#elder brown posts

Coming!... *the door unlocks and Brown opens the door to a not very pretty Harris*

Honey, I'm home! Igotabitlostinthevastdesertbut-

*Brown immediately goes in to embrace Harris, unconsciously lifting him lightly up in the air. Just to check if he's actually there*

ow ow OW You have a strong grip for a missionary...

GARY FOR THE LOVE OF GOD NEVER DO THIS AGAIN OR I'LL STRANGLE YOU, YOU DICK! IT'S BEEN HOURS! I WAS WORRIED YOU DIED OUT THERE... Which looking back now you mentioned death and dying A LOT.

WOW WAIT! I HAVE CACTI SPIKES SOMEWHERE ON MY BODY AND I CAN'T FEEL WHERE!!!

I DON'T CARE ABOUT THAT RIGHT NOW! Do you need anything? Water, bandages, to go to the HOSPITAL?

I don't need anything! I'm finnneee.

...

...

You've got to be fucking kidding, Gary we're taking care of you GO INSIDE! Sit down, drink some water, do something with yourself that isn't actively dying!

*Brown puts Harris back down onto his feet, and without letting him go anywhere out of his sight he carefully pushes him inside their motel room*

You're overheated, probably dehydrated, and in pain. I'll get the water, you sit down and this is going to be okej...

...Did you know that you're kind of hot when you're being assertive?

This is not getting you out of having a talk with me about everything you did, also I'm confiscating the shirt.

You know, because this isn't a date you'll be covering your own tab!

What? Wasn't I suppose to "relax and live in the moment" as you put it.

Oh I'm just pulling your leg, dear. Of course I'm the one paying, you're poor at the moment!

I wonder what Price is doing right now... bla bla bla bla

Brown's thought transcript: I wonder how long he'll take to shut up. I mean I don't mind that he's talking. At least he isn't expecting me to respond. Gary looks really nice in blue I think I'm starting to understand why he has so many things in blue. I don't know why he's doing this for me he doesn't seem to like me that much, why try? Wait... he looks like FUCKING Ken the hell?

Holy shit he does. Should I tell him? Would it be rude? Would he take it as a compliment?

[...] Maybe if I just slowly allude to it he won't start making fun of me-

Dear, what would you like to eat? I know I'm beautiful but you can't keep the waitress waiting here forever~

ow uh pancakes?

Seriously?

Um hamburger?... No tomatoes... please.

Waitress: Got it I'll be back in a jiffy, happy anniversary you two!

Thanks?... Wait no we're not like That-

Oh heavenly father...

HOLY CRAP! I'm gonna need to write about this on the blog it's just too good! Ha!

This is why I don't want to go in casual clothing, everyone probably thinks we're on a date!

Oh let's be real Charlie you would have loved to go on a date with a girl as pretty as me. But there's no girl like that is there? You should be happy people think you could date me!

We could have at least pinned on our name tags.

Did you also want it to stink from the week of sweat caked on that puppy? And I'm not letting a big black rectangle on my tit ruin my outfit!

Okej I get that, but I'm not playing along with this "Date" thing. I swear to heavenly father if you egg anyone on that we're a thing, I am locking you out of the motel for the night.

...

...

Sprite?

Why?

Why what?

Why do you keep buying so many Sprites for me?

Because you asked for one.

Once, days ago, Gary. Why do you keep buying them and giving them to me anytime I'm upset?

They're your favorite... and I thought it would make you less pissy.

Well for your information Sprite isn't my favorite, I like Diet Coke. But I'll take it...

...

Sooo what do your parents do for work?

My dad's a therapist and my mom's a middle school teacher.

What about your-

Oh Mrs. Brown! The one that sits next to Prices mom in church? She seems lovely!

... Yeah, how do you know that.

Not now I'm busy.

Well Busy, I'm hungry and would love to take you out to a diner! And maybe take a shower together after, if you're in the mood.

No showers together, Harris.

Is that a yes to the diner part then? And before you say something like "I'm not going out on a date with you, Gary. I'm straight bla bla bla." I'm not proposing a date, I'm just saying you need to relax for at least one afternoon so you don't start braking down on me!

You're really not taking this situation seriously, are you? We're stuck in the middle of a desert with no way of contacting anyone that could help!

Oh I'm taking this situation seriously, and in my serious opinion you need to relax a bit. We're not going to find the solution to our problem if we keep arguing and stressing about it like Crazy people.

So you want to go or not, Charles?

...

Fine... I'll clean my uniform I guess-