#enough angst

Dream's own past affairs were highly romantic, turbulent things. There is something different here, a certain peace that he hasn't had before - shared cups of tea after a long day's work, the sending of a gentle dream to ensure a good night's rest, cooking in the kitchen, teasing and flirting. In another universe, Dream spends more and more time in the Waking World, builds friendships other than Hob alone, basks warm and content in the affection not just from his dearest, but from others. Dream learns that he is worthy of love and being loved and that he can love without calamity and disaster following.

It doesn't happen here. This affair is still secret and new and thrilling, just between the two of them. And Dream ends up being afraid again, afraid of his own desires, afraid that his sibling is meddling once more. Inevitably, Dream screws up and hurts Hob badly, is conquered by his own doubts, his own tragic flaw.

Hob's not a saint and he isn't perfect and he is still, blessedly, only human after all. So of course he's angry and he lashes out, his pain tearing open wounds in Dream's already tattered heart. See, this proves it - Dream is an unworthy creature and already, Despair has her hooks into him, even though this horrifies her. She can see it now, that the games she and her twin have played are not giving them what they wanted. They will lose another brother.

The story might have played out in its more familiar form. Dream seeks out Destruction, together with his sister Delirium. Orpheus points the way, but Dream must grant him his final rest in return. Family blood is spilled, Daniel Hall will be taken, the Kindly Ones will rage and Daniel will be transformed into Dream of the Endless. He will be the new Dream and he will always be Dream of the Endless, as if Morpheus had never been.

Something else happens though - before Dream makes his way to Orpheus, he visits baby Daniel one more time. He's not sure why, but perhaps this is a goodbye or the closing of a door on a might-have-been. He would have liked to have told Daniel stories, let him come near to him in the Dreaming, sing this little one songs and make him toys, the way he did for Orpheus long ago.

And that's when it hits him - he would be so selfish to condemn Daniel to take his crown, to be the new Dream. What is it with him that Dream cannot stop hurting the people he loves and cares for. That he can't seem to stop. He has to stop. He must.

The choice is clear - Dream cannot die. But he can change.

There are ways to appease the Kindly Ones and Dream makes of his own heart an offering, spills his heart's blood on the soil of the Dreaming. Tears follow, salt and water and life for grief, for guilt, for a father's love for his son - one last gift that it was in his power to give.

When it is done, the Kindly Ones depart and the Dreaming is safe, held in the dream of the most powerful dreamer of all - Dream himself. He sleeps, tear tracks still trickling down from his closed eyelids, blood on his hands, an emerald held fast on a golden chain between his fingers, his chest a gaping wound where his heart should have been.

Calliope comes, because she knows the moment her son has found his peace and she wants to mourn with her once-husband, the only one who would understand her pain. She finds his crumpled form and it's Delirium who sits next to him, her mismatched eyes the same color for once - the same as Dream's own.

There are three women who lay the King of All Night's Dreaming to rest in a bower within the heart of the Castle. His former wife, his oldest sister and his former raven-turned-Librarian. Lucienne, through her tears, keeps the emerald dreamstone. She is Steward of the Dreaming now, with power enough and Dream's own will, to keep the Dreaming safe until her lord returns.

Unknown to everyone, Delirium walks away from the Dreaming with a baby sleeping in her arms - snow-pale skin, black hair and blue eyes that held the cosmos in them. She holds an aspect of Dream of the Endless in her arms, her brother's unspoken, secret wish - to be remade anew, to change, rather than die.

Hob can't truly stay angry with Dream for long - his own heart is broken, but he can't stop loving him. Not when he knows why Dream can be so self-sabotaging and destructive. He's held Dream in his arms, listened to things that Dream had never spoken of to others, not even to his beloved oldest sister. In another life, Hob Gadling would have had the time to show Dream his fears were groundless, would have had a chance to show him he was loved, that mistakes happen, that fights can blow over and forgiven, that they could learn and grow together.

In the Dreaming, Hob instead finds a kingdom truly united in mourning and a sleeping Prince who will not be awakened with true love's kiss.

Let me just nope myself into the sun.