eheheheh

2o you're a major douchebag.

there'2 no word liimiit on thii2 2o that'2 all your gettiing becau2e ii don't want two wa2te my energy on you at all.

go fuck your2elf.

The doors swish silently as Vriska walks through the door with a shopping cart, its wheels rumbling with years of wear and tear. Following behind her like a duckling follows its mother. You wrinkle your nose at the horrid clean but dirty smell of the grocery store. The cheesy elevator must plays over the silent bickering from a mother and her child about a candy bar, which the child wins. Vriska hums softly between telling you what to grab.

“Three of those…hm hm… package of that… hm hm… gallon of milk. No the other one. Here, just let me do it.”

When you finally finish getting all the food you would ever need, you load up the car and drive to Vriska’s favorite fast food restaurant, McDonald. Vriska orders a small fries and a medium coke (she must be trying to lose weight) and you order a double cheeseburger and a large diet coke.

“That'll be $5.27, please pull up to the next window,” says the monotone voice at the microphone.

You try to pull up slowly, but mess up and the clutch and kill the car. Restarting it, you pull up to the window and give your money to a chipper girl who looks faintly familiar. As she turns back to you to return your change, you look at her name tag.

“Fef?” you say in shock. She looks at you in question. Looking you up and down for a second, she straightens up, giving you the look you give a stranger when they try to touch you in a weird place.

“How do you know my nickname?” Her eyes narrow at you, her face taking on the dark look she always got before she was about to kill something.

“It's Eridan and Vriska,” you remark as Vriska leans over into your lap to become visible as she gives a little wave to Feferi.

Her face lights up as a squeal comes out of her mouth. “Ohmygodohmygodisitreallyyouicantbelieveitihaventseenyousinceweturnedhumanohmygodthisissoexcitingohmygodareyoutwoathingnowohmygodihavetotelleveryonethatifoundyoutwoohmygodohmygo...”

“Slow down Fef, seriously, I can't understand half of what you just said.”

Her face turns red as she bounces up and down in glee. “I'm sorry, it just that eeeeeeeee! I can’t believe I found you two. Everyone's been trying to find you.”

“Wait... Everyone? So it wasn't Sollux who mugged me last night?”

“No, Sollux has been down with the flu since Thursday.”

You sit there for a second, letting it all sink in with the painful realization that you will probably never see your phone ever again. The one thing that mattered more to you then your wand. Gone. Forever. You sink lower into your seat and accidently push the accelerator, revving the engine.

“What the fuck! Are you trying to ruin my car?” Vriska squeaks.

“Well I’m sorry miss perfect, not all of us have to put up with the thought of having our most prized possession gone forever.”

“You lost your wand?” Feferi cuts in, bringing you back to the reality that you are in fact sitting in front of a drive through window arguing with your boss. “That’s so terrible! I know how much that meant to you. But I think I need to pay you your change and have you pull up, you’re holding up the line.”

You cheeks flush as you grab your change and hand it to Vriska. Quickly retrieving your food, you drive out of the parking lot and onto the street, quickly getting up to 25 mph as Vriska hands you your burger. Biting in, you still can’t get over how disgustingly good these burgers are.

“Eribitch, what’s this?” Vriska says, holding up a white notebook paper, folded into four neat sections.

“I don’t know, where’d it come from?”

“The change.”

“Well open it then.”

She opens it carefully with her long slender fingers, looking at it with great concern in her eyes, then she relaxes and laughs.

“It’s just her schedule for the next two weeks and a phone number. She probably wants us to catch up with her so she can tell everyone how we’re doing.”

“Oh, that’s nice of her. Well is there a time whe- WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST DO!” you scream as she lifts her hand and lets the paper fly away.

“Getting rid of the paper, duh.” Rolling her eyes.

“Why in the- what- when would- gah! The first time we see anyone we knew before this shit went down, AND YOU THROW HER NUMBER AWAY!” The car swerves and you turn your attention back to the road. An angry driver passes by, giving you the finger, which Vriska politely returns while sticking out her tongue. “In what world would you think that that was a good idea? Well know what, I’m going back and waiting for her to get off work now, then we’re going to drive her home. And before you can object, I have the keys to the car so you’re not gonna be able to go anywhere.”

Vriska flops back in her seat, clearly disappointed that throwing the number out the window didn’t work. Is she trying to keep you two isolated from the rest of the group? Why would she want to do that anyways? It’s not like they hate her. Fef doesn’t hate you anyways, so you’re just assuming that everyone else forgave Vriska. You pull the car into a driveway and turn around, heading back to McDonalds. You realize that something’s up. Vriska not only let you yell at her, but also hasn’t said a word since. You look at her.

...but there i2n't even thr..

fiine.

mwah - eriidan, gamzee, and uuuggh ii don't know.  ii haven't really 2poken two enough people two want two.