Priority: None Cry, cry, cry. Cry baby. Cry all your emotions out, because once you're done you still feel just as absolute fucking shit as when you come back to the feeling that you don't mean as much as the person that mean the world to you. I just thought now after all this time I'd matter enough to be told 'i love you' before leaving, but maybe not I suppose. I asked to be in a different place, but I'm just in the same place with different people. Again this painful summer of waiting around for a message. Again wondering my own worth. Again with the unbearable angst and just unable to even breathe. No matter what I fucking do, I can't stop feeling this way. I can't stop feeling so shit for such stupid fucking reasons. I can't stop crying, I really can't stop wishing I was important. Wishing I wasn't easily forgetton, wondering if I'm better, maybe I'd be worth more. I don't want to feel this way anymore, I feel like I can almost always be there, but not have someone always available for me. Why should they be; I'm not worth enough to be anything more than a toy. I swear I was stronger, I swear I wasn't this way before. Why am I like this? I don't understand. Maybe it's love, maybe it's attachment. I can't get used to constant messaging, and then nothing at all. I wish I wasn't like this. I just feel like death. And yet I feel like I can't say anything. I just feel stupid. There's no way to forget, no remedy for my petulant pain. I'll only ever lie about my wellbeing. Insignificant emotions, insignificant girl. Sometimes I still wonder if there's a purpose for me at all. Push me away, I'm just forgotten. It's not like I need you. Not like I wish for you to tell me you love me like before.
Suffocated - Orianthi
