about, I've always been a horny bitch. It's sort of my brand." Remus waved a hand and flipped his hair back. Roman could still see the defensiveness in his twin's eyes and the tightness around his mouth.

Roman sighed and tilted his head at his brother, "Who exactly are you trying to fool here?"

"Not everything is an epic melodrama, brother dear," Remus grinned with a dark smile that stopped before it reached his eyes.

"No," Roman said softly, shaking his head. "This is something different. You're ...," Roman placed his hands over his heart, a growing smile on his face, "Aww ... you're pining!" Remus frowned and slammed his glass down on the counter, turning toward the hallway and back to his room. Roman leapt from his chair to stop his brother from storming off. Poke the bear and he might bite your head off, he reminded himself. "Wait, Re, wait, I'm sorry." Roman grabbed Remus' arm with one hand and gently turned his brother's face to meet his eyes. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "Please, come sit down and talk to me."

Remus sighed with a scowl, but Roman could feel the muscles in his arm relax a bit. Remus nodded and walked back to the stools where they'd been sitting.

Roman sat quietly, watching Remus. Remus bit his lip, worrying it with his teeth. Finally, Roman spoke again. "So ... do you wanna tell me about him?"

Remus just looked at Roman, still biting at his own lips.

Roman tilted his head and scratched at his jaw. Neither twin was accustomed to these reversed roles. When they were young, it had always been Roman who was head-over-heels in love with a new guy every six months. It had always been Remus who would gently advise, scheme, console, and sometimes, plan revenge. Roman tried again, "Do I know him?"

Remus looked down at his hands and after several breaths, nodded once.

Roman frowned slightly, considering their mutual friend list. "Re, I don't get it. Who could you possibly be so broken up about? You've got my good looks and your ...," Roman raised an eyebrow and stared pointedly at his brother, "vigor. Practically every man I know - and more than half the women - would take you up on an offer without a second's hesitation. The last time I saw anyone resist your suggestions for longer than a week was - " Roman's eyes grew wide and his mouth hung open. "Oh ... Ohhh," more a breath than a word. "Still?"

Remus licked his lips, still staring at his hands, his voice a brief whisper. "Still."

Roman slowly leaned back into his chair, mouth falling open slightly. He stared at his brother, narrowing his his eyes. This ... this explained a lot. This was also a side of Remus he'd never seen before. "I thought ... I just thought you had the hots for The Hottie." Remus raised an eyebrow and looked pointedly at at his brother's wedding ring. "Again, married, not dead. I have eyes." Roman looked thoughtful. "So all that ... flirting has been more than just ... flirting for you."

Remus turned to look at nothing across the room, flipping his hair and fiddling with his sleeves. He chewed at the edge of his upper lip before nodding, finally muttering, "Don't sound so surprised, dear brother. Even Freddie Mercury had a heart to break."

The two sat in silence for a several minutes. "Bro ... you gotta talk to him." Roman sighed at last, reaching for his brother's hand. "You know ... " Roman twisted his mouth before letting out another little sigh. "I used to get the sense from him that maybe he ... that maybe this isn't as one-sided as you think."

"It's not that simple." Remus said softly, shaking his head. He paused, running a hand over his mouth, tugging at his mustache, shifting in his seat. "Logan is - ," Remus sighed again, dragging his hands through his hair. "He's not ... He's ..."

"A closet case?" Roman quipped.

Wincing, Remus opened his mouth to protest Roman's choice of words but gave up with another sigh. "There's gotta be a better way to phrase that, Ro." Roman sort of shrugged.

"Does he know how you feel about him?" Roman asked. "I mean, really know? Have you told him how much you care-"

"I love him," Remus whispered fiercely. Roman sucked in a breath of surprise. Remus had surprised himself with the admission, as well.

Roman locked eyes with his brother, grasping his hands. "Have you told him that you love him?"

Remus thought about the day of the bonfire and how his heart nearly burst out of his chest when Logan greeted him at the door. He thought about how he'd very nearly told Logan the real reason why he'd suddenly turned up on his doorstep. About how he'd planned out how to say it during the entire bike ride over the bridge. And about how he'd chickened out at the very last second.

"No."

"You gotta tell him, Re. Listen, Logan's a good man. ... And there might be more to his feelings for you than either of you realize." Remus looked up, meeting Roman's eyes, seeking to gauge how much was mere encouragement and how much was truth. "But even if ..., " Roman pressed his lips together for a moment, not wanting to put words to what came after the "if". "He's not just going to cut you out of his life. Romantic or not, you mean far too much to him to do that."

Remus sighed and nodded briefly. "I'll think about it."

"I expect you to do more than just think about it." Roman said mock-sternly. "But not tonight," he said, getting to his feet and encouraging Remus to do the same. "Even Princes like us need our beauty sleep. Go get some rest, Re." Roman wrapped one arm around his brother and let out a surprised huff when Remus suddenly pulled him in for a full hug.

It was then that Patton finally noticed the third man standing on their doorstep. Roman saw Patton's eyes widen and he gestured to Remus, whispering with a grin, "He's my brother."

Logan walked over to the doorway, wiping his hands with a dishtowel. He smiled and unknowingly parroted Virgil, "Patton, let them inside, please." Everyone tromped inside, Logan shutting the door behind them. "Boys, this is Remus, Roman's brother. Remus, these are my sons - Remy, Virgil, and - "

"I'm Patton," Patton interrupted, eyes wide, staring up at Remus. "Your hair is green! And you've got tattoos!" Remus smiled and crouched down a bit so he wouldn't tower over the boy quite as much.

"Yes, it is. And yes, I do."

Remus seemed about to elaborate when Patton suddenly turned to Logan, asking, "Can I get a tattoo? A big shark or a Ginkgo tree like Remus'?" Patton turned back over to Remus, "Dad told me all about Ginkgo trees. They're going to be the best kind of tree to plant when the climate starts changing because they're really strong and hardy and drought resistant. Did you know that Ginkgo trees can live for thousands of years? ."

Logan felt his cheeks warm as he met Remus' eyes with a smiling apology but Remus only grinned back before nodding at Patton. "As a matter of fact, I did. Did you know that there are fossils of Ginkgo trees that are over two hundred million years old and that the Ginkgo Biloba is the last of its kind?"

"Like the Doctor!," Patton shouted, pulling Remus' hand into the living room to show him their Doctor Who DVDs. Logan, Roman, and Janus watched in stunned silence as the pair jumped from topic to topic, never slowing down but seeming to have the time of their lives.

Virgil looked over to Roman. "Twin brother, huh?" Roman just nodded, a surprised smile on his face at the speed with which the two of them found a shared passion for ... everything. Virgil chuckled. "I feel ya. I feel ya," he muttered as the group made their way into the living room.

...

"Hi there, Logan. Need a hand?," Remus stood just outside the kitchen, smiling at Logan, who had just escaped the frenzied discussion to resume preparing their 4th of July feast. Logan looked around at the bowls and seasonings scattered around him on the counter and sighed in relief.

"Your offer is more than welcome," he said, nodding. "Thank you." He slid down the counter, making room for Remus to stand next to him, watching the fray through the opening over the counter into the next room. He smiled and chuckled as he watched Patton finally convince Roman to give him a piggyback ride around the living room.

The second timer went off, and Logan turned to run cold water over the eggs still in the pot and then brought them over to the counter for peeling. Logan watched Remus' strong hands gently roll an egg on the countertop, then deftly peel back the shell in one twisted piece. As if feeling the other's eyes on him, Remus looked up at Logan as he plucked another egg from the cold water. Logan quickly looked down at the egg in his own hand and started peeling. A crash sounded out from the living room, where Janus, Roman, and the boys were still playing. "Nothing broke!" Patton, Remy, and Roman all called out in unison. Logan and Remus laughed, shaking their heads.

Remus peered out at the living room. "Your boys really are just adorable little mini-Logans, you know," Remus murmured, smiling and turning again to look at Logan. "They look just like you."

Logan's smile tightened a bit as he nodded and rubbed the back of his neck. "They each have a sprinkling of their mother in there, too." Logan's eyes darkened a bit as he spoke. "Remy has Kelly's smile. Virgil has her eyes, and Patton's got her hair."

Remus looked closely at Logan, watching the sadness stirring just under the surface of his smiling eyes. "Is it hard?," he quietly asked at last. Logan looked back at Remus, tilting his head in a confusion. Remus paused, bit the inside of his cheek and then clarified in the same low voice, "Is it hard ... to look at them and see ... see parts of someone who ... hurt you?" Logan's entire face seemed to collapse for a moment and Remus would have given anything to take back that question. He reached out to place a hand over Logan's hand, hesitated, but then finally gently gripped his shoulder. Logan took a deep breath and seemed to lean in to the touch a bit, looking down at the counter.

Logan opened and closed his mouth a few times before answering, seeming to start and then abandon responses. He nodded. "It ... it used to be ... Sometimes ... yes." He swallowed hard against the lump in his throat, briefly pressed his lips tightly together, then took another deep breath. "Back when ... before we separated." Logan looked up and out at the joyful disarray in the living room. "And now ...," he sighed softly, the smile slowly returning. "Now, it kind of helps to know there's a good version of that smile out there in the world. A kinder version of those eyes ... " Logan trailed off, but his small smile remained. Remus opened his mouth, about to speak, when Logan sighed deeply, widened his smile and said, "Alright, they're going to be hungry. Let's finish this egg salad, then we can put the steaks and veggies on the grill."

Remus smiled back, nodding and swallowing his question. He stood at mock attention and saluted, "Yes, Chef!"

...

A few hours and one - minor - grill fire later, they all sat around the big wooden table on the back deck. Janus and Logan are talking quietly about a case when Patton's voice suddenly rang out above the overlapping conversations.

"You make video games?!" Patton's eyes were wide and his mouth hung open. "Dad, you didn't tell us you knew a video game developer!"

Logan head popped up, blinking in surprise. "I - I wasn't aware that I did." He looked over to Remus who shrugged and threw out jazz hands with a little grin as if to say 'guess who?'

"It looks like the cat is out of the bag, brother mine." Roman called out, laughing at the creeping blush on Remus' face. "Shall I?," he intoned with an air of mystery. Remus bowed his head and covered his eyes with one hand and gestured a quick "go ahead" with the other. Roman looked around the table, smiling at everyone's rapt attention. "My brother, the green-haired gremlin here, is not simply a mere software developer as he likes to profess. He is much more commonly known as the designer and developer of a little game called Limbo.

Logan glanced at Remus, who still covered most of his face with his hand, but his ears were decidedly pink. Logan turned to Roman, "Isn't that the black and white game you bought Remy a few years ago?" Roman nodded excitedly, beaming at his brother.

Virgil jumped in, "Dad, Limbo is the single greatest game ever made. You're on the edge of Hell and you have to figure out how to do impossible things and you die when you fail and have start all over again."

Logan cringed a bit at the description, but he now remembered seeing Remy and Virgil play the game for hours on end. He turned back to Remus, who had lowered his hand and fidgeted with his napkin, a small smile dancing on his face. "You should be proud of your work. However macabre, the game is quite striking." Logan smiled at Remus, leaning a little closer. ""Single greatest game ever made' is not a phrase thrown around lightly in this House of Gamers."

At Logan's words, Remus stopped fidgeting and his smile widened a bit. "I was afraid you would think my work was ... frivolous compared to yours," he murmured. Logan felt his cheeks warm and blinked at him, unsure of how to respond.

Remy looked thoughtful, "Wait, Limbo's made by Playdead ... they're in Coppenhaggen." He tilted his head and looked at Remus in what Remus thought was a spot-on impression of his father. "You're not Danish," he said, shaking his head, face slightly scrunched in a scowl.

Remus grins "Hej! Det er rart at møde dig, unge mand. Taler du også dansk?" Remy's face bloomed in a smile at the flawless Danish accent coming from the man. Remus gave one more apologetic shrug to Logan. "I design and code under pen names ... it just makes things easier."

"Dad, can we go play Limbo with Remus?," Remy begged. Patton had already run to Remus' side, attempting to pull him up and out of his chair. Even Virgil cracked a smile at the prospect of playing his favorite game with the actual creator of the game.

Logan looked at the smiles on all four faces and couldn't stop his laughter, "Yes, yes, of course. Just give him breaks, ok?"

...

Patton and Remy chattered excitedly as they led the way down the narrow staircase. Remus and Virgil followed close behind. At the bottom landing, they all spread out into the gaming room - an open, carpeted area with a large television at one end and a rowing machine at the other. A large, overstuffed couch sat in the middle, facing the screen and gaming consoles. While Patton and Remy vied for a spot on the couch, Virgil went to retrieve the controllers and set up the game. As he was reaching in to a large basket of gaming equipment, Virgil's long sleeve caught on the edge of the basket, raising it up just above the wrist. He quickly yanked the sleeve back down, looking quickly to his brothers to see if either noticed.

Patton and Remy were too busy arguing over who should get to sit where to notice. Remus, however, wasn't distracted. He had already noted both the fact that Virgil was wearing long sleeves and long pants in July, as well as the furtive tugging on his sleeves all throughout the day. Seeing the obvious concern Virgil had that someone might have seen whatever he was hiding was just the final confirmation. Remus would have to have a talk with Logan.

"Hey, Remus, wanna see me play?," Patton shouted, stirring Remus from his worry. Patton looked up at Remus, bouncing on the balls of his feet, controller gripped in his hands.

Remus smiled. He'll talk to Logan tonight. "You bet, buddy! Let's see what you can do!"

...

A comfortable silence fell over the room when the boys and Remus went downstairs to the game room. Logan met Janus' eyes and grinned, shaking his head slightly in stunned amazement. "What just happened?," he finally laughed.

"My brother, that's what happened," said Roman with a smile. "And you all think I'm the dramatic one."

Janus leaned over and cupped Roman's cheek with his hand, "We think that because you are the dramatic one, my dear. And we love you for it."

Logan leaned back in his chair, giving his oldest friends a moment to themselves. His gaze traveled back toward the staircase inside that led to the game room, thinking about how the boys had just glomed on to Remus like he hung the moon. He chuckled to himself, it's essentially the same thing in his sons' minds - the man creates video games. In a few short hours, Remus had managed to simultaneously keep up with Patton's excitability, gain Remy's respect, and make Virgil actually smile. He was efficient cook, as well. Perhaps he really did hang the moon.

Logan suddenly became aware of how quiet Janus and Roman had become. He looked up to see them both staring at him, lips turned upwards in little knowing smiles. "I'm sorry, did you ask me something?," Logan asked in confusion.

The two exchanged a glance. "Not at all," murmured Janus. "You looked lost in thought. Something on your mind?" Janus raised an eyebrow.

Logan leaned forward and opened his mouth to try to explain the thoughts running through his mind. Nothing came out and he felt a blush creeping up from his neck to his eyebrows. "Nothing, really," he finally said softly.

Janus narrowed his eyes slightly but didn't immediately reply. Roman nudged Janus' foot under the table, and Janus nodded slightly in acknowledgement. He took a careful sip from his water glass, then asked quietly, "How is everything else going? Have you heard from ... Kelly recently?" Janus tried and failed to keep the name venom-free.

Logan sighed and ran his hand through his hair, rubbing the back of his neck, feeling the small scar near the hairline. "Not recently, no. Apparently she had never paid her attorney's retainer from the divorce and he declined to represent her in this case." Logan pulled off his glasses, wet a clean napkin and polished the lenses. "Her new representation seems ... inadequate. He was unable to secure her a on a bond release and her finances are insufficient for the requested bail amount." Janus noted the sudden increased formality to Logan's speech but said nothing, waiting for more. "Last week, I petitioned the court for full custody."

Roman sighed in relief. "That's great, Lo! If you win you won't have to deal with her anymore!"

Janus looked closely at the way Logan's jaw muscles bunched and how his back was still ramrod-straight in the chair. "There's more to it than that, isn't there?"

Logan let out a breath he wasn't aware he'd been holding. He met Janus' eyes. "I'm worried about Virgil. He was the one who called the police when Kelly got in the car after drinking."

Roman gasped quietly, raising his hand over his mouth, eyes darting over to where the boys went downstairs. "Oh, poor Virge,"

Logan nodded, a burning starting behind his eyes. "He knows it was the right choice. But at the same time, he feels like it's his fault that his own mother is locked up and -," Logan put his head in his hands and Janus quickly rose and stood behind him, rubbing circles on Logan's back. Roman sat on Logan's other side, a gentle hand on his arm. Logan looked up after a few minutes, scrubbing away tears. He leaned against Roman's shoulder. "Whatever I have to do, I'm never letting her hurt us again."

...

Later that evening, after the fireworks, and after the boys have gone to, if not sleep, at least to their rooms, Logan and Remus were back in the kitchen, packing away leftovers. Remus twisted a dish towel in his hands, waiting for the perfect moment that simply wouldn't come. "Hey, Logan ... I need to talk to you about something."

Logan felt his shoulders tighten at the uncharacteristic hesitancy in the other's tone. He put down the dish in his hands and swallowed before trusting his voice. "Of course, Remus. Is there something I can assist you with?"

Something warm bubbled in Remus' chest at Logan's immediate willingness to offer help. "I'm actually hoping that I can help you. Or, more specifically, Virgil." Logan's eyes widened and he felt his breath catch in his throat. He nodded for Remus to continue. "I - I noticed today that Virgil seems to be very carefully keeping his arms covered. It's the middle of summer and he's covered up down past his wrists and ... " Remus looked carefully at Logan, gauging his reaction. "And there was a moment downstairs when his sleeve raised up a bit and he looked really panicked that someone might have seen whatever was under it." Logan was silent, so Remus continued. "I've seen this before in people who ... people who self harm."

"You think Virgil's cutting?," Logan asked quietly, rubbing his own wrist under his watchband. Remus quickly looked away, pretending not to notice, but nodded.

"I'm sorry to spring this on you, I know this can't be easy to hear. I just - " Remus took a breath, in for a penny, in for a pound, he thought. "I have had a lot of experience with this. The sooner he gets help, the better. Cutting can ... escalate quickly." Remus turned over his own left arm, allowing Logan a closer look at the Ginkgo tattoo. Up close, Logan could suddenly see that under the leaves were dozens of long scars. Logan raised his eyes to meet Remus'. Both were swimming in unshed tears. Logan remembered Remus' words months ago, " ... high school was pretty rough before I came out ... "

Logan nodded slowly. "I - I've been worried about Virgil since ... " Logan sighed shakily. "I'll make us an appointment. We've ... we've been through a lot lately." Logan leaned back hard against the counter, shoulders slumped, looking down at the floor. "Yeah, I'll ... " he whispered, but didn't continue.

Remus leaned against the counter next to Logan, not looking directly at the other, but not wanting to allow too much distance between them, either. "Listen, Logan, I know that you and Janus are really close ... I don't ... I just -, " Remus caught his upper lip in his teeth for a moment, considering his next words. He took another breath, "I just want you to know that if you ever needed another ear, or needed anything ... I'm here for you. For anything. " Remus looked like there was more he wanted to say, but just repeated, "I'm here for you."

Logan didn't quite know what to say. "I - I truly appreciate that, Remus. Thank you." He looked down at his hands. "I realize that a divorced father of three hardly fits in your usual circle of friends, but I - I hope you'll always consider me as such and know that my, well, figurative door is always open to you, as well."

Remus grinned at Logan. "Thanks, man. You know -, " before he could finish his next sentence, Roman called from the hallway "Remus Alexander Prince, I am exhausted. If you aren't in this car within the next thirty seconds, I will personally string you up by your toes!"

Remus winked at Logan and shouted back to his brother, "Do you promise?"

Remus turned back to Logan, his expression growing more somber. "What I was about to say was ... while these boys really ended up with a nightmare's excuse for a mother, they won the lottery with their father. Patton and Virgil and Remy are so lucky to have you as their dad. I hope you know that."

They could hear Roman's voice getting closer, "Twenty-six, twenty-seven, twenty-eight ... "

Logan jolted up in his bed, heart pounding and shaking all over. He swung his legs over the edge and flexed his toes in the thick pile of the rug beside his bed. His chest was tight and his breath caught in his throat. He rocked back and forth. Five things, five things, five things, five things, what do I see? Logan tried to focus his eyes, fighting to breathe. "I see my hands. I see my pajamas ... " he whispered to himself. He looked down. "I see my ... toes." Two more, two more, two more. "I see the rug. I see the closet door."

Four things ... four things I ... Logan grit his teeth, trying to focus. Four things I can feel. "The rug. The blanket. My teeth against my cheek." Logan rubbed the back of his neck. "My - my hair."

Three things I can hear. "I hear my voice."  -- I hear Kelly's voice --  Logan squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head. "No no no. I hear my voice. My voice ... I hear my breathing. I hear the fan from the heater." Logan felt his breathing and rocking slow just a bit.

Two things I can taste. Logan kept whispering to himself. It was helping. "Toothpaste at the corner of my mouth. Blood." Logan could just start to consciously slow his breathing now. One thing I can smell. He pressed his shirt to his face. He breathed in deeply. "Dryer sheets." Logan sat for several more minutes at the edge of his bed until he could feel his breathing return to near-normal and his teeth stop chattering. He held his hands out in front of him and could only see the smallest of tremors. He took a deep, shuddering breath, and let it out. One more, then he nodded, and stood to start his day.

...

Logan heard footsteps coming down the stairs as he snapped down the lid on the coffee maker. He turned and smiled as Virgil sauntered in to the kitchen. "Happy New Year, Virge!"

Virgil smiled a crooked smile and gave a half hug to Logan, "Happy New Year, again, Dad. You said that right after midnight last night, too" he grumbled mildly, still smiling. Logan would move the world for that smile. It was so good to see more of it lately.

Logan grinned evilly, straightening his tie in his best imitation of, well, himself. "As you may already be aware, the precise starting point of a new year is the subject of passionate disagreement and debate across various cultures. For instance, the Jewish New Year starts at sundown - "

"No, stop!," Virgil laughed. "It's too early in the morning for a lecture on comparative sociology and time metric ... stuff."

Logan smiled and pulled out a glass for Virgil and began to gather together the amber bottles of his medication. "Chocolate milk or regular?," he asked, standing at the refrigerator.

"Chocolate, please. Let's start the New Year sweet."

"I believe you opted to end the old year sweet, as well," Logan noted.

Virgil shrugged in mock dismissal. "What can I say, Dad? I'm consistent." He smiled a thanks to his dad as he handed him his morning pills and the glass of chocolate milk.

"Consistent?," Patton came running into the kitchen. "What's consistent?"

Virgil swallowed and chuckled. "You are, kiddo."

"I'm not a kiddo!" Patton's face grew bright pink. "I'm almost 12! You're a kiddo! You're drinking chocolate milk!"

Logan held up his hands to both boys, laughing and shaking his head. "First," he leaned in to hug Patton. "Happy New Year, Patton. Now, how about we consistently go get Remy and finish getting ready. Maybe then we can stop being consistently late for events at Uncle Janus and Uncle Romans?"

"Oh, right ... I forgot we were going to visit today!" Patton bounced up and down on the balls of his feet, excited hands dancing at his sides. "Hey, do you think Remus will be there? I want to show him the new book I got for Christmas!"

Logan's throat constricted but kept a smile glued on his lips. What's wrong with you, Logan? It was a dream. "I expect so. He still hasn't found a house he likes."

Remy chose that moment to shuffle down the stairs. "I think Remus just likes Romans' cooking but would rather die than admit it."

...

Several false starts, a lost boot, and, miraculously, only mild jockeying for "shotgun" later, Remy, Virgil, Patton, and Logan stood at Janus and Roman's doorstep, laden with New Year's champagne, orange juice, Doctor Who DVDs, and one oversized book on bio-luminescent sea creatures. Remy was closest to the doorbell and was about to ring when muffled shouting carried out to the front stoop.

"I can't believe you ... what I'm suggesting! ... a beautiful place and ... dry dock that year. This ... last chance to ... ," Roman's voice sounded tense.

Janus' much deeper but louder voice rumbled through somewhat less distinctly. "... getting out of hand. ... we're even fighting .... I'm merely suggesting ... extravagant ..."

Remy's eyes were wide when he looked at Logan. "Dad? Should we ...," Remy swallowed and started to step away from the door.

Logan squared his shoulders and pushed his glasses back up his nose. "I'm sure it's n-nothing." He pressed a smile onto his face as he looked at his sons' faces, all turned toward him. He took a deep breath and pressed the bell.

The voices inside suddenly grew quiet. In a few moments, Roman opened the door with a flourish, "Happy New Year, dear Sanders Clan! Welcome to 2020!"

There were hugs all around as Logan eyed Roman carefully. He seemed fine. However, Logan was well acquainted with how to make it look like everything was fine when reality was far from it. As they made their way deeper into the hall and started to get DVDs and the book placed on the coffee table and beverages tucked away into the refrigerator, Remus moved a little closer to Logan, his eyes narrowed, watching Logan and the boys carefully.

"Howdy, Lo, Happy New Year!" Remus greeted. The tone was casual, the use of the nickname was not. "You ... ok?"

Logan blinked twice and nodded, adjusted his glasses. "Of course. Happy New Year to you, as well. Excuse me for just a moment while I - " Logan's voice starts to crack. He turns and makes his way to the living room to attempt to bring order the chaos of his son's DVDs. Remus watched him for a moment before feeling someone step closer to him. He turned to see Remy fidgeting.

"Remy! Happy New Year! C'mon, come help me in the kitchen."

...

"Ok, man, fess up. What's got you and your dad so spooked?" Remus launched himself onto the kitchen counter and sat, swinging his legs back and forth. He patted the counter top next to him

Remy sighed but copied Remus' motion. He looked at Remus, about to shrug, but instead slouched and let out another deep sigh, mumbling, "We heard Uncle Janus and Uncle Roman yelling at each other."

Remus' brows knit together and he squinted, trying to remember a fight. He shook his head slightly, "Wha - When did this happen?"

Remy brushed his long bangs out of his eyes, "Just now, man. Right before we rang the bell."

He thought some more before suddenly exclaiming, "Ohhhh!" Remus' face bloomed in understanding. He wrapped an arm around Remy's shoulders and squeezed. "Yeah, they were getting kinda loud, but they're not actually mad at each other." Remus saw that Remus was avoiding meeting his eyes and his shoulders felt tense. "Hmmm... I'm thinking ... " Remus took a breath as Remy finally looked him in the eyes. "I'm thinking overhearing your uncles shouting might have brought back some pretty crappy memories, huh?" For you and your dad, I bet, Remus thought to himself.

Remy's eyes grew even wider and he froze, fidgeting hands suddenly completely still in his lap. "Yeah," he finally whispered. "How did you know?"

"It's the green hair. I can read your thoughts." Remy side-eyed him. Remus sighed a little, "It happens more than you'd think." Remus tugged at his mustache a bit before taking a deep breath and continuing. "When you've seen people you care about, people you love ... having really bad fights, it can make it hard to not feel the same things the next time you're around something that sounds a little bit like it." Remus met Remy's eyes again. "Does that make sense?"

Remy swallowed and nodded. "Yeah, yeah it does."

Remus leapt down from the counter. "C'mon, let's go talk to everybody. Let's get this out in the open." Remy looked uncertain. Remus fixed his eyes on the boy. "If you and your dad are this concerned about something, it's worth talking about." He kept his eyes locked on the other. Remus nodded, "Don't you think?," he asked.

Remy hesitated. "I don't want Uncle Janus or Uncle Roman to be mad that we were listening." Remus smiled gently and nodded again.

"Then all they have to know is that I think they were probably getting a little too loud and that they've got some 'splainin' to do." Remus winked at Remy. "Yeah?"

Remy smiled and winked back, nodding. "Yeah." He hopped down off the counter and wandered into the living room with Remus.

"Hey, Nerds!," Remus called out, winking to the three boys hovering near their dad and bowing to the four of them with a flourish. "And dudes." He turned back to Roman and Janus who were seated next to each other on the couch. "Oi, you two. We need to have a little extended family chat." Logan met Remus' eyes for a moment, eyebrows raised in a question. Remus grinned, speaking softly to Logan, "It's all good, I promise."

"You've captured our attention, Remus. The floor is yours...," Janus murmured, gesturing to the room.

"Neat! I've always liked this floor." Roman tapped his foot in a show of impatience. "A-ny-way. It appears that your little disagreement just a while ago potentially sounded considerably more venomous from the outside than it did to those of us on the inside." Roman and Janus shared matching expressions of confusion, brows furrowed, small frowns on their lips. Remus scoffed. "I'm saying that your old married couple airquotes discussion was so loud it could be heard outside." He looked pointedly at the aforementioned married couple and gestured with his eyes at the obvious tense body language of the eldest Sanders.

Roman was the first to catch on. "Oh, honeys, we're not really fighting!," He rushed over to the group and started pulling the boys and then Logan in for a crushing hug. He turned back to look at Janus, smiling, "Will you explain? I've got my arms full."

Janus stood, looking embarrassed. "I am very sorry we worried you all." He raised a hand as Logan opened his mouth to protest, looking right into his eyes. How could he have missed the fear in his best friend's eyes like that? Janus shook the thought from his head and smiled, placing a hand over his heart. "I am very sorry. Yes, we were likely caring very loudly at each other," Remus and Patton both giggled at the Parks and Rec reference, "But we're not actually angry." Janus sighed a bit, a blush creeping up his face. He licked his lips and paused, finally explaining. "We were discussing whether to plan a big, rather over the top party for our ninth wedding anniversary." He smiled apologetically at Logan, who sighed out a little laugh.

Roman had remained quiet for as long as he possibly could, "There's this big beautiful tall ship that does event rentals where we can have a grand party and dress up and -" He paused, blushing a little. "I'm a little excited about it. You were saying, Janus?"

Janus laughed, smiling adoringly at his husband. "But the ship will be in dry dock for our tenth anniversary, which is a more ... traditional anniversary for a large event."

"I'm ...," Logan began, unsure how to proceed. "Can I just say we're ... relieved? And," Logan shrugged a little, hands outstretched. He looked at each of his sons, seeing the excitement in their eyes. "And that if there's anything we can help you with, you've got a little army of helpers right here."

Roman walked back to where Janus was standing and beamed. "Have we sold you yet?"

Janus closed his eyes, smirked and then suddenly dipped Roman in a kiss. "I suppose you've successfully sold me, my dear," he muttered, shaking his head.

Patton and Remy erupted in cheers. Logan laughed and caught Remus watching him with unreadable eyes. Logan looked away as he felt his entire face erupt in a blush.

...

After brunch was finished, everyone gathered in the living room. Doctor Who played quietly on the television. Patton, Remy, and Remus were sprawled on the floor, murmuring to each other, turning pages in Patton's new book. Virgil and Janus sat on the couch, engrossed in the episode. Roman looked suspiciously close to dozing off next to them. Logan sat in front of the coffee table, thumbing through the new goal planner Remus gifted him as a late Christmas present.

Logan's phone rang. He looked up in surprise. Every one of his starred contacts were gathered in that room. The only other number that could break through his do-not-disturb settings would be -- Logan looked down at his phone and swallowed hard. King County Adult Corrections Facility appeared on his caller ID. Hands shaking, Logan pressed the answer button and rose quickly, moving to the kitchen so he wouldn't disturb the others.

Remus, who also knew about Logan's starred contact list, heard Logan's phone ring and noticed his sudden escape to the kitchen. He sat up, watching closely.

A recording played through the earpiece. "This is a collect call from It's Kelly let me talk to my children at King County Adult Corrections Facility. Do you accept the charges?"

Logan breath hitched painfully in his chest, "Yes, I accept." Logan paused for a moment to let the call finish connecting. "Good afternoon, Kelly," he said as neutrally as he could manage.

"Brrr. If I'd know I'd get such an icy reception from you I would have worn an extra sweater."

"I am merely surprised by your call. We haven't heard from you in nearly a year. I will see if the boys are available."

"Oh come off it, Logan. I know you're not busy. It's New Year's Day. Your little gay friends are probably over, nursing hangovers with hair-of-the-dog mimosas, the boys are watching Doctor Who and you're fucking around with a new datebook." Her voice growled over the fuzzy connection. "I know you. Just put my boys on, there's a line behind me for the phone."

Logan adjusted his glasses and moved further into the kitchen before taking a deep breath and responded quietly. "Kelly, I would appreciate a bit more resp-"

"Are you trying to prevent me from speaking to my own children?," Kelly interrupted.

He bit the inside of his cheek and slowly breathed out through his nose. "No, of course not. That would not be in compliance with our agreed upon parenting plan. Just one moment, I'm putting you on speaker phone." Logan pressed at the screen on his phone, holding it out as he walked closer to the couch. "Boys ...," He waited until they had paused the DVD and he had their attention. "Your mother is on the phone and would like to wish you a Happy New Year."

Remy made a sour face at the phone. Patton grabbed the phone from Logan's hand, shouting, "Mom! Hi, Guess what? I have a new book on undersea creatures and bio-luminescence and it's really cool."

"Mm-hm. That sounds really nice, honey," Kelly's voice murmured from the phone's speaker. Janus' eyes shot daggers at the phone in Patton's hands but he stayed silent. Instead, he moved a little closer to Logan on the couch.

"Yeah, and there's a giant poster of an angler fish in the middle that I'm going to take out and put up on my ceiling,"

"Uh-huh," Kelly murmured.

"It's gonna be so cool. And Remus said he knows where we can get some glow in the dark paint to make the lure glow in the dark, too!"

Logan held his breath as he waited for the explosion of questions from Kelly. "Who's Remus?"

The explosion never came. "Hmm. yeah, that sounds really cool, honey." Logan realized she wasn't actually listening to Patton's words and he felt his heart constrict. "Hey, honey, is Virgil around? Or Remy?"

Patton looked up at his brothers. Remy shook his head. Virgil frowned but answered, "Hi, Mom. How's the Slammer?" Remy choked back a laugh. Logan looked over at Remus, who was similarly red-faced, covering a chuckle. Virgil smirked.

"Is that how you greet your mother?" Kelly's voice was dangerously low.

"It's just a joke, Mom." Virgil shrugged at the others, rolling his eyes. "How are you doing?"

"I miss you all so much." Logan's jaw tightened as he looked at conflicting emotions wash over his sons' faces.

"Yeah, we miss you, too," Virgil muttered. Remy remained silent.

"Yeah, Mom, when you get out I'll show you all the new posters I put up." Patton jumped back in to the conversation. "Hey, and maybe you can help us plant a tree in the backyard to the replace the one that fell during the big storm! We're going -"

"Listen, honey, my time is up. I need to go now. Kisses to everyone! I love yo-" Remy reached over and hit the 'end call' button. He raised an eyebrow at his dad, I know you wanted to ... clearly painted across his face.

The boys stared at each other as Patton quietly returned Logan's phone to his hand. Logan opened his arms and Patton dove in for a hug. Logan looked up at Remy and Virgil, "Free hugs, right here!" Both boys joined the hug. They stayed like that for a few minutes before Patton started to fidget. Janus, Roman, and Remus shared a look, each wondering what to do about the growing tension flowing off of Logan in waves.

Remus spoke first. "You know what ..." he drawled slowly. "I just so happen to know where there's a top secret new game that needs some alpha testers ..."

He'd barely gotten the words out before the boys erupted in excitement. Patton, as usual, found his voice first. "What? You're working on a new game? Please can we see it? We swear we won't tell anyone! We swear, we swear, we swear!" Remus laughed.

"Oh, I didn't think you boys would be interested." Remus teased, drawing out his words, keeping one eye on Logan. "Well, if you really want to take pity on an old game dev, I feel almost obligated to share it with you ... Brother, dear, would be at all willing to take the boys downstairs and show them the game in the PS5?"

This time, Virgil's eyes grew wide. "No way, dude. You have a PS5 already? It hasn’t been released yet! Let's go!"

Remus touched his brother's arm as he passed, whispering "thank you," in his ear. Roman gestured grandly as if to say "of course!"

"C'mon you little gamers. Let's go check out my brother's new game. Five bucks to whoever finds the first bug!" Roman looked back at Remus, Janus, and Logan and bowed with a flourish, closing the door to the staircase behind him.

...

The moment the door closed, Logan collapsed into a chair. He couldn't rid his mind of the sight of his boys gathered around a cell phone, talking to their locked up mother. This wasn't how he'd planned it. This wasn't the way it was supposed to be.

"Did I miscalculate?," he finally asked. Remus and Janus exchanged a glance over Logan's head. Logan looked up at the two of them, head swiveling between their faces. Remus saw how his jaw muscles were flexing, fighting to keep control. Logan swallowed. "I'm asking this genuinely. Did I miscalculate?" Logan looked cautiously at Remus, images from his earlier nightmare flashing across his vision. "Should I have just tried harder? Found - found a better way to manage ... Maybe ... maybe if I had been stronger I wouldn't have ...," Logan tried to slow his breathing, counting breaths in and out. Finally he blurted out, "Maybe if I was stronger, I wouldn't have broken up my family."

"Oh, Lo," Remus murmurs, "You didn't break up your family, that nasty ass Kelly did."

Logan rubbed the back of his neck at the sound of her name. Janus noticed. "Logan," he said carefully, "how did you get the scar you're touching right now?" Logan froze as Remus whipped his head around. He'd also picked up on Logan's nervous tic of rubbing the back of his neck when he talked about Kelly, but he'd never noticed a scar.

He slowly lowered his hand onto his lap. "You know how I got it, Jan," Logan's voice was low.

"Yes, I do," Janus paused for a moment, choosing his next words carefully. "I know how you got it because I'm the one who brought you to the hospital that night because you didn't want to scare the boys with an ambulance arriving at their home." Janus' eyes burned with tears as he looked into Logan's eyes. "I need you to say it," he said quietly.

Remus sat down next to Logan and held out his hand, hoping Logan would take it.

Logan closed his eyes and lowered his head, but held Remus' hand. He took a short breath, "I was injured when the back of my head struck the edge of our coffee table."

Janus raised an eyebrow. "After?"

He swallowed and cleared his throat, voice still quiet and now a little husky. Remus noticed how Logan had slipped into his ultra-formal word patterns and could see how his jaw trembled. "After Kelly shoved me during an altercation regarding my late arrival home from a Bar Association conference." Logan stared down at his lap, refusing to meet either man's eyes.

"And what about the scar on your left palm?," Janus continued quietly. Remus made a small choked sound but didn't interrupt.

Logan looked down at the hand holding Remus'. He could see the faint line on his ring finger where the burn had spread all the way around, the searing heat conducted by the metal of his wedding ring. Logan took a measured breath. "That scar is from an incident in which Kelly threatened to burn herself with a hot curling iron and I attempted to prevent her from doing so."

Janus reached over and carefully touched the side of Logan's cheekbone, near his right eye. "And what about this scar?," he whispered.

He turned his face away, trying to hide from their view and the memory, but he answered Janus' question. "That scar -," Logan's voice wavered. He swallowed and tried again. "That scar is from the time Kelly threw a law book at me. It struck my face and broke my glasses." Logan squeezed his eyes shut but he couldn't block out her voice.  " ... You care more about those fucking **** than you do about me! ... "

Janus gently turned Logan's face back toward him and met his eyes. "Lo, this is what abusers do. If she had thrown a textbook at your face on the first day you met, you would have called campus security and never had another thing to do with her," Janus bit the inside of his lip and then continued. "But when she did it to you thirteen years into your marriage, you apologized to her." He took a careful breath before speaking again. "Logan ... even before she began to hurt you physically ...," Janus shook his head. "Lo, I've heard the things she would say to you. And when she wasn't belittling you, she would try to bait you into a fight ... "

Logan closed his eyes and Kelly's voice filled his head.

" ... Oh, brother, Mr. Snowflake SJW over here ... You know I didn't mean it ... " " ... If you really loved me ... " " ... How could you say that to me? ... " " ... Dammit, Logan, just man up already! ... "

"Lo ... ?" Remus' quiet voice brought him back to the present. Logan opened his eyes to see Janus and Remus looking at him with worried eyes. He fought to control the tremble in his mouth. "Lo, we're here with you. You're safe." Remus turned to Janus. "Back off, Jan, ok? He's had enough."

"No. No, he's right," Logan drew in a shaky breath, held it, and slowly let it out. "Janus, you're right."

"What we're trying to say here, Lo, is that you were right. You were right to get out when you did." Janus crouched in front of Logan and leaned close to wrap his arms around him. "You think you needed to be stronger? You've already been so strong, Lo. You have survived so much. You did everything you could to protect yourself and your sons and when you couldn't protect them there anymore, you got out." Remus nodded, gently squeezing Logan's hand between his own.

Janus looked up at him and waited until Logan met his eyes. "You did the right thing. She showed you who she really is time after time after time. She's still doing it. She did it again today. Yes ...," Janus nodded, "She's clearly broken. But it's not your job to fix her and it's certainly not your job to get hurt trying to do it."

Logan sucked in a deep breath and was reaching for the doorbell when he heard a loud voice and the door suddenly swung open.

"I told you, he parked outside ten minutes ago. What's taking him so - " A strikingly tall man with neon green curls was shouting over his shoulder as he yanked the door open before turning in surprise to face him. Logan flinched back in shock and started to fall back down the steps when the stranger grabbed his wrist and pulled him back up and away from the edge. "Oh, falling me for me already?" he murmured, smiling down at Logan.

"Remus! Can you control your flirting for five minutes?" Roman's only-partially serious voice called out from the hallway. "At least let us properly greet our guest before you start!" Roman approached the doorway and smiled broadly at Logan. "Hi, Logan, Hun, it's good to see you." He released Remus' grip on Logan and hip-checked his brother out of the doorway, pulling a red-cheeked Logan in for a hug. "Oh, and you've brought my favorite wine!" Roman looked back into the house and called out, "You were right, Janus, he brought the Riesling!" Roman turned back to Logan, urging him in and out of the unseasonable cold. "Come in, come in! You've already met my brother Remus."

Remus half-bowed and smirked at Logan, "Don't worry, I don't bite ... " Remus waggled his eyebrows, "Unless you ask nicely, of course."

Roman rolled his eyes and elbowed his twin. "Stop it." He turned back to Logan, who was following him into the living room, "my brother likes to put on a show for new people, but he's all talk. And he'd flirt with an umbrella rack if given half a chance."

The latter sentence was directed at Remus, who mimed an arrow to the chest. "Brother mine, oh, how you wound me. Besides, I believe dear Logan and I have already met ... at your wedding."

Logan blinked, recalling the many groomsmen at Janus and Roman's wedding. He turned to look at Remus with fresh eyes, remembering. "Oh, yes." Logan nodded slowly, biting his bottom lip in concentration. "I do remember you. Your hair was ... quite different then."

Remus flipped his hair back and squinted his eyes at his brother. "Yes. Yes, it was. Roman here didn't want anything to clash with his colors." Remus scrunched his nose and winked at Logan. "He threatened to keep me out of the procession entirely if I didn't dye my hair a mousy brown."

Roman opened his mouth to retort and Logan's could feel his own lips start to curve upwards. Oh, yes, he remembered this brother. "Mousy? Mousy? Are you calling my hair - " Janus emerged from the kitchen and leaned in to kiss Roman's cheek, interrupting what promised to be a spirited defense of his signature locks.

"Let's all sit down while the food is still warm."

...

Some time later, the four of them sat around the table, nursing second glasses of wine. Logan sighed happily, trying to ignore Janus' 'I told you so' expression. "So, Remus, Janus mentioned you've recently been abroad? What brings you here?"

Remus rested his elbow on the table, hand cradling his jaw. He gestured vaguely with his other hand. "Oh, like half of Seattle, I suppose, I write software." Roman cleared his throat as though to say something but was silenced by a quick look from Remus.

"That sounds fascinating," Logan replied. "And challenging ..."

Remus smiled, "Oh, I enjoy it. Software engineering is like spending all day on puzzles." Remus met Logan's eyes. "And I like a puzzle." Logan's mouth suddenly went dry and he quickly sipped at his wine. "And you, Logan? You work with Janus." It wasn't a question.

"Yes - ," Logan licked his lips and nodded, adjusting his glasses. He forced his voice back down an octave. "Yes, Janus and I have practiced law together for very nearly fifteen years now."

Remus nodded, humming in agreement. "You've done some incredible work there." Logan blinked in surprise, mouth slightly opened.

"H-how - wha-what do you mean?" Logan stuttered and tilted his head, seemingly unaware that he mirrored the tilt of Remus' own head.

Remus jerked his shoulder toward Roman and Janus. "These two are card-carrying Logan Sanders Fan Club members. They won't stop talking about you." Logan felt his face warm and he looked away. Remus just grinned.

Janus coughed, catching Remus' eyes with a pointed look. "There was an actual question you wanted to ask Logan, wasn't there?"

Logan looked up just as Remus flipped his hair - he does that a lot, Logan noted - and leaned back in his chair. "Yes, there was. I've recently made some significant changes to my employment status," Roman raised his eyebrow at this, but didn't elaborate. Remus continued, "And I need to update my residency paperwork. It's tedious, but mistakes can be costly. I was going to ask my dear brother in law for assistance, but ... "

"But it would be a conflict of interest because I am a beneficiary to some of his holdings," Janus completed Remus' sentence.

"I was going to say but then I'd be forced to buy your silence with a bribe ... or at least the threat of fratricide." Remus grinned at Janus' eye roll. Remus turned back to Logan, leaning forward and meeting his eyes again. "So ... would you be willing to help me out?"

Logan blinked - his eyes are the same shade of green as his hair, his brain less than helpfully supplied - "Yes, of course. I'd be happy to."

Janus and Roman exchanged a quick pleasantly surprised glance.

...

At one o'clock on the dot, Remus pressed the doorbell at Logan's home. Logan greeted him at the door and ushered him in toward the kitchen table, where he had set up his laptop, some notepads and a few pencils, and a printed checklist. Remus looked over the list and whistled softly. "Wow. Janus wasn't kidding. I'm in good hands here." Remus bit back the suggestive follow up that popped into his head - you promised Roman you'd lay off the flirting, he reminded himself - and tried to distract himself. He turned to Logan and looked at him, appraisingly. "Nice tie," he said with a smile.

Logan managed to simultaneously narrow his eyes and raise an eyebrow at the grinning man, and adjusted his glasses. "However I suppose it would look nicer on your bedroom floor?"

Remus choked a bit but recovered quickly. "I personally would have gone with 'but it would look nicer tied to my bedpost,' but we could use yours." He cleared his throat and looked away. "I was ... actually being serious. The Pacific Northwest is a little too casual for my tastes." Remus shrugged. "I miss ties." He looked up again, meeting Logan's eyes with a kind smile.

"I - I apologize. I didn't intend -," Logan opened and closed his mouth again, brow furrowed. He adjusted his glasses again. "Perhaps we should just get started." Remus nodded, pulling out a chair and sprawling over it. Logan squared his shoulders and fought to remember his manners. "Can I get you something to drink? Coffee? Tea?"

Remus decided he needed an award for not finishing the man's question with 'Me?'

"Regular black tea would be great, thank you," he said instead.

Tea in hand, the two pulled down Remus' documents from his cloud drive and started through Logan's checklist. They quickly worked through the basic residency updates, and completed the conversion documents for most of Remus' holdings. "I'll need to ask you some questions for this next section to determine which forms to use." Logan looked up at Remus to ensure he had his consent to continue. "Any dependents? Children or other dependent family members?"

"I'm betting a co-dependent drama queen twin doesn't count?," Remus joked.

Logan chuckled, "No, I wouldn't include Roman in that category. Children, wards, anyone you're financially supporting."

"Nope," Remus popped the 'p'. "Juuuust me."

"Spouse or alimony recipient?," he asked carefully. Logan sat up perfectly straight, desperate to hide his discomfort with the topic of divorce.

"None at all. Came close a few times to popping the question, and was asked more than once, but ... " His eyes drifted up and caught Logan staring at him. Remus slowly looked away, grinning. "But I've never actually taken the plunge. Roman and Janus are my only beneficiaries, along with a few charities."

Logan hummed in response and typed a few words into a search box and ticked off the boxes for the beneficiary forms they would need.

"This is genuinely quite impressive, you know," Remus finally broke the silence. Logan looked up, eyes wide in surprise and a little confusion. Remus sought to explain. "That you have all of this so ... organized. I thought you specialized in - "

"I specialize in social justice law and also practice family law on a pro bono basis." Logan completed automatically, maintaining eye contact and hoping his warming face wasn't obvious.

Remus' eyes were soft as he smiled back at him. "Exactly. I'm impressed that even outside your rather broad specialties you're so ... knowledgeable."

Logan swallowed and looked down at his hands still resting on the keyboard. He adjusted his glasses and shook his head a bit, "it's nothing, really. I ... " He took a deep breath and slowly let it out. "I recently had to update my own will and insurance beneficiary paperwork ... after my - " Logan swallowed again. "After my divorce." He took a sip of his tea. "I merely used my own checklist as a template for yours and expanded it based on what I already knew about your new situation."

For once, Remus was nearly speechless. Janus and Roman had warned him that Logan was a little fragile - hence his promise to cut back on the habitual flirting - but the pain running underneath Logan's formal words was unmissable and heartbreaking to see up close. Again, Remus was nearly speechless. Remus stared at Logan for a moment and suddenly blurt out, "so how did you and your ex meet?"

Logan's head jerked over and he locked eyes with Remus at his question. Remus opened his mouth to apologize but stopped when Logan started to laugh. After a minute or two, he said, gasping a bit, "you're - you're the first - the first person to refer to Kelly as my 'ex.'" Logan ran a hand through his hair, shaking his head from side to side. "My ex," he said quietly, like he was trying out how the words felt in his mouth. He smiled sadly and turned in his chair to face Remus.

"It was your typical geeky storybook meeting. We were first year students at UW. We both reached for the same clipboard on the Fight Global Warming table and ... " Logan scoffed a bit, rubbing at the back of his neck. "And she asked me out for a coffee."

"Wait," Remus interrupted, "'Global Warming'? Old school, much?"

Logan chuckled, shaking his head ruefully. "It was the halcyon days of nineteen hundred and ninety-five. That's before the big rebrand to Climate Change. Not that it's helped much."

Remus grinned. "So you've always been a rabble-rouser."

"I suppose so," Logan mused quietly.

"Hmmm...," Remus hummed happily. "I like troublemakers." Logan blushed and then grew quiet, lost in the memory, wondering what his life would be like now if they hadn't reached for that clipboard at the same moment. Wondering if there was anything he could have done to stop everything from going so wrong so quickly.

Remus noticed Logan's darkening expression and tried to pull him back into the conversation. "So ... who stole your heart before her?"

Logan fidgeted and looked down at the keyboard. He straightened his back in the chair and shrugged. "There, um ... there wasn't anyone before Kelly. I, uh," Logan sucked in a deep breath. "I was ... I was too busy in high school to really think about ...," he gestured at nothing. "I had stage crew and debate team ... math club ... you know how it is."

Remus eyes grew softer and something stirred deep inside his chest. He nodded slowly, the pieces to this puzzle slowly clicking into place. "Yeah. Yeah, actually I do." He sought out Logan's eyes. "No crushes at all?," he asked gently. The tips of Logan's ears turned pink but he shook his head, refusing to meet the other's eyes.

"No," Logan said finally. Remus rubbed at his mustache while he watched Logan resume typing. Logan suddenly spoke up, "What about you? What was your high school life like?"

He chuckled without humor. "Yeah, high school was pretty rough until I came out. And then ... well, you can imagine. It wasn't exactly easier, just ... " Remus shrugged. "Freer. I could be myself." Remus pointedly looked away from Logan, and could feel the other's eyes watching him. "At least we weren't alone. Roman and I always had each other's backs." Remus smiled broadly now, remembering the days after graduation. "And college got a lot better." Remus waggled his eyebrows suggestively. "And a lot more fun." Logan wouldn't look directly at him. Remus opened his mouth as though to say something else but noticed the tension in Logan's jaw and then closed it again.

After a few long moments, Logan took a deep breath and opened his mouth only to be Interrupted by his phone. Na na na na na na na na na na na ... Remus grinned at the MCR ring tone. Logan picked up the phone, frowning, "I'm sorry, it's Virgil. He virtually never calls. I need to take this." Remus nodded and stood to clear their empty cups and to give him a simulacrum of privacy.

"Wait, Virgil, honey, slow down ..." Logan paused as he listened to his son on the phone. His mouth hung open and his face went deathly white. "Where are you? ... Ok, ok, and the police are there right now? ... Ok, ok, I'll be right there. ... Just - just hang tight, I'll be right there, Virge. I love you!" Logan ended the call and stared at the phone for a moment before going to open the hall closet, gathering his shoes, keys, and jacket.

Remus looked at Logan with widened eyes. "That sounded bad. Is Virgil ok?"