“ how do you enter a sexual realm “ 

where do you want to go ? what role does it play for you ? what’s your signaling ritual?

a fantasy relationship begins as: divine presence, impossibility that opened up, that u didn't know existed, a meeting with yourself -- more than anything else - mediated through another - in a way you didn't know you. The obstacles absolve. Its in the margin. separate from life. its a disassociation.

about longing, yearning, loss. 

Have you ever had a bladder or yeast infection?

Or sporadic vaginal or pelvic pain?

Or dryness that appears only with your partner, but not when you’re alone?

Maybe you’ve felt ‘dead inside’ for years and then suddenly you find yourself pulsing with desire?

These are not random events, these are clear messages from our inborn erotic intelligence.

It is a way in which our inner knowing is translated into an external, verifiable proof that something is either “off or on” about our life choices.

In fact, these messages are so accurate, so shameless in their truth that after two decades of study, practice, teaching and research, one of the core themes that keeps emerging and one that I always emphasize, is that: Your yoni* never, EVER lies.

This may seem odd at first, so allow me to share with you what I believe to be a fundamental truth of our erotic wisdom.

We all possess an erotic intelligence—a capacity to discern what does and doesn’t enliven us to our core.

I’m not just talking about sex.

I’m talking about all of you and sex is only one part of that equation.

We are psycho-sexual beings, whether or not we believe in this or even understand it.

This means that your psyche is intimately and innately interwoven with your sexuality.

They are, in fact, inseparable. Yet we spend most of our life believing, or at least behaving, like they are separate.

Just as breathing is not isolated to only our lungs, but is essential for the life of the cells in our entire body, our sexuality and psyche do not exist in isolation, but deeply inform the aliveness of who we are as a human being.

This is worthy of celebration as it means that how we feel and perceive isn’t separate from our aliveness.

It means that everything we experience, acknowledge or ignore touches the very essence of our being.

And when I say “Your Yoni Never Lies” I mean that the state of our genitals reflects the state of our psyche.

Imagine that it’s like having a fail-proof compass that guides us through life.

The only problem with this compass is that we tend to either ignore the messages or we want to eradicate them with the latest and greatest pills, creams, and procedures.

We’d rather pay for a quick fix than stop long enough to genuinely listen to what our body is screaming at us.

Yet why not stop? Even for but a moment, to truly listen?

It is in that moment that we’ll access tremendous wisdom and solutions that may normally have eluded us when we were pretending that there’s no connection between our feelings, choices and our body’s health.

I’d like to invite you, for the next 21 days, to imagine that what I say could be true, imagine that you do indeed have a compass within, one that never lies.

Each day, take a moment to place a hand on your heart and one on your genitals and just breathe, relaxing deeply into both of these places.

When you feel your awareness is centered into yourself, ask your yoni, “What would you love me to know?”.

Listen and take action, even if it moves you toward a difficult choice.

If you have an imbalance, you can also ask, “What is needed so that I can return to balance?”

If you have never spoken to your body, let alone listened to her, this can seem odd, boring, or just plain woo-woo.

But try it anyway.

I’ve personally practiced and shared this tiny piece of wisdom for a long time and it never grows old.

In fact, women keep reporting back to me that new layers of wisdom unveil themselves the more they contemplate this idea.

To support yourself in connecting with this wise, inner compass, write down “My Yoni Never Lies” on a sticky note and place it where you can easily see it or perhaps put it in your daily reminders and see what happens as you consider this as a possibility for yourself.

Discovering that our yoni has a voice and learning to listen to and trust this internal guidance always results in more self-love.

And more self-love always moves us towards more joy, pleasure, and the realization of our gifts in this World.

To make this real, I invite you to leave a comment below about how you feel about having this incredible ‘internal compass’. As a bonus, you may delight in sharing a message that you feel you clearly have heard and listened to as well.

If you’d love to more fully understand your yoni’s messages, I’d recommend reading my book, The Emergence of the Sensual Woman as a great place to start.