she’s reserved for you love! 

Seriously. Like... he did so well. And the more I learn about him and EVERYTHING he does, the more respect I have for him. And now I wish we had an Ashton. He’s just awesome.

-snort laughs- Ohhhh the images that are now in my head. Not even sexual. Just those like... cheesy scenarios in movies where the main character’s at a yoga class and the instructor comes up behind her and it helping her stretch, but of course it involves his hands super close to her ass... because that’s how it always happens. <333333

send me “@” + a url and i will have to say 3 nice things about that url!

Oh my god, thank you! I think you're gorgeous!

I do I love reading. Honestly I don’t really have a favorite to be honest. I love all the books I read. I do have some that I will read several times but I can’t really choose.

“Hey... it’s me again. You must be getting annoyed by this, by now. If you were... If you happened to be listening to this. You’re probably not. I mean, I practically know you’re not. If you were, and you were still... well, you know... then I wouldn’t be phoning again. I’ve lost count how many times I’ve done this already, and I don’t think it’s going to be the last time. I thought I was getting better at... dealing with all of this, but every time I seem to have the smallest stumble in my life, you’re the first person I want to talk to. I guess I got too used to that. I started taking it... you for granted. This at least makes me feel a little better, hearing your voice once again. I suppose the good thing with our jobs is that... we never really go away. I mean... physically we do, but it’s like parts of us are frozen in time forever. I still get to see those frozen parts, and hear them, and it’s sort of like listening to your voicemail message thing. Sorry, I’m rambling. I seem to do this every time. But then... it’s not like you ever minded my rambling. Even when we were... first sort of going out, and I couldn’t shut up about how much I loved spending time with you and Aerie, and how great it was to feel like a family... Even when I knew that you didn’t want to talk about it yourself... You still liked it. You liked my silly and poorly articulated trains of thought. I’m sorry, I’m doing it again, I swear I phoned you for a reason, even if I’m struggling to remember. It was something to do with... Oh yeah... I miss you. I really fucking miss you. Every waking hour of every single day, and every restless hour of every single night. All of it is just... it’s not the same anymore. It’s like I’ve had both of my arms ripped off, and now all that remains in their place are phantom limbs. Every single way that I remember interacting with the world has changed completely - I can no longer reach out to it like I could before. It’s just... shit. That doesn’t even begin to cover it, but it’s a solid place to start. All I can think about right now is all the things I wanted to do with you and the kids, and it’s like... all those daydreams became fantasies not possibilities, in a split second. What am I supposed to do now? Without you? There’s Quentin and Aerie, and they’re both still the light of my life, but at the same time... every time I look at them, my first thought is what you’d be thinking if you were looking at them, too. Oh, sweetheart, you’d be so proud of them. And not just in a biased way because they’re all yours, but in the... they’re the most incredible people in the world kind of way. Aerie is the spitting image of you, I swear. To the point where, sometimes, when she says or does something, I can feel myself tearing up, because all it’s making me think about is you, and then I remember that you’re not here and just... did I mention that I really fucking miss you? Because I do. So. Much. They do, too. The kids. I think Aerie sort of knows what’s going on; she definitely been hugging me extra tightly lately - I don’t know if it’s for her benefit or mine, but I think it’s helping both of us try to get through it all. And Q... he keeps asking for his mummy. And I don’t know what to say to him. I don’t know how I could possibly explain everything in terms that he’d understand, without it completely causing his world to collapse in on itself. I just try to hug him extra tightly, too. And so does Aerie. I guess it’s just going to be the Three Amigos from now on. If... if there’s one last vow I can make to you now, it’s this: everything the three of us do now, whatever it may be, we’re doing for you, we’re doing to make you proud, and make your warm and energetic spirit live on for as long as we can manage it. Oh fuck, uh... I’m sorry, sweetheart. I’ve got to go. Real life is catching up with me, so I need to go deal with some stuff. So, I’m just... I’ll end it with the words that I’ll never forget, because of you: you be good. See you tomorrow. I love you.”