#elixirscinemaex

Bucky's lips twitched into a slow and sleepy smile before he even opened his eyes. He hummed quietly, shifting under the blankets. His voice was still raspy from a full night’s sleep.

“S’too early early for this kinda sweetness. What’s going on with you, doll?”

You chuckled softly, running your nose along the slope of his neck until you hit his jaw, leaving a soft kiss every couple of millimeters. You whispered in his ear.

“It’s never too early to remind you that you’re the most handsome man I know.”

He finally cracked open one eye, his smile turning into a lazy smirk.

“Flattery this early? You can’t even function before 8am. What are you up to?”

He narrowed his eyes at your grin, watching as you propped yourself up on an elbow and rested your chin on his shoulder.

“What if I just wanted to wake up my favorite guy with kisses on his birthday? Is that too much too ask?”

Bucky turned his face into his pillow, trying to hide his face under his arm.

“You remembered.”

He could feel pressure on his shoulder as you attempted to get him to turn back to you, so you could see his face.

“Of course I remembered. And I know birthdays aren’t really your thing, but… I just want today to be good for you.”

Gingerly, he peeked at you from under his arm. His expression softened as he caught sight of your shining eyes. Birthdays were something that he had lost to time. Buried under the weight of wars, mind control and chemically induced sleep. The more recent ones had been spent alone, years of surviving rather than living.

Now there was you. Curling into his side like he was something worth waking up to. Pressing kisses to his body like it was something to be worshipped. And for the first time… in a really long time… he didn’t feel like this day was a curse. Bucky rolled over pulling you into his arms, burying his face into your hair.

“You being here is already making it a good day. Stay here a little longer?”

“Of course, baby. But… only if you let me give you your gift later.”

He loved the way you absentmindedly traced shapes on his bare chest as you spoke. He couldn’t see your face, but he could hear the smile in your voice. You always made him laugh. The action somehow seemed involuntary. It burst from his lips when he was least expecting it. It was only a soft release of pleasure, against your hair and he squeezed you just a little tighter.

“You’re kinda stubborn, have I ever told you that?”

The way you teased him always brought a smile to his lips and it was always followed up by a gentle confirmation of your affection. You pressed another kiss to his collarbone before laying a cheek against his chest and sighing happily.

“You love me for it.”

“I have loved you from the moment I laid my eyes on you.”

And yeah. He really, really did.

The two of you spent the day in his apartment. Quiet. Comfortable. Happy. No surprises. No crowds. It was just how Bucky liked it. The day started out slow with morning coffee. Followed by a walk with Alpine, who suddenly decided that she wanted to spend the whole time curled around Bucky’s neck.

You make his favorite meal for lunch. He tried to help. He wanted to, but you insisted that he shouldn’t lift a finger today. That today, you would take care of him. You took care of him everyday. That’s what he wanted to tell you. But you seemed so insistent that he let you have your way. Anything to keep that smile on your face. It didn’t stop him from hovering in the kitchen, watching the way your hips swished from side to side as you danced, moving to the music playing softly in the background.

The simplicity. The domesticity. This… this is what he wanted. You were what he wanted.

The day passed in a haze of comforting and warm touches. Simple moments of affection. Loving words of affirmation. Until you brought up your gift.

The evening was coming to an end, it was almost time for bed. The two of you were curled up on the couch under a blanket. He loved having you wrapped in his arms. He didn’t want to let go, but you insisted. Wiggling until he loosened his grip. You reached under the couch and pulled out a small box. Your hiding places made him laugh. He had no idea when you had hidden it there and he was in awe of your skills.

“You already gave me a good day, doll. That’s more than enough.”

He accepted the box as you nudged it into his hands, then pressed a kiss to your temple.

“I know. But I still got you something.”

He knew better to argue when you had that glint in your eye. Not when he knew how much you cared. How much love you put into the gift… into everything you did for him. Even if he didn’t think he deserved it. Slowly, he peeled back the wrapping paper, watching your every reaction. He was certain that you were more excited than he was.

Bucky lifted the lid, his expression shifting as he took in the contents:

A custom-made dog tag— he had once told you that he had lost his and he wondered if he still had them, he would have had something of his past to hold on to.

A tiny compass— you pointed at it and said “because no matter what, you can always find your way home now.”

A key— “that’s for my place, so you can let yourself in at any time.” Bucky’s eyes had practically fallen out of their sockets. Immediately he clipped it onto his keychain. 

A wooden carving of a wolf which had been painted white— “Sorry, I’m not very good at that.”

An old, slightly worn photograph of him from the 40s— one where he was smiling, young and carefree, before the world had taken so much from him.

His fingers hovered over the items, reverent and overwhelmed. Suddenly he noticed an envelope at the bottom of the box.

It was old— worn with time, the edges slightly yellowed. He took out the smaller items and trinkets and placed them carefully on the coffee table. He looked down at the envelope, eyes going wide.

His name was scrawled across the front in Steve’s characteristic cursive handwriting.

Bucky’s hands shook as he picked it up, his heart thudding against his ribs. He glanced up at you, searching.

“What—?”

“Open it.”

Bucky’s fingers skated over the writing before he turned the envelope over, staring at it like it might disappear… or just crumble under his touch. His thumb brushed over the seal before finally… carefully… he opened it.

His eyes moved over the words, slow at first, then desperate, drinking in every single letter.

Buck, If you’re reading this, then it worked. I don’t know where you are when you find this, but I know one thing— you made it. You’re still here. And I am so proud of you. I always knew you were a good man, Buck. No matter what happened, no matter what they made you do, that never changed. I’m sorry I’m not there to tell you that myself, to stand beside you like I should have. I regret that more than you know. I hear you’re running for Congress. Now I wish I could be there to see that. To see you making a difference. I’d have been your loudest supporter. You know that, right? You would’ve hated all the campaign posters with your face on them, but I’d have saved one just to annoy you. And… I hear you have someone now— someone who loves you the way you deserve to be loved. I’m glad, Buck. You deserve happiness. You deserve someone who sees the best in you, even when you don’t. I’ve worried about you being alone, but I realize I don’t have to anymore. Makes things a little easier, knowing that I left. But I’m with you, always. You never have to doubt that. And if you ever forget, just read this again. Happy birthday, pal. Steve

Bucky’s grip on the paper trembled so hard that he feared that it might tear. His breath came out sharp and uneven. His chest rose and fell as the emotions hit him all at once. Steve’s words, his best friend’s voice reached across time and wrapped around his heart. Squeezing so tight it fucking hurt.

He shut his eyes. He swallowed back the lump in his throat. But it was no use. A broken sound slipped past his lips. But you were there. Your arms wrapped around him, pulling him close as he finally let go of all the things he had been holding inside for so long. His shoulders shook with the weight of everything; the grief, the love, the years that had separated them, the trauma he had suffered. It all came crashing down at once. The dam he had built had been taken apart within moments, with a simple sheet of paper and a few strokes of a pen.

He clutched the letter like it was a lifeline. Like it was a piece of Steve himself. You held him through it. You ran your fingers through his hair, whispering how much you loved him, how he wasn’t alone. 

When the tears finally slowed, Bucky pressed his forehead against yours. His hand cradled your face, fingers caressing your jaw. His voice was hoarse. Thick with emotion. But the word that came out wasn’t what you expected.

“How?”

You shrugged. Like what you had done was the simplest thing in the world. Like the effort you had gone through was an everyday occurrence. Not a miracle you had pulled off.

“I wrote to Steve.” 

“You wrote to Steve?”

He watched as your expression became a little sheepish.

“I had some help… from someone with magic.”

Bucky frowned. He didn’t want you putting yourself in danger because of him. But you continued with your explanation.

“I sent him a message, telling him about you. About us. About everything.”

Bucky swallowed hard, unable to speak. He let you finish, whispering 

“He wrote back. And he left it somewhere safe for me to find now.”

Bucky thought he knew you. He thought he had wrapped his head around how you thought. The things you would do for him. The care you showed him. But this, this was something else. There were no words that could truly express his gratitude.

“Thank you. For this. For everything.”

You only smiled and brushed a tear from his cheek and pointed back at the box in his lap.

“There’s another one in there.”

Bucky looked down at the box, noticing another envelope. One much whiter and crisper than the one in his hand. He immediately recognized Sam’s chicken scratch writing. He tore it open, knowing that he didn’t need to use as much tenderness with the newly sealed stationary.

Yo, Tin Man, Before you get all emotional, let’s just get this out of the way— yes, I remembered your birthday. And no, I did not get you a gift. Because I know for a fact that you’ll just grumble about it and act like you don’t care. (Don’t even try to deny it.) But I will say this— Happy Birthday, man! So, I know you’re not big on birthdays. Hell, you’ve skipped more than most people have lived through. But that doesn’t mean they don’t matter. It doesn’t mean you don’t matter. You’re still here, Barnes. After everything, after all the shit life has thrown at you, you’re still standing. And that? That’s worth celebrating. I also know about the other letter you got. Yeah, that letter. Don’t look so shocked—your girl told me what she did. And man… you are so damn lucky to have someone like her. Someone who loves you enough to move mountains (or, in this case, mess with the time-space continuum) just to remind you that you’re not alone. So anytime you get lost in that giant head of yours, know you’ve got people in your corner. Steve, me, and especially her. You might be a pain in the ass, but you’re also one of the best people I know. And if I have to be the one to keep reminding you of that, well… guess you’re stuck with me. Take the day. Enjoy it. Maybe even smile a little. Happy birthday, Buck. Sam P.S. If you haven’t hugged her yet, do it. Right now. I’ll know if you didn’t.

Bucky felt a small laugh escape his lips disguised as a breath. The sound was still shaky but lighter than before. His fingers stayed curled around the two letters, not quite wanting to let go. His chest ached. But the pain was something new. It ran deeper than anything else he had ever felt before. He’d felt it for a while now. Every time he looked at you.

He did that now. A quiet patience shone in your eyes as you waited for him. Waited for him to come back to you. He always would.

For a long moment, he didn’t say anything. He couldn’t. He just looked at you. Then, his voice came, quiet but certain.

“You did this for me.”

You nodded, your fingers brushing lightly over his arm.

“Of course I did.”

He exhaled another small laugh and shook his head.

“You really are somethin’ else, doll.”

“Is that a good thing?”

You tilted your head to the side, a flicker of uncertainty that he knew he should squash immediately. He huffed, setting the letters down carefully beside him before tugging you into his arms. His embrace was solid, grounding. He needed to feel you, to remind himself of what was real.

“It’s the best thing.”

He loved when you melted against him. He let the steady sound of your heart and breath soothe him. Neither of you spoke for a while. Both of you wrapped up in the warmth and quiet understanding. But eventually, you tilted your head to look up at him.

“You okay?”

Bucky searched your face for a moment before nodding. He didn’t say how he felt, didn’t try to put it into words. He knew he didn’t have to. You always understood. You pressed a soft kiss to his shoulder, just like you had that morning.

“Come on, birthday boy. Let’s go to bed.”

Bucky’s lips twitched. His hold on you tightened slightly before he finally let you go. Letting you lead him to bed. As he curled up beside you, your body pressed against his, he let his eyes drift closed. His heart was a lot fuller and his soul a little lighter. He felt safe.

And for the first time in a long time, Bucky Barnes fell asleep knowing he wasn’t alone.