The fleas are cute
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The fleas are cute

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I missed a ton of npc interactions in shadow of the erdtree which meant I'd often have them say things referring to a conversation we'd never had which was confusing, however this did lead to one of my favorite moments when I found Leda somewhere and she just says hmm wonder who I should kill next. and I'm like. girl what. who the fuck have you been killing??? and she's like actually now that I have my free will back I've decided I hate people and also Ansbach needs to die. and I'm just like hello??????? ma'am????? what is happening here????? funniest shit ever. diversity win the homicidal hater of the group is a woman
so why DID marika actually shatter the elden ring (incorrect answers only)?
elden beast kept doing its business on her favorite carpet
selfcest kink scene gone wrong
patches told her to
that was actually rennala in a wig getting her revenge
got blackout drunk at girls night and varre dared her to
insurance fraud
maybe the real reason marika smashed the elden ring was that was the first year her title as ms most problematic in the lands between was challenged (by ranni) and she just grabbed a hammer and started hitting shit until she was really sure she was in the lead again

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press F to get so mad you explode
lingering questions and thoughts on the dlc lore
first off, some of these may have been addressed in item descriptions and i either 1) missed an item or 2) read it but it was 3am and my brain didn't retain some detail
all opinions are just opinions etc, i have no interest in getting in lore fights and block people who try and start them. I'm too tired for that shit. this is just fun speculation
one question i had that i feel must have been answered was what was the scadutree actually for?
what was the timeline regarding messmer and melina's birth? they're referred to together as if they're twins or were born close together. my assumption was that messmer at least was radagon's kid with marika, but the dialogue of the story trailer implies his purge took place shortly after marika's ascension. marika could have split off radagon fairly early (even as part of the process of becoming a god like miquella and st trina) but there was no mention of them having kids until after the rennala thing much later on. my assumption about his parentage is based on 1) hair color and 2) he has a special curse which gives him something in common with malenia/miquella. he is not an empyrean though so maybe radagon isn't the dad (did you fuck the god devouring snake marika????)
i don't want to touch on the miquella and radahn stuff too much since I'm not interested in The Discourse. (i found the parts of the story about marika and the hornsent to be far more interesting). i will say that while the radahn thing felt like it came out of nowhere, the reason miquella didn't choose malenia is probably because 1) she's another empyrean and therfore a candidate for being a god, not a lord, and 2) she's already been claimed by a god. godwyn would have been the more lore logical choice but he didn't even get a mention, like "miquella wanted him but his soul was gone". so weird choice (and bad boss fight) but eh
i'm not sure if miquella's two fingers is ever commented on but he and ranni both followed a similar path in abandoning their flesh to remove themselves from the greater will's influence except ranni then went feral and stabbed hers to death and then got engaged while still covered in its blood. 10/10 no notes
one thing I'd wanted but hadn't expected to get was the reason marika smashed the ring. the whole "woman went crazy because her son died" thing is very grrm and 😬 about what i expect from how his writing handles women, BUT! i think the dlc gives a more complicated possibility for this. marika gets her tragic backstory (which i was also dreading because grrm) and it's one that actually made a lot of sense in terms of the lore and did a good job explaining her actions without justifying them (she slapped the cycle of violence on the roof and was like this bad boy can fit so much perpetuation). the fact she removed death from the elden ring after having witnessed the brutal extermination of her people makes complete sense. and then her son gets killed. she obtained godhood to punish the hornsent and to protect what was left of her people (which seems to mostly be the children she had later) and the elden ring failed her and her kid died. it wasn't grief over her son, so much as past trauma mixed with extreme anger. she took on godship to prevent this and the elden ring had failed her. it had one job basically. radagon, who lacked her memories, was immune to this. overall i think that's a decent plot compared to what it could have been
the whole story with the hornsent also makes the story of morgot and mohg much darker (and it was already dark). marika must have been really pissed and upset to have omen children (maybe part of why she ditched godfrey?). since they were her blood she wouldn't have killed them (since protecting the last of the shamans/numen was her thing), but man. fucked up if true etc
marika probably would have gone apeshit about jarburg if she hadn't been off being crucified
also since ranni was not marika's kid (or wasn't raised by her per se) she might not have known anything about marika's backstory and not expected marika's reaction to godwyn's death. edit: this is not me being like ranni did nothing wrong. i support women's wrongs. i think they should do more of them. more like, imagine ranni kills godwyn and then suddenly marika smashes the ring and all the other demigods go nuts and start waging war and she's just like huh. wild. and then fucks off to her tower until they all get it out of their systems
the lgbtq community has forgiven mohg is possibly the funniest narrative choice they could have made. poor man didn't even get to yell sex in his fight 😔. at least he had some of the sickest looking moves in the game
rellana was the best boss in the dlc and possibly the whole game imo. the fact she may have been into messmer is really funny though because 1) if you go age of stars that is now your aunt in law kicking your ass and 2) your aunt in law who is into the brother of your wife. what a family. no wonder ranni wants to go to space
not quite done with this but it's filling in some things I'd missed