(Prompted by your post about leaving for work.) Do you enjoy your work as a physician? I've been a nurse for 10 years but am desperately trying to change careers to something outside of healthcare. (Oh, how I'd love to have one of those jobs people were able to do from home on their couch in PJs during Covid. I think they just read spreadsheets all day or something.) I'm burned out. I'm exhausted. I'm tired of taking care of other people. But it makes me feel inferior to my healthcare colleagues because they're ~passionate~ about ~caring for people~ and I don't hold that same passion 😅
First I’ll say that even the people that love their jobs have bad days and doubts. That’s life. But this is a tough question.
Do I enjoy my work as a physician? Yes, mostly. I love emergency medicine and working in an ED. I am absolutely passionate about being able to help people during some of the worst moments of their lives. I’m proud of how hard I’ve worked to be where I am in my career. I love my unit and my hospital and my team. I’m phenomenal at my job and I couldn’t picture myself doing anything else. However, COVID completely changed my life. Something that I loved became something I hated. Things have definitely gotten better the more time passes but the pandemic gifted me with moderate PTSD and it can flare depending on various factors, which can make working in a hospital nearly unbearable sometimes. I think the great part of emergency medicine is that when things need to happen, you just do it. Anxiety and flashbacks and pain go out the window when you’re helping someone else. But sometimes after a code or after hours in the trauma bay, when everything is stable again, the situation hits me and it can be very triggering. I understand this isn’t everyone’s experience but for those of us who worked in healthcare during COVID, we are forever changed.
So yes, I’m also burned out and forever exhausted. And I know so many of my friends in healthcare feel the exact same way. I was supposed to be on a bit of a sabbatical then October 7th happened and now I’m back in the hospital for 24 hours/wk. But I am passionate about what I do even though it’s different now. I’m so passionate about what I do that my favorite part of my week is the remaining 20+ hours where I get to teach emergency medicine to students/soldiers that haven’t been disillusioned by a pandemic and the overall state of healthcare.
Please know that so many in the healthcare field are burned out and exhausted like us. It seems to be the norm. But it sounds like your malaise may be more than that, and that’s okay! I’m proud of you for recognizing that nursing may not be a great fit and I hope you find something that more aligns with what you’re looking for and ideally makes you happy. I know “starting over” can be tough so it might be advantageous to look into more clerical nursing jobs - case management, insurance review (in the US), recruiter. The change of pace/scenery might spark the passion that initially got you into nursing (it can be difficult to think clearly when you’re knee deep in the problem) or it might show that you need a complete change and I have faith that you’ll find it. All the love and best of luck! 🫶🏼
