#elidexlorcan

When Rowan managed to climb the last flight of stairs without staggering or closing both eyes, he breathed a sigh of relief leaning against the wall.

As he moved one step forward, always looking for support in everything in his path, he thought about when he would get into his home and take off these stupid loafers and when he would take off his pants, so tight that his thighs hurt.

He was not used to getting dressed up and the suit he was wearing was years old. Normally, after one of these evenings, he would get in the shower and Aelin would listen to him complain sitting on the toilet, probably with a glass of wine to go with it, but tonight Rowan would go straight to bed. And he would sink into those blankets that scented Aelin and loved so much.

So soft.

He was so tired that he didn't realize he had arrived at the door of his apartment. He slipped the keys into the patch and took a turn before he pushed forward and found the door locked. He wrinkled his eyebrows, his eyes struggling to stay open, and put the key back in, turning it again. The door opened, but the man's fireman instinct had already kicked in. He stood at attention, praying to every god in existence that his wife was safe and sound, and that the double fire was just a precaution.

Much more awake than a few seconds earlier, he took a deep breath and slipped into the apartment. All the lights were on and the table was still set from the dinner Aelin and Elide had shared.

The house, however, was too quiet.

Leaving the keys on the entrance cabinet and taking off his bulky jacket with a quick movement, he entered the living room. There was no one there, but the cartoon stopped at one hour and twenty minutes was a sign that they were still in the house.

Then how come he didn't hear them talking?

"Aelin?"

He tried to call out loud, receiving no answer. "Elide?

He moved into the hallway, going straight to their bedroom. It was all too strange and too tidy for nothing to have happened. He was used to the chaos that was Aelin, but leaving everything on in the house just to go out for some air was not in the style of the two girls.

Before he could reach the room he heard a sob coming from the bathroom. He stopped suddenly, knocking slowly on the door, "Aelin? Are you in there?"

Another sob. Rowan's heart tightened in his chest.

He ran his hand through his hair, "Ace, what happened? Are you okay?" he asked trying to understand if she was hurt or shaken by anything else. He looked around, looking for signs of Elide. Where on earth was the black-haired girl?

He tried to open the door, finding it unlocked.

He prepared himself for everything, ready to go into action in case she had fallen and hit her head somewhere, but what appeared before him was not an injured Aelin. Or a distraught Aelin.

It wasn't Aelin either.

Elide, sitting on the mat on the floor, was resting her back against the extravagant tub that Aelin had chosen when they moved in. The tiny body, which seemed even smaller at the time, was repeatedly shaken by loud sobs. She looked up at Rowan when he entered the bathroom and her face contorted before she burst into even more desperate crying and covered her face with both hands.

Rowan blinked a couple of times, shocked to see her friend in such conditions.

"Ellie, what...?" he recovered when Elide's black eyes met his green eyes.

He knelt down next to her, placing his hand on her shoulder, but she sobbed louder, so he dropped his hand and came a little closer, being careful not to touch her. He could not understand what might have caused such a reaction in the girl.

After all, he was used to these situations. Being a firefighter, people who could not speak because of the shock were his daily bread, but there was nothing to suggest why Elide was in such a condition.

Gathering his last strength he was able to ask her, "What happened? Why are you crying?"

Elide looked at him in sorrow and in an instant, all the worst situations Rowan could think of poured over him. Opening his eyes wide and in a harder tone than he had to, he leaned forward on the tiny figure, "Elide, where is Aelin?

Something in the man's voice must have surprised Elide, because she too opened her eyes wide and put her hands forward and said, "Oh God Rowan no, Aelin is fine. She went to call Lorcan."

Rowan released a breath that he didn't know he was holding, closing his eyes, but he made a confused expression immediately afterwards, still not understanding why Elide was on the floor of his bathroom crying after past one o'clock in the morning. He sat down more comfortably, placing an elbow on the edge of the bathtub and resting his head on his hand. "Do you want to talk about it?"

She, taking an example from her friend, turned towards him and put her head on the bathtub, grimacing. At least she had stopped crying and was breathing normally.

Only then did Rowan notice something at the girl's feet.

He bent his head to the side trying to figure out what that little pink and oblong object was and when Elide noticed Rowan's look she cursed under her breath, trying to grab the thing before the man could realize what it was.

Looking up at Rowan's face, Elide realized that all her attempts had been in vain. Rowan's eyes shone and his mouth was slightly open. Well, at least he wasn't yelling at her about how inconsiderate it was to have a child at this age.

He looked her in the eye and a choked laugh got out of control, "I can' t believe it."

Elide tightened her lips in a thin line before whispering, "Believe it."

"Is it Lorcan's?"

Elide made a shocked face, before hitting him as hard as she could on the shoulder. Rowan chuckled completely unfazed.

"Yes, idiot, it's Lorcan's," she replied, lowering the volume of her voice when she said the name of her fiancé.

Rowan smiled uncertainly, "I guess a 'congratulations' is in order."

Elide looked him straight in the eye and her eyes were filled with tears again. Rowan wrinkled his forehead, taking her hand and holding it gently, "What is it?" he asked her calmly. Now that he knew what this was all about, he could have tried to calm her down.

The girl closed her eyes and sighed, running her hand over her face, "I don't even know." And then she giggled, "Can I already start blaming the hormones or is it too soon?"

"I think you can do whatever you want," he told her with a lopsided smile. He looked at her more carefully, imagining her with a big belly. Imagining how his best friend would react when he found out. He imagined Lorcan with a baby in his arms, a mini version of the man he had become. And then he imagined a little girl with such black, straight hair and the eyes of her mother. They would make a wonderful family.

After a few more moments of silence, Elide spoke. "I am afraid."

Rowan settled better on the floor, clutching his legs to his chest with his arms. "You know, I really think that every person in your situation would be afraid." he sighed, "Hell, I would be terrified. Even just the idea of having to push something out of my body like that. Nah ha." he ended it all shivering.

Elide looked at him very badly, her eyes wide open and her mouth slightly open. "Are you an idiot?" she asked him in a shrill voice, "How can you even think of saying something like that at this moment?

Rowan shrugged and kept looking forward. Elide shook her head puffing, "I'm not afraid of childbirth - or rather, I'm fucking afraid of childbirth, but that's not my biggest concern right now."

Her friend gave her a questioning look, urging her to speak with a nudge on her arm.

She looked down, embarrassed by what she was supposed to say. "It's just a stupid thing."

"If it was really stupid, I wouldn't have found you on the floor of my apartment in the middle of the night in the middle of a hysterical attack," Ellie gave him another little push. She looked up at one of her oldest friends. Rowan smiled at her again.

He had been with her every horrible moment of her life. He had helped her when the rest of the world seemed to have forgotten about her. She could trust him. But she also trusted Aelin blindly, and yet she could not tell her what had shaken her so much.

They remained silent a little longer and then Rowan settled better on the carpet, so that he was completely lying on the floor and only his head was resting on her thigh. "Is this about Lorcan?"

Elide stilled. Obviously Rowan would have understood. He always understood. "No."

"All right."

He remained silent for a few moments, letting her decide whether to tell the truth or not. When after a minute she didn't say anything, Rowan said, "Do you want me to tell you how my terrible evening went while we wait for the others?" the girl grunted, "I don't think so, your evenings are so boring and full of gruff old men." Rowan laughed, making her leg shake.

He was about to answer her in  tone when they heard the front door slam against the wall and Lorcan call her name out loud. Rowan stood up slowly and Elide saw him smile when they heard Aelin's voice warning her boyfriend that she had left her in the bathroom.

Rowan was just in time to stand up and Elide took the pregnancy test and slipped it into her pocket, that the terrified figure of Lorcan appeared in the bathroom door.

Without even aknowledging Rowan, Lorcan threw himself on his knees in front of her, taking her hands in his. Eyes full of fear running fast over her body. When he saw that she was not physically hurt he visibly relaxed and then suddenly she found herself in Lorcan's strong arms and the cry that she had managed to stop came back to the surface like a wave after a dam collapsed.

Lorcan sat down on the ground, taking Rowan's place and carrying Elide on his legs, holding her tight while she cried. Her body was shaken by so many sobbing that Lorcan's heart tightened in his chest and the worry that had faded as he saw her almost relaxed beside Rowan had returned, stronger than before. Aelin had not wanted to specify what had happened and when she rushed into the club so alarmed and alone he immediately thought the worst, cursing himself for not bringing his phone to work that night. She explained to him that Elide was not well and that she was so upset that she could not get her off the bathroom floor.

Now, with Rowan giving him an almost amused smile as he closed the bathroom door, he could not understand what could have triggered that reaction in his fiancée.

"Elide." he whispered in her ear. Whatever she heard in his tone only made her state worse. Her hand squeezed around his arm and he could feel how much emotion there really was in that gesture. "I'm here, I'm not leaving". Elide pushed herself further against his chest, sobbing, "I'm not leaving," he repeated in a lower voice, stroking her hair and leaving a kiss on her forehead.

The bathroom door opened, and Aelin's blonde hair appeared shortly afterwards. Unlike Rowan, Aelin looked just as worried and held a glass of water in her hand. She entered the large bathroom, placed it on the edge of the sink, then turned to him, "You can stay here as long as you like, Rowan and I are going to bed, but if you need anything, come and call me".

Lorcan nodded, whispering a weak thank you and trembling when a hiccup sob than the others shook Elide's body. Aelin made a sad grimace, going out of the bathroom and leaving them privacy.

They remained on the floor, close to each other, hoping that whatever was shocking the girl so much would soon be over.

After a few minutes Lorcan decided to speak again, "Baby, what happened?"

Elide had stopped crying, but she was still breathing rather irregularly. She pulled herself away from Lorcan slightly and wiped her face with the sleeve of her shirt. She hadn't looked at his face yet and it was driving the man crazy.

"Has something happened to Manon?" he asked her worried, thinking only now that the problem might not be about her. Elide shook her head closing her eyes and taking a deep breath she leaned back against him, carrying her arm around his neck.

"El you are making me really worried, please talk to me." his voice broke at the end of the sentence. Elide took another trembling breath and then croaked something incomprehensible. Lorcan shook his head slightly, "I don't understand, love."

"Before I tell you this, you must promise me that you will stay." She whispered in a loud enough tone so that he could hear her. Lorcan frowned. Elide finally detached herself from him, positioning herself in the middle of his legs and squeezing her knees to his chest. She was looking at him with red eyes and swollen with tears. "You must promise me."

Lorcan was so confused. He could not understand what could make Elide ask him to do such a thing. He didn't think she had cheated on him, Elide would never have done him such a wrong, and even if she had, he would have forgiven her. Maybe not right away, but he would come back to her every time. She knew it, he had shown her so many times.

"I don't understand..." he shook his head, trying to take her hand, but Elide turned towards the door, pulling back. The motion was like a stab wound to the chest for him. He retracted his hand and it was the hardest thing he had ever done in his entire life.

"Promise me."

"El I promise I will stay, whatever is going on, but please, please tell me what you need." he said to her in a desperate tone. She did not answer immediately and Lorcan began to feel his patience slipping from his hands. " Elide-"

"I'm pregnant."

The world stopped.

"What?"

"I am pregnant."

They had already had this conversation, almost six years before, when both were still too young. Elide had gone to Lorcan's house with the test, torn between emotion and despair. She was only eighteen years old at the time, Lorcan twenty-one.

The discussion had gone down more rather quickly. Lorcan did not want children at that time and Elide was willing to keep them, stop studying and raise their child, resuming their studies after the child had turned two years of age. That day they had shouted at each other without restraint, not caring how much the words said would hurt the other. There were no winners or losers, however. The discussion had ended in desperate tears and a break-up that both had thought final. They had not spoken for two weeks and neither of them had told their friends what the reason for the break-up was. To this day, none of their group knew why. When after three long weeks Lorcan showed up at her house, crying and asking for forgiveness, she told him that it had been a false alarm, that there had never been a baby and that the problem would never be raised again. Lorcan had had the courage to thank the gods for this and Elide had seen red. After that day they did not see each other for two whole months. Those long weeks without him had been heartbreaking. Friends said that Lorcan looked like a ghost, that he wasn't as grumpy as before, but rather he didn't seem to feel emotions anymore. Not that Elide was any better off. Her friends had tried to help her, to introduce her to other people in the vain intent to get her over her relationship with Lorcan, but nothing and no one was having the same effect on her that she had even just looking in the boy's direction. No one touch made her stomach twist like when Lorcan was touching her. No kiss made her fly as high as he did.

After all that time, she still couldn't get over it, to forget the emotions that only he could make her feel. That night she got dressed so quickly that she almost killed herself a dozen times and when she opened the door with the intention of running to his apartment, Lorcan was in front of her crying. Once more.

They had spoken again, this time in much calmer tones and after a long reflection and a few dates to start off on the right foot, they were back together, without ever leaving each other again.

This, until now.

"Please say something," muttered Elide.

Lorcan was staring at her with an indecipherable expression on his face. He had not spoken a word since Elide had released the bomb and now the air was so thick that she could have cut it with a knife. He lowered his head, running his hands over his face. Elide felt her eyes fill with tears again. She forced herself to swallow the knot that had formed in her throat.

No, she said to herself. She would not cry again. She would have faced it differently from the first time. She would have done it as an adult.

"I know that-" she stopped, taking a deep breath, "I know that the first time that... when we thought I got pregnant, it didn't go well and you didn't want kids six years ago, but-" she couldn't form a sentence that made sense. Lorcan still hadn't looked up at her.

"I am not alone in this. I didn't get pregnant by myself. I'm not in the financial condition to raise a child alone, so if you don't want to have this baby with me, I'll understand, but the blame-" uttering those words was like getting punched in the gut. There was no blame, this baby, no matter how small it was, was a miracle for Elide. "the fault is not only mine. There are two of us in this situation. Whatever you decide to do - cancel the marriage, leave me, go to another country - you will have to help me maintain the child." she concluded by getting on her knees.

Lorcan remained motionless for a while longer, and then a sob broke that glass barrier that had been created around him. He looked up and when Elide noticed the bright smile on his lips she almost fainted with relief. He had probably not heard a word she had just said to him, because his next words were, "I'm going to be a daddy". Elide nodded vehemently, her lower lip beginning to tremble. "We are going to have a little girl," he whispered.

Elide choked with laughter, shaking her head, "We still don't know if it's a boy or a girl. "

"How many weeks?" asked Lorcan as tears ran down his cheeks. He brought a hand to his mouth, murmuring a soft daddy. Her heart exploded in Elide's chest, "Eight weeks."

Lorcan burst into tears as he laughed and threw himself at her, taking her in his arms and standing up, spinning her around in the air as much as the bathroom space allowed him.

"We are going to have a baby!" he cried excitedly in tears.

Elide nodded, laughing as she held herself close to his shoulders.

When they stopped, Elide slipped over his body, and once at the height of his face, she placed her hands on his face, looking straight into his eyes, which now shone with emotion, "We are going to be parents.

The clash of shields against weapons. The whine of steel on steel. The groaning of bows as nocked arrows were pulled taut and then the slick hiss as they were released. It was the music to the fatal dance he performed, his power glutting itself on the death surrounding him. 

The god residing in him feasted on the lives Lorcan took so casually, the black storm swirling from his hands lashing out as he doled out merciful deaths. 

The heavy sun burned into his back as his hatchet sung its deadly song, the black blood of his demon enemies splattering against his face. 

Later, he would feel the ache in his bones and the agony would weigh heavily over him until he succumbed to the oblivion of slumber, but for now, like a good soldier, he would push it down as he continued to slaughter and slay demons left from right. 

Even his dark lord feared the demons, they were not of his otherworldly plane, nothing Hellas himself had seen. Keep away, Death hissed. Keep away from them, boy. Lorcan felt the god rejoice when every practiced swing of his steel struck true and down went another foe. 

Soon, too soon and yet too slowly, night fell and Lorcan stumbled into his tent, falling to his bed roll before he could find the strength left in him to change, his leathers covered in gore. He managed to shed his jacket, torn and sliced from the sweeps he hadn’t managed to dodge. 

His skin was sticky with sweat and the reeking black blood of the enemy. Lorcan knew it would bother him later when it cooled and was like a mask over his body. There was a scuffling outside his tent, his weapons being taken away to be cleaned and sharpened. 

Lorcan knew he should have stopped the acolyte to take off his blades, but the death settling heavy over the camp had the beast inside him drunk and sluggish as it glutted itself on the ends of lives. 

Lorcan struggled to lift himself, the full force of his magic re-charging dragging him down, back to earth. His eyes rolled back into his head and he was pulled into a dark subconscious. 

He thought he would be wading through a murky blackness, but no. He was in the body of a raven, his wings beating against the cool mountain air. He looked down and realized that he soared above Perranth, the field beneath them ravaged and burning. He saw the glint of metal and his power drank in the annihilation. 

Castle Perranth loomed above and he didn’t hesitate to fly towards the tower that Elide had been held in. The stone building was crumbling and felt hollow. He doubted that she would still be there, but he hadn’t sensed her death and he would know, would feel it if Elide had died during the years they had been apart. 

The bars were still bolted over the window that he aimed towards, his talons striking the iron. There was a woman curled in the corner of the room, chains dragging across the floor to bolt her to the wall. 

Her body was so thin that he could see every knock of her spine through the tattered dress she wore. Bruises marked her paper-white skin, so purple against her flesh. There was blood on the floor by her head, pooling around her. He croaked and watched, the remaining shreds of his tattered heart ripping apart when she strained upwards and turned to face him. 

It was Elide.

This, this wasn’t supposed to happen. She was days away from death, at most, and from the way she trembled it had been too long since she last ate. 

All he could do was let a tendril of his magic seep from him and snake across the dirty floor to her. Lorcan watched, powerless, her eyes flutter shut just as that dark smoke touched her outstretched palm. 

As soon as Elide shut her eyes completely, Lorcan was ripped away from the scene and roughly awoken in his tent, breathing hard as he shot up. Elide was alive, but just barely and she needed someone to get to her, before it was too late. 

Lorcan blindly reached for the jug of water resting on the little table in the tent, drinking deeply until the tumbler was empty and then he threw it to the ground, breathing heavy. It wasn’t real, it’s just a dream, Elide is fine, Elide is fine, he repeated it like a mantra as the blackness swallowed him whole once more and he could do nothing against it. 

When he next awoke, Lorcan didn’t know how long it had been since his power had been dormant, groggy with the lives it charged itself with. The sounds of battle were raging once more and he saw that his leathers had been cleaned and dried. Lorcan got dressed, efficient movements that had him shouldering through the tent flaps, already strapping on his blades. 

No one dared to speak to him as he mounted Anneith, his horse and rode to the field. 

Elide is fine, he said as the black mare stamped beings beneath her hooves, his hatchet swinging. 

Elide is fine, he told himself as he took off the head of a demon, black blood spraying against the side of Anneith and his leg. She isn’t in Perranth anymore, Vernon took her with him when he fled. 

Lorcan lashed out with his power more aggressively than he usually did, letting Death’s consort’s penchant for long endings bleed through his actions. He savoured every life he took and gave into the calling of his god, letting his body become a vessel for death and destruction. 

It had been a dream, nothing more than his subconscious. Hellas did not confirm nor deny his feelings, simply continued ripping away souls one by one. 

Lorcan attacked with his hatchet and power, striking true and deep with every blow. The hits that fell on him didn’t affect his prowess as he battled, leaving broken bodies and fallen weapons in his wake. 

Something shot for him, but before he could react, his mount was screaming in rage, her front hooves flashing as she rose on her hind legs and neatly spun away, the arrow passing by him to sink into the skull of a demon soldier. 

“Good girl, Annie,” he said to the mare, running his hand down the side of her neck. Anneith’s sides heaved as she greedily gulped down air, her eyes, black like a moonless night, turning and turning until she found her next target. 

Anneith whinnied and stomped her feet, charging through the fray, smashing through enemy lines. Lorcan let go of her reins, there was enough trust between the beast and its master that Anneith could go free. 

Lorcan reached over his shoulder and drew his sword, blade and hatchet in hand, foe falling like flies on either side of the deadly combination of the bloodthirsty beast and a rider guided by Death itself. 

The dark lord inside him raged against his immortal confines, Let me out of here, free me, he screamed and Lorcan allowed his body to become a carrier, a black storm swirling around him as he let his power burn and burn and burn. 

Elide is fine. Another life taken.

Elide is fine. A blood-curdling scream heard when hatchet and sword ripped through a body. 

Elide is fine. Elide is fine. Elide is fine. Elide is fine. Elide is fine.

He repeated the words as if his sanity depended on them being the truth, as if he allowed himself to look past his fears and understand what that vision had shown him, he wouldn’t be able to continue on. 

The opposing army began to disappear. 

They just collapsed onto the plane, leaving the husks of bodies. The raging god inside him stopped and the storm swirling around him froze as Anneith skittered to a stop, still wild for blood. It’s over, boy, Hellas whispered, the voice that sounded like a thousand screams shocked as if he too had never seen anything like this. No more fighting now.

Lorcan breathed out slowly, taking back his body as he sent out soft whispers of his magic, searching for what, he wasn’t sure, but he knew when that sickening oily sense didn’t meet him while he swept over the shells of men. 

It truly was over now. 

The victory he had been fighting for the past five years was now his. 

He could go home.  

Later that day, when dusk had settled over the plane, Lorcan stood beside Anneith, washing the blood and gore from her hide. He scowled as he poured water over her flank and then scrubbed gently. The horse knickered softly and flicked him with her tail, turning her big, round eyes on him. Lorcan grinned despite himself and rubbed her nose. “Guess it’s home for us, huh, girlie?” 

She huffed like she agreed and went back to slowly munching on her grain. With a big sigh, the jet-black mare lowered herself to the ground, her legs neatly tucked beneath her. Lorcan tossed the cloth into the now-empty bucket and sat down, leaning his back against her side, his legs stretched out before him. Anneith turned her head around and rested it on his thighs, staring up at him. Are you okay?

“What are you on about, Annie? I’m fine,” he told her, too tired to care about anyone hearing him talking to his horse. 

If horses could raise their eyebrows, that’s the expression Anneith would be wearing. I don’t believe you. 

Lorcan frowned at her, scratching her ears, “How would you know, you’re a horse.” 

You’re the person who’s talking to one, she shot back at Lorcan, huffing at him. 

“Ouch,” Lorcan said, his eyes drooping as his head bobbed. He yawned and settled into her side, crossing his arms over his chest. “You did good today, girlie. We’re going home, I promise.” 

His breathing grew deep and even, his heartbeat slowing until he was dead asleep. 

In his dreams, he was scrambling down the tower, his heart racing fast as he sprinted through the streets of Perranth for a little wood cabin on the edge of the forest, a place he called home. 

In his haste to hurry home, he tripped over the uneven brick roads and was sent sprawling. He scraped his cheek and hands, tearing up as he slowly got to his feet, his shadowy magic seeping from him. Normally, he would carefully climb the tree next to his cabin to sneak back to bed, but tonight he couldn’t be bothered, not as he slammed the front door open and called for his mother the minute he stepped foot inside, “Momma! Ma, I need you!” 

Odette Salvaterre was seated at their worn kitchen table, reading a book by a lamp. She sighed as she took in her son, “Darling, I believe I put you to bed an hour ago. Where have you been and why are you bleeding?” 

“I met a girl, Ma, her name is Ellie and she lives in the castle and she likes to draw.” 

Odette smiled softly as she scooped him up and set him down on the counter, shaking her head at him as she collected supplies to clean his bumps and scrapes. “You met a girl?” 

“Yes, Momma, in the castle. I thought she was a ghost, maybe, but she isn’t, she’s a human, but her blood is different, I don’t know why though.” 

She hummed and dipped a clean cloth into a bottle of clear liquid before swiping it over his palms. Lorcan hissed at the pain. “How did you meet this girl, baby?” 

“I told you, I climbed the tower, Ma, she lives in the north tower, the one the moon shines on.” 

Odette slowly pulled away from her son. “Lorcan Ohitekah Salvaterre. This better not be you telling me you climbed the castle tower and bothered that little girl, Elide.” 

“No?” 

“Lorcan.” 

“What, I was curious, Momma! I wanted to see a ghost!” 

His mother just shook her head and sighed again, pursing her lips, “That was a very dangerous thing to do, baby. You could’ve hurt yourself.” 

Lorcan frowned at her, “Momma, I don’t care.” 

“And why is that?” 

He furrowed his brow and crossed his arms, “I made a new friend and she wasn’t scared of my magic, at all. She smiled at it.”

Odette grinned and pinched his cheek, “That’s lovely, baby. Why don’t you tell me about your new friend?” 

He nodded and hopped off the counter, pacing back and forth, “She is the best drawer ever, she likes ravens like me. She is the heir of Perranth, but I don’t know what that is, what’s an heir?” 

“When Lord Vernon dies, she becomes the lady of the city.” 

“Oh,” he said, beginning to collect some of his toys and putting them in a sack. 

“Darling, what are you doing?” 

“Um,” Lorcan looked up at her, “I’m bringing her my toys? She doesn’t have any, Momma, I can give her some of mine.” 

“That’s very sweet of you, Lorcan, but you need to get to bed, it’s late.” 

“But, Mom-” 

“Lorcan Ohitekah Salvaterre.” 

He sighed and dropped the bag on the floor, shuffling over to her and hugging her, “Fine. Goodnight, Momma.” 

Odette smiled and leaned down to kiss the top of his head, “Goodnight, baby.” 

“Can I go tomorrow night?” 

“Maybe, love, but for now, you need to sleep.” 

Lorcan nodded and yawned as he walked into his bedroom, practically throwing himself on the mattress. His curtains were still pulled open and he could see the tower Elide was kept in, the golden light of the fire no longer spilling from the window.

Lorcan jolted awake, sweating as he breathed hard, still leaning against Anneith’s warm side. The moon still shone above him and the stars twinkled merrily down at him. For the first time since that one night three years ago, Lorcan dug deep into his chest, searching for that tether to Elide’s soul. He searched through the dark expanse and found… nothing. 

He didn’t know where it had gone, but there was nothing waiting for him any longer. 

Tears built in his eyes as he continued to search, and search, burrowing deep in his being. Elide wasn’t gone, his one anchor to this miserable life he led could not have left because if she was gone, that meant he was truly alone and that knowledge hung over his head, threatening to end him. 

As Lorcan searched and searched, he grew closer to giving up, to accepting that whatever they had promised to each other that night before he left were the words of children that knew nothing of the world. 

But then, right there, he reached out and grabbed something, tugging and tugging, his hands gripping whatever it was with every gram of strength he possessed. Tears were rolling down his cheeks and he felt Anneith shift as a response to his distress. 

Lorcan was frozen as he watched, helpless against the rapid fading of Elide’s life. Her chest rose just a little bit less with every heartbreaking breath. Her soul was leeching away from her being and he knew that if it escaped her grasp, it would not return to her. Instead, his love’s psyche would slip through his fingers to the next plane of life, one he would not be able to join her in. 

Lorcan felt it as she approached the veil between this life and the Afterworld. 

He held on tighter to the bridge between them, making her stay alive. Even if he faded, as long as Elide was alive, he would accept death. 

The gods could not be this cruel, they could not grant them a second chance after the war had torn them apart only to rip her away from this earth. 

He would not allow it. 

And so, with something he wasn’t aware he possessed, Lorcan stepped before her, becoming a barrier to her. 

Let me through, she said, her voice hoarse and broken, but demanding to be heard. Now, before they kill me. 

He knew not of these people she claimed to be coming for her, but the deity residing by his shoulder assured him no harm would come to her. It is not your time, Elide. You cannot join them. 

Anger flooded her fine-boned face, washing over her too-sharp features and sunken cheeks, Let me through, Lorcan. I cannot stay here, I cannot live any longer without you. Please, her fury cracked over that one word, please let me be with you. 

There were tears caught in her thick lashed and he cradled her face in his hands, thumbs tracing over her cheekbones, You will not find me here, my love.

Then where? Where will I find you?

Oh, how he had missed that spitfire temper of hers. Exactly where you are. I will come home to you, like I promised. Won’t you wait for me?

A laugh bubbled from her cracked lips, the sound full and joyous. Yes, yes, I will wait for you. How long will you have me wait this time?

Lorcan chuckled, Not long, I swear to you, mahasani, I will be with you by our lunar eclipse.

He began to fade, the world he was in returning to him. Anneith knickered and shifted, sensing his distress. The vision of Elide blurred and she fisted his shirt, her nails digging into his chest, Don’t you dare leave me again, you bastard, don’t-

I must, I am so sorry, I must leave you once more. When I am next with you, I shall never leave again, but for now, he leaned down, pressed his forehead to hers, I am with you, always. Lorcan kissed her so softly, tasting the salt of their tears mingling. 

Lorcan was transported back to the slowly emptying war-camp. He’d given the order for his troops to leave after Rowan had flown to him, telling him how Fenrys had taken the killing blow and how Terrasen was free. 

Lorcan blinked at the beginnings of a new dawn slowly bleeding through the trees and into his eyes. 

Lorcan hastily packed his tent and gear, checking the straps attaching his kit to the saddle. He walked around to face Anneith, looking her in the eye, “We’re going home, for good, Annie.” 

She rolled her eyes and snorted, as if to say I got it, can we go now? Lorcan huffed a wry laugh and nodded, rubbing her nose before he swung himself into the saddle and clicked his tongue, the black mare breaking into a brisk walk. 

It took them three long days and two nights to reach the mountain that was between them and Perranth. Night had fallen by the time they stopped at the last hill, the city sprawled beneath them.

Home. 

For the first time in five years, Lorcan Salvaterre had returned. 

He pressed his heel into Anneith’s side and she began walking again, her head drooping in exhaustion. He’d pushed both of them hard and fast, determined to arrive back in his city as quickly as he could. 

Lorcan didn’t stop the tears that pooled in his eyes as he took in the silver lake, reflecting the moon, and the castle sitting next to it. 

He saw the tower as well, let his eyes linger on the highest window for a moment. Even with the distance, he could still make out the iron bars her uncle had put there after that fateful night. 

If she asked it of him, he would tear it down. 

Though he wanted to race to the castle, to be reunited with her, something inside him told him to wait and take the old, overgrown forest path. 

Eventually, it became too narrow for him to ride Anneith, so he dismounted and led her to a clearing, an abandoned and if slightly decrepit wood cabin sitting in the tree line, a little creek flowing gently by. 

Lorcan undid Anneith’s bridle and saddle, the horse immediately falling to the mossy forest floor and rolling onto her back. 

He grinned at the sight and walked up to the door, the stairs creaking under his every step. His mother’s rocking chair sat in the exact same place it had been in when he last left it. 

The front door was stuck and he pressed his shoulder into it, using more force than necessary as it broke in two. Lorcan sighed, “Fuck.” He added it to the mental list of tasks he would need to accomplish to make this place habitable. 

As he looked around, he soon came to the realization that his childhood home had been ransacked during the conflict. 

Lorcan scowled as he exited to feed and wash Anneith, feeling that anger that was so familiar to him rise in his chest. 

It had always been something he was ashamed of, his fury. His people were not ones to hate and yet, he hated with a burning passion inside him. His people did not have a word for this mortal emotion and still, he felt it every moment of his life. 

Lorcan felt the spirits of his ancestors and elders telling him not to feel this way, but he could never help it. Not with his love locked away in a tower, not with his power being death itself, not when he was Death’s heir. 

It fueled him, honed his strength and bloodlust on the battlefield. 

Later that night, he stared at his rippling reflection in the creek, eyes harsh as they trailed over scars and fading wounds. He flicked his gaze upwards to his hair, staring at the long obsidian locks. With a sigh, he reached for his sharpest knife and carefully began to cut his hair. 

Hair was sacred to his people. They believed that it held one’s power and refused to cut it. Some chose to cut their own after a death or during a process of bereavement. 

Lorcan had known too much death and loss in his short life. He had known it more intimately than anyone else and as the strands of his hair fell into the water, he decided this would be a new life for him, one he would treat like it was something special. Tears flowed openly down his cheeks, falling to the mossy ground beneath him.

It felt strange to stand and walk without that familiar weight of hair on his head and Anneith seemed saddened, as though she knew his pain, like she would weep for him if she could. He nodded once, hugging her. “It’s okay, Annie. It’s time for something new.” 

With a final scratch of her ears, Lorcan entered into the cabin, removing his jacket and bunching it up as he settled on the mattress he had found in the attic, no doubt insect ridden, but for tonight, it would do. 

The last thing he saw as slumber claimed him was a raven, its wings cutting the moon in half as it shone down upon the sleeping city.  

+*+*+*+*+*+*

It wasn't until a couple months ago, during a party in which Lorcan had saved her from being manhandled by a few overly friendly fellas, did she start having feelings for him other than burning hatred and distrust. In fact, to her horror, over the following few weeks, Elide found herself having much less innocent thoughts about the basketball player.

Of course, these thoughts never could or would be shared with anyone. She was sure Manon would not appreciate Elide having feelings for a jock, much less the jock. And Elide couldn't let Manon down, not after all the girl had done for Elide through the years of high school. So she had sat on her feelings for months, focusing on not staring at him for too long, or letting her eyes wander over his bulging muscles.

Unfortunately, one person had noticed her attention, as Elide was reminded as Lorcan looks to the stands and sends a wink her way. She must try exceptionally hard not to blush at the gesture and draw even more attention to herself. Manon grunts in disgust next to her, rolling her eyes. Elide repeats the action and sees Lorcan smile slightly. This is all part of their agreement.

About a week ago, Salvaterre had finally confronted Elide about all the looks she had been throwing his way, sitting down directly across from her in her secluded corner of the coffee shop, leafing through a magazine but only noticing the pictures instead of reading the articles. He snatched the magazine from her hands and set in down on the table top, placing his folded hands on top of it so she couldn't get it back.

Silently, he studied her as she looked up in shock, glancing around to make sure no one from school saw them together. "What are you doing?" She hissed.

"Sitting," He replied, tensing his arm and causing Elide's eyes to drift to the muscles there. Lorcan smirked. "See something you want, princess?"

Elide scoffed, leaning back in her chair and crossing her arms over her chest, causing Salvaterre's gaze to drop for just a moment before they were back to intensely searching her face. "You wish, Salvaterre."

"And what if I do?" He wondered, forcing Elide to lock her jaw to keep it from falling open. "That wasn't the question. The question was if you saw something you want."

She couldn't control the heat that flooded her face as she looked around the coffee shop, making sure no one was overhearing. "That's none of your business and you know it." She placed her hands on the table, ready to push up and walk away.

"I disagree." Lorcan retorted, reaching out a large hand to clasp her own, successfully keeping her seated. "I think you made it my business the second you started staring at me every chance you got. So tell me, princess, do you see something you want?"

"Bite me." She shot back, ready to stand up again but Lorcan tightened his hold on her hand, not enough to hurt but a clear message that he didn't want her going anywhere. Somehow, she knew that if she really wanted to, she could still leave and he would let her, which was why it was a completely stupid decision to stop fighting and relax back in her seat.

Lorcan's smile grew, roaming over her briefly. 'Trust me, I've thought about it."

Elide was unable to look him in the eye, glancing to the ground as her blush deepened. "And if I did see something I want?"

Salvaterre shrugged. "Then there's nothing else to say. I like you, you like me. Go out with me."

Elide sputtered, absolutely shocked. "W-what?"

"Come on, Elide, we'd be great together. Just give me one date to prove it." He was actually pleading, hand still grasping hers. Elide had never seen him like this, and doubted she would ever again.

She searched his eyes for any sort of trickery, any hint that this was just an elaborate scheme to make fun of her. When she found none, her eyes narrowed. "One date. And it better be a good one." Lorcan smiled so widely, it took Elide’s breath away. He was about to get up when she finally found her voice again. "But there is one condition. No one else can know. Not even the Cadre."

He had crossed his heart, kissed her hand, and then swaggered out of the coffee shop, leaving her completely baffled. The next night, he had taken her on a picnic, away from main civilization and any chance they could be seen. She had had a wonderful time. At the end of the night, Lorcan had kissed her and now, watching him play basketball, running around the court, she can still feel the pressure of his lips on hers.

A couple seconds left in the game, a time out is called and Lorcan jogs over to the bench, taking a quick swig from his water bottle. He looks up at her on the bleachers and calls, "Hey, Lochan! Good luck kiss?"

"Bite me, Salvaterre!" She hollers back, tempted to give him the middle finger. Manon smirks beside her.

Lorcan's eyes twinkle. "Don't tempt me, princess." He laughs, blowing her a kiss - which Elide makes a show of not catching - before jogging back to his team.

Elide can feel Manon watching her out of the corner of her eye and prays her best friend hasn't caught on. As the game starts again, Manon turns to watch it finish and Elide thinks she is safe. However, just as Lorcan throws the final shot as the buzzer sounds, Manon leans over and whispers, "I know, and I'm not mad, just know I'll kill him if he hurts you."

Elide gasps and looks to her friend, seeing a slight smirk placed on Manon's face. Elide Lochan smiles as well, then stands up and tries her best not to trip as she runs onto the court with the rest of her school. Lorcan finds her swiftly, surprised as she links her arms around his neck.

He easily lifts her into his arms so they are eye level and he smiles, sweaty from the game. Elide pushes his long hair out of his face. "You're right. I definitely see something I want." She tells him, then leans in and gives him a victory kiss.

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