#eris thorne stuff

Thanks to @rooks-dagger, @maagisterpavus and @mushrooms-x-moss for the tags, mega cool choices all around!

Eris Thorne

Casting for a buff lady the size of a barn door should be piece of cake, right? RIGHT??? Look, I tried my best folks, but here is what came to mind:

Katy O'Brian

You nerds may know her as Elia Kane from The Mandalorian, which despite having nerd tendencies myself, I've never seen... I do know her from Love Lies Bleeding. You know, that sapphic film with the muscles, which doesn't sound remotely up my alley 👀.

Rhea Ripley (Demi Bennett)

Okay so I'm not aware of her having any acting chops outside of pro wrestling. But it's basically hillbilly theatre (please don't unfriend me), and playing Eris can't be too difficult. All you have to do is stumble around looking bewildered and startled.

Neither is 6'5"/195cm. With some clever camera work or CGI however, I bet you could make it seem that way. Either that, or ensure that the rest of the cast is no taller than 4'10"/147cm.

As an esteemed casting director, my only requirement is that the buffness is achieved naturally, due to how anti-PEDs I am. (DM me if you want my soapbox sermon/rant on PED, SARMS or steroid use in the 'fitness' community 😂). I get that a physique like Eris' is fecking hard for women to achieve naturally, but I don't want them with more juice than the man from Del Monte 🧃.

Happy to hear anyone's casting suggestions for Eris! Fire away my friends!

Super soft taggies to - @kogarashi-art, @davrinsleftpectoral, @blackwall-my-tiny-husband, @handsignals, @in-the-drowning-deep, @waxlyricalmoon, @vishantikaffar, @jukkaricity, @dialmformud, @woundedsoul12, @hedwigoprah, @therivercrow and anyone else who sees this (tag me so I can see your choices!)

Thank you to @curiouswisp, @vishantikaffar, @davrinsleftpectoral, @rooks-dagger, @mushrooms-x-moss, @maagisterpavus, @kogarashi-art and undoubtedly some others I've missed (I'm sorry, it's a reflection of my poo forgetful brain).

There are some photos of beta/proto-Eris below (where she's blind in one eye) from my first playthrough. I've not (yet) captured many screenshots of her in her 'evolved,' giantess form, so I'll probably reblog this in a few months with additions XD.

First category is Eris and Lace <3

Then there's angry, 'knickers in a twist' Eris. I don't know why I like these, considering she rarely gets angry in the fics I write for her.

Then we have concerned, baby's first counselling session face.

Then everything else!

I mainly like the last one because I imagine the Crows collectively thinking 'who the f**k is this clown?'

I have taken action shots, but they all turn out terrible. Eris either looks stoned off her tits or she's touching cloth [on the verge of shitting herself]. See below XD

Low pressure tags for the rest of the taglist - @ashlightly, @waxlyricalmoon, @in-the-drowning-deep, @aetherflowers, @blackwall-my-tiny-husband, @jukkaricity, @woundedsoul12, @notyourmamasdeerbat, @themontess, @handsignals, @dialmformud, @therivercrow, @hedwigoprah, @litchigaming, @ourinquisitorialness. Remind me if you've already done it, because I'm dumb, plus I wanna see.

Thanks for the tags - @mushrooms-x-moss, @rooks-dagger, @davrinsleftpectoral, @kogarashi-art.

From reading your results, I've come to the realisation that I'm quite mushy. Whoever worded them knows how to deliver a sucker punch to the heart.

For Eris:

I will admit to laughing at 'you need to be loved like a child,' because for Lace, it can be like caring for an oversized woman-baby at times, but she takes it in her stride.

This does seem fitting though. Eris is scared of love initially. Everything she has ever loved (or thought she did) ended up turning to shit. She does need to be reminded that it's worth it. That she's worth it.™

@kogarashi-art was ever so kind as to draw some fabulous chibi OCs as part of their birthday month celebrations, and you can find them all HERE. As a condition, we were asked to colour them in, so here's my effort for Eris & Lace. 💪

Both are staring directly at you viewer and asking - DO YOU EVEN LIFT!?

Thanks to @kogarashi-art and @rooks-dagger for your tags on this, I enjoyed reading about the journeys your amazing Rooks went on to get to where they are now.

DA RULEZ: Right now most of us have one or more 'canon' Rooks. But what were their beginnings? What has changed since this first time you made them in the CC? Appearance, faction, class, backstory - share whatever you want.

ERIS THORNE

Sparknotes version:

Ditched the make-up.

Scar teleported.

Miraculously re-gained her left-eye vision. 🙌

Over 9000 muscles.

Shot up like a beanstalk.

Freed the guns.

Meet prototype Eris. Ngl, it's weird seeing her like this again. When I first went into character creator I was with a friend, and they randomly started talking about Natalie Imbruglia and then went off onto a tangent about Demi Moore in Ghost. So I guess that's the turn the creation took (sort of)?

Actual in-game screenshot.

As you can see, she went heavy on the eyeliner and contouring, because I guess she wanted to slay while slaying darkspawn?

She had that scar that I came to learn a lot of Warden Rooks have (the 3 claw-like scratches near the left eye). I thought I was being 'interesting' by giving her reduced vision in that eye also, maybe there was some edgy backstory behind it I could write into fics? Welp, it turned out I wasn't the only one.

Beta-Eris was also of average height, average musculature, and sans tattoos. All of that seems very un-Eris, I know.

Before I knew how to mod, she mostly wore that standard long-sleeved Warden gambeson I can't remember the name of. This would also be the outfit I'd commonly reference in my fics.

DA CHANGES

One of the first changes I made was to max out the muscle and height sliders. I'd been admiring Brienne of Tarth from A Game of Thrones and thought the world needed more lady characters built like brick shithouses, plus I'd started to write her this way in fics too.

Sadly, the game will only allow the height slider on a human woman to go so far (boo), which is to say, barely above 5 foot 5. I've previously posted about my Eris' transformation to Amazonian goddess, using a save editor first presented to me by the amazing @bossuary (you ARE a boss). Eris' now has a Qunari body. Her head appears a little small at times, but it's the price worth paying to have her lurch stomp around her companions.

I also used the 'sleeveless casuals' and 'yet another starting armor swap - warrior' mods from Nexus. The gun are now freeeeee.

Being the massive insufferable hipster™ I am, and thus unable to let her look like other Warden Rooks, I removed Eris' 'edgy' left-eye complaints, and gave her a lip scar instead.

She also washed all the make-up off, because 'aint nobody got time for that' when knee deep in blight. Her jawline and chin also grew, and I gave her more of a 'butter face.' She's possibly less 'conventionally attractive' as she was before, but honestly, I dig her more now.

Super soft buttery tags for - @in-the-drowning-deep, @blackwall-my-tiny-husband, @davrinsleftpectoral, @jukkaricity, @curiouswisp, @maagisterpavus, @mushrooms-x-moss, @themontess, @waxlyricalmoon, @woundedsoul12, @aetherflowers, @litchigaming @vishantikaffar, @ourinquisitorialness aaaand anyone else who'd like a go.

A thousand thanks to @mushrooms-x-moss, @rooks-dagger and @curiouswisp for your tags on this one. Your Rooks are nothing short of 🔥.

This is probably not going to make much sense to anyone who hasn't watched my Pretentious Nug E Cheese Fragrance Ad If you haven't - please do. I had to bribe my sister with all you can eat Indian buffet for this.

Anyway, here's Eris, I think she's a bit of an acquired taste but... 🤷‍♀️

Behold the lesbian Old Spice (Wo)Man.

Some body horror Animorph bullshit.

I encourage you to laugh at my crappy photoshop skills.

Annnnnd some general 'thirst' pics under the cut...

Softly tagging (I'm just being rather random with this) - @in-the-drowning-deep, @waxlyricalmoon, @handsignals, @dialmformud, @jukkaricity, @genjyoandgojyoandhakkai, @hedwigoprah, @trash-nerd, @davrinsleftpectoral, @blackwall-my-tiny-husband, @woundedsoul12 annnnnd anyone else who would like to play!

Still catching up on tags, but I thought I'd post a little something about my OCs while I've got a snippet of time.

Thank you @rooks-dagger, @maagisterpavus and @kogarashi-art for tagging me in this, you know I love your OCs. Sorry if others tagged me and I've just been incredibly forgetful.

Eris Thorne (horse free content 🐴)

Eris hunches her back, a lot, and walks with a strange gait. Most people are shorter than her, and she was brought up by a dwarf, which ruined her posture once the growth spurt set in. She only straightens her back to intimidate, or to flirt (like a form of peacocking).

Eris has poor hand-eye coordination, and tends to fall and trip a lot. The main reason she uses an axe is because her combat instructors gave up on teaching her proper sword and shield technique. Sometimes she carries a shield, but it's there for decorative purposes (because she never blocks/deflects blows). Then there's the cheese shield... That's just a snack for Lace.

Eris plays the lute 'by ear.' She can't read sheet music, but can replicate a piece perfectly after listening to it a couple of times.

Eris doesn't tan, nor does she burn. The Anderfels get stiflingly hot in the summer, but despite all her time outdoors, and lengthy hikes with the Wardens, she remains as pasty as the day she was born. A true mystery.

Eris used to make a side hustle selling erotica at Weisshaupt. In the dead of nights, Wardens would sneak off behind the ramparts where Eris waited, wearing a trenchcoat lined with smutty books. She also boasts the largest collection in all the Anderfels. Dirty, dirty girl.

Alphonse Cadash (guess who lost their Inquisition screenshots 😔)

His mum named him after the Antivan Crow sent to murder her (long story). The Crow didn't realise until turning up to fulfil his contract at a Carta warehouse that his target was a pregnant woman. Not only did he spare her, but he helped deliver the baby when she fell into labour.

He styles his beard like that to honour said Crow (originally named Alfonso).

He hates how disconnected he feels to his 'dwarven roots' as a surfacer. He often forces himself to eat things he dislikes, just because he feels it'll bring him closer to his his culture (roasted cave beetle, giant spider legs, and nug pancakes in particular). Cassandra had to slap the lichen ale out of his hand once, when he tried to chug a litre stein of it (it's highly toxic, even to dwarves).

Alphonse wasn't taught to read and write in childhood. He saved up some money from Carta jobs to pay a librarian in Denerim to teach him.

He's acrophobic (fear of heights) and suffers from bouts of vertigo. He once confessed this to The Iron Bull, who then tried in vain to get him to overcome it through exposure therapy. Cue lots of Bull randomly picking him up without consent. It didn't go well, think heaps of bad language and angry shin kicking once placed back on terra firma (I really can't blame him, I too despise being picked up!)

Big thanks to @kogarashi-art, @in-the-drowning-deep and @rooks-dagger for the taggies.

I'm slowly getting through the things I've been tagged in while I've been away (which are much appreciated btw). This looked fun, so I thought I'd squeeze it in.

Link to the quiz

Eris Thorne: Barbarian 🪓

Credit to annchovi for this art they did for me a while back :)

Quelle surprise! Who would have thought this absolute unit with an axe would be a barbarian of all things. Pass the smelling salts, I'm about to faint!

It's a running gag in my longfic that there's a rumour going around that Eris is an illiterate nomadic warrior of the Orth tribe, whose name is in fact 'Upright Druffalo.' The book club also read a series called 'Rigor the Barbarian,' a series about a hulking, untamed brute who falls in love with a dwarven princess. Eris of course pretends to hate these books, perhaps because they hit a bit too close to home.

This class makes sense in terms of her martial abilities. Eris gets a bit ragey on the battlefield. She hits things hard, forgoing shield or any sense of self-preservation to throw herself into the fray.

That being said, although she doesn't wash nearly as much as she should, and looks a bit feral wild, she's actually a city girl at heart. She also has an unsavoury criminal past which may explain the rogue percentage? Although that, along with monk, may be a tad too high. She's bloody strong, but far from nimble or dexterous. Eris can't tie simple knots, tell left from right, and has a propensity to fall over... 🤷‍♀️

The magic user percentages are also rather surprising. Spoilers, but Eris comes from a line of magic users, passed down maternally. It just never passes down to her... This does make her feel painfully ordinary at times, and she tries to convince herself that she must have some sort of latent power that hasn't manifested yet at the age of 32. Cue times when she locks herself in her chamber, groaning with exertion as she tries to conjure a fireball, blizzard or some other form of elemental bullshit. The Veilguard crew just assume she's constipated, as Lace supplies her with a endless supply of prune juice (much to Eris' confusion).

Alphonse Cadash - Bard 🎻

Unlike Eris, Alphonse doesn't actually play a musical instrument, but he can spin an entertaining a yarn to rival Varric. He likes to appropriate Antivan culture, and part of that includes mimicking certain social graces and charm to lull his opponents into a false sense of security. Whilst Eris will wear any old shite, as long as it doesn't have sleeves, Alphonse has a taste for well tailored, expensive clothing. He likes to project a larger than life image.

He does have a way with words, and definitely prefers to talk his way out of a situation. Possibly due to the bloodshed and tragedy he experienced when young.

In many ways, he and Cass seem like chalk and cheese. He has the gift of the gab, while she grunts. Nonetheless, she's VERY into his poetry, and tongue in the romance department. 😉

I'm somewhat surprised rogue isn't higher considering he's an actual rogue in game... He spent his childhood upbringing in a crime syndicate, seeing other surface dwarves scramble around in abject poverty to make a living. Alphonse doesn't know what a moral high horse is. He will make deals with shady, unscrupulous folk if the end justifies the means.

Thanks for listening to me ramble on!