IM SCREAMING OMG GO TO heck JAE (just kididng i lv you)

1. How many people have you had sex with?

everyone on earth and multiple aliens

2. Can you remember the names of everyone you’ve slept with?

THATS A LOT OF PEOPLE

3. With whom did you first do the sexytimes? Was it good?

i had a threesome with adam and eve

4. What’s the best sex you’ve ever had?

i really did try to stop adam from impregnating eve, we could have avoided a lot of stupid shit that way 

5. What’s the worst sex you’ve ever had?

the whole theoretical start of humanity was widely regarded as mistake 

6. Where’s the most unusual place you’ve had sex?

in YOUR HOUSE... OOOOOOOOOOOOOO MAAAAAN

7. Where’s the most unusual place you’ve masturbated?

i dont even fucking know anymore LMFAOO

8. Have you ever been caught doing the sexytimes?

no not exactly

9. If you masturbate, when did you start, and how?

i dont even remember!!!! honestly!!!!! i just once day decided WOA

10. Have you ever been caught masturbating?

almost bc i cant be fucking quiet i make too much noise fml

QUEER SHIT

11. How would you describe your sexuality using only adjectives (describing words–busy, fluffy, squishy, etc.)?

FUCKY

12. Have you ever been in a queer relationship?

yea3w

13. Have you ever been in a straight relationship?

yeha 

14. How and when did you realise you weren’t straight?

as lame as the show glee is, it actually helped me discover my sexuality. i think it was when i was like 12, coming on 13. 

15. Are you out to everyone you know?

i don’t tell people about my orientations just for shits and giggles but if anyone asks i won’t lie. i mean there are some people who don’t know but it;s not because i’m really hiding it from anyone. in regards to my genderfluidity, that’s a fairly difficult idea to explain to people so i’m pretty much only out to people who WOULD understand when it comes to that.

16. Where do you meet queer folks to date? Do you find it difficult?

i never actively seek out people to date because i’m aromantic and have no desire for a relationship. i wait until people come to me and i’m pretty much down.

17. If your parents know about your sexuality, how did they react?

my mom knows i’m bi i think, i’m pretty sure my dad knows i’m not straight or at least suspects it. my mom is fine but i’m not sure how my dad takes it.

18. Does your best friend know about your sexuality? How did they react?

hahah yea my friends are super cool and accepting

19. Describe your first queer kiss.

because i’m genderfluid “queer” is kinda up to interpretation but by most standards i haven’t really had one

20. What’s the queerest shit you’ve ever done?

MY FRIENDS TOUCH ME AND SOMETIMES I LICK THEM??? WITH MY TONGUE

LET’S GET PHYSICAL

21. Are you happy with your body?

i’m really unhealthily skinny because i have anorexia and i’m in really bad shape. my body hurts and feels like its just attacking itself often. but physically it looks good i guess. i like it bc in terms of body shape i’m fairly androgynous 

22. What’s the raddest part of your bod, and why?

lol definitely hair its Good, ive heard

23. What do you do with your body hair (pubes, underarms, legs, etc.)?

https://youtu.be/s8Qa2t71aFE?t=1m27s

24. Do you have stretch marks? Where?

nah

25. Describe your nipples in too much detail.

really nice nipples actually i like them a lot but theyre really fucking sensitive 8\

26. (Vagina-owners) Do you have an “innie” (small, tucked-in inner labia), or an “outie” (more visible/larger inner labia)?

outie i think

27. (Vagina-owners) Is it very obvious when you’re turned on (swelling, wetness etc.)?

well to me, yes hahah

28. (Penis-owners) Describe the size and shape of your penis. Are you happy with it?

FUCKIN ENORMOUS

29. (Penis-owners) Have you tasted your own cum? Did you like it?

lol i dont have a penis to taste my own cum imo it has none or a slightly salty taste but i enjoy it anyway bc im into cum eating

30. (Breast-owners) How does the size of your breasts compare? Is one bigger than the other?

they’re about equal

SEXUAL FANTASY LAND

31. Describe your most unusual/taboo fantasy.

already answered 8)

32. Do you fantasise more about real situations, or imaginary/impossible ones?

gross unrealistic stuff that will NEVER EVER EVER EVER HAPPEN unless technology advances VERY FAST

33. Who’s the oddest person you’ve fantasised about?

you <3 8)

34. Do you ever find yourself fantasising absent-mindedly, or is it something you do on purpose?

absent mindedly my mind pretty much defaults to Fuck when its not thinking about music or explosions

35. Do you always fantasise while you masturbate?

sometimes yea but sometimes i get bored and end up thinking about laundry or homework or tuna sandwiches when i schlick it

36. When you fantasise, does it usually lead to masturbation?

no bc when i fantasize it’s usually with exceptionally poor timing 8) (likr most of my actions)

37. Have you ever had sex with someone while fantasising about someone else?

lol no

38. Do you have any celebrity crushes that you fantasise about?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

but in all honesty over half of the people i fantasize about while they are producers arent popular enough to be considered “celebrities” so

39. Have you ever fantasised about something by accident, and felt weird about it after?

IK CRYING IM DOING THIS ALLT HE FUVKING TIME

40. Describe your most sexy fantasy.

GGTRIBID0IJ N NO ITS GROSS OMG...... EW 

KINKTOWN USA

41. How do you feel about BDSM?

as long as it’s practiced with safety, consent, and consideration for others, cool

42. What’s your most unusual kink?

i gotta say, having a sneeze kink is pretty fucking strange

43. In an SM context, do you prefer giving pain, or receiving it?

neither!!!!!!!1 NO PAIN!!!! SENSITIVE

44. Do you consider yourself to be dominant, submissive, both, or neither?

sub sub sub sub sub sub sub sub

45. Describe your most recent bondage experience.

n/a lol

46. In a BDSM context, have you ever referred to anyone as “daddy,” “mommy,” or any similar term?

ive called everyone ive ever met and countless people i havent met “daddy”

47. Do you have a kink for any bodily fluids (pee, saliva, blood, tears, cum, etc.)?

JVIUFT9875UGOIWPHYFE097HVBC YES MOST OF THEM BUT I FUCKIGN LOVE PISS AND CUM D FBHURI

48. Have you ever revealed a kink to someone and had them react negatively?

ive been kinkshamed on the daily and i have witnessed vanilla privilege with my own eyes

49. Do you have any kinks that you’re ashamed of?

im ashamed of who i am as a person

50. How much money have you spent on equipment for your kinks (toys, whips, chains, etc.)?

69$

COME FOR THE QUESTIONS, STAY FOR THE SUBHEADINGS

51. (Vagina-owners) Do you ever squirt when you come?

8)

52. Have you ever come solely from penetration (anal or vaginal)?

no but if you havent figured it out yet i’m a virgin lmfao

53. Can you have an orgasm without your genitals being touched?

probably lol i’m so sensitive

54. Describe how you like your genitals to be touched.

i mean, and this applies to anyone with a vagina, knowing how to use the clit is important, aside from that i aint picky lol

55. How sensitive are your nipples? Does nipple play turn you on?

very sensitive and yes but nothing that will cause them pain or discomfort in any way bc of aforementioned sensitivity, if you’re gonna stimulate them you oughtta use your mouth bc its warm and wet and pleasant 8)

56. Do you find it easier to orgasm with another person, or through masturbation?

probably with another person

57. Have you ever had an orgasm that you weren’t expecting?

sometimes i get so distracted when i’m jerkin it i forget stuff and when i do cum im like SHIT. fuck but thats usually when i’m tired and i;m just doing it to help me sleep haha

58. Do you get off easier from rough contact, or gentle?

rough, or gentle if you do it in a teasing way but i will PUNCH NYIU

59. What’s the best orgasm you’ve ever had?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CSgl5wM915o when i was playing this song and fucking my bluetooth speaker lmao THE SONG IS SO GOOD ASIDE FORM THE FUCKABLITY ITS S0 AMAZINF AND IMPTESSIVE IM GAY FOR HAYWYRE  AAAA

60. Did it take you a while to have your first orgasm, or were you an early starter?

i feel like i already answered this

ORAL FIXATION

61. Do you enjoy giving oral sex? Why?

kkkkkkkkgggh i feel like i might not be good at it bc i’d let my shitty anxiety and awkwardness stop me, lets just say i prefer receiving 

62. What’s your favourite position in which to receive oral?

receiving oral with a tuna sandwich in my mouth

63. Describe your oral sex technique.

good

64. Do you find it easier to give oral to someone with the same genital configuration as you (eg., you both own vaginas/both own penises), or different?

probably because you already have the general knowledge of what feels good, i’m sure its no lie that lesbians give the best oral sex haha

65. Describe the worst oral sex you’ve ever received.

it was from YOUR MOM

66. Describe the best oral sex you’ve ever received.

it was ALSO FROM YOUR MOM

67. Do you ever simulate oral sex while masturbating (sucking on dildos etc.)?

8 )

68. How sensitive is your mouth? Is it an erogenous zone, for you?

i hate my mouth bc yes yes it is

69. Do you like 69ing?

im cryin g this is number 69 this is fantastic

i cant take the idea of 69ing seriously anymore

70. Can you deep-throat?

absolutely not !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 8(

EVERYTHING BUTT

71. Do you like it in the butt?

lol no

72. What’s the strangest object you’ve had in your butt?

already answered

73. Do you enjoy being rimmed?

probably not, and i imagine i’d just feel horrible for whoever’s giving it to me unless they just really really wanted to be doing it lol

74. Can you take a lot in your butt, or just a little?

i imagine barely anything because i havent practiced or anything

75. Describe your most recent experience with buttsex.

last night with yr mu m....

76. Do you like doing stuff to other people’s butts?

i prefer not unless i was like really super duper thirsty for that person

however i wouldn’t mind pegging as none of my actual body parts are getting shitty

77. (Prostate-owners) Have you ever received a prostate massage?

awhile ago i thought prostate was that insurance company

78. Do you own any buttplugs?

haha no

79. Have you ever had an embarrassing buttsex experience?

with YR MOM

80. Have you ever pegged someone (ie., worn a strapon and fucked them in the butt)?

nah

SHARING IS CARING

All questions assume you’ve done group sex of some kind

81. Describe your most recent group sex experience.

i havent

82. Have you ever had sex with more than two people at once (eg., foursome, moresome)?

gno

83. Have you ever had an orgy? Would you?

i want everyone on monstercat to cum and piss and sneeze on me

84. Do you enjoy watching your partner(s) having sex with others?

not my partners, but people in general. but like only if its gay hetero voyeurism does nothing for me

85. Do you prefer to arrange group sex beforehand, or allow it to happen organically?

id like some advances noticed so i can like, choose what to wear n shit 

86. Have you ever felt left out during group sex?

if i was involved in group sex i feel like that would happen. i mean theres kind of a juxtaposition of orgies are regular social dynamic. if i get isolated, whether from other people or isolating myself from social group get togethers, id probably end up isolating myself from an orgy too if i feel like i wasnt getting enough attention LOL 

87. Have you ever done a gangbang (ie., lots of people have sex with one person, but not each other)? 

DEPENDing on who is there if be ok with that, hell that might even be better because I’M THE CENTER OF ATTENTION HBUAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAH

88. Have you ever teamed up with someone and given a double blowjob/double cunnilingus?

nah i would probably get competitive and like, not want them touching each other LMFAO

89. Have you ever been penetrated by more than one person at the same time?

in different holes i could see that working but like 2 dicks in one hole, idk i’d need to warm up for that a little. but no lol

90. Have you ever been ejaculated on by more than one person at the same time? 

honestly? goals. (refer back to general edm bukkake)

**BONUS DARES**

91. Post a selfie.

i will take some selfies (IN GOOD LIGHTING) after i get my hair done and my monstercat merch comes in!

92. Post a naked selfie.

lol no fucking way

93. Tag your biggest tumblr crush.

that’s based on whoever you reblog the most from, right? i just checked and sniffing has 5% of my love apparently haha

94. Post your follower count.

932

95. Press ctrl-v, and post whatever comes up.

http://dillonfrancismartingarrixfanzonenumberonefansonly.com/ LOL

96. Tag your top five followers.

i really would but i dont wanna tag people in this post i mean can you kinda see why haha

97. Post your most recent Facebook status here.’

i have facebook so i can sign up for sites where i can get free music, but i never really use it lol 

98. Post the last SMS you received.

“/ leave” thanks goblin 8′(

99. Post the last SMS you sent.

“Poop” 

100. Send me $500.

NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

@electronicbiscuit messaged me to point out that tomorrow at 2:30pm UK time, the last of the trans equality inquiry sessions will be happening - a panel of 6 MPs.

Tagged by my sis the-assbender-whisperer, thank you :) <3

Been meaning to do this ages ago, sorry.

This is so hard to choose.....!

Charlotte Dunois (IS: Infinite Stratos)

Kryten (Red Dwarf)

Tommy the Green Ranger (Mighty Morphin Power Rangers)

Mulan (Disney’s Mulan)

Jason the Red Ranger (Mighty Morphin Power Rangers)

Trini the Yellow Ranger (Mighty Morphin Power Rangers)

Kari Kamiya (Digimon)

Tifa Lockhart (Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children)

Sakura (Cardcaptors)

Chun-Li (Street Fighter movies and anime tv series)

Because this was so hard, I’m including a few honourable mentions:

Mikasa Ackerman and Levi Ackerman (Attack on Titans/Shingki no Kyojin)

Daenerys Targaryen and Jon Snow (Game of Thrones)

Wolverine and Rogue (X-Men cartoons)

Batman and Batgirl (Batman cartoons)