Hi! If you would like to share, I would love to hear your journey of becoming a doctor. I'm currently trying to get into studying medicine, and a few days ago I received the results of the psychometric test (my second time) and my grade isn't high enough (by just a few points!), which means I can't try to get into university again until next academic year (and even if my grade in the psychometric is good it's not guaranteed I will get in). I'm thinking about maybe trying for Italy this year, but it will be pretty last minute, and I might just burn a lot of effort for nothing. It's already 2 years since I finished the army and I feel the clock is ticking. I feel like this year was completely wasted. Besides studying for psychometric I was pretty much depressed and doing nothing with my life, and even at studying I wasn't doing my best. I hear how you say things will get better, but I feel completely hopeless. I can't see the light in the end of the tunnel. I just feel like life is a constant battle.
There’s a lot to unpack here. First, I’m sorry you’re going through this. It’s a horrible feeling and I wish I could make it go away for you because I have been there and I know so many others have too. Life is hard and sometimes it sucks. Sometimes it feels like it always sucks and always will. But I promise you it doesn’t! Or it doesn’t have to.
So growing up I actually wanted to be a dancer and when my parents told an eight year old me that wasn’t a viable career, I pivoted and decided that being a doctor was a decent second option because that was also something I was pretty passionate about. I’m a stubborn bitch so once I decided that’s what I wanted to do, that’s what I did. I was a Biology major in undergrad and did a typical four year degree in a little over two years. I graduated high school a year early so I actually went right from high school into university, then I did my 2+ years in the army, then I went to med school. I decided to go back to the US for med school for very stupid reasons and even though I got into great schools and ended up attending a great school, I was absolutely miserable in med school. I had no friends. It was a terrible time in my life. But!!! It did motivate me to study hard so I could do well and get the hell out of there. Not having friends means I had no social life so I just spent every waking moment being the best damn med student I could be. But yeah I was incredibly depressed and feeling very aimless because even though I was doing well, I was defeated. I kind of realized that I had rushed so many parts of my life and everyone said I was successful but I didn’t feel that way. I actually felt very empty. Success is relative. So just because someone is checking all of life’s boxes doesn’t mean they’re actually doing well. I was a whole ass doctor right before my 30th birthday and I was still miserable. Getting the things you always thought you wanted and things that the world tells you you should want doesn’t mean that life is suddenly perfect. Because bottom line, there is no timeline in life. There are no rules. This has been my journey but it’s not everyone’s journey. It’s clearly not your journey and that’s okay! That just means the universe has other plans for you - don’t be afraid of it! It’s so exciting to see what your future holds! Keep doing your best and things will figure themselves out. There are also so many things you can do in the medical field that isn’t being a doctor (many which are far more rewarding) - maybe the world is trying to show you a different path. But at the end of the day you want to be a doctor, you will find a way to be a doctor. Your age doesn’t matter. I’m in my thirties and I’m about to be a first time mom IYH, meanwhile my best friend is the same age and has 4 kids, the oldest of which is 9! She didn’t have kids early and I’m not having kids late. We’re all doing things when we’re meant to. I promise you that you are blessed even if it doesn’t feel that way! You are surrounded by good things that will lead you to the things you want and deserve, you just need to be patient. Hashem has a plan! You are not in charge here! Trust the process!
And I know that if I was in your shoes I wouldn’t want to hear any of this and I would want concrete answers but as someone who somehow survived it all, I promise you that you just need to keep working hard and remain open to whatever the world has planned for you. Good things are coming! Maybe those good things just aren’t the good things you’ve been waiting for. Or maybe they are and you just need to hold on a little while longer. Let life happen and take care of yourself. You deserve happiness and I hope it finds you soon 💛
