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#onlyingotham are you routinely expected to interact with supervillains while being paid minimum wage. the procedure dealing with condiment king is literally written into the Batburger employee training manual. We're meant to direct him to the expired tub of ketchup and mustard so he can stock up. #hazardpaywouldbenice
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so it maybe took me awhile to recognize that you're url was probably not pronounced dick-to-fen and was more likely should be read as dickt-ofen, which makes MUCH more sense ʅ(ツ)ʃ
HAHAHA you give me too much credit, it is absolutely a dick joke
it’s based on Richtofen from CoD: Zombies, who’s absolutely awful in every way that a character can be awful (AKA my character type). in-game, the teammate who hates him the most calls him DICK-tofen on more than one occasion, which is fitting
Wait, I don't understand! Could Johnny not cook between Captain America and the She-Hulk because they obviously have mad cooking skillz? Or because they were distracting attractive? Or because he was squished in between their impressive muscles and couldn't cook properly? There is an obvious answer here but I just don't know it. Anyway, I loved your fic. It was hilarious whatever the answer to Johnny's cooking dilemma :)
ah, thanks!!!
and definitely the muscles thing! that phone booth is really cramped when you stick three normal sized human beings into it? now think about johnny sandwiched in between Uber Buff sam wilson and Literal Hulk jennifer walters
(plus, jen can muscle them both around and probably made sure she got more time at her station than either of them did at theirs)
(possibly combined)
Got an internship at the mayor’s office. Guess who’s fine government official is blackmailing the CDC inspector to keep quiet about the fear toxin and joker venom contaminating the city’s water supply. #ThisExplainsALot #BlowingThisShitWideOpen #OnlyInGotham
to help an anon out. rant about the way johnny hates ice skating because of the way he accidentally melts the ice. it's no prob getting out again of course, he just melts it again and bobs up through the hole in the ice. but man is it embarassing. Decidedly UNCOOL (pun intended). And yes Pete does save pics of Johnny drenched in the middle of an ice rink for the Christmas card.
Nah, Johnny totally hates ice skating because he’s way more graceful in the air than out, and his ankles always go all buckly and his knees too and Ben and Franklin make fun of him while Sue tows him in circles around the rink at Rockefeller Center. Val doesn’t help when she valiantly tries to explain the physics of it.
How Peter gets it on the front page of all the FF’s fansites, too, Johnny will never know, but he has so many regrets as a soon-to-be-widower.
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tiny faeries dick and tim making an astonishingly big mess and jason is flabbergasted and bemused, muttering that he thought the fae were supposed to be helpful around the house. "we're not brownies, jay!" tim squawks, and flies off to sulk in a corner with dick, because clearly they're prettier and more talented than some stupid ol' brownies. jason shouldn't even be comparing them to each other.
Oh my gosh how precious.
Imagine how cute sulking fae Tim and Dick must be.
And Jason has to apologize or they’re not gonna talk to him for like a week. And boy can they be annoying and persistent when they’re angry.
And let’s be real Jason would be really sad if he woke up and his face wasn’t covered in adorable fairies.
for the meme! roy with geometric tattoos that mirror the design of circuits and gears. jason with iris' and yellow dandelions twining around his shoulders and down his arms. basically, the boys all tatted up (:
I can do a single rating for both of these because Roy & Jason always rate the same in my world anyway
Not My Type | Alright | Cute | Adorable | Pretty | Gorgeous | LORD MERCY
The trash husbands are everything. Add on more tattoos (aaaaand maybe some metal) and they just. Blow my mind.
purple grey and green ^‿^
♬(ノ゜∇゜)ノ♩♫ヽ(゜∇゜ヽ)♪
