how did I fail so badly? how long do I have to fix it?

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how did I fail so badly? how long do I have to fix it?

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Finally the happiness they deserve
I KNWO WHAT YOU ARRREEE
Finally shizaya good ending š¤²

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Joining the Kuramerukagari hype, i hope i'm not late lol (i should really rewatch the movie. Iseya and Eiwazima kept distracting me from focusing on the movie)
I started this doodle roughly after i watched the movie, which is a few days ago. You guys can probably tell how much of a slow drawer i am haha
Individual pics of the yotsubato! pose doodle + some extra doodles
tried coloring and gave up tehee o(*°ā½Ā°*)o
Drrr-kuramerukagari post ketsu swap au
Basically iseya/eiwajima switching places with izaya/shizuo
Iāve never really posted abt things before and this is the first time Iām attempting to write abt something in such detail, so please bear with meš„²
I want to emphasize that this is all post ketsu but prob before sh and sunset novels bc Iām literally ignoring some characters.
Iseya is shocked to find himself in a wheelchair, looks for the one person he knows and trusts, eiwajima, only to find someone slightly different, in appearance and also behavior. When they meet he looks at him like heās grown a second head, the wheelchair shocks him too but he also wasnāt expecting izaya to just appear in front of him with no purpose. Iseya just looks at him, comments on the hair that while he does look good blonde he prefers his natural brown.
Shizuo thinks heās playing games so he shouts and takes a step closer and theyāre both shocked to see izayas body tremble. Iseya gets glimpses of the battle in his head, his mind repeating the events over and over again and he understands. Theyāre not together, theyāre hardly even friends. Theyāre enemies. How he canāt even begin to understand, how he could come to hate this man? Heās so much like eiwajima, just with sharper edges.
He takes a look around people are staring and whispering, some recognize them both and think theyāre gonna get into a fight. He doesnāt like hearing them talk, despite his love for people he doesnāt really want to be seen right now, not in front of him like this when everythingās so complicated but also not. He doesnāt really know what to do now. He wanted to confine in the one person he knew he could talk to, but that person doesnāt exist the way he does in his memories.
Shizuo doesnāt understand whatās going through the fleas head but he can see him thinking. He almost looks sad, which is weird because izaya would never show emotion, especially not to him.
Iseya understands their rivalry more or less because despite everything itās still them, so he tells him that he remembers him differently but he doesnt want to hurt him. He wants to learn more about him. He doesnāt know how long heāll stay here or even how he came here, but he knew from the start that something was different. And so if heās gonna have to stay here itāll be with this alternate version of eiwajima, whatever their past may have been.
Shizuo is dumbfounded but agrees bc this guy, whoever he is, seems much easier to get along w than izaya, or maybe itās just a side of izaya he never got the chance to see. (Or maybe in the very back of his mind heās actually still playing games w him)
After talking (he realizes that this being a lie is too much of a stretch even for izaya) he feels sad to find out that they exists somewhere and theyāre together, theyāre friends they talk and laugh and are happy. Iseya, he calls himself, tells him about eiwajima and how he is, what his life is like and he is so jealous of his alternate self because he really is living the life heās wanted since he found out he had this cursed strength.
He feels this loss, that he could have had that if he tried hard enough. The voice in his head telling him that eiwajima makes iseya feel good while he put izaya in a wheelchair. Eiwajima has wooed iseya while he scared izaya away. He really wonders if he has anything in common with the guy, but he must because iseya is staring at him like heās holding the sun.
Iseya kisses him at some point and shizuo finds he doesnāt know what heāll do when this guy leaves because heās really enjoying their time together.
Alternatively if itās eiwajima switching places, heās rather confused at the hair and doesnāt like hearing people talk abt him while he walks, it seems they have nothing nice to say and they all avoid him like heād crush them with his glance.
Of course he seeks out iseya only find a wheelchair bound man who feels like iseya but has a very unsettling vibe. He is obviously wounded if the wheelchair wasnāt enough to go by but apart from that the man freezes at his appearance and is trembling.
He immediately realizes that they donāt share the same relationship and past he knows to be true. Whatās more they not only donāt get along but things have escalated between them so far that heās managed to traumatize the man before him.
He doesnāt know what the best course of action here is, he doesnāt want to speak for alternate him because he doesnāt quite understand the extent of their situation, but āiseyaā looks at him with such hatred and demands answers that he quite frankly doesnāt have.
He decides to come clean bc he couldnāt pretend to hate him even if he tried. He explains who he is and what he actually wanted by coming here and alternate iseya is so confused. He starts ridiculing him and it does kinda piss him off but when he accidentally punches a hole through the wall in frustration and āiseyaā freezes again all his anger goes away.
He tells him that he cares about him. That despite what theyāve been through here he misses iseya and wants to see him. He tells him that theyāre alike in some ways and he finds them endearing and wouldnāt trade what he has w iseya for anything. That theyāre happy.
Izaya looks so bitter and hates that what this fake Shizu-chan is saying actually makes him want it, he realizes that he might be jealous and gets pisses bc as if heād be jealous. He tells fake shizu that fake him is prob just lying to him and actually hates him but heās hiding it to use him for his own advantage, bc thatās what kind of person he is really and if theyāre anything alike then thatās whatās gonna happen.
Eiwajima just gives him a sad smile (which pisses izaya off even more). He knows what the words mean, that the world heās describing, his home, is making the other man emotional. He strongly and confidently says that iseya loves him and he knows it. Itās not possible to fake their kind of love, and he doesnāt mind being used by that man, they love eachother and thatās all that really matters.
Izaya has never hated anyone more than this man before. Heās so much worse than shizu-chan bc he doesnāt get angry, he doesnāt react to anything he just sits there, spouts all this nonsense and looks at him like heās actually in love w him and he really doesnāt know how to get out of this situation, he doesnāt want to be here but heās so incredibly curious abt their life. He knows this guy is telling the truth but he refuses to believe it bc it seems so dreamlike and unreal, he canāt fathom being happy as described, much less with this man.
Eiwajima wants to stay with him, despite the fact that he didnāt actually do anything to bring this man such pain he still sees the emotions swimming around in his eyes and he wants to help him. Despite the fact that itās not his iseya, itās still this worlds version of him and thatās enough for him to try and fix whatever they have going on, or at least help in some way. He tries to get close, as close as heās allowed and talks about whatever he remembers from his home, all things almost always leading to iseya of course. He tries various topics hoping the other will come in at some point and theyāll have a normal conversation, as normal as it can get anyways.
Izaya eventually does, they talk like theyāre friends. Izaya canāt comprehend whatās happening but heās trying not to think about, fake Shizu-chan is interesting, he likes hearing about this world of theirs and his life there, he realizes that heās having a casual conversation and itās easy too heās easy to talk to and listen to. Heās enjoying this more than he originally thought he would. He wonders if his Shizu-chan is this nice to be around when heās not throwing things at him, which he knows is probably true, he just has never been on the receiving end of shizuoās kindness. However this āeiwajimaā heās very charming, and he canāt seem to look away from those eyes.
Idk where this is going but yeah I just want them to find out abt their alternate lives separately and cry abt how miserable they are. Maybe they would try to find each other and start over (in a sense) after this happens so they can actually make a happy ending for themselves (or a happy new beginning)
them actually swapping places makes it hurt more since theyāre inserted into this foreign world. They would both be shocked to find their supposed enemy sleeping next to them and the ppl around them liking them, I donāt think theyād ruin anything, well maybe izaya would try depending on what would happen but I donāt think heād would want to make these ppl hate alternate him even just to spite him bc they prob wouldnāt, I mean they know what heās like and they like him soā¦
shizu would be so shocked to see ppl liking him random ppl not afraid of him but wanting him around, heād be afraid to talk to them so as not to hurt them. And then as far as their relationship goes theyād be happy but also sad that they canāt have it.
Overall it would mostly be sad (bc as it seems I love angst), heartbreaking really, to see what they could have had but werenāt as lucky as the other two. Thereās a lot of reasons as to why the two of them never really got the chance to get along (which Iām not gonna get into now bc thatās a whole other story and lots of ppl have already made theories on it) but I think that seeing versions of themselves happy and well is like a slap in the face bc had their circumstances been different they could have had that, had they tried to do things differently they could have had something similar.
This has been in my head for a while (post ketsu usually is on repeat) and I really had to get it out bc itās too much, and it turned into a whole ass essayš„² this is the first time Iām attempting this tho so pls donāt look into it too much, itās a mess of thoughts that I canāt quite put together. I apologize if thereās any mistakes or holes in it, itās def ooc so yeahā¦
Thank u to anyone who decided to read it and made it this far! If theres anything anyone wants to add pls go right ahead Iām starving for these boys. Thanks again for reading! š„°