#ena1

Like let's look at the facts (this is gonna be a lot of unnecessary rambling with no clear conclusion, I warned you)

#1 Ena was left behind by her classmates on art school

While this points out lack of talent, this can also be a result of Ena being overly confident in herself and relaxing, since she's the daughter of an artist too, but she's really hard working so this assumption it's kinda reaching. At the same time, we never get real proof she was left behind, that is what she said right after getting told by her father she's talentless and with a lot of negative bias in her mind. She was also constantly complimented before by her peers for her art, as she has said

#2 Ena has won prizes in contests in middle school

Not really a big talent indicator, she has been drawing for a long time, but winning at all in contests that have so many people is actually impressive (and i hate Shinei for downplaying it like you need to be a genius to be an artist)

#3 Nobody else has called her talentless

The only professional reference we have aside from Shinei is Yukihira, and honestly all he did was point out how her approach to art was wrong (calling out her inferiority-superiority complex basically). He points out a lot of mistakes but the girl hasn't been on an actual art class in two years, not even talent can't erase that

#4 Ena points out how other non-artists people are so great at drawing

Mafuyu and Akito, specially, which suggests she thinks they're maybe a bit closer to their level even though they're just beginners. But she has an inferiority complex, her opinion is once more not a reliable source

#5 Mizuki said she has talent when she first doubted her art in front of Niigo

In a look into the past during And Now, I Wear This Ribbon Mizuki says Ena is really good but doesn't seem to have confidence, and while Mizuki is not an artist, it's canon that she's really smart so I kinda trust her judgment and assume she knows about quality, and she wasn't attached to Ena at all in that moment so she had no reason to be biased. Plus, Ena's art was good enough to inspire Mizuki, who was really depressed at the time, to make a whole music video about it (Kanade's song helped ofc)

#6 Kanade loves Ena's art

This may have been due Ena being one of the first people that make art about her music, but Kanade was seriously happy with it and even requested more of it, to finally invite Mizuena to Niigo. Kanade is also an artist (music artist) so her judgment is relevant. She seems to love the way Ena portrays her songs, though we could assume she's happy to see her impact in other people in that way

#7 Mafuyu critizes Ena like there's no tomorrow

Okay I'm kidding she's not that bad but she does point out a flaw almost every time, this can be a result of Ena leaving art class for so long though

#8 Those comments on Niigo's music video

In Insatiable Pale Color some comments are positive about Ena's art, but some others just say the song is what really attracts them and her art is peculiar, which means her art isn't groundshattering, but we knew this already. It can be people being assholes anyway

#9 Futaba loves Ena's art

For the reason I'll say in the next point, Futaba sees Ena's art uniqueness and loves to see it, if she was completely talentless could she really drag attention from an artist as good as Futaba?

#10 Yukihira's comment on Ena6

At the end of Colors of Pure Sense, Yukihira mentions how Ena still lacks skil, but she has a very creative way to portray her art and this is also considered in the college she wants to go to. Talent isn't really about being creative, but an artist being specially creative like Ena has showed to be can be considered as talent

#Shinei can't be trusted idc

While he said she's talentless, he admitted he's worried about Ena suffering in the world of art, so he may be biased (if that's the word for it) into thinking it'll be better if she doesn't take this path because she's bad anyway. Also, as Ena asked, if she was so talentless why encourage her all her childhood? You suddenly noticed she's talentless or you suddenly realized she's gonna suffer too?

I finished reading Mafu1 last night because I am getting back into Project SEKAI and...full-disclosure, I wasn't really that committed to Nightcord's event stories back when I was first into the game-SO I am MAKING UP for that NOW. But anyway just wanted to say that SOMEONE GET THIS GIRL A THERAPIST AND CPS ON HER WAY!!!! BECAUSE MY GOD MAFUMOM SUCKS BALLS AND MAFUYU DOESN'T DESERVE TO FEEL EMPTY FOR ANYTHING!!!! Yes, it did make me cry when Kanade was comforting her in like Episode 7, I believe? So if anything, Nightcord's storyline still makes my eyes water like hell LOL. But my god, I just want to give Mafuyu a 20 minute long hug after this reading this event...especially hearing what happens in Mafu6 !!SLIGHT SPOILERS HERE BTW!!) it's just sad knowing how her character arc progresses and then falls apart again because of that so umm I am prepared for EMOTIONAL DAMAGE!!! Or probably won't be ha...haha...ha... That said, shortly after I started Ena1...two episodes in I already cried, and watching 2 more episodes of Ena1 just now also made me cry because I am high-key a Ena Shinonome kinnie but instead I'm a writer who also struggles with confidence within my own work, much like Ena. Maybe it's worse that I relate to her more than Mafuyu but it's like why do these girls have to go through so much UGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!

i remember dreading this part because (steven voice) *emotional damage*

especially with works you created, it's easy to be overly emotionally and personally invested in it. makes sense, it's something you created, only natural for you to want to own and and be proud of it. but because of this, anything negative aimed at it can be particularly distressing, because it feels like a personal attack on you and your self worth and your skill, and it's common to have an overly defensive reaction to such comments

so it's always important to remember, you are not your works. you created your works, but you can always create something better in the future.

it's kind of similar with programming. when you put up a code review with suggested changes to merge into develop branch and then the senior dev on your team just puts comments everywhere tearing it to shreds

except like the majority of the time they arent actually rude about it or anything, it just can feel like that. but really, the both of you are collaborating on making an improvement to the codebase, and you shouldn't be distressed at all. the code is the code, not you. you improve the code. that's it.

anyway that's easy to say and all but much harder to internalize. but after going through these processes many times, it gets easier.

the other thing to remember is context and expectations. often conflict can arise when there is a dissonance in expectations. e.g. the expectations in an interaction on a code review or a professional art critique is very different from the expectations of a comment on an fanart that someone posts on social media as a means of self-expression in hobby.

i think at least some of this dissonance is happening between papa shinonome and ena. maybe the harshness and bluntness is what he is used to in a professional art environment. but ena is not that. she's aiming for there, that's for sure, but papa shinonome is going a bit too strong too early with that i fear

at the end of insatiable pale colour, her dad compliments the light and dark contrast in her work, and makes a comment about the girl's worries vanishing, implying his understanding of the message that ena was trying to convey. he then follows it up with a rather blunt critique of the colour balance

ena seems to receive this criticism much better than than any of the other previous comments from her dad. she initially responds with a "why that jab!" after her dad walks out, but then actually doesn't disagree with the critique on the colour balance, and goes to fix up the colours a bit more.

it could be that she is a better place mentally, after just having received encouragement and support from her friends in N25. it could also be that she receives the critique a bit better when it is couched after a positive feedback first. (that's actually one of the things they taught us, the art critique sandwich. positive, then negative, then positive. papa shinonome doesn't follow it up with another positive feedback but eh close enough)

i think it's a bit of both.

but i think this demonstrates that papa shinonome's "throw her in the deep end with the harshness of the professional art world to try and protect her from it" isnt the best approach. see, she can improve at art! see, she can receive valid criticism without throwing a tantrum and improve upon it! but she's still young, she's still learning and maturing, so a gentler beginning can be more beneficial for her growth in the long run

walk before run, etc.

unedited 4am rambles

ok so papa shinonome's bright eyed daughter goes up to him and asks him for advice on which fine arts high school to apply to. she looks up to him and wants to do art just like him! and he point blank just shuts her down saying it's not a good idea "you have no talent" 😭😭😭

my man

like, I can kinda understand his thought process, twisted and jaded as it may be. the art world is brutal and competitive and he's probably trying to protect her from that world

but you don't have to be that blunt. he's treating her like he would a fully grown, professional artist who asked for that kind of harsh critique, and not a young child still figuring out what she wants in this world. you could use a bit more tact...

is it that hard to sit her down with a cautionary, "the art world isn't easy, there will be lots of struggles and hardships ahead. there will be thousands of people who are more talented than you, and you will have to work extra hard to keep up with them. are you prepared for that?"

in reality there will be people who will more naturally pick up a skill than others. but that's not even the most important part. if you see someone super skilled and talented it's easy to assume theyre just naturally gifted, but in practice you have to put a ton of practice and effort into getting that good.

maybe not everyone can be like a international top level athlete or musician or composer or writer or whatever. there will always be someone better than you, and there will be heights you will not be able to reach even with infinite practice and effort invested. but even if you are not a natural at something, if you practice it enough, you can get pretty darned good. I think papa shinonome is perhaps a bit too jaded by his own experiences in the art world, and is projecting that onto ena. it's way too early to judge whether you can be pro level or not that early. surely.

you can see papa shinonome's approach when ena considers entering that art contest, too. the contest will attract many pro level submissions, so winning anything is unlikely. but if you're ok with that, feel free to submit something. that's what he told ena.

now for someone like me that might actually be somewhat reassuring. I think I might actually lean too far in the other direction. I tend to be sensitive to rejection or failure, and mentally protect myself by setting my expectations way low. when someone compliments me, I feel vaguely uneasy, and usually try to disagree?? which is kinda crazy when you think about it. just take the compliment (I'm trying to be better about that more recently 😭😭)

for someone like ena, however, that's exactly the opposite kind of support she needs. she needs positive reinforcement and encouragement to build up her confidence. to ena, the preemptive kind of result shielding that papa shinonome does a lot is actively discouraging and harmful.

I actually really like they way they portray akito in this story, and the supportive role he plays. from an outsider looking in, if all you saw was out of context memes or clips, you might think that all ena and akito do is fight and bicker with each other. but actually they do care a lot about each other, even if they are reluctant to be too obvious about it.

sure you have the bossy older sister trying to get her younger brother to get something from the fridge for her, and the younger brother rolling his eyes and refusing. huffy exchanges, not that many interactions, and so on

but when ena is trashing up her room and akito barges in to get her to quiet down, he quickly sets aside the issue of the loudness and instead immediately focuses in on her. he asks her if she's sure if she wants to throw art stuff away, because he knows it's important to her, and is pretty sure she will regret it

akito also has a talk with papa shinonome later on as well about his words to ena, and hits the nail on the head: he should try responding less like an art critic, and more like a father.

and ena does come down later to apologize to akito about lashing out at him

like. not to get too personal I've been witness to a fair share of arguments and fights. if someone apologizes of their own volition without being forced to, that's like. pretty good actually. a lot of the time people are just super stubborn and never back down or admit fault 😭 (maybe my standards are just too low...)

in the last episode. papa shinonome is looking at ena's new artwork, and ends up actually complimenting it. but then critiques the colour choice. given his track record, I'm doubtful he would lie just to make her feel better. he's far too stubborn for that, and I'm also doubtful that akito's words would cause him to change his approach, because that would mean admitting his approach up until now was wrong, and he doesn't seem like the kind of person to admit that to himself so easily. but maybe in his own way, he's trying to be supportive to ena, as emotionally and socially constipated as he is

I think the thought of "wanting to do things for attention" is kind of like "wanting to do work to earn money". if you go into a job interview and say "I would like to do this job because I need money to pay rent and buy food and survive" and not "I am SUPER passionate" etc. then they may give you the side eye. like, it's true to some degree, but somewhat taboo to mention

I agree with Mafuyu that wanting attention for what you do isn't a bad thing. that's from a value judgment perspective. I just think that from a pragmatic, effectiveness perspective, it's less reliable to rely solely on extrinsic motivation because it's so unreliable and spiky; you're vulnerable to the whims of the algorithm tm, it can come and go, and so on and so forth. intrinsic motivation can be far more reliable to help get you through rough patches.

but it's not bad to want more than just intrinsic motivation, humans are social creatures after all, and recognition and attention for what you do is always nice.

I'm glad that ena has a friend group who give her the encouragement and support she needs c: