20 reasons why having a horse is better than having a child
You can try out a horse to see if you want it; with kids, you're stuck with what you got.
If you don't like your horse anymore, you can sell it, maybe get a new one. You do that with a kid, and it's "illegal."
You don't have to worry about your horse doing drugs and going to prison.
No need to pop a horse out of your nether-regions to have one.
Your horse misbehaves, you can smack it with a crop. Doing that with a kid is apparently "child abuse."
Horses are going to be thankful for the food and snacks you give them; that kid in your house is going to complain and ask for something else, but be displeased with anything you offer.
You don't always have to put shoes on horses.
Clothing your horse isn't always necessary. If your child is found roaming around naked, it's "neglect."
You're able to teach horses really neat tricks. The only trick your kid is going to do is sit on their behind all day, play video games, and complain about homework.
No need to pay for college tuition and more with horses.
You can't really run over your cheating ex with a 5-year-old child, now can you.
No child in history can run 30mph. Especially with you on their back.
I don't thick sticking your kid in a large pasture by itself all day would go over very well with the authorities.
Horses don't scream their heads off after going to the bathroom.
There's no such thing as changing a horse-diaper.
You can train a horse to jump over 5-foot obstacles and win prizes and money.
Horses are warm and fuzzy and smell good. Kids are all skin and they smell like BO or barf. Or both plus smoke.
You can neuter your horses when they're young. No unexpected grandchildren!
No calls from the school about your horse getting in trouble as you doubt your ability to parent.
No complaining from horses about their wardrobe you buy them.
