#endthrive

he quickly shakes his head,  the solution dom offers him not one that aaron can stand for.  many years ago,  he might have needed that ultimate protection  ---  when he was just a kid,  barely out of high school,  ready to start his new life  .  .  .   only for it to be halted and never get the chance.  back then,  when he still tucked his shirt into his khakis and tied his tie tightly,  when he wore an innocent smile as he told everyone around him that they would get back to their families soon.  things are so different than they were back then.  

back then,  he didn’t know how to protect himself from threats like this.  that’s different now,  though  ---  and while he will always appreciate what dom has done for him,  it no longer has to be one of them protecting the other.  they do it together.

             “  you wouldn’t be the first.  ” 

voice is quiet,  soft even,  when he raises his hand to the other man’s features.  fingers lightly brush against his jaw,  beard scratching against his skin.  he always likes the feel of him beneath his touch.  there’s something so solid about jonas,  tangible.  he doesn’t feel as afraid of him suddenly being ripped from his grasp.  when he holds him,  he isn’t terrified that he’ll open his eyes and find he’s vanished.  despite the fears of the other man,  jonas’s affection makes him feel safe. 

@endthrive​​​ asked: you didn’t need me anymore. / shane & clara (fuCk i'm sorry) ➜  The 100 sentences.

     𝐓𝐄𝐄𝐓𝐇 𝐁𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐃𝐎𝐖𝐍 𝐎𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐋𝐄𝐒𝐇 𝐎𝐅 𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐋𝐎𝐖𝐄𝐑 𝐋𝐈𝐏 𝐈𝐍 𝐅𝐑𝐔𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍. ( You didn’t need me anymore. ) repeats over and over in his mind, hands balling into fists, knuckles white as nails dig into palms and he’s beginning to pace back in forth like a caged animal for a good two minutes before coming to an abrupt halt and turning to face her head on. “ I didn’t need you anymore? Is that what you thought ..........” He starts, voice cracking with frustration. “ ....... That i’d jus’ walked out on you like you meant nothing to me?” All anger he had been feeling, ever ounce of rage was never directed at her but to himself and when he looks into her eyes it all melts away. He’s reaching out for her, knuckles brushing cheek, hand sliding back to rest against the back of her neck and he falls in to her with a gentleness to rest his cheek against the top of her head. 

“ You’ve meant everything t’ me ever since that Night in the hallway at the CDC. You remember? When you kissed me? Wasn’t a lot, but that night meant a lot to me y’know? N’ the night ....that night I shaved my head .......” He’s referring to the night he shot Otis now, something he still has difficulty talking about to this day, but she knows everything inside and out. He’s always been honest with her. “  What you did for me that night. I’ll never forget it.” He continues, knowing that she’s still waiting for the explanation, waiting for why he left her and everyone else in the dead of night without so much as a word or even a letter. Something to tell her where and why he was leaving. 

mason doesn’t know him because alden never gave too much of himself away to the saviors at all.  and that wasn’t ever because he’s a closed off person  ---  he’s the very opposite,  in fact.  he loves to share his own stories and experiences and relate to others,  loves to get to know people on a deeper level rather than just survivor to survivor,  but that never felt like the place for it.   

the people there,  before they were given the title,  had taken him in at the worst time of his life,  just after he lost his brother and made decisions out of grief rather than logic  (  the very thing he’s always prided himself on doing.  )  they used that for their own advantage,  gave him hope when he needed it  ---  and he so blindly took it,  willing to give the place a chance simply because there was shelter  .  .  .    and because he didn’t know anything else.  he and his brother always dreamt of creating their own home  ---  seeing hilltop was the first chance that alden ever felt like that was possible. now that he’s here,  he is desperately trying to get back to the person he’s supposed to be  ---  the person he wants to be.  not someone who is closed off,  not someone who is afraid to be himself,  but someone who embraces it.  

he smiles at mason,  shoulders shrugging as he rests his hands on his hips.   ❝  wouldn’t say i know anyone back there,  not like i get the chance to know ‘em now.  different place,  different circumstances  .  .  .   i won’t let nothin’ that happened there define who we all get to be now,  y’know?  ❞    he doesn’t want any hostility with anyone.  he’s worked very hard to earl the trust of the people of hilltop,  clearing his name and becoming someone they all trust.   they trust him enough to be an ambassador between the communities and the sanctuary  ---  and though the latter is not something alden ever felt like he was fully a part of,  he’s willing to do it if it means more people from there get the same chance to start fresh,  just as he does.   

her hair is untied and resting over her shoulders,  something rare for her,  usually an indication that she’s settled in for the day.  she pushes her hand through it and smiles with amusement at his words,  shaking her head.  ❝  spent enough time alone out there,  don’t you think?  ❞   she mutters,  turning to look at him and smiling.  that’s not true  ---  she’s had it well,  a large, sheltered home with power and unlimited resources,  always surrounded by people.  but she’s just as good at playing the role of the one who’s exhausted from her life on the road,  wandering to nowhere in specific,  no home to her name.  

her stomach twists with the reminder that she likely doesn’t deserve that.  he should have let her go a long, long time ago  ---  and that’s exactly what she wanted back then.  but selfishly,  part of her always hoped he hadn’t,  because she hadn’t let him go,  even if she was the one who walked away.  who she is now isn’t the same person she was when she cowardly left him behind,  but that doesn’t mean she can’t still hold herself accountable.  it’s how she reminds herself to be better,  work harder  --- to be what the people she cares about deserves.  

and he has always deserved so much.  so much more than her.

❝  think you fought long enough.  more than you should’ve  .  .  .    for me,  ❞   she mumbles,  brow raised as she looks up at him.  the sight of coco resting peacefully in his arms is one that tugs at her heart in a way she never imagined she would feel again.  but something about it just feels right,  enough for a smile to tug at her lips.