#emberline rambles

it's cherik, politician erik / journalist charles, and charles goes UNDERCOVER on erik's campaign pretending to be a sweet shy virginal omega, which he is not, he is none of those three things, he is in fact a deeply scheming menace running an entire operation on a man who has no idea he's the target

I wanted to write an omega who weaponises every stereotype people project onto him – the wide eyes, the blushing, the whole "overwhelmed little omega" act – purely as a tool to get what he wants, which in this case is access, information, and a career-defining exposé. he's not being seduced. he is the one doing the seducing, on purpose, with a plan, while internally narrating his own performance like a smug little gremlin.

the fun part for me was the gap between what charles is performing and what he's actually thinking – he's constantly telling himself he has everything completely under control while the reader can see exactly how not-true that is. also erik has no idea any of this is happening, which felt important to establish, because watching someone genuinely fall for a con while the audience knows better is just. very fun. for me. to write.

anyway it was meant to be a one shot but will now be 5 chapters. good god i need self control haha

chapter 1 is up now:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/87500836

comments make my whole week btw, I read every single one. also if anyone recognises the destiel fic where there's a country that makes betas wear pointy hats please find me, it's been living in my head for years and I need to know where it came from

One of the reasons I think I default to Charles's POV in Cherik fic is that he's the one I project onto the most.

Not because I think I'm particularly Charles-like in real life (alas, no genius here, or Oxford degrees or telepathy), but because I recognise the way I see his mind working.

I see Charles as an overthinker. He's someone who examines his own reactions while he's having them. He tries to understand everyone else's perspective, sometimes to the point of paralysis. He'll turn an argument over from six different angles, wonder whether he's been unfair, whether they've been unfair, whether he's missed something, whether somebody else is hurting more than he is. He wants to understand before he acts.

Which, unfortunately, is extremely relatable to me.

And, for me at least, a lot of that narrativising impulse comes from anxiety and overthinking. If I can explain something, analyse it, put it into a story, understand everyone's motivations, then perhaps I can make sense of it. To me, Charles often feels similar. He believes that understanding is inherently useful. That if he can only see enough angles, he can solve the problem.

Writing from Charles's POV means I get to luxuriate in all of that. He notices the exact wording of something Erik said three days ago. He wonders why it bothered him. He thinks about how Erik might have meant it. He compares it to something Raven once said. He remembers a lecture. He constructs an entire emotional thesis and somehow still arrives at the wrong conclusion. He can spiral and spiral and I find it fun to write (and maybe cathartic? because I do it too?)

I never have to force Charles to introspect. The problem is usually getting him to stop.

Erik is much harder for me.

Partly because one of Erik's defining traits, to me, is decisiveness. He makes decisions. He commits to them. He acts. Even when he's wrong, he's wrong with conviction. He doesn't sit and weigh every possible interpretation for weeks. He doesn't necessarily need everybody's perspective before deciding what he thinks.

And that's a quality I deeply admire because it isn't one I possess. at all, haha

Erik feels things every bit as intensely as Charles does, but he experiences those feelings much more physically. He builds. He fixes things. He leaves. He fights. He protects people. His emotions often arrive as certainty rather than analysis. If/when I write Erik well, I usually end up deleting explanations. He doesn't need three paragraphs about why Charles smiling at him matters. It matters. Something shifts inside him. Then he asks whether Charles has eaten, or quietly repairs his leg brace, or stands beside him when it counts.

The way I see it, Charles lives in language. Erik lives in action.

I think that's part of why I find them such a satisfying pairing. Charles is always trying to understand - himself, other people, the world, every possible perspective. Erik often understands perfectly well what he feels, but struggles to translate it into words.

That's why I keep ending up in Charles's head. Because I recognise the endless interpretation, the desire to understand everyone, the tendency to turn feelings into narratives.

i’m attempting to work on two WIPs at once, which feels deeply irresponsible but also inevitable 😭

on one hand: A Matter of Public Record - rival lawyers, terrible decisions, professional reputation warfare, and no-strings sex.

on the other: a new Regency AU where Charles is essentially an Olivia Pope-style fixer for the aristocracy, quietly solving scandals for powerful people, and Erik is the long-lost relative who unexpectedly inherits a title and arrives like a thunderstorm to ruin everyone’s carefully managed lives. none of this one is ready to post yet!

and honestly it’s just made me reflect again on how ridiculously adaptable Cherik are as a dynamic.

they work in everything.

there’s something about them that hits every single one of my narrative wants: two people who should fundamentally be opposed, but who understand each other with terrifying clarity anyway. two brilliant, damaged men orbiting the same questions from completely different directions. ideology versus pragmatism. softness versus severity. restraint versus fury. they clash constantly, but the clash itself creates intimacy.

and the thing is, their core dynamic survives almost any setting! because at heart it’s always: “you are the only person who sees me properly, and that is both unbearable and irresistible.”

they’re tragedy-coded in a way i find completely irresistible, but they also keep reaching for tenderness anyway. even when it’s inconvenient. even when it’s humiliating. even when it would genuinely make their lives easier not to care.

and i love how different people latch onto different aspects of them. some people see the ideological conflict first. some people love the intellectual rivalry. some lean into the aching devotion, or the rage, or the gentleness, or the homoerotic chess match of it all. there are so many versions of them that still somehow feel recognisably them.

and it goes beyond the dynamic too - people are often responding to completely different facets of the characters themselves. some people read Charles primarily as profoundly kind: hopeful, empathetic, endlessly reaching towards people. other people are fascinated by the parts of him that are manipulative, controlling, secretive, quietly arrogant, convinced he knows best. some people see Erik as ruthless first - hard-edged, uncompromising, willing to burn the world down if he thinks it deserves it. others see the enormous loyalty in him, the devotion, the grief, the way he loves with his entire chest once someone gets past the armour.

and the wonderful thing is that all of those readings can coexist. they’re flexible enough as characters to hold contradiction without breaking. Charles can be compassionate and controlling. Erik can be terrifying and deeply tender. depending on the setting or the story, different traits move into the foreground, but the emotional truth underneath still feels intact.

chapter 7 of a matter of public record is up, and the answer to "what if the most self-aware man in london had absolutely no self-awareness about one specific thing" is: this chapter, apparently. all thirteen thousand words of it.

this chapter contains: ✨ Charles Xavier telling himself he is fine (he is not fine) ✨ Charles Xavier telling himself he is fine again (still not fine) ✨ Charles Xavier constructing an elaborate internal architecture for why he is fine that would not survive thirty seconds of cross-examination (fine) ✨ a crazy long digression about ABBA which i refuse to apologise for ✨ charles xavier in gold lamé and blue sparkle eyeliner singing the wrong words to mamma mia with complete commitment ✨ Raven, who loves her brother and sees him with horrible clarity and says the truest things in this fic with the least ceremony ✨ charles having extremely strong opinions about people on a reality TV show, delivered with the same precision he brings to skeleton arguments, because of course he does, he is a barrister

also featuring: — the specific loneliness of a Barbican flat that is slightly too quiet and slightly too his — "make sure you know which one of you was doing the dragging" — Super Trouper (we don't talk about super trouper) — ryan from MAFS Australia (prev season - I haven't watched the most recent!) — Charles Xavier, forty-four years old, senior barrister, genuinely believing his own press — a bowl that rocks if you put one olive in it — wabi-sabi (\charles is using it wrong)

this is the longest chapter in the fic and also the one where the least externally happens and the most internally happens, which is very charles of it.

personal note: Raven is one of my favourite supporting characters to write and the restaurant scene in this chapter is one of the things that took me longest to write, so determined was I that it should show the Tragedy of Charles properly.

Chapter 5 of A Matter of Public Record is up. Chappell Roan said "we're knee deep in the passenger seat, and you're eating me out, is it casual now?" and this chapter said HOLD MY DRINK.

A huge thank you to @eriknocherikyes for her incredible beta-ing - I love working with you on this so so much!!

we have now reached, as foretold, ✨ the awards ceremony chapter ✨

features include:

rival barristers briefly united by professional injustice

accidental hand-holding, subsequently not discussed by anyone

sex decisions being made in increasingly public locations

moira mactaggart witnessing far more than she signed up for

public dignity: present, but strained

one hotel room. one forehead kiss.

subtext becoming, somewhat inconveniently, text

several emotional developments that neither of them will be processing correctly

the central question of this fic remains: what if being very clever professionally made you no less of an idiot personally

I was tagged by @caramelc0rgi - I always love an oportunity to ramble and learn more about my mutuals :)

★ Last song: World in Motion by New Order. My bf played it last night while the England v Argentina match was on, and my cat often turns Siri on by touching the homepad on his explorations, so that came blaring out (again - the cat is defo Team Its Coming Home too haha)

★ Currently watching: My Brilliant Friend, rewatching True Blood, House of the Dragon, The Pitt, Welcome to Derry

★ Current Obsession: I'm still mentally stuck in Antarctica, on expeditions with Shackleton and Scott, eating hoosh and pemmican, scared of Leopard Seals

★ Currently reading: The Unicorn Hunters by Katherine Arden - lovely mix of medieval history and fantasy/fae! Back on my K J Charles re-reads after talking about them with @eriknocherikyes too!

★ Currently working on: 3 Cherik WIPs! A Modern AU Lawyers one (A Matter of Public Record) a random little omegaverse experiment (Just the Tip(-Off)) and an as yet unnamed/unposted Regency fic with Charles as a kind of Olivia Pope from Scandal hahaha.

★ Last google search: Whether Heathrow Airport lets you take more than 100mls through security these days (it does!!)