So, the documentary in The Long Game about Shane and Ilya’s rivalry. What a fucking embarrassment for ESPN and everybody involved in its creation!
You direct a sports documentary about two of the greatest hockey players in the world. And how they were bitter rivals but eventually became friends and even started a charity together. It’s good, juicy, it gets excellent ratings, and is possibly award winning. The future is bright.
ESPN’s publicists keep talking about how you had unprecedented levels of access to these superstars, and meticulously combed through over a decade of footage of them. The only thing viewers grumble about is that they still don’t know why Ilya Rozanov left Boston for Ottawa. It’s the one mystery of their rivalry that you couldn’t unravel. But overall, the reactions are very positive. A professional triumph for you.
And then only a month later, the whole world (including you) is astonished to find out that these heated rivals have been in a serious and secret romantic relationship for years!!! And you missed the whole thing! One (1) month ago.
The documentary would quickly go from jewel in the crown to albatross around the neck of everybody involved in it. Because you did all this research, you had all this access, and yet you didn’t have a clue. They’re together? They’re getting fucking married? Ilya Rozanov moved to Ottawa because he was more in love with Shane Hollander than he was with being on a cup winning team?
Oh my God, ESPN would be contemplating destroying every copy of the documentary they commissioned, and which had great ratings. Everybody involved in making it has to log into LinkedIn and delete it from their professional history.
Hockey fans keep rewatching it, but not because they like it anymore. Because they can’t believe not even the professionals figured it out, and are looking for clues. The director will be strongly considering flying to Canada to murder both his documentary subjects.
