#preschooler

Or: I am so glad three-year-olds tend to behave for people who aren’t their parents (tw: newborn)

So remember that baby that my little bro and his wife just had? I visited him today! And by “visited” I mean “entertained the three-year-old for a few hours so the parents and baby could sleep, then picked up a sleep/food/diaper cycle to give Mom a break so I was multitasking it with both kids.”

Holy crap. My body wasn’t ready.

The Babies:

Princesa is the three-year-old. She loves princesses, this weird-ass show called Plim Plim, running around at full tilt, being loud, Barbies, apple slices, bacon, and Super Mario RPG. She can be found in three places at once; you’ll hear her.

Caballero is the newborn (3 weeks yesterday!). He likes to chill. He loves to cuddle. And he is absolutely infatuated with sleep. He also likes his Auntie Jen (a new honorific? I like this one), which makes him one of two babies to do so. He is stronk like bull, and held his head up for 30 whole-ass seconds today. I spent most of the day playing Barbies with Princesa. We had two stages, the house, and the hospital. Princesa started this. Barbie broke her leg, so Dr. Squishy Anna (a plush Anna doll) fixed her. Then Elsa got her leg *wrecked* because a horse kicked her. Princesa scrubbed in for the surgery. The barista, named Coffee Barbie, was also the radiology student. She “gotted really sick” and needed medicine. And so on. These games were interrupted by trips to other rooms and trying other fun things like Super Mario RPG or watching this weird show called Plim Plim. It’s nursery rhymes in Spanish. And....maybe something else?

Princesa and I called Twin Bro and @unic0rnthe0ry. That was super cute! I think Princesa was so confused to see Twin Bro speaking Spanish that she clammed up and didn’t say much. She was too bouncy to stay in the conversation for long.

After a couple hours of the Barbies/couch/bedroom shuffle, Caballero woke up. I asked his mom if she wanted me to take him. She gave a halfhearted “If you want...” while she was handing him over. I was taking him, I get it.

I did one newborn-sized sleep/eat/diaper/fuss/sleep cycle with him, so Mom could have control of her body again. The few fusses and cries I heard felt like they were tying my stomach and my muscles in knots. Soooo...that’s a trigger for me? Fuck. Caballero’s still gonna be a baby for a while.

Anyway, other than that, it went well. There was one fuss and one cry. That’s it. One little whine, one little “awaaaah!” and he was done. I’m pretty sure he’s the second baby in the history of ever to like me. (Favorite Niece was the first)

And because a newborn was involved, of course I got barfed on, and I was like, “Good thing clothes and aunties are washable, right?”

I don't want them to end up like me. I want them to be better than me.

I'm not a role model. I have a temper I can't always control. I can be too mean. I'm lazy, or exhausted, or have ADHD. Probably all of those combined.

I can't really cook very well. I'm messy, distracted, and would rather be alone. I yell too much. My capacity for patience and sympathy seem to run dry when dealing with small children, who need it more than anyone else!

Pandy Paws is known for his hug attacks - and boy are they heartwarming! Meet him on Gabby’s Dollhouse, now streaming on @netflix.