#ercelhande

𝟐. 𝐬𝐩𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐞𝐛𝐬 𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐛𝐞𝐝

maddie had grown to hate when charlotte came home. at first she would lock herself in her room, cause seeing her and being rude to her would only make things more difficult, but now, she was actually considering spending the weekend over at hayley’s just to avoid seeing her mother walk around the house and pretend she hadn’t been traveling for work for the last two months. but, of course, it wouldn’t be that easy. charlie had made plans for them, dinner and then lunch and then dinner again. maybe a movie, if she heard correctly, while she was protesting about it to matteo. “she wants to make up for the lost time” he repeated, and chris did too, a few too many times. but nothing would change her mind, if charlie wanted to be a parent for her so badly, she’d simply be around to do it. 

so they had another fight, during dinner and on the way back home. bringing the car to a full silence as they parked outside their home, maddie knew she’d get at least one lecture before bed, if matteo didn’t catch her as she fast paced down the hallway, chris would be on the bed next to her ready to drop his usual “you should cut her some slack”. but she didn’t want to hear it tonight and apparently, charlie wanted to solve things before flying away for another month or two. when they were just about to sneak into bed, their mom knocked on the door, asking to talk. she sat on christopher’s bed, of course, talking about how tired she had been, how she missed them. a conversation that felt repeated, cause they already had it before, or rather charlie had said the same things, again and again, even if it would never change. 

she exploded one more time, communicating was never her best trait and maybe it was taken from her mother cause their conversations would so easily shift into yelling and saying things they shouldn’t. only this time it was cut short, not with matteo talking over them to stop it like he always did, but with christopher screaming at both of them. her brother had always taken her side before, with everyone else, but charlie had always been a sore subject between the twins. yet this time he gets up, not a word, and opens the door for his mother. she leaves but the silence stays over them, maddie watches christopher as he closes the door behind charlie and turns back to her, only then the soft sobs start coming out. 

her relationship with her mother had always been stressful, the mere mention of charlie’s name would ruin her nights sometimes and haunt her morning the next few days. she didn’t hate her, not yet, but there was no rationalizing in her head that would get her to understand why her mom didn’t like her. at all, that much. her sobs become a little louder and she’s suddenly embarrassed, of the person she’s always trusted the most in the world seeing her cry yet again for the same reason. so maddie does what maddie always does, she hides. under her bed, hitting her knee on the way in and crying harder because of how bad it hurts for a moment. trying to stop the sobs from coming out with her hand and almost hitting her head when she notices christopher laying on the floor next to her a few seconds later. 

they don’t say anything for a long time, she keeps crying for a while, head against his chest as he holds her. and when they do, it’s about how purple and ugly her knee will become the next day. and how old and too grown for crawling under the bed they’ve become — at least he did. and how there are too many spider webs under her bed, so many there should be at least one spider with them at the moment, cue to them rushing out of there as maddie screams. laughing as they hide under the covers for the night, whispers of good night and thank you getting lost between light snores. 

𝟑. 𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐩𝐢𝐝 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐩𝐢𝐝 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬

christopher never liked maddie’s boyfriends. most of them were too loud, too rude, never said things in a normal way (his own words) and, of course, they’d always leave her a crying mess on the couch when everything was over. they wouldn’t call when they said they would, they wouldn’t show up at the time they had scheduled and one even broke up through the phone the day before christmas while she was boarding on a plane to their grandparents beach house. to put it simply, they’d last a few months, irriritate the shit out of christopher for as long as they were around and then they’d go out with a boom, making sure chris would hate them and try to punch them whenever they were walking down the streets in the same sidewalk. 

this guy, however, he was truly trying to test his patience. he had seemed nice at first, but most of them did so chris wasn’t really convinced. but it lasted more than the others, he was nicer than the others and madeline was really trying to get him to believe things were working out for real between them. they had met once or twice, the guy was over at their place more than a few nights a week and he could almost bear an entire dinner without getting up to pretend he had to pick up a call. he was better than the rest, nothing great, but still better. until everything went crashing down. he didn’t figure it out at first, maddie did a good job trying to keep it hidden from him, but people talk and in that city they talk too much. 

she hated to see him involved in a fight, they were always too quick and too violent and she’d only manage to realize what was happening when it was over and people were rushing to separate them. at that point, she was stressing so much her body wouldn’t move and the tears would take over her vision before she even thought about turning away or doing something about it. tonight wasn’t different, when the tears fell down and cleared her vision, christopher had blood over his hands, he was sweating and had a cut on his cheek she knew would leave a mark. but the guy, her boyfriend, ex-boyfriend now, just wouldn’t get up. he stayed on the floor, not moving an inch, until too many people rushed to his side to try and wake him up. the word ambulance was thrown around a few times and legs felt like they were about to give up any second now, all she could think off was take christopher’s hand as he offered and follow him into the house the party was being thrown, ignoring the curious gaze of everyone else and leaving to find their car. 

they heard later that the guy was hospitalized, broken nose, concussion, ruptured something and that was when she stopped reading. he knew nothing would happen to christopher, not with the police, not when they had enough money to make sure no one would talk about it for as long as they walked on earth. but the scene wouldn’t leave her mind. when she put her head on the pillow, when she closed her eyes to take shampoo off of her hair, when she saw christopher again in the morning. the scene haunted her for the following days, being brought back whenever his discussions became a little agitated. she had nightmares where he was the in the hospital bed, where he was the one getting up, in the end she was always leaving, always crying. her brother’s hands were always covered in blood. and she was always to blame for starting it all. 

𝟒. 𝐟𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐬 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐟𝐥𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠

christopher already knew the signs by heart. when maddie stopped coming home or started leaving just before dinner, when she rolled in the morning with the same clothes for the previous day too many nights a week. when the same guy would go in and out their front door thinking he didn’t see him — he always did, and if he didn’t, he’d just look on the cameras. he could tell when maddie was getting a new boyfriend and most importantly, he could tell when maddie was trying to hide something from him. he always knew. 

she never knew how, but no matter what secret, big or small. the moment she made up her mind to keep it from her brother, he’d stare into her eyes and make her blurt it out without even saying anything about it. and this was it, too. not that her relationship with leon was some type of secret, if so, she had been doing a poor job hiding it from everyone else by parading around on his jacket and kissing him all the way around the carnival. it wasn’t a secret, they’re sleeping together, they were practically sharing a house with how much time she was spending at his place. they were even sharing a cat. leon wasn’t going away, it seemed, unlike every other boyfriend she’s had before by the mark of three months or so. 

and this time, the signs were scarier for christopher. cause before, maddie would simply start bringing her boyfriend around, pushing him into their movie nights once in a while so they could “bond”, making him eat dinner with them when he was sleeping over, having them all ride together for a party or event. this time it was different though. sure, leon was around the house too often but christopher hadn’t been properly forced to face him until maddie suggested a dinner. an official dinner so they could meet, as she called it, even though they already knew each other for over five years or something. 

he agreed to dinner, cause there was no disagreeing when maddie set her mind to something. and as much as it could, it went well, but it was once terrifying, for both of them. maddie had never felt so serious around someone, something, anything, before. meeting her brother, even if they already knew each other, was like a promise to herself that this was for real. and she could tell christopher felt it too, the way leon treated her wasn’t anything like the other guys, even considering his bad temper. the way they talked to each other, the way leon didn’t even flinch when a cat jumped on the table in the middle of dinner. seeing his sister so happy was putting up all the red flags inside his brain, cause if it was this good now, what would happen if it ended?

he couldn’t tell her that, obviously. if anything, madeline was always dramatic. and she knew that as well, from the way chris kept staring at them during dinner, from the way his brows would rise every once in a while whenever leon touched her shoulder absentmindedly, from the way his back was tensing up in the walk back to his car, just the two of them. maddie knew the signs as well and he couldn’t keep a secret from her either. but he didn’t say anything, even if she could tell he wanted, even if she knew he had thoughts rushing through his mind and worries coming out of his ears. he didn’t say anything. he kissed her good night, turned away, got in his car and texted her when he got home. when she asked him what he thought of leon, he mumbled something, grumpy as always and in the end repeating what he had already told her too many times “i already knew leon, maddie”. and when asked what he thought about them, together, as a couple, all he did was shake his head, shrug his shoulders and pretend there weren’t a million things on the tip of his tongue for a simple: “you look happy” 

𝟓. 𝐜𝐚𝐧'𝐭 𝐡𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐠𝐨𝐨𝐝𝐛𝐲𝐞

madeline had never been to a funeral before. which sounded simply insane, considering she’d turn twenty-seven the next year and thinking about the amount of people she had lost, in her family, people she just happened to know, even a friend or two. but somehow she was never there for this moment, when they put the casket down and tossed the dirt on the wooden surface. she was never there cause it scared her, it terrified her that this would  be the last thing she’d remember about someone else. tossing dirt on their lifeless body, and they’re gone. so she avoided funerals, she skipped them giving different excuses, pretending she was too busy, didn’t see the invitation, i didn’t know them enough to go or sending i’m sorry flowers to try and make up for her absence. 

this was the first funeral she just didn’t have an excuse to skip. this was the one no excuse would get her out of and even if there was a good enough reason she could skip it, she couldn’t. she wouldn’t do it to her father, skip his funeral and let people wonder if she didn’t love him enough or if he wasn’t a good enough dad. she wouldn’t even do it to charlotte, even still arguing her mother didn’t deserve all the love she had saved for her, she wouldn’t choose to be petty on her funeral, of all places. but most importantly, she would never do it to christopher. leaving him alone to face it all, face the annoying relatives, the ridiculous questions, the lawyers who wanted to discuss the will at the worst possible moment. the curious eyes, the whispered conversations and pity look everyone had on their faces as they approached them. cause no one knows what to say to you when you lose your mom and your dad at the same time. 

she didn’t make a speech, she wasn’t asked to. she was expected, but no one would frown on her if she chose to skip it, her parents had just died! but she didn’t have to do anything, she didn’t even think about the outfit she would wear on the day. cause christopher did. he took care of the funeral, he choose the caskets, he picked the place, he paid for the catering, he was there four hours before the funeral to see if everything was ready to go. he bought her an outfit, or had someone do it, she didn’t know nor care. he made a speech, he was the first to throw the dirt and he was the one holding her hand when she did. he did small talk with the long relatives she didn’t even remember being introduced to before, and christopher always hated small talk. 

𝚒𝚖𝚐 𝚘𝚗𝚎. them out together and she asks him to take a pic of her, but he’s absolutely terrible at it and takes it before she’s ready. he still keeps it though because who would’ve thought a blurry hand could ever look so cute?

𝚒𝚖𝚐 𝚝𝚠𝚘. i just know that this is one of the first times she’s over at his place. dom is very minimalistic, hence why his counters are bare and his kitchen is entirely plain white. seems like the only colour in his penthouse (and in his life) is her, huh ..

𝚒𝚖𝚐 𝚝𝚑𝚛𝚎𝚎. date night, look who’s getting better at taking pictures. he probably saw that side boob and said bet babe turn around! and he’d be so annoying once they get into the car, pulling out his phone and showing her the pic like “is this one good?”

𝚒𝚖𝚐 𝚏𝚘𝚞𝚛. dom travels for “work” every now and then, and also goes to italy at least once or twice a year. needless to say, if he can convince her to come with him? he will because the thought of going even a week without her is disgusting to him

𝚒𝚖𝚐 𝟷. date night.

𝚒𝚖𝚐 𝟸. one of the three hundred pictures she has on her phone of the day they were on a boat together. 

𝚒𝚖𝚐 𝟹. bothering her with pictures and saying ‘you look so hot’ while mari is on the phone with someone else.