I am going to try and to stick to this thirty day journal challenge. Since I am not going to therapy anymore I think this will help. As it is an emotional eating journal challenge.
Q: Who Am I? Who have I been? Who do I want to be?
Let’s break this down, because whoa we are going in deep day one.
Who am I? How should I answer that? Basics: I am essentially a small town person who dreams to see this world.A little deeper : I am 21, I work as an insurance agent, I have blonde hair, I have a life partner, no kids. Deeper still: I am not entirely sure who I am as I used to have really clear dreams and goals in life - along with a plan to get there.
Who have I been? Well, I guess I have been many people in a way. You see, I have always struggled with ‘who I am” and I have come to realize that all humans are ever changing and to think that humans would stay the same over the course of a life time would be well rather strange - way stranger than constant change. Back on course: Well, I have been an out going preteen who didn’t really care about much who was super rebellious, a depressed and agoraphobic teen who had trouble leaving the bedroom at times, much less the house and closed myself off from friends. I have also been a confident adult with a goal in life - shortly followed by what the hell am I even doing and where am I going. I have been a number of things within these things as well - a different human as days went out. To further confuse my identity for myself - I took to online role playing. I was up to four or five different characters with their very own lives at one time and group of friends.
Who do I want to be? Put simply: I want to be a content human - with goals that are not too easy to achieve, but no impossible. I want to have direction - and just enough for to keep my out of harms way, but not so much to where I abandon the whole idea. I want to talk about what I’ve seen in the world, or what I learned. I want to be both mentally and physically healthy. Lastly, I never want to be the same. I want to be constantly growing into a better individual - with my good qualities always following. I want my past to be just that - and my future a blank page waiting for me draw on it. I do not know what I want to be per-say, but content would be just fine.
