#erenangst

TW: Suicidal Thoughts, Slight SA, Mentions of Death

Word Count: 2.08k

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Marley soldiers stalked through the city's entrance, trauma, and fear written on their faces. From what was visible, almost half of the troops were missing.

In front of the brigade were the four Warriors and the four Warrior candidates, celebrating with one another. From what you had heard, one of the candidates, Gabi Braun, had come up with the ultimate plan and beat the Mid-East Allied Forces with a raging victory.

On the other hand, the Armored Titan, Reiner Braun, had taken blows for Zeke Yeager, the Beast Titan, and sustained major injures. Though as he walked into the city's premises, you concluded that his wounds healed in an insane amount of time.

You, along with the other nurses that were on the Marleyan Medical Unit, stood in a neat line outside of the gates of the hospital. You watched with sharp eyes as the higher-ups separated the soldiers into two lines: the ones who walked away without a scratch and those who were injured, both mentally and physically.

You were ultimately given a clipboard with a list of people you were responsible for. You glanced the name and phone number of the soilder as you flipped through.

'Kruger? There is no last name listed. Strange.'

The other nurses and you began pushing our way through the mob, attempting to reach the handicapped. As you approached the troops' line-up, you noticed one of the higher-ups making a finger gun, pointing it at the soldiers, and yelling,

"BANG!"

When the unfortunate soldiers slumped to the ground and screamed in horror, you stared in disgust as the men laughed. You spoke clearly, tapping the two men on the shoulders.

"Please refrain from doing that to my patients. It isn't appreciated." The two men whipped around with glares on their faces.

"And who do you think you'r-" The two men's glares morphed into smug and flirtatious expressions. They eyed you up and down, licking their lips. Pigs.

"Well, good morning, Ms.-" One of the soldiers leaned in to read your name, which was neatly hemmed into your uniform, and you observed that when he had the chance, he peeked down your shirt. "Ms Y/n."

"Pardon me, I need to do my job." You completely ignored their obvious attempts of being sleazy assholes. The second had then grabbed your waist. "Come on, babe. We just tryin' to talk to ya." Just as he was going to tuck a piece of hair behind your ear, a voice came from behind the two men.

"There a problem here, gents?" A voice barked. It was Porco Galliard. He had his usual scowl on his face as he eyed the two soldiers. The man who was holding you quickly let you go and stepped away, along with his companion. "No, sir." The men said in unison. One of them nudged each other and signalled that they should leave.

After the two men had left, you gave a quick 'Thank You' to the Warrior and went back to your task. You saw Falco, one of the Warrior candidates and a boy you loved like your own son, helping one of the soldiers to his feet. (MORE LIKE FOOT CAUSE HE HAS ONE FOOT! GET IT?!?!? I'll leave, sorry🚪🚶‍♀️)

You tousled the blonde's hair with your palm on his head. "Thank you very much, Falco. It's wonderful to see you again." The child was startled when he heard a voice from behind him. However, as he realized it was you, he spun around and buried his face in your stomach, hugging you tightly.

"Y/n! I missed you so much!" He exclaimed happily. You gave the boy a sincere smile and rubbed his back. Pulling away from the hug, you kneeled down.

"I need to take care of the patients here first and then I'll come by and visit you and we can play the game you taught me before you left, alright?" You compromised in a soft voice, already acknowledging you've wasted time.

But, being the sweet child he was, he nodded and smiled at you. "Yep! Y/n, I'll see you in a few minutes!" Before he left, Falco gave you one final embrace running back to his little friends.

Knowing that Kruger was the first patient in line due to the information on the clipboard, you realized that the man that Falco had helped was Kruger. As you were about to introduce yourself to him as his nurse, he lost his balance on his lonesome crutch.

As he began to fall forward, you stuck your arms out and caught him gently on the biceps. He grunted softly, still struggling to regain his balance. Kruger then gripped your forearms and managed to push himself upright.

While he readjusted his crutch, you observed your patient. The obvious observation was he was missing a leg but he also had an eye patch on his right eye. He had long locks of brown hair that covered his eyes almost completely. His aura seemed to say he was sick of everything and everyone. Rightfully so. If you had gone into war and came back with one leg, you'd be pissed as well.

When you planned on introducing yourself again, you heard the staff leader tell everyone to move the patients into the lobby.

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Your heart ached at the level of suicidal behaviour and palpable anguish in the lobby. Nobody deserved to witness their friends perish in front of their eyes or to experience the agony that the people endured.

You'd been assisting other nurses intending to other troops' wounds or guiding patients through the incessant horror movie playing in their thoughts all afternoon.

Kruger, your assigned patient, was sat in an area where treatment was not a priority, but you nevertheless made every effort to see him in a reasonable length of time.

Finally getting the opportunity to present yourself as his caretaker, you approached the guy. He was sitting with his head bowed and without moving a muscle. You'd believe he was dead if it weren't for his feeble gasps.

"Mr.Kruger? I'm Y/n. Is it okay if I look around your body for any additional injuries?" You spoke with a pleasant tone. Slowly, the guy raised his head.

His dead, dismal glance merely locked onto you for a few moments. You observed the tiniest up-and-down movement of his neck. You kneeled in front of him, smiling, with your medication and instruments by your side.

He had a few scratches and bruises, but other than that, his leg and perhaps his eye, he was in good health. You reached up to the bandage over Kruger's eye, placing the ointments you had previously applied on the chair next to him.

As soon as they touched the sloppily put white cloth, he grasped your wrist. Despite the fact that astonishment had overtaken you, you just gave him a sweet smile. "Please allow me to replace your bandage. It's quite dirty and might infect your wound."

You stood there watching as he studied your face with a wrinkled brow. Empathy. That's what he had gotten from you. You weren't like the other nurses who had made comments about his looks or discriminated against him. You genuinely wanted to help him.

He let go of your wrist cautiously and let you do what you wanted. You gently peeled back the bandage and examined the wound. There was no chance of repairing his eye. It had appeared as if a bullet had gone straight through the cornea and shattered everything. All that was left was a mangled eye socket.

You took a cotton ball from the chair and dipped it in rubbing alcohol before gently dabbing his eye. At the unexpected sting, he growled softly. "I'm sorry. It'll sting a bit." You gently grabbed his jaw and tilted it to the left so you could get a better angle. You didn't seem to notice how Kruger didn't take his gaze away from you while you worked. You were so gentle when you were treating him.

You switched your attention to his leg after re-wrapping his eye with a clean bandage. But he immediately brought you to a halt. "It's alright. Another nurse already took care of it." His voice was raspy and hoarse, most likely due to the amount of screaming he endured.

You nodded and stood up, dusting your knees off. "Alright, Mr. Kruger. I'll take you to your room and let you rest. I'll check in every hour." You said as you helped Kruger to his feet.

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Kruger has been entrusted to your care for a few weeks now. You didn't mind that he didn't want to chat much. You, too, were not fond of beginning discussions.

You were cleaning up Kruger's room one day when he posed an unexpected question.

"What do you think of the devils of Paradis?"

You paused in the middle of restocking his medicine cabinet. You shifted your weight to face him. He was resting casually against the pillows on his bed, his lazy gaze on you.

"Are you asking how I feel about them or if they're devils in general?" You questioned, facing him. The brunette shrugged, quietly allowing you to make the decision.

You paused for a moment. It's not like you have to consider your feelings on the Eldian race. However, you wanted to consider how to phrase it.

"Do you mind if I tell you a story, Mr. Kruger?" Your heartbeat quickened as you whispered. For a little moment, you were confronted with silence.

"No."

You sat on the tiny chair across the bed, nodding. Through the glass, you observed individuals interact with each other, placing your hands on your knees.

"I was seeing a boy three years ago. He was the kindest, brightest, and the most attractive man I'd ever met. He'd give me flowers every week, take me out on dates, and was the most wonderful guy I'd ever met. However, there was one issue." You took a break from looking out the window to glance at Kruger.

"He was Eldian. Although he was born here in Marley, his grandparents and father had escaped Paradis. But it didn't matter to me. I didn't care if he was Eldian, Marleyan or a tree. I saw him for who he was." You reached into your breast pocket and pulled out a photograph. You flicked it over to the man.

You and the Eldian teen were depicted in a brown-toned photograph. As he kissed you on the cheek, you were brightly smiling. Kruger looked at how beautiful your smile was and how your eyes shone through paper. He also observed the boy's arm was adorned with the infamous white armband.

"One day, we went on a date for our two year anniversary. It was in a beautiful posy field and was a sunny day." Your voice cracked slightly while recalling the tragedy.

"Someone had tipped off the police about our relationship and it was apparently such a problem that the police had to interrupt and take him away." Tears threatened to pour as you met Kruger's stare.

"I haven't seen him in a year. I hope every day he'll walk into my home so we could just hold each other. But I already know that's never going to happen." You hoped the tears would somehow soak back into your body as you gazed up at the ceiling.

"I remember just sitting in my room, staring at my walls for hours. I couldn't stop thinking about how much I despised Marley. I even started to hate myself and blamed myself." Kruger, although not saying anything, had given you his full attention.

"It had gotten so bad that I tried to end my life. I couldn't deal with the guilt I had brought upon myself. Or I guess I couldn't deal with the fact that I was born Marleyan and had some sort of role in the suffering of millions of Eldians over the world." You stood up abruptly, clearing your throat.

"I realized I have to check something with the staff. I hope that answered your question. Please try to get some rest." You gave the man a smile and left the room, leaving Kruger to think about your story. The agony and hatred in your eyes reminded him of someone.