Top Posts Tagged with #equallyshaw masterlist

invisible string. | jay halsted x marine + detective.

word count: 12k warnings: ptsd, trauma, some making out + decade long pining. lol

this story takes over a course of about 10 years, snippets from each meeting. enjoy!

also, im in my pd era rn lol | masterlist.

Years after war shaped them and the city nearly broke them, Pearl Delmar and Jay Halstead remain tethered by something unseen — a thread of gold neither time nor distance could sever. Once partners in Chicago’s Intelligence Unit, their connection ran deeper than badge numbers or battlefield scars. But Pearl left — without a word, without a goodbye — returning ther home of San Diego. . All she left behind was a letter…Over a decade passes, their lives unfolding apart yet circling the same ache. When fate threads them together once more, they’re forced to face what was left unsaid. Love, pain, regret — and the gold tags they now wear for each other, proof of the invisible string that never truly snapped.

Some people call it fate. Others call it timing.

Whatever it was, it had pulled Jay Halstead and Pearl Delmar together like a tether. A near-invisible thread — stretched across time zones, sleepless nights, and unspoken scars. They met not in peace, but in aftermath. Not in calm, but in chaos. Him — the Army sniper turned detective. Her — the Marine turned K-9 handler turned detective with a temper like fire and eyes that never stayed still for long.

They were mismatched. Water and oil. Sand and stone. And yet… they fit.

She made coffee too strong. He left his boots in her hallway. They never talked about what it was — this thing between them — because they didn’t have to. It lived in the space between their shoulders on stakeouts, in the way they moved in sync on raids, in the quiet comfort of her leaning on him when sleep wouldn't come.

They stitched each other back together. One scar, one laugh, one storm at a time.

There were moments that felt like forever. Like maybe this was it. That they'd finally outrun the war inside them.

But not all threads hold forever.

She left. No goodbye. No warning. Just vanished into the sun-scorched sand of the Middle East — again.

Only a single letter for him, left in her wake.

-

Pearl had seen hell— Hell on Earth, overseas. Her worst deployment yet, and when she finally got a chance to leave, she took it.

This round left more than scars. It left a wound she'd carry for the rest of her life.

She was always running from it, and somehow, it always caught up.

She landed in Chicago—Midway Airport—at 6 a.m. A cold, steel sky greeted her, but it was home.

Her brother, Elliot, and his wife, Jana, stood waiting with flowers and a sign that read: Welcome home.

Pearl’s combat uniform stood out like a sore thumb among the tank tops and flip-flops that dotted the terminal.

Jana beamed, pulling Pearl into a crushing hug, the kind only sisters could give. “You’re really here,” she whispered, kissing Pearl on the temple before stepping aside for Elliot.

He grinned, eyes crinkling, and lifted her clean off the ground in a bear hug. “You’re not carrying that,” he said as he took her bag despite her protests.

Together, they walked to the car.

“We’re celebrating your birthday today!” Jana announced cheerfully.

Pearl sighed. “My birthday was three weeks ago.”

“Big age. Thirty-six,” Elliot muttered, nudging her with a smile.

Jana opened the passenger door with a smirk. “Don’t care. No protests.”

As Elliot pulled onto the expressway, he handed her a sealed envelope.

“CPD left this at the door for you.”

Pearl’s brows furrowed as she opened it. She skimmed the letter: The department was offering her the option to return. Discretionary. No pressure.

She folded the letter, pressed it flat on the dash, and looked out the window.

“Can we stop at the precinct?” she asked softly.

Elliot nodded.

“You talk to anyone since you left?” Jana asked from the back seat.

Pearl sighed. “Kept in touch with one of them. Letters, mostly. Then… they stopped.”

The last letter still lived inside her leather-bound journal. No hint it’d be the final one.

And then, Geneva. A few nights on furlough, spent with her former K-9 unit commander. Old fire rekindled. Quiet. Complicated. And, as always, when they returned to base— Nothing changed.

The precinct hadn’t changed either. Brick walls still held the weight of Prohibition. Same creaky steps. Same ghosts.

“I can drop you off another day, P,” Elliot offered.

She shook her head. “Only way I’ll adjust is by getting back into it. I need normal again.”

“Ten minutes,” she said, stepping out.

Her Apple Watch vibrated. Heart rate: Elevated.

She clutched her green cap, her boots tapping softly across the pavement.

Officers nodded at her as she passed, respectful and curious.

Up the steps—precise, practiced. Marine-like.

As she entered, her eyes landed on Trudy Platt behind the desk. Trudy froze mid-conversation and scoffed.

“Well, I’ll be damned. Look what the wind blew in.”

Pearl smirked. “Five Hail Marys for that language, Sergeant Platt.”

The patrolmen stepped aside to let her through.

“Furlough?”

She shook her head. “No. I took a leave of absence for a while.”

Trudy noticed everything—the dark circles, the twitch in her hand, the constant fidgeting. She could see it. Pearl didn’t know how to be a civilian.

Her body knew war. Now, this—this was the new battlefield.

Trudy remembered Pearl’s first day's like it was yesterday. The outburst on the floor. Screaming at her partner. The move upstairs to Intelligence.

Voight loved her fire. Her switch—off until danger was near.

Jay had been frozen. Lindsay had grinned, smacked his arm, and said, "Take notes, Halstead."

Pearl was a handler in every sense—read behavior like a book, thanks to years of training with military psychologists. A tracker. A tactician. Tactical Queen, Lindsay once called her. It stuck.

Pearl had become the unit’s unofficial mom. Always keeping everyone alive. Barely.

Now, she stood here—a shell of that woman. But Trudy knew, deep down, that Pearl belonged back on the force.

“Hank’s upstairs,” Trudy said gently. “I’ll buzz you in.”

She paused. “Still like glazed?”

Pearl nodded.

Trudy winked. “Got a box in the back.”

Pearl climbed the stairs. The soft buzz of the door felt like a defibrillator to her soul.

She paused at the landing—just out of sight.

Cracked her knuckles. Straightened up. Marine mode: activated.

Below, the unit worked like any other day. Paperwork. Phones. No one expected her.

Antonio Dawson looked up first. He saw the boots.

“Sweet Jesus,” he muttered, standing slowly.

Ruzek noticed next. His grin split wide. “The queen has returned!” he shouted.

Heads turned. Hailey squealed. Kim shrieked. Kevin laughed.

Jay Halstead didn’t move. He just stared.

Antonio pulled her into a hug. She hesitated, then melted into it.

Hailey hugged her hard, shaking her like a snow globe.

Ruzek kissed her cheek like always. Kim followed with a quick embrace.

Then:

“Delmar,” came the gravelly voice from the office. Hank Voight.

She met his gaze, eyes wide, unsure.

“Alright, alright, let her breathe,” he said. “Come here.”

As she walked toward him, she passed Jay. Their eyes met—soft and stunned.

In Voight’s office, she jumped slightly as the door clicked shut.

He noticed. Of course, he did.

“You want your old job back?” he asked.

She shrugged.

“You wouldn’t be here if you didn’t.”

She sighed. “It’s like last time. I need something—anything—to help me adjust.”

“To find normal,” he finished.

“Exactly. I wouldn’t be here if I wasn’t ready, sir.”

He studied her, then stood and extended a hand.

“Alright. See you tomorrow. Eight a.m.”

7 am, Jay thought. Just like before.

-

She’d been back six months. Six months of readjusting—months that felt like hell on earth. She believed death would be more welcoming, easier, less painful.

Her PTSD was constant, creeping in at the worst moments. There were times she thought she wouldn’t become conscious again—cognizant enough to know right from wrong, left from right.

No one understood. No one truly understood the turmoil, the feeling of being trapped inside your own mind with no escape.

Except Jay.

She and Jay had bonded over PTSD, war stories, and basic training tales when she first arrived on the steps of Chicago.

She’d call late at night, and he’d come running. He’d stop her after work, as they were leaving, asking if she wanted to grab dinner—she’d always say yes. For four years, they became partners in the most platonic way possible.

Sure, at work they were partners, but outside the precinct, within each other's apartment walls—they were comrades, veterans together, the best of kin. They understood each other on a level no one else in the force could. Both knew what it was like to have their minds replay the worst moments of their lives—retraumatizing themselves with death, pain, and anger.

Death of their platoons. Pain of their wounds, both mental and physical. Anger at the war, the daily struggles, and the guilt of not saving their brothers and sisters.

They had met by destiny, by chance.

There was a bond—a love no one could touch. Silent, yet deafeningly loud.

But despite the good, it became poisoned.

Pearl left mid-episode, playing the part of cognizant Pearl, to say goodbye to Hank.

She’d left Jay’s apartment that morning after his nightmare kept him up most of the night. Somehow, she was sucked into her own walking nightmare the minute he finished explaining. She’d left Jay that day softly snoozing, in a rare state of tranquility.

And yet, waking up to an empty bed, cold and folded over—would be forever etched on his mind.

Pearl didn’t show up to work that day—the 24-degree mid-January morning.

She’d been back six months now, trying her goddamn hardest to readjust. But this time, it was different.

She found out why Jay had stopped writing her—he’d found someone.

Natalia. A Chicago-born gal who worked at Chicago Med.

The unit had been at Molly’s when she met Natalia for the first time, and Pearl had to bite back her usual snarky, radioactive remarks—more out of respect for Jay than anything else. Stella pulled her into the firehouse group that night, distracting her from the detective.

Pearl no longer called Jay, suffering in silence, trapped in her own mind. Most nights, she just lay there, staring up at the ceiling.

Then, when the alarm rang, she’d put on the perfect smile and head out for the day.

Despite running on no sleep for at least 48 hours. Running on caffeine and prayers.

-

But she didn’t show up this morning. The unit was worried. No calls, no texts, no emails—nothing.

Kim mentioned something about her brother and sister-in-law, and people assumed emergency—they’d just found out she was pregnant.

No one knew the purgatory playing out inside Pearl’s Lincoln Park condo.

Glass shattered on the floor. Her mind was hazy. She couldn’t think straight or see clearly.

Her episodes had gotten worse recently—she’d lose her sight for minutes at a time. Thankfully, never on shift. She couldn’t afford to.

She sat against the wall, back to the hallway. The empty red wine bottle lay on the floor beside her. Her hands were cut and dried with blood from the shattered glass. She stared up at the ceiling, silently sobbing, asking why the universe had to bestow such anguish—a badge of dishonor, a mark that would stain her forever.

Pearl opened the Uber app on her phone, needing more drinks. Anything to knock her out for the night. To end this torment.

She stood up, dazed and swaying. Ignoring the dried blood on her feet, she slipped on her Doc Martens over faded blue jeans and threw on an oversized winter coat.

The Uber driver didn’t ask questions, dropping her off at Molly’s.

She stumbled stepping out of the mid-size SUV, slamming the door shut. Her body winced at the sound.

Carefully, she walked inside the bar, making sure she didn’t fall over her own feet.

She didn’t recognize the familiar faces. Didn’t look around. Made a beeline to the bar.

“Hey Delmar, want the usual?” Hermann asked, placing a soft hand on her shoulder as a greeting.

She pulled away, nearly falling off the stool.

“You okay?” Hermann’s voice softened, concern thick in his gaze.

“I just don’t know you—that’s all. But can I get a whiskey? Neat. Double,” she said, tapping her hands on the wooden bar with a slight demanding edge.

Hermann’s eyes flickered to the intelligence unit watching her from behind, concern mirrored there.

Stella noticed too, making her way over.

“Hey Pearl, how are you?! We’ve missed you around here,” Stella said, flashing her famous warm, inviting smile as she sat beside her.

Pearl’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “Huh?” she stuttered.

“Are you feeling okay, P?” Stella asked softly, placing a hand on her shoulder.

“Don’t touch me!” Pearl screamed, pushing away and nearly slipping off the stool—if Stella hadn’t caught her.

Jay knew what this was.

He bolted without a word, grabbing her gently within a few steps.

“Hey—hey—hey, P,” he said softly, turning her toward him so their eyes met.

Pearl’s eyebrows creased in confusion.

“It’s me. It’s me, Jay,” he said softly—and that’s when the dam broke.

Her mouth opened slightly before a trembling hand covered it, anxiety and embarrassment flooding her.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered like a mantra, a prayer.

“It’s okay,” he said softly. “Let’s go.” He slipped an arm around her and led her out the front door.

Jay took her back to his apartment, not trusting that she was of sound mind to go home.

There, he noticed the dried blood on her hands. He grabbed his first aid kit quickly, sitting her down at the kitchen counter.

“First aid Jay—my heart—how could I ever repay you?” she teased weakly.

He chuckled softly.

If she was the mother of the group, he was always first aid Jay—coming in as backup once she confirmed everyone was alive.

They didn’t talk much. She kept apologizing, but he wouldn’t hear it.

He was just grateful she was alive and sitting in front of him.

Then came the sobs, as she came down from her warped sense of reality.

Jay wrapped his arms around her as if no time had passed, just like before.

They fell asleep on his couch, wrapped in each other’s arms.

Yet, when the sun broke through the windows, she was gone.

Only the ghost of her perfume and the faint scent of alcohol wipes were left in her wake.

-

Six months later.

She’d been with the unit a year now- and a year out of the Marines. For now, at least.

She and Jay passed each other like ghosts of who they used to be. Who they were together. Who they were apart.

Pearl was still falling apart, it seemed. The descent felt endless. And she was terrified that it would be endless.

The unit did their best to comfort her, to offer company, keep her focused and sharp. Some days, that was harder than others.

Today, Pearl sat at her desk, one leg tapping rhythmically beneath her. A grounding trick. Her eyes scanned the file—front and back, twice—when Adam’s voice rang out:

“Oh my god, a puppy!”

Everyone looked up. Everyone except Pearl. She was underlining something when Hank spoke.

“Did someone adopt a mascot and forget to tell me?”

His gruff voice cracked through the air. That’s when Pearl finally looked up.

And her heart dropped. Then soared.

Echo.

Two weeks ago, she’d gotten an email from her old Sergeant—the one she spent too much time with in Geneva. The message was brief: Her partner, Echo, was up for retirement.

She’d trained him from day one of K-9. He’d been with her on every deployment. A piece of her soul.

And now… she could take him home. Maybe, just maybe, she wouldn’t have to keep carrying a missing piece of herself everywhere she went.

“Echo,” she whispered, tears immediately welling.

Echo cried out too—eager, electric, tail thudding against the tile as he waited for the go-ahead.

One nod.

That’s all it took.

He barreled toward her, and Pearl dropped to her knees just in time to catch him.

His tongue found her cheeks immediately—one year of separation and sorrow swept away in licks and laughter.

“Guter Junge,” she whispered in German through giggles. “Good boy.”

Everyone in the bullpen was smiling. Jay’s eyes shone with unshed tears.

Echo finally stepped back, sitting without command. Loyal to the bone.

Pearl stood, placing one last kiss on his head, and walked to her former sergeant—her once-lover. She extended her hand.

“Thank you, Sergeant.”

He took it with a kind smile.

“Don’t be a stranger now, Delmar.”

Jay watched the way the man looked at her. Soft. Familiar. Something once intimate still flickering behind his eyes. Jay knew. They all did.

Echo, still alert, locked eyes with Hank. The older man stared back expressionless.

“More of a cat person, Marine,” Hank muttered.

Jay snorted quietly.

Voight cleared his throat.

“How about a little furlough today, Delmar?”

Pearl’s eyes widened. She glanced between Echo and Voight.

“Are you sure?” she asked, hesitantly.

Voight nodded, taking a sip of his coffee.

“You two deserve it. We’ve got it covered.”

Pearl exhaled her gratitude, gathered her things, and clipped Echo’s leather leash with practiced ease. She moved quickly, walking out of the bullpen like she had a mission again.

Jay watched her go.

And he hoped—God, he prayed— that this was the start of her next chapter.

-

One month later, she had her worst PTSD episode yet—at work, at least.

They were moving on a warehouse on the Southside when it hit—a bang of metal clanging sharp and sudden through the air.

She was going in with Voight, a few steps behind him, when it happened. They passed right outside a door when her breathing quickened, her mind shifting to automatic like a trigger pulled without thought. There was no going back, not for a while. Her mind blanked, her hearing dulled, and her vision vanished—gone for the moment.

She cried out, sobbing instantly, bracing herself against the cold brick wall. Voight was mid-sentence, barking orders when she started to go down. He caught her just in time, lowering her to the ground.

“Go in, go in! I’m staying back,” Voight ordered.

“Stay with me, Delmar.” His voice was firm as he held her, slapping her face—not hard, but enough to shock her back.

Her eyes flickered uncontrollably, tears streaming down.

“I can’t see! I can’t see, Voight!” she sobbed. He stopped, his hands steadying her face.

“Officer down. I repeat, officer down. Need an ambo at 3211 South Belmont Avenue, now!” Voight barked into his radio.

Jay, across the building, took off running. He ignored Antonio screaming after him.

He knew what was happening.

He was all gut. She was all pattern.

“Stay back, Halstead!” Voight yelled into the radio, but Jay was already in sight.

Pearl clutched Voight’s arms like a lifeline—something to anchor her to this world.

“My eyes!” she shrieked as Jay closed in.

Voight’s face betrayed his terror. Big, bad Hank Voight, shaken to his core.

“I said stay back!” he yelled at Jay.

But Jay didn’t answer. His hands found her cheeks, steadying her.

“Pearl!” His voice cracked with panic.

“I told you to stay back, goddammit!” Voight yelled again.

Jay locked eyes with him. “I’m not leaving her. You can’t ask me to do that.” he snapped.

Voight was stunned, silenced.

Unfortunately, Jay’s radio was on. Everyone heard it as the ambulance rolled up.

Pearl curled into Jay’s side. His demeanor softened; he whispered to her, promising it would be okay.

Then she was ripped from his arms, Brett and Mikami pulling her onto the gurney with Voight’s help.

When Jay pushed to go with her, Voight held him back.

“We have a job to finish,” Voight said. Jay stayed behind.

That moment would be a mark on their relationship from then on.

Because the last look on her face would forever be stitched into Jay’s soul.

Standing there, helpless, without the freedom to act—feeling like he was back in uniform, thousands of miles away across the ocean.

Forever trapped in that torment.

Unable to save the girl he’d loved for far too long.

Unable to protect her from the mind that threatened to consume her—once and for all.

-

He never saw her again after that—well, not for a few years.

The last image he carried, one that haunted his nightmares in every variation imaginable, was of her in pain. Mental anguish. Being ripped from his arms, her mind spiraling, while he was ordered to stand down and stay back.

In that moment, he felt like he was back in the Army—taking orders from a sergeant and forced to obey. He’d forgotten what that helplessness felt like.

Depleting. Deafening. And, honestly, it broke him.

Pearl was sent back to San Diego three days later, to her childhood home on Mission Beach. Her parents took her in. She quit the force, passing word through Trudy once she was lucid enough to form the words. She called her brother and sister-in-law to pack her a couple of bags and bring Echo to the hospital. Pearl was leaving Chicago—for good, she hoped. It had always been a stopover, never the final destination. Whatever that destination was.

That first night home, Pearl finally slept. Soundly. For the first time in months.

Echo curled beside her, breathing easier as he recognized her once-familiar rhythm. The waves outside her window sang her to sleep, and she didn’t wake for 14 hours.

Without much thought, she slipped on her gym shoes, grabbed her headphones, and walked Echo down to the beach. The sun kissed her skin, warm and soft, like a quiet baptism. She smiled up at the sky and let herself be washed in its gold.

Later, she sat in the sand, pulling Echo close for a quick photo. Her sleeves were rolled up on a white flannel shirt, worn over blue jean shorts that looked like they’d seen better days. Her well-loved California rainbow sandals peeked out at the bottom of the frame. And her smile—genuine and wide—was something she hadn’t worn in a long time.

A week later, she pulled out her tried-and-true blank stationery cards.

Dear Jay, There will never be enough words to explain how sorry I am for leaving again—without saying goodbye. I just want you to know: I’m okay. I’m safe. I’m well-rested. And I finally got my açaí bowl... and my Spanish coffee.

She smiled at the memory—Jay showing up at random hours, hands full with bowls packed with oats, cocoa nibs, granola, fruit, and cinnamon. She always muttered “Bless your heart” under her breath as a joke. He’d roll his eyes, then show up later with coffee mid-shift to make sure she was caffeinated enough to fight back the exhaustion eating at her soul.

Please know that I’m alright, and I’ll write again soon.— Pearl

P.S. Here’s a shell—I picked it up on my first walk with Echo. My dad used to say seashells are the way to someone’s soul. That if you hold one close, it remembers something for you. A feeling. A person. A moment. I thought maybe this one could remember something for you too. Maybe peace. Maybe hope. Or maybe just the sound of the sea when things get too loud.

She also slipped in the photo from her first day back—the smile he hadn’t seen since before. Before deployment. Before the weight of the world took hold.

Before everything changed.

-

Jay and Pearl wrote to each other for the next two years, filling each other in on civilian life. The good, the bad, the ugly — you name it, they shared it all.

Jay confessed that even after more than ten years out of the Army, he still struggled. He wrestled with adjusting to civilian life, haunted by the fact that some of his platoon hadn’t been so lucky to make it home.

They talked about the state of the world, politics, the TV shows they binge-watched to distract themselves from nightmares, how she was settling into her new role at the Marine base as a K-9 trainer, how the intelligence unit was doing, and, of course, the everyday mundane things.

Their letters spanned pages, arriving weekly or bi-weekly. Both eagerly anticipated mail time, never knowing if a new letter had come in.

Trudy always wore a knowing smirk when Jay stopped by the front desk, patiently waiting to ask if the mail had arrived that day. She once joked that he should get a job at the post office — to make her life easier.

They shared the heavy realities of the guilt they carried daily, the difficult decisions not to return to active duty. They couldn’t shake the feeling of guilt—knowing they had the rare choice to stay out, a choice most active members never had or would have again.

_

Another year had passed when Jay told her he was leaving Chicago.

He was reenlisting.

She hadn’t seen it coming.

Pearl had truly believed that after everything—after the trauma, the bloodshed, the rebuilding—Jay Halstead wouldn’t set foot on a base again. Wouldn’t wear the uniform. Wouldn’t walk back into the storm.

But if there was one thing she’d learned about Jay, it was this: he never walked away from a fight if someone still needed saving.

It was such a Jay Halstead thing to do, she supposed.

Still, it didn’t stop the ache in her chest when he said the words. It didn’t quiet the voice in her mind that screamed you could lose him.

Pearl was honest with him. Painfully so. But she was also supportive, because she understood. She understood how it felt to still need the mission, even when the mission had almost broken you.

It took everything in her to not beg him to stay. To not ask him to choose her over duty.

Because she remembered too well the long months where her own uniform had stayed neatly folded in a drawer, and how that reality had gnawed at her every day.

It ate her alive—this knowing she wasn’t on the field anymore, that she wasn’t out there making a difference. She carried guilt like armor.

But the only thing that had kept her grounded—kept her alive—was Jay.

So she let him go. With grace. With faith.

Before he left, she pressed her hands to his chest and promised she’d be praying to the stars for his safety. She told him she loved him. And that Echo would remind him, in his own stubborn way, to not do anything reckless.

A week later, she received a letter from him—short and simple.

"Scouts honor"

_

Jay’s letter had arrived twice that week—once on Monday, and again on Friday—just as Pearl was winding down after a long day of housework in her little Oceanside abode.

She furrowed her brows at the unexpected envelope, fingers pausing for only a beat before she carefully tore it open.

Her eyes scanned the words too fast, heart racing ahead of her mind. She had to read it again, slower this time, to make sure she hadn’t imagined it.

He was asking her to meet him in Buenos Aires.

If she could.

Jay knew she was working out of the base in San Diego County. He also knew just how much PTO she’d racked up over the last several months. He told her to bring Echo along, too—said the old boy deserved a trip just as much as they did.

Pearl smiled down at her most faithful companion, who was already watching her with expectant eyes.

“Guess we’re going on a trip, Bear,” she murmured, ruffling his ears with a soft laugh.

_

Two weeks later, she found herself walking through the cobbled paths of Plaza de Mayo, toward the meeting spot Jay had suggested. Her steps were steady, but her heart was anything but.

Her anxiety was a living thing in her chest — clawing, loud, insistent. What if it was a joke? What if he changed his mind?

Jay didn’t immediately recognize the woman standing in the distance — but he did recognize Echo.

She had her back to him, snapping photos of the square. Echo, ever the soldier at her side, stood tall and focused beside her, alert and loyal as ever.

Jay smiled, already hearing her voice in his head, and called out, “Was worried you wouldn’t show.”

She turned quickly — too quickly — and twisted herself into Echo’s leash.

Jay lunged forward instinctively, his hands gripping her arms as she stumbled, steadying her before she could hit the ground.

A startled laugh escaped her, breathless and slightly embarrassed. His eyes searched hers, scanning for injury — or maybe just confirmation that she was real.

She was. Real, and standing right in front of him.

His hands stayed on her forearms a second too long, reluctant to let go.

“I was worried you would flake on me,” she replied with a crooked grin, sarcasm laced in her tone, “but then I remembered that Army transportation is, what’s the word—ah, yes—notoriously slow and disorganized.”

Jay grinned, eyes crinkling. “Hi to you too, Delmar.” He dropped into a crouch beside Echo.

Echo didn’t hesitate — no sniff test, no hesitation. He leapt into Jay’s chest like he hadn’t seen him in years, tail wagging, tongue out, pure joy radiating from him.

Dogs always knew the good ones.

Jay stood, brushing fur off his jacket. “So. There’s a bar a few blocks that way — killer fish tacos, strong margaritas, and guac that might make you cry.” He nodded back toward the street.

She tilted her head, amused. “You remembered.”

“Of course I did. If I recall correctly, you dragged Dawson up to karaoke right after our last taco night. Gabby too. Severide and Casey had to physically remove you two from the stage so Antonio could finish singing ‘My Heart Will Go On.’”

She groaned, covering her face. “I had the worst hangover the next day. But that night? That was a good one.”

Jay smirked. “Second round tonight?”

She pointed a finger at him. “Don’t tempt me with a good time, Halstead.”

Three margaritas later — stomachs full of tacos, guac, and laughter — Jay walked her and Echo back toward her hotel.

There was something different about her now. A lightness to the way she carried herself. Like a stone had finally rolled off her chest.

“I haven’t had an episode in almost a year,” she shared, voice soft. “My psychiatrist thinks I’m turning a corner. I don’t know what ‘normal’ means anymore... if it ever existed. But this? Days like this? It feels like a start.”

Jay nodded, choosing his words carefully when she asked about his deployment. She didn’t need details. She knew. The weight, the reality of it all — still fresh, still heavy. But she also knew these moments — this sliver of peace — were sacred.

They paused at the steps of her hotel. Echo’s ears perked as a nearby band played, couples spinning in rhythm to a vibrant Mexican love song. She smiled softly, eyes drifting to Jay — who was already watching her.

“Uh—” “I—” They both stumbled, laughing like two idiots caught in something much bigger than them.

She took a breath. “Would you want to come up?”

His gaze flickered away, momentarily guarded. But when his eyes found hers again, something inside him ignited.

He nodded, silent but certain.

She reached out. He took her hand.

Upstairs, she unclipped Echo’s leash, letting him curl up by the window with a full belly and a sleepy huff. The room was quiet, save for the city sounds drifting through the cracked window.

She turned back—and Jay was already moving toward her.

Their kiss was magnetic. All the time, distance, and unspoken feelings pulled tight and finally snapping loose.

What once had been water and oil—now churned together like butter, warm and effortless.

His hands slid up the side of her waist, reverent, familiar, and she helped him peel off her black tank top. They stumbled slightly, laughing against each other’s lips before he scooped her into his arms and tossed her gently over his shoulder.

She shrieked in surprise, half-laughing, half-scolding. “Jay!”

He laid her down carefully on the bed, then hovered just long enough to take her in — every freckle, every scar.

God, she was beautiful.

And it wasn’t just the way she looked. It was the way she was. The way she had laughed earlier. The calm confidence that had slowly replaced the storm in her eyes.

He kissed her again. Slower this time.

They undressed each other without rush — no shame, no fear. Just need. History. Love.

His fingers traced stories written on her skin. Her mouth pressed gratitude into every inch of his.

“I swear to God, Halstead, if you—”

He shut her up with a kiss, hungry and soft.

She gripped his shirt, muttering, “Finally,” and pulled it off, exposing him in the amber glow of the bedside lamp.

He looked like strength personified — but she knew how much of him was stitched together with hope and heartbreak.

And in that moment, as she gazed up at him, something fragile and profound passed between them.

She faltered — just slightly — insecurity flashing in her expression.

Jay saw it. He leaned in, gently shifting her back, slowing them down.

He needed her to know: this wasn’t just sex. This wasn’t just a night.

This was them.

Clothes shed. Breath tangled. Hearts cracked open.

What they shared wasn’t frantic or hurried. It was deliberate. Healing. Sacred.

Their bodies collided with something soft and steady — the rare kind of intimacy born from shared pain and hard-won trust.

He looked at her like she was everything.

And she looked at him like he might be the only thing that ever made sense.

Because they both knew — without saying a word — this was more than they expected. More than they'd let themselves believe.

And that scared them.

Because no one knew what tomorrow held. And nothing in their lives had ever been guaranteed. But this? This moment was real. And for now, it was enough. If there ever was such a thing.

_

The image of her leaving and walking into the Mexican airport would be etched in his mind for some time. Though their four days together would overshadow that moment, always.

The two of them continued to correspond for the next nine months, when he sent a letter asking her if she would meet him in Rio in three months.

It has been one year since their last trip.

Her mind immediately replayed their last night together. It had been hot, heavy, and emotional.

All these years not confronting or speaking about thoughts or feelings, boiled over.

And yet, none of their letters had touched on any of it.

It was business as usual between them.

Yet, against her judgement, she wanted more.

But Jay was in no position. It wasn't fair for him, she thought, if she had said anything.

Besides, he was aware of her, but not in the way she wanted, she thought.

_

Rio.

Hot, humid, and full of good tequila.

Her shoulder-length brown hair held soft waves this time—different from her long, cowboy-copper strands of the past. The ash brown had crept back in over the last year, and she welcomed it. She felt like herself again. Finally at home in her own skin, her own story.

Jay stood at the gate, his eyes scanning the crowd, flicking from one traveler to another. His shoulders were tense, a hand resting on the strap of his duffel.

And then he saw her.

There she was—her weekend bag slung over one shoulder, her passport and phone clutched in one hand, a beat-up metal water bottle swinging casually in the other. No rush in her steps. No nerves. Just her.

But Echo was nowhere in sight.

His heart skipped a beat—not the good kind.

“Hi!” she called out with a wide grin, and his fears evaporated as they both moved toward each other, the hug happening naturally—like they hadn’t skipped a beat.

“Hey,” he murmured against her hair, breathing in the familiar scent of vanilla and sandalwood. Still her. Always her.

He pulled back slightly, brow quirking as he took in the new hair. “You changed it,” he commented with a small smile, and she giggled, brushing a piece behind her ear.

“It was time,” she replied with a shrug, her smile softening.

He looked over her shoulder. “Where’s Echo?” he asked, already reaching for her bag without needing to be told.

She exhaled, her smile dipping into something gentler. “He’s with my parents for the weekend,” she said, watching his face. “Everything’s okay,” she added quickly when concern flickered in his eyes. “He just... he prefers naps to airplanes these days. He’s earned that right.”

Jay nodded, a smirk curling on his lips. “I’m glad that’s all. He’s a good guy.”

“A very good guy,” she agreed, voice warm as they slid into the car he’d rented.

They drove along the Rio coast, windows down, the breeze tugging strands of hair from her face. The city buzzed around them, music drifting from open-air bars and beachside shacks. Brunch was vibrant—sugar-dusted pastries, eggs with too much chili, and mimosas poured too generously for someone running on adrenaline and not enough sleep.

They hadn’t planned on falling into bed that fast.

But plans were for people with better self-control.

Maybe it was the warmth of Rio. The way it clung to her skin, bringing color to her cheeks and light to her eyes. Maybe it was the way she laughed with her whole chest now, her guard down in a way he hadn’t seen since... before.

Maybe it was the mimosas. Maybe it was muscle memory.

Or maybe it was them.

Pearl hadn’t expected to feel it this intensely again—this magnetism, this fire. She was flirty, bold, unfiltered in a way she hadn’t let herself be in a long time. He responded in kind. One shared glance turned too long, one brush of his hand over hers too soft, too intentional.

The air between them crackled the whole ride back to the hotel.

By the time they reached the door, the tension had built into something that dared them to ignore it.

She fumbled with the keycard. He stood too close behind her.

"You remember which room we're in?" she asked without turning around, voice playful, breath already a little uneven.

He leaned in slightly, his breath warm against her neck. "Only if you're in it."

Her laugh was soft. Nervous. Hopeful.

Inside, the door clicked shut behind them, and—

_

They hadn’t meant to fall into bed. But the morning sun filtering through gauzy curtains didn’t seem to care.

Pearl stirred first, curled against his chest, the rhythm of his breathing slow and steady beneath her cheek. The sheets were tangled at their waists, the air thick with the scent of skin and last night’s hotel lavender.

She blinked slowly, taking in the curve of his jaw, the faint scar near his collarbone, the dog tag chain still around his neck. Familiar. Sacred. Still hers, in the quietest way. A part of her had always memorized him like this. Just in case.

Jay shifted beneath her, his voice gravel-soft. “You always this cuddly after mimosas?”

Pearl huffed a laugh, her fingertips tracing an idle line over his chest. “Only with people I’ve known in three lifetimes.”

He let that sit for a moment. Then: “I missed this.” His tone wasn’t teasing. “I missed you.”

Pearl’s breath caught, just a bit. “You could’ve said something. Before now.” Slightly teasing.

“I didn’t know how,” he said, eyes meeting hers. “And I guess I thought maybe you were better off. Without… this.”

Him being here. Her being home in San Diego, training puppies. While he was trying to make it home.

“Jay.” Her voice was soft. Too soft. “You were the only thing keeping me breathing some days.”

His hand slid along her spine, grounding them both. “I don’t know what we are anymore. But I never stopped feeling it.”

She nodded, eyes pricking. “Neither did I.”

A beat of silence stretched between them—full of possibility, hesitation, and everything that had gone unsaid.

Then, with a smirk that barely masked the way his voice cracked, he whispered: “So… breakfast?”

Pearl laughed, burying her face in his chest. “God, yes. But you're not getting out of this talk forever.”

“I’d never want to.”

And somehow, even though nothing had been declared… something had been spoken.

_

They never did, in fact, finish that conversation. But they did spend their afternoons barefoot on the beach, their evenings sipping tequila in hole-in-the-wall dives, and their nights tangled together in that narrow, borrowed bed.

She returned to the beaches of Oceanside unsure of where they stood.

The way he spoke—so openly, so unlike him—meant something. But he was still too unsure to voice what or how he felt. Just like she was.

So they continued as usual. Their correspondents. Their limbo.

Until the phone call came. She never got phone calls.

Jay. Tennessee. Outpatient rehab. Rubble from a bomb. Three to four months. He wanted her there. No—he needed her there.

That night, she had her first nightmare in over three years.

That night, her mind made up for all the slow and steady years lost. Years where nothing shifted. Years she spent trying to feel steady again.

She clutched her dog tags to her chest as Echo curled at her feet, offering what comfort he could. The cold steel kept her grounded—reminded her she was still standing, ten toes down, on this side of the veil.

Her tags meant she was still here. They were still here. They hadn’t been given to someone else.

By sunrise, she and Echo slipped into the airport for a red-eye. Alert. Exhausted. Awake. Coffee and croissants were her only lifeline that morning.

They landed outside of Nashville just after 8 a.m.

Jay was already there. Sling on his arm. Waiting, patient. Waiting for his lifeline. His compass.

His smile stretched wide when he spotted her—and she didn’t hesitate. She picked up her pace, Echo right at her side.

Without a word, they fell into each other’s arms like they’d been doing it for decades. Like it was second nature. Familiar. Home.

Echo sat patiently beside them, smart enough to wait his turn—and wise enough not to jostle the injured shoulder.

The three of them walked out the doors, hand in hand, and straight into the next few months.

Three long months.

The epitome of domestic bliss.

Fresh coffee every morning from a French press. Daily walks through the neighborhood. Fights over how Jay folded his laundry. Him judging her dish-loading skills.

And of course— The unspoken sweetness of sex. Soft, passionate, intoxicating sex.

But they kept pretending it was nothing. No big deal. Just two people… coping.

Except it was everything. It was the first thing on their minds when they woke, and the last thing pressing on them when their heads hit the pillow.

Everyone around them saw it. Something deeper. Something settled. Painfully domestic.

They played the part of partners too well. So well it terrified them.

Because they both knew what came next.

The unknown. War. Death. The possibility Jay wouldn’t escape it again. Wouldn’t outrun it this time.

She’d always said she could never be an armed forces wife. Because she couldn’t live with the thought of losing her partner to war. She had already lost enough of herself to one. She couldn’t imagine losing someone else—especially not the one she was meant to spend her life with.

That’s why there had been Nico McDowell.

Her other sergeant. The one she’d spent too many nights with in Geneva to ever make it anything more.

She always told herself it was just a distraction. A way to be close to someone—intimately, temporarily. Just enough to survive the long months. The endless days of dust, fear, and fire.

So even now, even in domestic bliss with Jay, it all struck a nerve.

Because no matter how good it felt… It reminded her of what could never truly be.

_

Their last day in Tennessee, Jay invited her to spend a few final days in Savannah, Georgia—his last three days of leave before shipping back out to South America.

They’d overheard a couple raving about it in a restaurant weeks earlier, and after a little digging, Jay had decided it was the place. Quiet, coastal, full of charm. He wanted one last escape before heading back into the chaos. But more than anything, he wanted to spend it with her. Only her.

Pearl had agreed with a smile on her face—the kind of smile she reserved for everyone else. The one that didn’t reach her eyes.

The two of them were a slow, aching unravel. This—whatever this was—was dying, and they were going down with the ship.

After a warm day of wandering through Savannah’s sunlit squares and draping moss-lined paths, they returned to their rented room, where the night was quiet, hushed, and calm. They held each other like they had the night before a mission—full of tenderness, full of fear. It was the calm before the storm.

The next morning, she slipped out early for a run with Echo. Her legs moved through the still streets, but her mind was loud—racing with everything she wouldn’t say.

Back in the kitchen, she made coffee and stirred together some oatmeal, her fingers absently holding her mini gold dog tag like a lifeline.

She couldn’t shake the feeling that she and Jay were a ticking time bomb, and that this—this fragile, beautiful thing between them—was one mortar blast away from being obliterated.

Jay padded in, greeting Echo with a gentle rub before the dog nestled beneath the breakfast nook. He stepped up behind Pearl, pressed a soft kiss to her cheek, and reached for a coffee mug beside her hand.

She felt her cheeks warm as his arm wrapped around her waist. She leaned into him slowly, gratefully, grounding herself in his warmth—while the cold press of her dog tag kept her steady.

A compass. A lifeline.

Jay’s gaze dipped down to the delicate chain, brow creasing. “What’s that?” he asked.

Pearl glanced down, then up at him with a faint smile. “My parents had it made when I got back from my fourth tour in 2008,” she said, fingers brushing the tag. “It’s a smaller version of my dog tags. My parents still have the originals back home. I didn’t start wearing it again until this year.”

She turned slightly in his arms, her hands finding the counter’s edge behind her. His eyes held hers, as if searching for more—searching for the part she didn’t say.

He didn’t press her. Instead, he bent his head and kissed her forehead, slow and steady.

That was answer enough. Her silence said everything.

The storm was coming.

_

They sat on the balcony of the rental, tequila between them, the humid air thick with cicadas and silence.

"You know the Army wouldn’t last a day in a real Marine op," she said, smirking behind her glass.

Jay scoffed. “That’s rich, coming from someone who left her combat boots behind for a K9 training leash.”

Her eyes narrowed. “I still outrank you.”

“Only in sass.”

It started as banter. It always did. But then something shifted.

“They have more structure,” Jay added quietly. “Resources. Stability. Marines burn out by thirty. Army gives you something to come back to.”

“Sure,” she bit back, “if you make it back. Marines might burn out, but at least we don’t pretend we’re built for comfort.”

Jay stiffened. “Is that what you think I’m doing? Choosing comfort?”

She hesitated. “No. I think you’re choosing what's easier.”

"Funny," he said, voice quiet now. “Coming from someone who ran.”

Her breath caught. “I didn’t run.”

“Then what do you call it?”

A long pause. Then she shrugged, falsely casual. “Survival.”

He looked at her then — not angry, just tired. Tired and something else.

“You always do that,” he said. “You wrap the truth in uniforms and old arguments. Like this is about branches or brass. But we both know it’s not.”

She swallowed hard. “Then say what it is about.”

He looked away, down at his hands, the glass, the railing. Anywhere but her. “We wouldn’t survive it. Not really.”

“Because you won’t let us try.”

“Because you won’t stay.”

And just like that, it ended. They didn’t yell. They didn’t cry.

Just silence— The kind of silence that cracked something deep inside.

An hour later, they were tangled in the sheets again. Desperate. Wordless. Pretending it meant nothing.

But it did. God, it did.

She straddled him, both of them drowning in the heat—fueled by everything they wouldn’t say.

Her breath caught as his hand slid up, grazing her chest, not in lust—but searching.

Searching for it.

Her dog tag.

He clutched it, fingers curling around the cool metal like it was a lifeline. A compass. Maybe it was.

And as the morning crept in—sunlight slicing through half-closed blinds— it became exactly that.

A direction. A decision.

When Jay rolled over, reaching for her— she was gone.

No Pearl. No Echo.

Just her dog tag, resting silently on the nightstand.

Her final answer. Her own quiet goodbye.

She’d pulled down the one thing that had been hanging between them since the beginning—something neither of them ever named aloud.

Call it a situationship. But that word felt cheap, when you counted the scars, the sleepless nights, the way they bled into each other.

Whatever it was— it was over.

And her dog tag said what she never would.

Death.

And now, it would take its place next to the seashell and photo- of her and Echo, she had sent years ago.

_

Somehow, someway, she had made it back to the Windy City—a place she still considered a stopover on the way to her forever home. Wherever that was.

A year had passed.

Which meant she was now forty-six.

She felt old. Exhausted. Behind on life.

But moving back to Chicago offered a quiet kind of solace. She found purpose in helping raise her brother and sister-in-law’s two kids—children she absolutely adored. With the rest of the family back in San Diego, their little crew here felt even more sacred.

She and Jay hadn’t exchanged a single letter since that night in Savannah. She’d cut things off with finality, leaving behind her dog tag.

It was two-fold.

On one hand, it marked the literal death of whatever they were.

On the other, it meant he could still carry a piece of her wherever he went.

Just like she still carried his letters—and the trinkets he’d sent from South America.

But today, she stood tall in her dress blues, dog tags hanging from her neck. Echo by her side. They were being honored, along with over a hundred other service members. Former Marines—now.

After her final deployment, she’d left the door open. Just in case. Even though every return home meant battling a war in her own mind, she always thought—maybe—she’d go back. Back to hell on earth.

But after Jay… she chose something different. She chose retirement.

No longer an active Marine. No longer bound to the battlefield.

It was terrifying.

And yet—here she was, facing the thing that scared her most: letting go.

Sergeant Nico McDowell had just finished his speech. The words held layers, subtle nods only some would catch. Her family heard them. So did the select few friends invited.

When her name was called, she stood with Echo, walking across the stage, saluting McDowell before he pinned the Marine Commendation Medal to her chest.

Then, he handed her a shadow box—an American flag, Echo’s dog tag, and a coin etched with his name, unit, and recognition.

The crowd erupted for Echo—retiring as the only K-9 that day. And let’s face it: people loved dogs.

They turned to take a photo, and she felt it—that unmistakable touch. Nico’s hand on her lower back. Familiar. Habitual. History.

She led Echo off the stage, back to their seats.

An hour later, the hugs poured in—her parents, her brother, his wife, her best friend from basic training back in 2002.

“Oh! Did Elliot tell you?” Brianna asked.

Her brow furrowed.

She didn’t respond. Because that’s when they saw them.

Staff Sergeant Jay Halstead. Sergeant Hank Voight.

No longer Detective Halstead. He lost that title the night she left him.

Now, she acknowledged his rank in the Army. Out of formality.

“Hank?” she asked, just as Echo’s tail wagged furiously at the sight of Jay.

Two South American deployments and three long months in Tennessee had made her favorite guy miss her favorite man.

Well… used to be.

“Couldn’t miss my favorite kid retiring, now could I?” Voight said with a smirk.

She laughed, hugging him one-armed as Echo began to pull forward—eager.

Slightly irritated, she let go of his leash, confident he wouldn’t run.

She was wrong.

Apparently, retirement suited him well.

He bolted, only to stop suddenly—his paws pressing into the thick grass of Millennium Park.

She tilted her head, confused.

Echo stared directly at Nico—the man who brought out the brightest parts of her. He had laid her foundation. The one who made her feel something in the quiet of Geneva nights, in between croissants, espresso, and tangled sheets. He trained her. He built her.

Then Echo turned.

Jay.

He represented what could have been. At one point, maybe even her future. He symbolized all the things she tried to outrun: the military, her vulnerability, her post-war identity. But he also stood for a life after chaos. A life rich in meaning—though shadowed by trauma, PTSD, and anger. He gave her stability when she didn’t even recognize herself. Held her through the dark. Loved her in quiet, steady ways. His letters—his love language.

Her hands clenched at her sides.

Echo looked at her.

Just once.

As if to ask—

Which one do we become now?

_

It started the moment Jay fell asleep— the familiar, hated nightmare.

Pearl, bleeding out. Echo, nowhere in sight. And him—frozen—unable to reach her before they took her. The devils. The ghosts. Satan himself.

He jolted awake, chest heaving, sweat trickling down his temples and collarbone. The panic surged fast—sharp and suffocating.

His eyes locked on the nightstand. His phone lay next to her dog tag—the one she'd left behind like a ghost of goodbye. He reached for it, fingers curling around the cold metal before snatching up his phone with the other hand.

He called the one contact he thought might still come running.

Might.

After all this time?

Across the city, in Pearl’s apartment, an arm was draped over her waist— warm, familiar. Comfort in the dark.

She and Nico had just drifted off when the phone rang. Her body tensed on instinct.

Always a light sleeper, she blinked herself awake and answered quickly. “Hello?” she murmured, voice raspy from sleep.

On the other end—silence. Then breathing. Shaky. Unsteady. Just enough panic woven in to make her heart stop.

“Jay?” she whispered.

And that was when she knew—she had to go.

_

Pearl made her way upstairs fast, her boots hitting the stairwell with a heavy, steady rhythm—Marine-like.

Her training kicked in on instinct, like she was searching for a wounded company member. And in many ways… she was.

Her hand paused on the handle of his apartment door before twisting it open. She shook her head with a small grin.

Unlocked. Just like always.

Jay used to say—rarely, but meaningfully—that he liked playing with fire. He liked toying with death and danger. It made him feel comfortable, at home in twisted ways. Like he was back on the battlefield. And for some veterans… that’s the only way to feel at ease.

Her boots hit the wooden floor. She moved toward the bedroom but paused in the hallway. Soft sobs floated from the cracked door.

She shrugged off her jacket, revealing a well-worn knit cardigan, and kicked off her scuffed Doc Martens. His head turned slightly at the sound, his breathing catching for just a second.

She walked in slowly, her knit socks silent on the carpet.

Jay looked up. Their eyes met.

She saw how war-torn he truly was.

New scars—ones she hadn’t seen a year ago. The same man she’d fallen in love with, but worn down by war and violence, re-molded by grief. His eyes were the darkest shade of blue she’d ever seen on him. No light. No peace. Almost black.

"What are you doing here?" His voice was broken, shallow.

Her brows knit, arms crossing tightly over her chest. With a small scoff, she said, “After ten years… that’s what you ask me?”

Ten years of letters. Ten years of hookups. Ten years of circling the conversation they both refused to start.

To finally—once and for all—either come together… Or let it all die.

The thing that had kept them breathing. The thing that had kept them human.

Jay blinked slowly, her words sinking in. Ten years of her. Ten years of them. Flashing in and out like gunfire.

"You’d really think," she continued, voice cracking, "after ten years of me running toward you—toward the chaos, the war inside you—that I wouldn’t come tonight?” Her breath hitched, and tears welled. “You think I’d just sit back while you're in here drowning? You think I’m that cruel?"

“Hey—hey,” he whispered.

He pulled her toward him, between his knees, his hands wrapping around her hips. Her skin lit up like fire beneath the fabric.

She leaned in, her forehead pressing against his. They both exhaled.

Stillness.

His eyes were shut tight.

And in the silence, she felt it. The nightmare. Still playing in his mind. Her, bleeding out. Him, just out of reach.

She pushed him back softly, just a bit, before straddling him, her hands clasping both sides of his face.

His hands found the base of her back, his thumbs hooked around the front of her waist.

"Hey—hey, don’t leave me. Don’t disappear on me," she whispered, brushing her thumbs gently over his cheekbones.

His forehead pressed against her chest, and his arms wrapped around her like he needed her to stay upright. He breathed her in—vanilla and sandalwood—like it was oxygen.

"You’ve spent ten years running from me. I’m not giving up on you just yet, soldier,” she murmured.

He gave a quiet, broken chuckle. “I could say the same thing about you, marine.”

She smiled faintly, but the silence that followed curled at the edges.

Then his voice came, low and sharp. “He was at your place. Nico.”

Her body tensed under his touch.

Jay didn’t look at her. Just stared past her, jaw clenched. “Lucky guess.”

She pulled back just enough to meet his eyes. “And what, you thought I moved on? That I replaced you with a voice and a uniform?”

His eyes searched hers, torn between wanting to believe and not daring to hope.

“You don’t get to be angry,” she whispered. “Not when we haven’t spoken in a year. Not when you disappeared without a word.”

He swallowed hard, voice thick. “I wasn’t angry because it was him. I was angry because it wasn’t me.”

Her breath caught.

His gaze locked on hers. “I wanted it to be me who answered your calls. Who got to see you walk in wearing that dumb cardigan, still pretending it’s not cold outside. Who got to fight with you, make up with you, fall asleep beside you.”

His hands tightened around her waist. “I know you left that necklace to end things. But I didn’t see it that way. I kept it. I carried it with me—through every base, every rotation, every goddamn firefight. Like a piece of you was with me.”

She stared at him, eyes glassy.

“Jay…”

He stilled, "Because I wanted to tell you in Savannah. I wanted to ask you to wait for me. I was going to — I was ready to give you everything. But you left me. You left me with just your dog tag." he paused, biting the inside of his lip before looking back up at her.

“You said I liked playing with fire,” he murmured, “but you’re the one thing I kept. The only steady thing. Even if you burned me.”

She let out a shaky laugh, hands still on his face.

“You’re impossible.”

“And you’re the only place I ever wanted to land.”

Then, softer. “Has anyone told you lately that you’re dangerously unpredictable? Like some ghost of the Corps? Always quiet… always slipping through the cracks… always showing up right before I fall apart.”

Her nose scrunched in a quiet laugh through her tears.

“You’re such a liar.”

“Semper Fi,” always faithful, he whispered. “I meant it.”

She grinned, but it dropped quickly, her demeanor turning serious. Stoic.

"Why? Why did you run, Jay? Why did you string me along for so many years? Was I just a placeholder? For the time being? Until you-you, found someone who wasn't broken? Who wasn't running from the never-ending war, in my mind?" She asked softly, voice faltering.

His heart broke, because that was never it.

Jay shook his head, eyebrows furrowing, "Oh god no-never, I-I," He paused as his own voice gave out. He swallowed, taking his time to find the right words.

"You're not broken, Pearl, you've never been broken. I only ran because, I've always believed you deserve someone better- someone who isn't broken. Who doesn't wake up every night, clutching the pillow, afraid his heart is going to give out, who thinks he's never gonna be able to step back from the ledge." He said, his gaze flickering, pulling away, feeling ashamed.

She sniffled, "How about a truce, Mr. Man?," She teased, slight humor in her gaze.

He chuckled softly, "Truce, boss," He grinned.

Pearl smiled, her body sagging just a bit. Her eyes flickered down to his chest, and she saw a faint outline of a necklace or something beneath his grey shirt.

Her eyebrows creased, her gaze never flickering back up, as she slowly traced her hand up towards his neck, he breathed in nervously.

Her hands found the gold necklace, before pulling it through and freeing it.

Pearl gasped, tears brimmed her eyes, as she stared at it.

Her gold dog tag, that she'd left on that damn beside table in Savannah, Geargia.

She opened her mouth, but Jay beat her to it.

His voice was low—steady, but barely.

“I know you left it to end things. To walk away clean.”

He looked up at her then, eyes sharp but soft in a way only she ever saw.

“But I never saw it that way.”

He reached up, brushing his fingers over the tag, still resting against her fingers.

“You left it behind... but I carried it. Carried you. Everywhere I went.”

He swallowed, voice just above a whisper.

“It was never just metal to me, Pearl. It was a piece of you. And I couldn’t let go of that. I didn’t want to.”

She didn't respond; she didn't need to.

Her kiss said all the words she couldn't say or form.

Jay lifted her off him slowly, setting her down gently on her back, and her arm rested near her head, mirroring his other arm on the other side.

His gaze bored into hers before his lips kissed her—soft, slow, like a sacred prayer.

When he pulled back, just enough to breathe the same air, his voice dropped to a murmur.

"Has anyone told you that you're the most unpredictable, stubborn, pain-in-the-ass Marine I've ever loved?"

She laughed through her tears, and he smiled.

"You move like a ghost when you want to, sneak into my life like a mission no one sees coming… and every damn time, you leave me wrecked in the best and worst ways.”

He brushed a thumb under her eye.

"But you also show up. When it counts. Like now."

She grinned, pulling him down with such fierce force- their mouths colliding like an animal hunting their prey.

Shortly after, their bodies wrapped up in one another, savoring each other's warmth and presence.

Holding each other like they were heading off for battle tomorrow, but the only battle was their mind this time - and that, that was enough.

_

It was four months later, and the early sting of May heat poured down on the city. Pearl’s favorite time of year. What made living here worth it. What made the winters survivable.

Her back faced the world as she stared up at the courthouse.

Her blush-blue mid-length dress fluttered in the soft wind of the afternoon. Her cream-colored — pearl — heels shifted every few seconds, fingers clutching a bouquet of peonies and eucalyptus like it was life or death. One hand slipped instinctively to her chest, to the spot beneath the fabric where a small gold dog tag lay — Jay’s.

It steadied her.

"Didn’t think you’d show!" came the unmistakable sass of Jay.

She turned in a single twirl.

His breath caught in his throat as he took in the effortless beauty of his soon-to-be wife.

She smiled — a little nervous, a little self-conscious — before teasing with a sultry grin,

“What, and miss the chance to haunt your nightmares in white lace for the rest of your life?”

His breath caught again.

“Sweet mother of God,” he muttered, eyes refusing to meet hers — because if they did, they might not make it up the steps to get married.

"Besides, army transportation is notoriously slow, remember?" She quipped, and he shook his head with a chuckle.

“Come on, Detective.” She laced her fingers through his, tugging him toward the entrance. As they climbed the steps, he patted his chest — the place where the flower spot held her dog tag. Just double-checking. Again. As if he hadn’t already ten times today.

“You’re late—” Trudy began, pausing to inspect their outfits — or lack thereof. “You’re boring, Halstead.” Then, eyeing Pearl, she added,

“But you look nice.”

Pearl blinked. Trudy never complimented anyone. Jay was about to speak, but Pearl patted his chest with a smirk.

“Shh,” she whispered.

“Judge Ellis hooked me up — old friend. Let’s go,” Trudy grunted, motioning for them to follow.

Their hands stayed tightly locked.

Hearts pounding — hers, his — perfectly in sync. Like always.

“There she is!” Kim’s voice rang out. Pearl looked up to see her standing with Hailey and Voight, leaning casually against the marble wall.

“You guys look good!” Hailey grinned, rushing in for a hug.

Voight stayed back, a small smile playing on his lips — quiet approval.

“You kids clean up nice,” he offered, voice gruff in the way that still soothed them. “Nice suit,” he added to Jay, who flared with pride — maybe a little cocky now.

“And you — darling — as always,” he added to Pearl.

She nodded in thanks, eyes a little wet already.

Trudy huffed, pushing open the door to the small courtroom.

“Let’s go,” she barked, clearly irritated… but deeply invested.

Inside, no judge waited. Just Trudy — arms crossed, eyes expectant.

Jay and Pearl stood together at the front, hand in hand, her bouquet now in Hailey’s care.

Trudy glanced between them.

“You two have emotionally wrecked half the force — maybe a few civilians — but sure, let’s get you legally bound.”

The sarcasm was thick. The love was thicker.

“Marriage is a little like policing,” Trudy began. “You gotta show up every day — even when it’s raining — and remember why you signed up.” “These two? They’ve been showing up for each other for over ten years. This is just making it official.” A pause. “And thank God — I’m tired of watching Jay walk around like a kicked puppy.”

Laughter rippled through the room. Pearl beamed. Jay rolled his eyes — barely.

They giggled softly, holding each other’s gaze, as Trudy gestured for them to begin.

“First aid, Jay — you’re up,” she barked.

Pearl grinned, wide and toothy.

Jay chuckled, pulling his hand from hers and fishing into his jacket — right where her dog tag rested.

Her heart ached — full, full, full.

“I spent my whole life learning how to survive. War zones, alleys, backrooms… I got good at walking away. At shutting doors before anyone could get close enough to hurt me.”

He looked up at her, a soft flicker of a smile forming.

“But then there was you. And no matter how many miles we put between us… how many times I messed it up… Somehow, you always came back.”

A beat.

“You are the loudest silence I’ve ever known. The stillness I didn’t know I needed. You saw me — all of me — and you stayed.”

He took her hand, grounding himself.

“I know I’m stubborn. I know I don’t say things when I should. But this? This is me saying it. I love you. I want every version of life with you — the good, the bad, the bloody, the boring.”

“I vow to fight for you. To show up. Even on the days I forget how to breathe — I will remember you. I will choose you.”

He smirked. “And I promise to work on my clothes folding. Scout’s honor.”

Laughter again.

“But mostly… I promise to never let the fear of losing you stop me from loving you — fully, recklessly, every single day.”

His eyes glistened. “Because you are the only war I’ve ever wanted to surrender to.”

A single tear fell from Pearl’s eye. She sniffled, chest tight, heart thunderous.

Still, she stood steady.

“You once told me I was reckless. That I didn’t know when to stand down.”

She laughed softly.

“Yeah… guilty as charged. Because no matter how many times I tried to walk away, I always ran straight back into your fire.”

“Even when it burned. Even when I swore I wouldn’t do it again. Because somehow… the burn always felt better than the silence.”

She paused, breath shaky, voice cracking just a bit.

“I’ve made peace with a lot of ghosts in my life. But not you. Never you. Because what we have? It’s not something you bury. It’s something you carry. And I have — every step of the way.”

“You and me — we’ve been through war zones and worse. Not just the ones with bullets. The ones in our heads.”

“And yet here we are. Not because it was easy — But because it was real. Because we chose each other. Again and again… even when we didn’t say it out loud.”

She grinned, wiping away a stray tear.

“I know Echo would be over the moon we made it here. Probably wagging his tail with a bone in his mouth — wearing that bowtie he hated.”

Jay laughed, tear falling free. She pressed her palm softly to his chest.

“So this is me choosing you. Not because I have to. But because I want to — on the good days, the bad ones, and every impossible in-between.”

“You are my safe place in a world that never quite was. You are my ‘I made it home.’”

“And if this is the rest of the fight… Then I’m in. Always. Even when you’re being a stubborn, impossible, maddening soldier.”

She smiled. “Especially then.”

Trudy smirked and slowly stepped back out of frame.

Jay and Pearl blinked at her.

“Kiss, goddammit,” she muttered.

Laughter. Cheers. Flashbulbs.

Jay stepped forward, cupping her cheek with one hand, thumb brushing gently along her skin.

He pulled her into him.

The small group clapped and hollered as Jay tilted her back slightly, kissing her like he meant it — like they’d survived everything just to get to this moment.

She pecked him again, fast and smiling.

“I love you, Ranger.”

“And I, too, Marine,” he whispered, stealing one last kiss.

No more running. No more tiptoeing. No more ghosts. No more pretending they were just shadows of who they used to be.

Just them.

Partners — in every way that counts. And most of all: in love.

They were like an invisible string—their dog tags—pulling them together for over ten years. But now, that string was infinite.