you remember the first time you kiss her, or more accurately, the first time she kisses you. you remember the way she pulled you into her room, soft lips pressed to yours before you could even fathom what was going on. you remember the surprised cry dying in the back of your throat, you remember melting into the kiss. you remember that sheâs your best friendâs sister, but you donât care, you remember never having wanted anything more in your life. most all, you remember how all the voices in your head died as you kissed her back. it was the first time you felt yourself swimming to the surface underneath a sea of noise, shouting at you to do more, be more, to chase perfection.
and in an instant, itâs over. she pulls away with a smile and a mischievous glint in her eyes and, for a moment, everything is calm. then, it all comes flooding back to you. sheâs your best friendâs sister, sheâs your best friendâs sister. even if the both of you wanted to, thereâs too many things in the way. you canât, you couldnât, and you shouldnât. but even as you stood there, dazed and confused, a part of you knew that there would never be anyone else.
âi just wanted to see what it was like.â
âyouâre joshâs sister, that canât happen again.â
ii.
years pass by with more hidden kisses along the way, you canât seem to escape and you donât want to either. this girl is an angel, you canât help but to stare at her like she put the sun in the sky. and somewhere along the way, youâve become friends despite your own friendship with her brother. it comes in the form of photography, a quiet art form that no one else seems to understand but her. it turns into quiet hangouts in her room (the very same one where you shared your first kiss), yours (barren and free of mess compared to hers, robotic almost), and your living rooms (where your best friend and hers can see).
you nearly choke when she brings up the potential of her first time (and yours), she wants to be with someone that she trusts and someone who actually cares about her. if you donât, some asshole will and you canât rationalize letting her lose it to someone whoâll just carry the idea of it around like some sort of trophy. you canât stand the idea of someone else having her, if youâre being honest, but you canât tell her that. you canât tell her that youâve been in love with her since the first time the two of you kissed.
so you concede. the kisses start out tentative, you donât subscribe to the idea that kisses should automatically be electric with fireworks. itâs simply not realistic. your first time is full of nervous laughter on both your parts and shaking hands (this one is mostly you). you want to worship her body the way that you were always meant to, but youâre young and dumb and you promise yourself if it ever happens again, youâll know what to do next time.Â
afterwards, you leave because you know you shouldnât have taken advantage of her like that. you leave, because sheâs your best friendâs sister and youâre just not good enough for her.
iii.
you become her crutch, the person she calls in the middle of the night when her best friend isnât picking up the phone, the person who is always there for her, no matter the circumstance. you become her best friend and youâre sure that she sees you as nothing else but that, itâs pure torture. but you love her and you want to be a part of her life for as long as sheâll have you, the least you could do is watch out for her.
which is how you find yourself parked outside of an apartment across town, waiting for her to leave someone elseâs bed. the thought of it makes you clench the steering wheel tighter than before, but if this is what makes her happy, you would never stand in the way of that. you watch her exit the building and greet you with a soft smile, you can tell sheâs grateful and tired. you can see the light flickering inside of her, like sheâs at war with her thoughts as she climbs into your passenger seat. your leg shakes with anxiousness as you really look at her: sheâs still an angel, but her halo is dim and youâd do anything you can to fix that. so you reach over and take her hand in yours, her gaze averting to yours at the touch. itâs automatic, the way the both of you lean into each other and the hungry way your lips mesh. even then, you can taste the alcohol and him on her tongue. you pull away before it becomes something the both of you will regret, but you grip her hand tighter.
âi donât want to go home.â
so you drive all night with the girl you love, blasting music with the windows down just so you could see her smile again.
iv.
itâs late afternoon and youâre in her bed with polaroids strewn around the both of you, limbs tangled together as you blink away the sleep from your eyes. you know she hasnât been feeling well lately, so you did what you always did and brought her favorite comfort foods and movies over with the offer of that and an impromptu photoshoot. she falls asleep after an hour into the movie, her face pressed against your neck and a hand on your stomach. there was no where else youâd rather be and no one else youâd rather be with, youâd stay like this forever if you could.
when her eyes finally flutter open again, the movie is long over and she gives you a lazy grin and a laugh. youâre suddenly glad for the privacy, because she looks so perfect then and there that you could kiss her. but you canât take advantage of her again, not when sheâs so vulnerable and soft in your arms. this is your best friendâs sister... and your best friend. you canât ruin the friendship, you canât risk the two most important relationships in your life because youâre in love with this angel of a girl.
but even then, you can feel her eyes searching yours as her hand creeps up to your heart. you know she can feel the erratic way it beats as your breath grows heavy, just like how her halo dims, yours does too.
and you sin. you achingly kiss the girl that you tell yourself you can never be with feverishly. this time, you taste the peanut butter cups you brought earlier, you feel the way she climbs onto your lap, you tell yourself this is the last time, and you feel yourself falling deeper and deeper.
how could something so wrong feel so right?
vi.Â
âwhat are we?â
this is a question youâve never known how to answer, something you wish sheâd never asked. sheâs your best friendâs sister and your best friend. sheâs the girl youâve been in love with since the first time the two of your kissed. sheâs the girl you see in your dreams at night. sheâs the only girl you want to spend the rest of your life with. and you just donât know how to tell her that you donât ever think youâll be good enough to be with her, you donât know how to tell her that the voices inside your head are screaming at you to run because perfect boys shouldnât want their best friendâs sisters.
youâve never been the brave or courageous sort, youâre the voice of logic and reasoning in this ragtag group of friends you call your family. you know that telling her the truth will upset the balance that everyone has worked so hard to achieve, but youâve spent your formative years and beyond holding this secret close to your chest. you feel like you might actually fucking burst if you donât say anything now.
âi donât know.â
thatâs the best that you can choke out, your mind screams at you for this. after all, perfect boys should know everything. your heart, however, screams even louder. tell her, tell her, tell her, it shouts with every beat. if you donât tell her now, you lose it all and nothing fucks you up more than the thought of watching her marry someone else because you were too much of a fool to say something when the both of you stopped trying to beat around the figurative bush.
âi donât know, but iâm yours. iâve always been yours, billie.â
and just like that, sheâs running to you. you collide into each other again, a mix of desperation, joy, and relief. you crash into each other and the voices in your head fall silent again.
sheâs your best friendâs sister, yes, but sheâs also the love of your life.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
â Live Streamingâ Interactive Chatâ Private Showsâ HD Qualityâ Free Actions
Free to watch ⢠No registration required ⢠HD streaming
cel & fletcher: [text] Did I tell you today that youâre the most adorable? Cause, yeah. / [text] I canât stop thinking about you. / [text] Come over. With condoms. / [text] Sex on a rooftop - trashy or adventurous? / [drunk text] Please donât hate me Iâm too tired and too dizzy to be hated
cc: @hephaestuss
[text] Did I tell you today that youâre the most adorable? Cause, yeah
-you diiiid tell me before leaving for class i think!!!!-but thank youuu -you know i love you so much!!!!!
[text] I canât stop thinking about you
-oh wow-me neither honestly-i just didnât think itâd be the same for u or cara-when can i see you?
[text] Come over. With condoms.
-im in class rn!!!-ahhhhh in fact iâll be over in 5-u know ive never missed class for sex, first time for everything right
[text] Sex on a rooftop - trashy or adventurous?
-ohhhhh definitely adventurous!!-oh wait, this was an invite right?? i think-anyway if not feel free to never talk abt this w me again oh my god
[drunk text] Please donât hate me Iâm too tired and too dizzy to be hated
-what are you talking about??-i could never hate you-where are you, iâll come pick you up
send đ for our muses to go to a halloween party together
Reece has always been a friendly and social person. Back when he was in college, he was always hitting up the various parties that were thrown on or around campus. So it was no surprise to anyone that when he ran into an old college friend that he would receive an invite to his Halloween bash. Though, it was a bit surprising to those at the party that Reece had brought along Astrid. His old college buddies knew that when his parents passed away that he closed himself off for a bit, not wanting to close to anyone for the fear that he would leave his life unexpectedly, and focused his attention to taking care of his sister. They never thought that he would open himself back up. To Reece, he found it easy to let Astrid into his life. Very early on, he knew that she was just as damaged as he was. The only difference between the two of them was that Astrid showed that she wasnât okay while Reece tended to hide it and bottle it up inside.
Before arriving to the party, Reece was very adamant that he and Astrid were to wear a coupleâs costume, he wanted them to dress up as Jack and Sally from The Nightmare Before Christmas while Astrid, on the other hand, didnât want to do it at first but with enough convincing from Reeceâs end she agreed. So here they were, at the party, with Astrid complaining how stupid she looked while Reece was smiling like an idiot, though it hard to tell considering that he was wearing a headpiece. As the party went on, Reece found himself throughly enjoying himself, though his friends noticed that he refused to leave Astrid alone by herself, he even stood outside the bathroom door at one pointâto which he received countless amounts of teasing from.
Reece didnât know what it was about tonight but he felt that tonight was the perfect night to finally confess his feelings towards Astrid. Itâs been months since the two had began hanging out and during that time frame, he slowly started to fall for her. Despite Kira reassuring him that Astrid felt the same, he was still didnât believe it. Once Reece found the perfect opportunity, he dragged the two of them out onto the balcony that faced their cityâs skyline and took off the headpiece he was wearing. At first, there was a comforting silence between them until Reece found the confidence to begin speaking. âSunshine, you are truly one of the greatest people I have ever encountered in my life. Iâm so grateful that you were willing to spend time with me these last few months, even though I know at times I can be a bit much. But somethingâs happen Astrid. During those times weâve hung out I slowly started to gain feelings for you. I really really like you. And I get if you donât feel the same but I just had to let you know what I feel. Though it would be rad if you like me too, but if not thatâs cool too.â
for every â@â sent (anon or not) i will mention and post some positivity about a fellow tumblr user
@i-ngââ Iâve known you for a really long time (I mean, weâre talking at least four years here, right?) and although there were times when we didnât talk as much, weâve managed to stay in touch nevertheless. Despite your personal struggles and hardships, youâve always had a sympathetic ear for my problems and cheered me on during some really difficult times when nobody else would. The summer you came to visit was undoubtedly one of the best three weeks Iâve had in a long time. I love you, hun, and you deserve only good things to happen to you.
@lumiercâ Youâre probably one of the most kind-hearted people I have met on this website and I am so grateful to call you my friend. Youâre so much fun to talk to and roleplay with and although I am the most trashcan partner of trashcan partners, you havenât complained once and youâre still roleplaying with me. You, my friend, deserve a medal, along with all the others who arenât tired of my lazy ass yet. And while weâre on the subject of roleplaying, youâre also one of the most talented writers I know. Seriously. So jealous! Sidenote for everyone else reading this: sheâs Satan and will make you emo a lot if you ship with her. But thatâs one of the things I love about her. Lol. Stay exactly as you are, darlinâ!
@eizawritesâ is such a badass and I admire her for that so much. Sheâs the kind of person you definitely want on your team when going up against the mean girl of your school, haha. And have you seen her selfies? Sheâs got some mad makeup skills and sheâs so pretty! Needless to say, since this is a roleplay account, I will also have to mention that sheâs a fantastic writer too and so much fun to ship with (and by that I mean find ways to emotionally torture our muses, yay!). Ruby, you might actually be the person I have been writing with longest; that is some serious shit. And even when I had to take a break for almost an entire year, you remained understanding and didnât let our ships die. Not everyone is going to be like that and I appreciate it a lot.
@wanderlustrperâ I mean, come on, Danielle, you know I had to mention my favorite rant-buddy and one and only kuddlemuffin. Whenever there is something that unnerves me, in this community or in real life, I come to you and we get angry at peopleâs stupidity and ignorance together. Itâs the best! Although we havenât written together yet, I appreciate your friendship and continued support so freaking much and I donât know how to thank you for always listening to my petty problems.
alessa & haldey bc these all seemed fitting af: [text] So at what point of the night are we going to decide everyone at this party sucks and we should just fuck each other? / [text] Iâll eat brunch alone. No ones good enough when youâre not around / [text] I feel like I cold have been bitchier and missed an opportunity. / [text] I think after tonight Iâm 85% lesbian
[text] So at what point of the night are we going to decide everyone at this party sucks and we should just fuck each other?Â
[10:19pm] hmm good question![10:19pm] iâd say right about now because, honestly, i am Sick of that slimy dude charles coming up to me every 10 minutes asking if i want to âgo somewhere quiet to chatâ[10:20pm] iâd rather go somewhere quiet with you and make you scream. meet me out the front in like 5 minutes! đ
[text] Iâll eat brunch alone. No ones good enough when youâre not aroundÂ
[11:09am] i feel like laughing isnât the appropriate response to this but ur too much[11:09am] youâre so cute, iâll make it up to you later, promise!
[text] I feel like I cold have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.Â
[4:56pm] what happened?? tell me!! i donât know what happened but you 100% couldâve been bitchier i agree!![4:56pm] did you slap a bitch?
[text] I think after tonight Iâm 85% lesbian
[11:34pm] well, thatâs a good thing for me then isnât it? i knew i was talented with my tongue but i didnât know i was /that/ talented đ [11:35pm] happy to be of service!
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
â Live Streamingâ Interactive Chatâ Private Showsâ HD Qualityâ Free Actions
Free to watch ⢠No registration required ⢠HD streaming
where was their first date ?: unofficiallyâthe kitchen, officiallyâum maybe the moma?what my muse would do to cheer yourâs up: cook her dessert, bring her a glass of wine, & give her a back rubwho wakes the other up with kisses ( and where ) ?: james is the early bird and i wakes her up with cheek or forehead kisses. or between the thighs if heâs feeling... saucywho would pour water on the other to wake them up ?: omg she better not!!! neither would do this imohow my muse would wake yours up: god a lot of morning questions! heâd make her breakfast i guesswho would start a food fight while baking or cooking ?: freja probably lolwho would suggest putting marijuana in the brownies ?: omggggg idk!!! maybe herwho said i love you first and how ( or when ) did they say it ?: uh idk she probably said it during sexwho would get into a physical altercation over the other ?: james would punch a bitch out (probably jamie oliver...) over herwho insists on purchasing a pet together ( and what kind of pet ) ?: freja except she doesnât ask him first!who is louder ( in and out of bed ) ?: james is louder out and freja inwho takes more risks ( in and out of bed ) ?: um idk about our but in they are probably equally risky?who would bring up the word âdaddyâ first ?: freja would have to i thinkwhat is their shared, favourite kink ?: semi-public sex, aka pressing her up against the glass to fuck herdescribe their typical kiss: kissyhow my muse shows their love for yours: giftstheir favourite ways to give affection: physically/sexually lolwho is more dominate ?: jameswho sings in the shower ?: freja?who washes the otherâs hair in the shower ?: sheâd wash his, he tangles herwho initiates shower sex despite being in a rush ?: i was gonna say freja but damn heâs horny so i bet heâd try to stick it inwho teases the other under the table at dinner with the family ?: frEJA!!!!who has the weirder taste in music ?: james...who would initiate dancing in the rain ?: freja, bc sheâs a cutieeewho would be the one to suggest marriage ?: jameswhat would they name their children ?: riga-tony or luca, both equally gr9 nameswho would their children take after more ?: um... well their kid would take after her a lot bc heâd be a lil dancer. idk about grace & maggie
⍠for your muse to catch mine singing in the shower
Kat was alone in the hotel suite; Max was out at some event for the promotion of her album release and though Kat could have accompanied her, she wasnât really in the mood to deal with the throng of reporters. They had just arrived at the hotel that day and she had been absolutely exhausted, choosing a nap over going out. She had jumped in the shower after she had woken up, belting out lyrics to Maxâs bandsâ newest single as she washed her hair. She didnât hear the door opening or the footsteps over the sound of the drumming water and her own voice. She saw her girlfriendâs blurry outline just as she pushed the door to the shower enclosure open, a huge grin on her lips. Katâs heart still skipped a beat at that smile and the heat in her eyes. She stopped mid lyric, her cheeks flushing slightly. She was all too aware of how she couldnât hold a tune if her life depended on it. Max had always made a point of teasing her over how she managed to ruin every song; it was something Kat was entirely aware of. Max opened her mouth to say something and Kat shook her head, quickly snapping her hand over her lips. âDonât.â Her shoulders shook with laughter and Kat shook her head though it was hard not to smile, âGod, Iâm never going to live this down.â Max nodded, agreeing with that before running her eyes over her naked body, the water still cascading down over her form. It was all she needed to pull at her hand, her hand already tugging at the dress she was wearing to get it off. âOr I bet I can make you forget all about it...âÂ
