Dec 2, 2022
Today, a preschooler looked me straight in the eyes and said very seriously, “Three is the number of death.”
Then they walked away.
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Today, a preschooler looked me straight in the eyes and said very seriously, “Three is the number of death.”
Then they walked away.
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Student: *pushes an open book right into my face* New book! It smells so good!!!!!
Me: *thinking WAY too hard about how many times I saw this kid open said book and plant their face on the pages during class to even consider smelling* Yeah...
*Teacher ushers class out of the library while carrying a fresh cup of coffee*
Me: Speaking of things that smell good...
Teacher: Yeah, better than that book.
In the kid’s defense, I DO love new book smell. Just maybe not well appreciated new book smell.
Witchcraft in the Library
Me: *coming to check on a gaggle of students in the corner of the library* Hi everyone. Remember, we use browsing time to look for new books or read a book we’ve chosen.
Fourth grader: That’s what we’re doing! We chose this book and now we’re reading it to summon the spirits.
Student who is really into military history: Bye!! See you in the Gulf War!!!
Library Volunteer: .... *turns to me* Have you considered a job as a historical combat librarian?
Student: You know why sweatshirts are such good toys? You throw them up in the air and they land on your face.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Student: [singing the Corn Song while in line waiting for their teacher]
Me: [walking by to the front of the line] Ha. The Corn Song.
Student: Wait, you KNOW it?
Me: Of course.
[About ten seconds later]
Student: [Yelling from back of line] Wait, how old are you?????
Me: 31.
Student: [Stares]
Me: Is that old?
Student: No, that’s really YOUNG.
I asked my students to give me examples of bookmarks so bad that they would make me (the librarian) cry. Here are the highlights.
A stinky shoe
A chicken nugget
An actual chicken
Pizza
A used tissue
Just sneezing on the page
[The student’s] baby sister
The sneeze was my favorite. When I asked the student how a sneeze would even mark the page, they calmly pointed out that when you closed the book, the boogers would stick the pages together. You’d know which page you were on because it would be one of the ones you had to peel apart to read.
A chicken nugget was literally suggested in every single class I asked for bad bookmark examples. That’s 12 classes. When asked for a bookmark so bad they could make a librarian cry, twelve students individually decided that chicken nugget was the best answer. The sneeze may be my favorite, but collectively, chicken nugget x 12 is definitely the answer that came closest to making me cry (from laughter).
Shout out to the child who came to school (and thus library) dressed in an Ash Ketchum cosplay today--hat, vest, gloves, everything. It was flawless.
I complemented them on their outfit and was rewarded with the A+ information that it’s part of a family Halloween costume set. Their baby sister will be Pikachu and their mom is bringing them trick or treating as Snorlax. Excellent.