#entry 100

Sam’s Journal December 31st, 1999

So it’s the last day of the century. So many things have changed.Dean and I are on our own. Bobby and Rufus were reluctant to let us go, but Dean pulled them aside. I didn’t hear most of what he said, but I did hear the words “protect”, “forever”, and “love”.

They assured him they were only a phone call away. I thought maybe he might want to go to Kansas, but he shook his head. He said he’ll probably never set foot there again.

So he asked me where I wanted to go. I didn’t need much time to think about that. “Texas,” I told him.

So he took me to Texas.

I tested in to my Junior year at the local high school. Dean promises I won’t change schools again. (Got straight A’s so far). Dean has a job as a mechanic. It’s not much right now, but if he stays, he’ll make good money eventually. It’s enough for a small studio apartment.

My weight is back to almost normal again. I still have some food aversion, but I’m not throwing up at all. I’ve gained 20 pounds and feel great. I still have more weight to gain, but I’ll get there. My Physical Education class keeps me in shape.

I do still have nightmares. John. Her. Always vivid. Not every night. Maybe 2-3 times a week. But Dean is always there, his arms around me, whispering words of protection and love. They are terrifying as fuck, though. I wake up screaming a lot. I’m getting better. It’s a slow process.

But he’s never left my side.He’s always there. And I know he always will be. I know he’s waiting to tell me. I heard him talking on the phone earlier...

Yeah Bobby. Thank you for understanding. Yeah, I’m...I’m going to tell him tonight. I think he’s ready. I am too. Yes, Bobby more than anything. I don’t understand it either, but it’s just right, ok? Right for us anyway. I will. I do. Yeah, I really will, Bobby. Forever. Ok, you too, Bobby. Happy New Year. Yep. Bye-bye.

He didn’t know I was listening. But my heart feels really good right now.

10 minutes before midnight...

Dean told me. It looked he was going to explode from nervousness. Tears of joy slipped down my cheeks.

And then.

Dean kissed me. Like really really kissed me. His lips were so soft and gentle. His hands pushed through my hair, tugging me gently closer until I was straddling his lap, facing him. His hands moved and rested on my hips.

“Sammy?” he asked quietly and I nodded. he pressed me closer.

We watched the ball drop on our small tv as we kissed into the new year. The new century. The new millennium. The new everything. With Dean, I know I will be ok. WE will be ok.

Me and Dean. Together. Safe, protected, loved.

Forever.

I passed out in the middle of flirting. Again.

I think I made a deity angry once. There's no other explanation.

I believe my day at registration deserves to be post 100. I went to registration today, hopes moderately high, to deal with stupid people. We went through the wrong door and began signing up in the wrong aisle. We finally figured out where we were going and I got my picture, ID, bus, locker, and schedule. It was a hassle, and then we began to look at my classes and stuff. So.... I'm okay now.

The brothers where not on this floor either. Damn, I really thought they'd be here. Pip-boy went off when I entered the room like an old radio with no reception. The message that popped up says, "Welcome to the Vault-tec Pip-boy communication panel". It seems that I can now receive and send messages to those with Pip-boys. To bad I don't know anybody with a Pip-boy. Looks like a useless feature to me. Back to the task, I found that the building is 3 floors high. That means I have to scrounge up yet another card key. Great.