#eriself

Haven't watched anime in a bit, but I do like Ghibli movies and horror animes like Parasyte.

I also watched Dragonball Z (also Dragonball GT, some of Dragonball, but none of Super) and a lot of Naruto (only up to the Akatsuki, around Hidan and Kakuzu but I read up to like halfway to the war arc thing, and then I have a general knowledge about the rest of the series).

I also know a bit (though very little) about things like My Hero Acadamia, Lupin III, and One Piece, but that's mainly from TikTok and mutuals on here and Twitter.

I never actually watched any of those except the one movie of One Piece, the one with Crocodile and the sand villiage thingy without water. I think it was called The Desert Princess. (I didn't even realize it was one piece, we got the movie on Red Box and I loved it so much I bought the movie to keep, still one of my faves to watch lol)

But yeah, I don't watch a lot of anime, or shows in general. I still have a TON of horror movies to watch that I bought and just haven't even opened from their packaging let alone watched. I just can't find the time or commitment needed to start a whole series, even short ones that are like 12 episodes long.

My dad passed away when I was young so I didn't know much about him other than stories so I get the entire thing of not feeling much about it.

Sometimes it's best to not dwell on it to force yourself feel something, but rather accept it and attempt to move on. You'll hurt yourself more if you try to force emotions to come out because unwanted ones will take over. Like you said, posting art, reblogging, etc, something to keep your mind off of it. It'll help in the long run.

All in all, I am sorry for your loss, and I hope that maybe there will be more light than dark in the future.

Thank you. Thank you very much.

I'll be honest, if anything happens socially like this (death, injury, other people's feelings) I become hollow and cold inside. Even thinking about myself does this. I have learned over the years that distractions help which is why I am not just leaving to let myself dwell over this kind of stuff. I did cry a tiny bit but not nearly as much as my sister or brother. The pain will hit when it hits.

I've actually done a tiny bit of research about this a while ago about how it's natural for some people to have a delayed grief response and I think that is what's happening with me. And if it is, I am not looking forward to when the pain hits.

It just sucks because I feel like I should be hurting. I feel like I should care more. But it seems like the only time I care and cry over things are when they are academic. I stress and have panic attacks and absolutely ball my eyes out trying to get good grades that won't even matter but I can't even feel like a normal human to the permanent loss of a direct family member.

I'm sorry. I just needed to say that last bit. I know I'm not less than human because I'm not feeling the "right way" (even though there is no right way in this situation). But it's just something that has been in the back of my brain for a long while. How I knew this was a very real possibility that I would react to death. I just thought maybe when it actually happens, I would have a real response and not just shut down... which I guess is technically a real response.

Again, thank you for these kind words. At the moment I am doing just fine. I have a good support system both online and in the real world, so everything will be okay if I start to slip into a bad mental state.

Gonna be honest... I don’t draw animals that often... if you couldn’t tell lol

Requests are closed right now! Please don’t send in a request at this time!

Putting actual pictures of my cat (and my sister’s cat) under the cut!

Word of advice to anyone who actually read this ask-

Do not chug maple syrup.

Yea, I too had to learn this lesson the hard way. When I was super young I basically drank half a bottle of maple syrup and had to stay in bed all day with a stomach ache lol.