#entry six

Jordan sat at the conference table. She let out a bored yawn. There was a 0900 meeting and she was about 20 minutes early. At the table a few other officers and NCOs were in attendance, though most were either drinking coffee, reviewing the meeting agenda or their own papers, or listening in on a linkpearl.

About five minutes beforehand, the organizer of the meeting, Commander U'Namo Tia, arrived. The brusque man, in his mid-forties, and about as stiff as the overstrached uniform he sported stopped at the head of the table and, still standing, let out a cough.

"Ahem. Let's get started."

Jordan and the other stood and gave a perfunctory salute before they all sat. At this point, Jordan noticed someone with him. An Auri woman that she couldn't quite place, espeically in the red jacket and gray epaulets that signified her as a non-comissioned officer.

"Officers, I'd like to introduce my new Assistant, Staff Sergeant Ikuko Morioka. She was promoted from the infantry ranks for her exceptional logistical capabilities in Quartermaster's Office. Please, introduce yourself, Sergeant."

The Auri woman bowed in the Eastern manner. "Greetings," she said softly, almost meekly, appending a tremulous, "Til' Sea Swallows All."

The officers in the room nodded and the Commander began speaking, "Okay, the agenda for today is largely in regards for preparations in Alliance maneuvers on the Eastern Territory..."

The meeting itself was largely unproductive save for the status updates from each department. Jordan herself was mostly there to talk about the result of a meeting with her counterparts from the Flames and the Adders. At this point they had gotten used enough to each other that the meetings were 30% hammering out logisitcal details (these days the Flames and Adders providing Infantry and Cavalry, respectively, while Limsa brought its considerable artillery support as well as supported with Logistics and it's Arcanists to supplement the troops of Thaumaturges and Conjurers) and 70% complaining about the job, spouses, kids, bad backs, and airship sickness.

As other spoke, Jordan couldn't help but notice the Auri woman. At first she was afraid she was letting her eye wander on the job, especially to someone who was at least twenty-five years her junior. After a second she realized her thoughts weren't libidious, but investigative. She started imgaining the otherwise normal looking Auri woman not in uniform, but in loose breeches, light padded leather shoes and gloves, a bandanna covering her put up long hair, and a face mask.

Jordan cursed herself. She'd stopped keeping close track of the new folk who walked into the Dutiful Sisters of the Eidelweissm, especially after the influx of Doman refugees. 'Auntie' was letting her work get in the way of her duties.

After the meeting the other officers stood and went on to business but Jordan stayed back a moment.  The Commander stood and address his assistant.

"Thank you Sergeant. When is my next appointment?"

"1200, sir."

"Good. I'll leave you to your duties until then. I'll be in my office."

"Yes, sir."

The Commander briskly left, leaving Jordan and the Auri Sergeant who stayed behind. Jordan got up and moved to leave, though she slowed as she approached her and said, in a low voice:

"Lonny spotted a dimber mort with a bit of deft millwork, eh?"

The Sergeant smiled and said, "The Upright Man suggested I speak with Auntie when I could."

Jordan nodded, "I'll be 'avin high tea in me usual table, 'en. Remember if'n yer 'ere, ye 'ave ta uphold the law-"

"and defend the code."

YESTERDAY (11/16/2020) WAS MY FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL.

i do school in person and i met some teachers or whatever. the school is pretty big and like i didn’t get lost yet but i might. the school has awesome teachers.

the math teacher is pretty cool, for the first time i actually understand math. like wtf is synthetic division?? whatever the fuck it is, i understand.

i had some bald white dude that didn’t let people charge their phones in class which i really stupid. fuck is someone charging their phone gonna do??? hurt you?? stupid bald man. that’s why you don’t have any hair. he’s very particular with his words too. like he’s not that bad but at the same time i hate him and hopes his cat bites his nose off in his sleep.

for lunch i didn’t even go in the cafeteria. i just sat on a bench and waited till lunch ended. an administrator asked me if i was okay and i said yes, BUT BITCH! i was NOT okay, the very opposite of okay.

but today (11/17/2020)

i had art for second period and she saw my drawing and she liked it, which is great. but now she’s gonna expect too much from me. she also wants me to stay away from manga and cartoon styles but that sucks too. thats a form of art that should be embraced. art teachers really need to stop telling their students to not pursue the form of art that they love just because its not standard.

my next period is digital design, im learning photoshop right now and its really cool. i can’t wait to start drawing using that software. we had to use adobe sparks to make a comic and that was cool. when i first stepped in the class the teacher went “who the hell” AND WHEN I TOLD YOU I WANTED TO SCREAM. like he curses almost every sentence. so im standing there tryna tell him im a new student and there was a student standing right next to him on the other side of the desk.

this dude called her a stank booty lil girl. I FUCKING YELPED. this teacher isnt haitian and like he’s white but he uses creole words and expressions in his speech. YOOO HE ASKED ME IF I WAS SMART. LIKE DEADASS IDK AM I? but i told him that i passed all my classes and my tests and like he said i was smart. if only he knew my brain was empty.

no thoughts, only rocks.

BUT WHEN I TOLD HIM I WAS A SENIOR THAT DUDE JUST SCREAMED OUT FFUUUUUCKKKK AND HE DRAGGED IT OUT. HE HIT HIS HEAD ON THE DESK-

(bro im writing this rn in class and this nigga just sneezed next to me. he over here sniffling and shit. GO HOME PLEASE)

lunch is coming up and they do lunch by the floor levels. first lunch is first floor, second lunch is second floor and so on.

im on the third floor.

im hungry but im not gonna go to lunch.

my 6 period teacher is testing so ive been in the c.s.i room for this class the whole time. listening to them talk about sports and stuff. very boring and the football coach talks shit about everybody and it dont make any sense. THOSE ARE CHILDREN.

I feel guilt gnawing at me. I finally muster up enough courage and say, “I’m sorry I didn’t believe you.”

She nods and looks over at me, “I’m sorry I didn’t try to contact you or dad.”

We sit in comfortable silence until she adds,

“You could come with me? Be the first organic chemist to discover sentient plant-life.”

I don’t answer her. I don’t know what I’m going to do now.

Man, this year is already almost over. How incredible. It doesn't even feel like it's close to the end of the year.

I had a dream last night. I was...running down a street. Something was growling and chasing me, and I tripped. When I went to get up, the thing clawed at my calf and tore it up. I tried screaming in pain, but nothing came out. I woke up in a cold sweat, and someone whispering "run" in my ear.

No one was home.

                The morning light reflected off of the placid water of the pool, brightening the earth-and-baked-clay rotunda. Adelaide slowly stirred to consciousness. Opening her eyes, she was surprised to find Joel already awake, with his back pressed to the curved wall. Sitting on the grass, his knees hugged to his chest, he was chewing his lower lip and intently staring at Gabriel’s tanned back.

                As Adelaide rose, she caught Joel’s attention. He gave her a slight nod, which she returned. She walked to the other side of the pool and lowered herself to the ground beside him. “You alright, Jo?”

                Joel immediately answered with a weak “no,” shaking his head. He cleared his throat and looked up to her. “That’s bullshit and we both know it. Sorry.” Adelaide wrapped her arm around his shoulders and pulled his head down to her chest.

                “You wanna talk about it?” She asked in hushed tones.

                He breathed deeply a few times. “I don’t know, Ada.” He paused for another few moments. “I’m just. . . frustrated? That doesn’t feel like the right word, but. . . I know there was something between me and Gabriel. I can feel it, you know? I mean, I figure we all knew each other beforehand because of how well we all get along, but I just know there was something between us. Uh, I mean, Gabe and me, but I think you and I had something, too? Maybe?”

Joel pulled away from her, hanging his head and cupping his face in his hands. “I’m so fed up with not knowing anything about who I used to be, Ada. I know everyone else is, too, but I’m tired of being worried about talking to you guys about it.”

Adelaide opened her mouth, but before she could get any words out, he cut her off.  “I know none of y’all have a problem listening to me about how I feel; I just can’t seem to bring myself to actually do it until someone wakes up and sees me being a massive creep and staring at a naked sleeping motherfucker that, for all I know, may have either been the dearest person in the world to me or a complete stranger.” Joel rubbed his eyes agitatedly. “I dunno. I’m done, I guess,” He laughed weakly.

                Throwing her arm around his shoulders again and giving him a firm embrace, Adelaide began to speak. “Listen here, Joel. Everyone here but Gabriel knew how you felt about him. He’s not going to initiate anything, no matter how much he wants it—with anyone—because he’s too caught up in everyone else’s professionalism. He’ll never do anything you wouldn’t want him to because he’s more interested in making sure everyone else is comfortable. I mean, making everyone a little uncomfortable and getting naked at the drop of a hat aside, anyway.” She cracked a grin at Joel.

                “If you wanna go for it, go for it. If you don’t feel comfortable, don’t. I can’t tell you what the past was, but you have a choice here, Joel Avery Wilder. You can either sit here and wonder about what was from now until the matter that composes this godforsaken places degrades into a heat-dead nothingness or you go on and choose to make sure that a person you are very clearly interested in knows it. There’s no promise that we’ll ever recover yesterday, son, but we’ll always have the duty of building our tomorrows.”

                Standing tall, Adelaide brushed the dirt from the seat of her track pants and the back of her tank top before reaching a hand down to help her partner up. He stared up at her with eyes wide as saucers for a moment. A smile slowly spread across his face and he accepted the assist.

                Joel wrapped her in a strong hug. “Thanks, Ada. I love you.”

                “Love you, too, Jo.” Stepping back, she looked over at their sleeping comrades. “Reckon it’s time to get a move on?”

                “Yeah.”

                “You wanna shake Gabe awake?”

didn't get in trouble for anything so i kept on doing them and whatever everything was p sweet for a while but then one day  i remember it was at dusk when this happened so we were making a new vine and whatever and almost out of no where  i think it was the owner of the parking lot?? im not too sure but for sure at least five cops were with him and well i'm not too sure what exactly we were doing in the vines like my dream showed me but i don't remember sadly umu so anyways judging there were cops there im pretty sure it was in some way or form illegal whatever we were doing in the vines to be honest?? i mean that's what you'd assume right?

okay right so soon as they calmly came walking in and near us my friends left like a pack of fucking cheetahs or some shit like seriously they were that damn fast i swear  but anyways so they left  which meant they left me  by myself  alone  so they (cops) told me to surrender and i did what anyone in a panicked situation would do tbh at least what i would think  and that was to run  so i ran but i wasn't fast-- but still just enough to get out of their sight for a few paces forward  they were calling me out yelling how i was in serious trouble now  so there was obviously no going back  idk what to do now  i was so afraid  but i had to do something  something quick  so i jumped over a gate, onto a roof, and basically extreme parkored my way out  that was something i was really great at apparently yet not running lol

so i was roof jumping but they sort of had a lead on me still and i knew it- they were following me as quickly as they could, just waiting for me to run out of breathe or screw up or something so they could catch me. by now, it was dark-- really dark. i wasn't afraid or anything but if i couldn't see where they were how  was i supposed to stay out of sight they probably had flashlights or something which i obviously didn't have-- i didn't even have my phone to use as a light since i wasn't taking the vine.

so soon enough i stop roof jumping and enter a house, it's sort of creepy and eerie but i thought this was a chance to loose them and i was willing to do pretty much anything to get them away from me or at least loose my trail for a while. so i entered. tbh i don't even remember if it was even by the door i could of entered through the window for all i remember rn tbh but the point is that yeah i got in and it was abandoned- so old and dusty. there was some antique furniture in there, but the most prominent and obvious feature of the house was quite obviously the dolls. there were quite literally traces of dolls everywhere- but in all reality, there were only five dolls-- at least in complete contact, not broken-- in the whole house itself. the house was extremely dark as well, hardly any better than outside even. 

what i remember the most though was the feeling of being followed all around the house, and the more i explored the house, the more i saw whatever was following me-- which was a life sized doll. creepy as hell to be honest-- no, not even creepy, it was horrifying. i don't know if it had any bad intentions but come on that's really creepy it's not even supposed to be alive you know. but i was caught. they flashed their lights inside from their cop cars which they now had- they were originally following me by foot.