guys. i've just had an epiphany.
my whole life, whenever i had feelings for someone, i always wondered whether what i was feeling was romantic attraction or not. people would say "oh it's when you want to date or marry someone". and because i don't want to do either of those things with anyone, i always wondered if i was maybe aromantic or something. but i still feel strong affection for my crushes, and i still want to be close to them.
and yet i don't want to date them. i don't feel any connection to that concept, it sounds very wrong somehow. marriage? going on dates? holding hands? ew. no. very uncomfortable, very wrong.
eventually, i gave up on questioning or attempting to label my romantic orientation. i came to the conclusion that i would never know whether i was experiencing romantic attraction or not. that whatever i was feeling, there was no way for me to label or understand it.
but the issue wasn't the romance part. it was that i'm not. a human.
aromanticism? nope. just therianthropy.
i don't want to be someone's boyfriend or husband. i want to be someone's mate.
i realized that i only feel comfortable in romantic situations, if i'm an animal. it was all just species dysphoria. doesn't matter whether the other party is a human, or some other kind of sentient creature (likely another pokemon since i am a pokemon therian). i like the idea of. like. snuggling up with another creature. grooming each other's fur. making a den together. establishing our territory. animal things. animal love. or maybe it could be a human too. probably my trainer or something. either way. i do like romance. a lot, in fact. just as long as i can be myself.
my lack of attachment to the concepts of dating and marriage, it was all because those are Human Things. fuck. everything makes sense now. yall have no idea how revolutionary this is for me. the amount of time i've spent pondering this. the confusion, the discomfort i couldn't quite name the source of...
and yeah, turns out i'm just allo. but i couldn't be happier to have finally figured it all out.
