I think I am mad. That's the emotion I am trying to identify. Anger. Though my therapist would have said resentment, but I think this what anger feels like. It must be. Because out of all the emotions, anger is the most unfamiliar to me. I was never one to ger angry, I didn't think I was allowed to. Also, I never knew there was something called healthy anger. Anger was always associated with losing your patience, your cool, your temper, yelling, making a scene and whatnot. So it wasn't something I could identify myself with. But these days, all I could feel is anger. Anger at myself mostly, for not being brave enough, for having too much unsolicited and undeserved empathy, for always trying to understand where the other party is coming from instead of holding them accountable.. and now that I identified the emotion, I don't know how to sit with it, I don't know what to do with it, I don't know how to act upon it. Maybe I should ask my therapist, lmao.
