My 40 Day Prayer Challenge "DRAW THE CIRCLE"
If you would've told me 40 days ago that my life would be changed through prayer, I would've asked, why didn't I start this decades ago...but maybe God let's us go through things in our lives to appreciate the better parts...I know this because I've been through it, and still going through the ups and downs, but I do know one thing: GOD IS IN CONTROL.
You see, it began a month and a half ago, when I was sitting at my sister's church in Grayson, Georgia, called "Graystone." The pastor said the church was going to start a church-wide devotional, book by Mark Batterson, "Draw the Circle." I've made myself so completely and insanely busy the past few years, focusing on myself and my career, that I've unintentionally allowed my prayer life, devotional life, quiet time, and Bible reading fall by the waist side. Being a struggling singer/songwriter, I've been saving my pennies through the past 6 years, avoiding unneccesary spending, and even hesitating at dropping under $10 on a prayer book, but when my sister said she was getting it, I thought, well, what do I have to lose? I bought the book, and there my prayer journey began. That day, I got back to my sister's home, and opened up the book. Instantly, my focus began to change, as I prayed for God to open my heart and speak to me and I was hooked on this book from Day 1. It's not some hidden secret, magic formula, or hocus pocus, it's based on Biblical teachings. Let me back up. I was raised in the southeast, some refer to it as the "Bible Belt", by two strong Christian parents. Over the years, discussing religion with people across the world, I commonly come across three major views, most either say "Yes I'm a Christian," "I was raised Catholic (insert forced religion here), but I'm not practicing," or "I'm not sure what to think, I'm still searching." While there are millions of takes in between, these are the majority of people I've come in contact with. Some may argue I was spoonfed the Bible growing up, and attending a Baptist church, I just believe what I was raised. I disagree. Many people were raised certain ways, and although upbringing can definitely steer someone right or left, I know many people who have abandoned their parents' beliefs on gone off on their own path, right or wrong, good or bad. In my case, I chose on my own at 7 years old to get baptized in my church after praying a prayer of faith to God, accepting Jesus in my heart, and with that, believed I was going to heaven. It wasn't until later when in high school as a Senior, at 17 at a youth worship service that I realized saying you believe in Jesus/God, and living with that as your main purpose are two totally different things. This is the night I believe I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior, or as many Christians refer to as "Getting Saved." I don't believe I'm better than anyone because of what I believe, I just feel fortunate to have Godly parents who have strong morals and values, who have shared their faith, joy and peace with me, and wanted what they think is best for me, and I agree over the course of my life, I've seen that following Jesus' teachings in the Bible have proven to be the best for me. Ok, back to 2014, here I am reading page one of "Draw the Circle" and it's already gotten me lured in. It talks about "how many times have you stayed up all night wondering if the sun is going to rise, or lost sleep over the concern of the planet not being able to make it's full rotation?" Well, I know as for me, I don't think twice about it, just assume the world's gonna keep on moving...and it does. But the author made a valid point that stopped me in my tracks. He asks, so why worry about your finances, career, relationships, when the God who is the Creator of the Universe, the same one who makes planets spin, and stars light up, and the sun rise, is the same God who has control over our daily actions. Well that was enough for me to step back and say, okay God, you've got this. Not that things are always going to go our way, but He is ultimately in control, and our prayers can steer situations, and our faith can change our fate.
I'm 30 years old. I'm a small town Georgia girl, and I moved out to California at 18 years old. I began selling cars to put myself through college, got my Business Degree in Marketing at 20, and solely saved up and bought my first home at 21 in the San Francisco Bay Area. Luckily I was raised with a keen business sense, and my parents have always been supportive of me being independent and hard working. In 2007, I quit my day job as a Sales Representative of Chevrolets, Cadillacs and Hummers and started singing full time. I began singing in a classic rock cover band "THE RODEO CLOWNS", led by my buddy John Lawton, when I was 21, and two years later branched off into my own cover band "PIER PRESSURE." We performed several nights a week, and I fronted the classic rock band, and slowly began mixing in some of my favorite country songs. After a pretty devastating break up at 24 by my first love, I began pouring poetry on paper, venting my emotions, and turning them into songs. I didn't know how to play an instrument, so I sang them to a guy I reconnected with in my hometown, Byron Adams. Byron is a very talented Singer/songwriter, and was very helpful in my first endeavors as a songwriter. He put music to my first 7 out of 10 songs, and helped me record my first album "Struggle Street" in a small recording studio in Hartwell, Georgia, 15 miles away from my hometown. After being let down by musicians and guitarists who couldn't make shows, my frustration led me down to Guitar Center, where I purchased my first acoustic guitar, a new Breedlove cutout acoustic electric. It was definitely over my head cost-wise, but the abalone and the sunburst coloring had me at hello, and I was hooked. I spent the next few months teaching myself how to play guitar, googling many of my favorite songs, and watching youtube tutorials. I'm sure I was terrible, but since I didn't know any better, I started booking solo acoustic shows, and playing out as much as I possibly could. Amazed by all the talented musicians at open mics around the Bay Area, my frustration and competitive nature drove me to practice daily and I started putting music to my poems. A few years later, in 2007, I was over the automotive business, tired of putting in so many hours a week, never having a day off, and missing out on the things in life that I loved, so I turned in my notice, and walked away with a huge smile on my face. Over my adult career, I've dabbled in Real Estate, Mortgage Loans, Mary Kay Makeup, and Recruiting, but nothing satisfied me except for writing and playing music. I've learned many times through meeting other musicians, that once it's in your blood, it's a part of who you are. It's not really something we can control, for those of you non-musical people, we are wired completely differently. Some of us are real freaks...some of us are just a little on the weird side, but regardless, any person who is a true musician, or other form of artist just has a unique hunger inside that cannot be filled without music or that form of art being poured into our lives, and we won't ever change or stop, because it's just who we are born to be. So after renting out the bedrooms in my house, I packed up my Cadillac CTS, played my last 2009 show in California as a resident at the Santa Cruz Festival, and began my journey back to the southeast, Nashville, Tennessee bound.
It was a long and lonely journey across the US, stopping for shows in Los Angeles, Austin, New Orleans, Orlando, and back to Nashville, but after sleepless nights, Monster drinks, a sketchy stay at the Desert Inn in 'middle of nowhere', Texas, random friends old and new, I finally made it to my new home, Nashville, Tennessee. Not too different from my hometown, although Nashville has much more to offer than 'the granite capital of the world' I was raised in, I began knocking on doors. I walked into a studio in Nashville, called Funhouse Studios, on the famous Music Row, just like I belonged there, and walked into the engineering room and watched as musicians played demo, after demo, after demo for songwriter's who were recording these reels to pitch either to other artists or publishers. I was amazed at the process, almost like clockwork, and how effortlessly these session players were able to nail their parts on every song, and by the end of four hours, the bass player, Jim Hyatt, asked me, "So are you recording a song?" I told him no, so he asked who was I there with, to which I replied "nobody, just me." Confused, he asked "So what are you doing here." I told him I was walking down the street and just came in to check it out, and I'm a songwriter, and I'd love to record a song there, so I met the musicians, and talked them into letting me record one of my songs that week, and it was settled. Just proof, if you don't knock on the door, it won't be opened. I knew back then that God was in control of my life, maybe on paper, but didn't necessarily correlate all the chains of events that were happening while I was going through it. After 5 years of being on the road as a full time musician, touring all over the world, and all over the US, night after night, looking for places to lay my head and food to eat, I have struggled and learned a lot over the years. The reason I'm telling you this is so you'll see how desperately I wanted to sell my home in California so that I wouldn't have to continue paying rent in Nashville and my mortgage in California. One is bad enough for a starving artist. So in 2011, I listed my home for sale, and didn't get a single offer. For months, we showed my home, which I had remodeled the entire kitchen, all new appliances, beautiful hardwood floors, but it just wasn't the right time to list a home in that area, because of several nearby homes that had recently foreclosed, my sale was doomed. I rented out my home to a family I found on craigslist, and A year went by and I thought, well, I'll give it another shot. I've deal with my miserable HOA (home owners association) for the entire ownership, they have constantly harrassed me, mainly because I was younger, and they thought they can push me around, but also because I was the only owner with tenants. If anything went wrong in the building, they would automatically point the finger at me. It's been ridiculous. If the trash lid was left off, I got a nasty call or email. They complained of footstep noises, doors being shut too hard, and noise, which were sometimes when none of me or my tenants were even at home. I was more ready emotionally to sell my home than financially, but both were heavy burdens. Which brings me up to my prayer challenge. I had just listed my home 8 days into beginning this book, and I was learning what true persistence was all about. The book not only encouraged me and taught me how to pray, but how we should show God how bad do we actually want or need Him to answer our prayers. Well, I was desperate, and I know that God held out on me selling my home the past two years because of the fact that I wasn't ready, or He wasn't ready, or just because He's God and knew that I would benefit from waiting, although patience isn't my strongest point. Here I am, reading the book, excited about how God is going to do some awesome things in my life, and proclaiming that my house will be sold if it's God's will. When I say God's will, I'm referring to the plan that He has for each of our lives, and how when we are walking in God's Word, and following what God wants us to do, He wants to give us the desires of our hearts, and my desire was to sell my home.
I began praying, my sister, Mama, Daddy, Brother, friends all over the country were all praying for God to sell my home. I had it listed for $599k the previous year, just hoping to break even, but God knew I could do better. He could one up that, and I just felt like in this market, being better than in years, I needed to list it higher, so I had a number in my head $625k, and decided not to take less. The day before I listed it on the market, I got an offer for $610k, but something about that didn't settle with me, and I just wanted to feel at peace with the offer, but God was saying wait. I turned it down, hoping that I didn't make a huge mistake, but through praying daily and listening to God and asking for peace, He blessed my faithfulness. Day 5, I'm sitting at a friend's (Tim Shean's) home in Nashville, writing a song, explaining to him the hardships and struggles I've been going through, explaining how badly I needed God to just sell my home for asking price. We talked and I came up with the idea for a song called "SO HELP ME GOD." As we started throwing out ideas, the song came together, and halfway through this tune, I got a call from my realtor asking me if I'd take $7000 over the asking price. I was in shock. I had no other offers on the table, no one was competing, and my realtor got $7000 over the asking price. It was God rewarding me for being patient and allowing His timing to take precedence, and not mine. By waiting, I was able to afford to sell my home, instead of losing money. How ironic that as I'm writing a song asking God to help me, it was like he called me on the phone through my realtor, and said,"Don't worry, I'm going to help you." I couldn't help it as tears rolled down my cheeks, I was overcome with absolute joy and confirmation that God's timing is important, and when we rush things and do them on our own, we mess up the divine plans that God has in store for us.
Well, it's time for my 5th album to be prepped and released, and it's always very stressful trying to tie up all the lose ends, make sure everyone who deserves the credit gets credit, perfect the pictures, art design, songs, get them recorded, mixed and mastered, on top of making sure that you have all the release and promo details ready before the album comes out...
