#endl

1. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE WORD?

The three liches are puzzled by the question at first - why did words matter? But they quickly regain their focus, answering the question. “Omni is a great sounding word,” Cyan spoke first, “And it’s a prefix too, so you can add it to other words! It’s-” he attempted to explain his choice further, but was disrupted by the deep, hollow cackle, coming from above.  “We both know the reason you love that word is because you’re an omnitool-addict, you play around with that thing non-stop,” the giant lich teased the smaller one. “And that’s a problem why exactly? An omnitool is useful! And at least I have a reason to like the word! What’s your favourite word then?!” Cyan nearly snapped back, getting too upset, too fast.

“No idea. Whatever sounds nice at the moment? I’ve heard a few nice ones since we came to Earth. Cake, Caravaggio, harbinger... you know?” the big lich said in a voice that implied that his choices were absolutely obvious and everyone should probably understand why he made them. “These words have absolutely nothing in common. I have no idea what you like about them. One isn’t even a word, it’s a name!!” Cyan argued, still flustered, because Endl didn’t let him finish earlier. “Oh? Well, it’s a good-sounding name,” the giant laughed again, turning to the youngest of the group. “Have you thought of a word yet, Oad?”

His magenta-coloured eyebrows shot up in excitement, “Yeah! Marbles! I still don’t know what they are or what they do, but doesn’t the word sound great?! I could say it all the time!”

“Oad, you do say it all the time, and while it’s nice to see you happy... please stop,” Cyan sighed, his hands on his face. He didn’t sign up for this.

2. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE WORD?

“What is it with you humans and your obsession with words?” Cyan groaned. He was not up for another debate about how a name should not be considered a word. Unless it’s his name, which actually is a word. He got angry trying to explain this to Endl, even though he knew that the eldest lich probably understood, but took some sick joy from watching Cyan get annoyed.

“I don’t know what my least favourite word is! Words are not to be favoured! They are to be used!” “But you had a favourite word though. Don’t contradict yourself Cyan, what message are you sending to Oad?” Endl slid into the conversation, a skeletal grin on his face. “Do you have to monitor everything I say? It’s a silly little human pop quiz where we answer questions! There’s no need to take any of this seriously! I just picked a random word that sounds nice! And now I have to pick one that doesn’t! You know which word doesn’t sound nice? Endl! There! So what’s your least favourite word?!”

“...Pollock.”

“Th..” the black skeleton sighed heavily and rested his head in his hands, trying not to loose his cool. “What’s a name,” “Well I don’t like the sound of it.” Endl responded, not mentioning that what Cyan had said in a fit of rage was also, in fact, a name. “I am not falling into this trap again. Next - Oad, what word do you hate?”

The smallest lich gave it a thought. “Paperwork. Because I don’t like doing it.”

“That’s fair,” Cyan nodded, relating to the younger comrade’s loathing.

3. WHAT TURNS YOU ON?

The liches look at each other. “What the heck does that even mean,” Oad asked, looking at Endl for explanation, before Cyan decided to settle the apparent confusion. “Look.. I’m not going to assume you’re offensive on purpose, I mean, seeing the robots you’ve been developing on this planet I could see the confusion, but, we are not robots, or androids,” he said. “We don’t have an off-on switch.”

4. WHAT TURNS YOU OFF?

“What is it with these weird questions?!” Cyan grumbled, activating his omnitool to research what the questions wanted from them. “I know what it means,” Endl spoke finally, while Cyan was attempting to get an application that would allow his beloved little device to process Earth’s internet connection. He made sure to wait until the dark lich found the application and started downloading it, which he knew was going to take some time. “You do?!” The slim lich nearly shouted in annoyance, “Well gee thanks for telling me earlier! What does it mean then?!”

“It’s really just something connected the breeding habits of humans. A way to make the process more, fun,” Endl said, “I’ve been reading some magazines,”

“Oh, is that all? Well, then I apologize for assuming they thought we were androids! Either way! Liches don’t breed, so, these questions are of no meaning to us,” Cyan said.

5. WHAT SOUND DO YOU LOVE?

“Sound! Ah, here’s some good question! Do you know of v̷̟̞͍̣̗͍̰̮̈́͋̄́͢ͅi̴̇̊ͩ҉̯͇͖b̷̻̗̫̰͛̇̍̀ġ̛̟̭̤̏y̢̩̺͈̫̹̥̘̿ͅo̺͙̱̹̣̞̭̹̔ͧͥͯ̂r̨̤̳̩̞̬ͪͫ̈ͦ̅́? They’re my favourite band, best music to listen to when I drive around, which is something I do a lot,” Cyan exclaimed excitedly. “They’re not that good. We must’ve listened to their albums a million times over too, so they get kinda tedious,” Endl replied, thinking about what sound he loves best. “Hey, it’s not my fault they haven’t released a new album in 500 years, you shouldn’t rush geniuses! Also, they are that good.” “Yeah, I think they are pretty good too,” Oad agreed, taking Cyan’s side. “Yes! Finally someone with taste! What’s your favourite sound then, Oad?”

“Oh!! Okay, the other day I was walking around outside the city, right, on the more green parts, and there was this big, hoofed animal, it was brown, can you check your omnitool on what it’s called?! Anyway, it made a sound at me, and it was such a good sound!” he stopped talking, to look at the picture of a camel, that Cyan’s omnitool brought up. “No that’s not it, the one I saw had like, hair? And, it’s body was of a more simple shape, more like a dog, less like a, uh.. mountain? And, I’m pretty sure it was domesticated,”

“You’re not giving me much of a solid description here, Oad,” Cyan cackled, bringing up another picture, “Was it this?” “Yes! Well, it was a different colour, but everything else is pretty much spot on! Now find what it’s called, and then find a video of it screaming!”

“Apparently it’s called a horse, let me just, --oh,” the black skeleton brought up a video of a neighing horse, and the liches listened with utmost attention. “That is a good sound,” he commented, when the video came to an end. “Yeah, that was pretty good. Better than v̷̟̞͍̣̗͍̰̮̈́͋̄́͢ͅi̴̇̊ͩ҉̯͇͖b̷̻̗̫̰͛̇̍̀ġ̛̟̭̤̏y̢̩̺͈̫̹̥̘̿ͅo̺͙̱̹̣̞̭̹̔ͧͥͯ̂r̨̤̳̩̞̬ͪͫ̈ͦ̅́,” Endl replied just to tease Cyan again. “It was NOT better than v̻̦͔̲͚̝͚͇̊̿̈̈́͟i͎̗̖ͦͦ̒ͧͧ̂͠b̷̯̬̼̝̟͔̰͎̏͗͟ġ̳̣͘͡ŷ͕̣̱̟͌͛͠o̸̟̟̙ͨͭ̽́̚r̵͚̖̲̝̰͔͉͙̲̄̓ . It’s good but it has no harmony! No melody!” Cyan almost got upset. “Yeah I agree with Cyan, horses sound very good but they are still just animal noises, you can’t compare that to sentient beings making music, stop trying to annoy him, Endl,” Oad laughed, pulling at the giant lich’s arm. “What’s your favourite noise?! You haven’t answered yet!”

“Hmm, let me see..” he took a moment to think about it, “Oh, I got it - you two gotta agree on this to some degree - the first noise any non-lich creature makes when you exit a possession. They usually sound so confused, it’s hilarious.”

6. WHAT SOUND DO YOU HATE?

The three aliens replied almost in perfect sync. “Mentor’s yelling.”

7. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CURSE WORD?

“I don’t think any of our curse words can properly be translated in human language, we could try, but it wouldn’t do them justice, so, no,” Cyan replied first.

“I’ll have to agree with Cyan on this one. Lichkind has some great curse words but they are more sounds than words with actual meaning, if you get what I mean?” Endl nodded his giant head.

“I like human curse words,” Oad said, “But I don’t know what half of them mean,” he added, pulling up a small notebook and going over a few swear words he had written down. “I think ‘holy shit’ is my favourite because taking that gross thing humans do and making it divine is just so hilarious to me,” he laughed.

8. WHAT PROFESSION OTHER THAN YOURS WOULD YOU LIKE TO ATTEMPT?

“Aw, I know that one, easy answer! I’d love to be a possessor, like Endl! Taking anyone’s body at will with little resistance is so cool!” Oad quickly responded.

“Well, the question says ‘profession’ so I assume it doesn’t mean our class, but more like, our job? I’m still in training to be a law-enforcer, but my second choice was actually to be a telekinetics mentor,” Cyan said proudly.

“Wow, your second choice of profession is to boss people around? How completely unsurprising,” Endl cackled, “I work as an communications engineer but am currently on a 50 year break. My second choice would be... Probably something to do with researching other life forms, probably. I like working with people,”

“Aw, it was that kinda question? I don’t even know what I want to be as it is, I’m still in school,” Oad laughed, somewhat nervously, “Oh man, I’m really missing out on a lot... I hope my mentor will go easy on me once we finally get to return home, heh,”

9. WHAT PROFESSION WOULD YOU NOT LIKE TO DO?