#eh9

the shirt dilemma - eh

A/N: As I usually say: ERLING BRAINROT. I can’t stop writing for this man, I’m ABSOLUTELY in love with him. Thank you SO MUCH!!! for 800 followers. Feedback is always appreciated! Love you always xx

ೃ⁀➷ erling’s taglist 

 ೃ⁀➷ erling’s masterlist

ೃ⁀➷ masterlist

 : ̗̀➛ requested phrases: 

2. “i'll never wear the jersey of someone who isn't my boyfriend.”

8. “why are you staring at me like that?”

17. “you have a really pretty face, have you ever heard that?”

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“I can’t believe people actually waste their time plotting about this stuff…” You murmured more to yourself than anyone else in the room, still scrolling through the infinite amount of photos that you found on Twitter. “Kinda creepy…” 

“What’s up?” Jack murmured back, kicking your leg with his foot. You raised an eyebrow in his direction. “C’mon, you just said something that implies tea. Now you have to spill it.” 

“I don’t have to do shit, Grealish.” You laughed, kicking him back. “But okay, here.” You sat on the couch. “I was on Twitter, and I found some tweets with my name on it, which is kinda weird since I’m not a public figure so… I don’t know, I was digging on my own shit until…” You turned your phone so he could see it. 

His eyebrows raised until they almost touched the base of his hair, giving you a full view of the funniest expression you’d ever seen on him since ever. 

“That’s an interesting take.” 

“¿De qué hablan?” (What are you guys talking about?”) Julián asked, entering the room with hands full of snacks. 

“Nada.” (Nothing) You really hated Julián’s impecable hearing. He was always around the corner when you were gossiping with Jack. “Más bien dame comida, que me tuviste esperando como mil años. Me muero de hambre.” (Give me some food, you’ve got me waiting for like a thousand years. I’m starving) 

“Luego no me pidas que te cuente algo, porque te vas a quedar con las ganas.” (Later, don’t ask me for any gossip, cause I won’t share any) He replied, throwing a bag of chips at you. 

“I actually love when you two speak Spanish in front of me and I understand absolutely nothing.” Jack said after you grabbed the bag, not paying attention to the dirty look Julián gave you before sitting next to him. “Makes me feel like I’m back in Spain for some vacation.” 

“I just love when she speaks Spanish.” Erling’s voice startled you. You looked up at him, who was just entering the room. You tore your eyes apart from his figure as quickly as you could, wishing that the heart eyes weren’t that noticeable for any of them. God, he was so handsome. 

“You love everything that she does.” Julián said, giggling a bit when you shot him a nasty look. That little fucker. 

“True, you’re the biggest fanboy I’ve ever seen in my life.” Jack teased, nudging Erling’s arm when he sat next to you. 

“What can I say? I’m a man with great taste.” Erling shot back, leaving you all shaky on the inside. You had to prevent your mouth from falling wide open. You could never get used to that type of compliments coming from him.

It was times like these when you wondered if Erling had any feelings for you. It would be awesome if he did. But you knew it couldn’t be possible; he was playing and teasing around. You were just friends.

“If you’re going to flirt with her, I’m leaving.” Jack said, openly enjoying how uncomfortable you were getting from all the attention. “But also? We could manage to see if we can get this little brat to come to the next game, eh?” 

“No, no! Don’t start with that. I already said no a million times before.” You were tired of it. You knew, from past experience, that you would be recognized, and those stupid gossip sites would eat you up. 

“C’mon, don’t be such a… coward.” Julián replied, always up to teasing you as well. “It’s fun, you should totally go. Emilia’s gonna be there.” 

“But…” 

“No, no, not ‘but’. You’re coming, end of discussion.” Erling cut you off, smiling widely when you looked at him. “Please?” 

Aw, man. Fuck big blonde guys with green eyes. 

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So there you were, two days later. Full of regrets and suffering, seeing how your friends (or more like enemies at this point) were smiling like little kids while you stood in the middle of the Etihad Stadium shop. Your arms were crossed, not wanting to give in two times in a row when it came to these guys’ wishes, but it was getting more and more difficult as the minutes passed and Erling’s eyes kept flashing you little looks that were keeping you on the edge. 

“Why?” You finally spoke up, giving in to the silence that had overcome the room. “I’ve already accepted to come against my will. Why do I have to wear a jersey as well?” 

“Because! Everyone that really loves the team wears a shirt!” Jack said, giving you a knowing look that screamed duh. “You’re our friend, it would be so rude if you just go there wearing…” He pointed to your baby blue shirt with a grin. “That.” 

“What’s the matter with it? It’s City’s color, isn’t it?” 

“C’mon, you’re not actually doing the most out here wearing a blue shirt, darling.” Erling’s voice had an effect on you. Dammit. “Be a good girl and wear a jersey.”

No, no, no. Don’t fall for it just because he called you a… Oh, god. God, help your daughter. 

“Fine!” As usual, you just gave in once Erling stepped in. “Pick a stupid shirt so I can get out of here.” 

You were hoping that you were being dramatic over nothing and that they’d probably pick a blank shirt with no actual handle on the back, but as Erling approached his own fucking section, you knew you were absolutely fucked. 

“No! Not your stupid ego getting the best of you, I’m not wearing a Haaland shirt!” You wanted to. But it was the worst idea in the world. “I’ll never wear the jersey of someone who isn’t my boyfriend. That’s just a horrible idea.” You didn’t know why you just said that, but it was out there before you could backtrack on your words. 

“Why not?” Jack asked, getting closer to you with that cheeky grin that you hated. “What’s wrong with wearing a friend’s jersey just for today? It isn’t good enough?” 

Oh, you knew what he wanted to say with that little tone on the word “friend”. 

“Because, my dear Jack. People love to speculate about things without actual proof. So, if they see me wearing Erling’s shirt while being here, they’ll think I’m his girlfriend, and…” 

“So what?” Erling said, already handing you a shirt. “Let people assume whatever they want to assume.” 

“Perhaps, would it be that bad if people think that you are his girlfriend?” It was the first time in twenty minutes that Julián had said a word, but when he did, he cornered you. “Just saying…”

“Yeah, would it?” Erling’s tone sounded almost evil as he slightly pressed the shirt towards you, leaving you no other option but to take it. “Just put it on.” 

“I hate you…” You whispered, still grabbing the shirt with a bit more force than necessary. 

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You felt like everyone’s eyes were on you for the entirety of the game, which was ridiculous since you were the most boring person and no one— and when you said no one, it was really no one— was giving you a second look as you sat and watched the game like everyone else did. 

The paranoia you were feeling was ridiculous. Never in a million years have you felt more targeted for wearing a fucking shirt that said Haaland on the back. You could only pray that a photo of you didn’t make it to Twitter, where a bunch of weird people were already making assumptions about the actual nature of your relationship with Erling. That’s why you were being so negative about wearing anything City or Erling related. You knew how the rumors started.

Like it would ever happen in reality. 

“Relájate, boluda. Parece que estás acá contra tu voluntad.” (Girl, relax. You look like you’re here against your will) Emilia shouted over the fans’ voices, seeming entertained by your current state. Just like her boyfriend, apparently. 

“¿Te parece?” (You think?) You couldn’t help the sarcastic tone in your voice. “Todo gracias al pendejo de tu novio.” (All thanks to your stupid boyfriend) 

“Ay, ya. No es para tanto…” (Aw, c’mon. It’s not that big of a deal…) She paused, giggling. “Estás así porque te gusta Erling, ¿no?” (You’re acting like this because you like Erling, aren’t you?) 

“¡¿Qué?!” (What?!) You shouted, feeling your face go deep red as the referee blew the final whistle, letting the entire stadium know that the game was over. 

“It’s so obvious, babe. You totally like that man.” She took your hand, not letting you overcome the fact that someone finally acknowledged your feelings for him. “Let’s go.” 

“Where?” Was all you managed to say, looking around to check if someone was paying attention to you. Again. 

“The dressing room.” 

Oh-oh. 

Your eyes darted to the pitch, where most of the players were still walking around while exchanging greetings and jerseys. You spotted Erling right away; it was very difficult not to. He towered over almost every single person that walked past him, which could be funny if it weren’t for the fact that Emilie knew about your feelings for him. Suddenly, it felt so real. It felt like everyone knew. 

“Move or I’ll have to drag you there myself.” Emilia’s tone gave the impression of being absolutely serious about the dragging part, so you started walking out of pure instinct. 

You made your way across the sea of people that were leaving or lingering around the benches. You saw how it all appeared to move a bit slower as you followed her, who still had a hold on your wrist, like she was almost preventing you from escaping. You didn’t want to see Erling right now; the way you were so worked up about Emilia’s words was stupid, but you knew yourself, and it was very possible that you were about to blow everything because of the nerves. 

“Breathe. You’re crushing my hand.” 

“Is it too obvious?” You whispered once you made it to the tunnels. 

“That you like him?” She turned to face you, smiling a bit before fixing your hair. “Not to him, I believe.” Her eyes looked behind you, a bigger smile appeared on her face. “But maybe it’s time to let you know that he likes you. Gotta go, Juli’s coming. Good luck.” She kissed your cheek briefly before walking away, leaving you nervous and shaky. 

It seemed like being nervous and shaky was the new thing for you. 

“What happened to the “no wearing a shirt that’s not my boyfriend's” rule?” You could feel Erling’s hands pinching the fabric of your new shirt before you turned around to face him. His voice was filled with that unique tone he only used when he won, or got his way around something he wanted. Today, both things happened. “Looks great on you, by the way.” 

“You made me wear it, loser.” The only way to dissimulate the silent screaming you wanted to do right now was to answer with irony.

“And it’s the best decision I’ve made so far.” He stood in front of you in all his glory, clearly enjoying how pissed you were. You couldn’t help your eyes from going to his bare chest for a whole minute, biting your lip when your eyes met his. His smirk was so big, you wanted to punch him. “About to make the second one.”

So, so handsome. And so, so cocky.

“What? Why are you staring at me like that?” Was all you managed to say after a few seconds of pure silence, despite all the teammates roaming through the tunnel, clapping and screaming from their recent win. 

“You have a really pretty face; have you ever heard that?” He leaned in, and your heart almost escaped through your throat. You couldn’t tear your eyes apart from his. 

What if Emilia was right? Was this the right moment? He was totally flirting with you… Wasn’t he?

“I…” 

“What about this? You wait here, looking as lovely as you do right now until I shower… And then I can take you to dinner so we can celebrate the win?” He whispered the proposition like it was a promise. At this point, you couldn’t even speak. “How does that sound?” 

“Yeah, sure…” You whispered back, holding your bag so close to your chest that you could feel the handles burying themselves in your skin. 

“Perfect.” Then he kissed your cheek, and you really stopped breathing for a few milliseconds. And as you were starting to have a little panic attack, he left.

Have you just… agreed to a date with Erling Haaland? Well, fuck.

fluff alphabet | erling haaland

A/N: THIS ONE IS FOR CITEEEEEEEEEH

ೃ⁀➷ erling's taglist

ೃ⁀➷ erling's masterlist

ೃ⁀➷ masterlist

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a = affection + activities (how affectionate is he? how does he show affection?/ how does he spend his free time with you?)

he’s SO affectionate. 

like, no… literally. he won’t let you go from his embrace once he made it home, constantly rubbing his face on your neck and telling you how much he missed you while you stand there, smiling like an idiot because you have a golden retriever for a boyfriend. 

he also gives you tons of butterfly kisses, bending over and staying there for so long, enjoying the smell of your hair or how much you squeeze his waist while hugging each other.

then you’ll watch a trashy show like love island while cuddling on the sofa, eating snacks and trying to replicate the accents, laughing hard when one of you actually gets it right. 

b = beauty (what does he admire about you? what does he think is beautiful about you? 

physically? he adores your eyes. how they sparkle every time you talk about something you love, or how they seem to hold the stars for the very first seconds of looking up to him. he sees them as a real window to your mind. 

he also loves when your nose does that little wrinkle thing every time you’re excited about something, or just enjoying a meal. 

you’re just the most endearing person he has ever met. 

but personality wise? you’re so compatible.

you’re nice, kind and patient. you’re always trying your best and he knows you care so much about others, even if you don’t show it as much. 

to him you’re the purest soul and he wants to protect you, because you’re his sunshine.

c = cuddles + comfort (does he like to cuddle? how would he cuddle you?/how would he help you when you’re feeling down?)

cuddles? HE LOVES THEM. even though it doesn’t seem like it. 

he uses cuddles as a coping mechanism at this point. 

when he’s mad, frustrated or just sad, he comes to you, asking for cuddles with the most serious expression ever. it’s hilarious. 

did we mentioned the fact that he crushes you under his weight? but not in a bad way, it’s so comfortable. you feel safe and so so so warm. 

you’re a pillow for a few hours, and you’re so okay with it. 

it’s the same the other way around. even when you’re having the slightest inconvenience, you go to your boyfriend for some cuddles. he lets you sleep on top of him, arms and legs wrapped around his torso. it’s very funny to see. 

when that doesn’t work (which it’s a rare thing) he gives you space, always making sure that you have snacks or a quiet room to be at when you’re feeling overwhelmed.

d = domestic + dreams (does he want to settle down? how is he around the house?/how does he picture their future together?)

does he want to settle down? he can’t wait to actually have you with him 24/7. he loves your presence, even when you’re in separate rooms. 

he’s a very good companion, and when you weren’t living together but just staying at each other’s places, he was such an organized person… most of the time. 

it doesn’t matter when he’s a mess, though. 

anyways, he’s always thinking about how the future it’s going to be like. 

how many kids? where are we going to live? are we going to have a farm together? will our kids play football like him? where is the wedding going to be? what type of house are you guys going to buy? SO MANY QUESTIONS. 

he has a little list on his mind, and he’s going to use it someday. he knows he’s going to marry you. 

e = equal (is he the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?)

none of the above. both of you are equal in the relationship.

he’s a kind soul, and most of the time he doesn’t bother to make decisions for you. 

the only thing he’s in charge of is picking up the restaurants and making you cum. 

both of them are always taken care of. 

f = fiancé (how does he feel about commitment? how quick would he want to get married?)

as i said before, he can’t wait to marry you. 

he wants to settle down but doesn’t want to pressure it too soon, since it’s a big step. 

but yeah, he’s just being a bit patient, since he knows you’re going to be his wife. 

already looking for rings and spying your pinterest page for clues on the perfect ring. 

he doesn’t say it, but he also has a pinterest account where he saves cute wedding dresses he thinks would look amazing on you. 

he just loves you too much, okay?

g = gentle + gratitude (how gentle is he, both physically and emotionally?/ how grateful is he; is he aware of everything you do for him?)

he’s the most gentle human being you’d ever met. 

despite his height and how people picture him, he’s very delicate while touching you, or doing things in general. he’s so comforting, you’re mesmerized by his patience, his soft touches and his words when you’re feeling down. 

he’s your rock. every time you need support of reaffirmation, he’s there for you. he always knows what to say. 

in return, he knows how much you do for him. 

not only while emotionally supporting him through the stress and pressure he feels sometimes, but also at home, when he’s tired from a match and you make him an special meal. 

he’s so grateful for you in general. you’re an angel to him. 

h = honesty (does he have secrets he hides from you? or does he share everything?)

it wasn’t considered a secret perse, but erling hates to worry you. 

so sometimes he hid his injuries from you, and when you found out, you got so mad. he never did it again. 

it was scary.

he’s overall very open, he doesn’t believe in secrets between you two. you always have talks about everything.

you trust each other blindly. 

i = i love you + inspiration (how fast did he said the L-word?/ did you changed him somehow, or the other way around? do you guys try new things together or help each other solve personal problems?)

you both said it rather fast. 

six months into the relationship and you both knew you loved each other. 

he said it first, since he couldn’t keep acting like he wasn’t aware of the word almost slipping out of his mouth every day. 

you said it back instantly. 

you both changed each other for the better. you taught him to be more open, less serious. but just because you knew he’s the most interesting person ever and the rest of the world deserved to know him. 

he helped you to overcome your shyness and to make new friends, to get out of your comfort zone. 

you’re always trying new things (food, vacation destinies, shows, hobbies) it’s so so so fun to start new projects with him. 

the latest one is a bookclub (it’s just the two of you). 

and yes, every time you’re feeling some type of way or having doubts, you talk to each other. you always find a way to get through it. 

j = jealousy (how jealous does he get, and does he get jealous easily? how does he deal with it? what does he do when he’s jealous?)

he’s not a jealous guy in general; he knows you love him, and he loves you. 

but sometimes he just can’t stand when other people can’t dissimulate the stares when you’re with him at some event. 

like yes. he gets it. you look stunning and you’re the most beautiful woman in every room, but damn. 

he just takes a deep breath and tries to think about you and not all the people that wants to be on his place. 

but he also keeps a hand on your lower back, staring back with an arched eyebrow to the guys that look at you for too long. his serious face it’s very scary. 

you love to see him a bit jealous. 

he also kisses you so much. 

he’s so hot when he’s leaning over you to kiss you and whisper sweet nothings in the middle of a crowded room, just to show you’re his and he’s yours. 

k = kisses (how are his kisses like? where does he like to kiss you? how was your first kiss like?)

they can be the sweetest kisses ever or the most intense, dizzying, wonderful kisses you’d ever received in your life. 

he doesn’t hold back. 

face grabbing, chest to chest, hands everywhere type of kisses. 

he loves to kiss your neck, it always smells amazing and you get all tickly.  

you’re both pretty much addicted to kiss each other. 

the first kiss was so so so wonderful. you were so nervous but he’s such a great kisser. it was like floating. you’d never stopped feeling like floating whenever he kisses you. 

did i said he’s a great kisser? yeah- he is. 

l = love language (what’s his love language? is it compatible with yours?)

do we have any doubs? 

it’s obviously quality time and physical touch, duh. 

you’re both pretty the same. 

although he also showers you with gifts from abroad if he has a game far from home. 

expensive isn’t a word when it comes to gifts for you. 

princess treatment all the way. 

you were very apprehensive while receiving them, but he insisted so much that now you don’t know how to say no. 

he’s so full of himself every time you’re wearing one of his gifs. 

especially the little “e” necklace made of his birth stone. 

m = morning (how are mornings spent with him? what’s your morning routing like?)

it’s so cozy.

you’re very sleepy, just wandering around the house while doing the basics: making coffee and breakfast, brushing your teeth, showering and just looking at each other from above your cups. 

lots of kisses on the head or long hugs in the kitchen. 

he likes to stop by while you’re making something on the stove and just lean on top of you, resting his chin on the top of your head. 

it’s hard to say goodbye after the two hours you have with each other during the mornings. 

you cling to him, hugging him tight until he just has to go and you miss him a lot even though it’s been five minutes since he stepped out of the apartment. 

n = nicknames (what does he call you?)

so many nicknames in norwegian. 

you’d been learning and instantly melt when he calls you vennen (sweetheart) or elskling (my love) 

!!!!!! your brain goes brrrrr

you call him lover most of the time, and he smiles so widely 

or when you call him kongen, he just walks around calling himself “the king” for a week straight

martin loves to mess up with both of you, since he’s one of the few people that actually speaks norwegian around you

o = on cloud nine (what is he like when he’s in love? is it obvious for others? how does he express his feelings?)

he’s obvious. 

like painfully obvious, even though it’s just like for the people that knows him. 

martin was the one that noticed first. 

erling’s eyes will linger on you for way too long, smiling at your words, even if they were just a tiny hello or a short story. 

all his teammates couldn’t stop giggling and whispering every time you’d come visit as a friend first, knowing he had the biggest crush on you. 

once he made it and got to be alone with you, he didn’t hesitate, he asked you out. 

it was such an amazing time. he was the most caring person you’d ever met, and you couldn’t believe it was your reality

he hasn’t changed one bit since the first time he took you out. 

he always remembers. he’s always looking forward to your next date or little getaway.

you’d never felt more loved than now. 

when he isn’t making you feel loved, giving you hugs, kisses or quality time, he’s showering you with little gifts that remind him of you. 

p = pda (is he upfront about your relationship? does he brag about you with others? or he rather shy to kiss, etc. when others are watching?)

he’s not shy about it. 

like yeah, of course he’s a private person and you’re as well, but he isn’t hiding the fact that he’s dating you, aka the most amazing woman in the world (his words). 

you’re often feauted on his instagram, and that’s how people get updates about your relationship. 

he totally brags with his friends and teammates though. 

like so much. 

he doesn’t shut up about you, never

it’s even worse when you’re with him at events. he’s all over you, kissing your neck and dragging his hands on your back, whispering things and chatting with you so closely that people look away, like they’re spying on you two. 

he’s never shy when it comes to showing love to you.

q = quizzes (how many little things does he remember about you?)

as i said, he remembers so much. 

every little detail he has ever learned about you, he remembers. 

from your favorite juice flavor to your most embarrassing childhood story. 

he knows them all. 

most of his gifts are related to something you like, said, or did together. it melts your heart. 

goes both ways. you’re always giving him little gifts that remind him of you, or even better, his time as a youngster. you love to tease him about the flow kings.

r = romance ( how romantic is he? what would he do to make you happy? is he cliche or rather creative? what is your favourite moment in your relationship?)

he’s romantic-romantic. it’s just that people can’t imagine it. 

he’s always taking you out on romantic dinners, bringing you flowers or organizing little trips to your hometown or norway to spend some alone time where no one can find you. 

you’re the happiest when you’re on those trips; it brings you such calm that you feel like a new person once you’re back at manchester. 

he’s a very good mixture of cliché and creative. and you love it! he always gives it his own little twist to the most cliché things. like personalizing the color of the flowers he gives you by checking which heart emoji you used to most that day. 

UGH!

pure love. 

your most treasured memory from the relationship is the moment you first attended a city game as his girlfriend. you got to experience it with him from the moment he arrived to the first goal of the night. you lost your voice that night, but it was worth it. never in your life you’ll forget how excited he was once you reunited, how much he kissed you and let you hold his hattrick football to take a silly picture. at that moment you knew it was forever.

s = security (how protective is he?)

oh, erling is protective.

like no fooling around. he’s going to protect you no matter what. 

when you’re out in public, he makes sure that no one, absolutely no one, gets on your personal space. 

and when it comes to your mental health, he does the most to protect you from mean comments on the internet. he doesn’t need you to pay attention to stupid people that don’t have a life. 

you love him for it, and you make sure he knows how important he is, despite how horrible the hate towards him gets. 

t = try (how much effort would he put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

 first of all, we know he’s a very neat guy that’ll help around the house as much as he can during the week. 

and as i mentioned, he puts so much of himself on your dates, anniversaries, and gifts that you don’t know how he’s this original. 

like where did he get a bunch of your childhood’s snacks just because you mentioned you missed their flavor?????

yeah, you won’t be disappointed. 

the anniversaries are so much fun. 

it’s like a little holiday- 

everyone on twitter went crazy that time he made fans hold up signs that read “happy anniversary to my one and only” when he had to play that exact date. 

you were there… and cried. 

u = understanding (how well does he know you? is he empathetic?)

there’s never a chance where he isn’t the best boyfriend ever.

he’s always making his best effort to understand your feelings and how to bring a smile to your lips again

hates seeing you cry

he knows you well enough to make you happy in less than an hour

you’re so grateful for him

late movie nights with him to cure any bad day ❤️‍🩹

v = value (how important is the relationship to him? what is it worth in comparison to other things in his life?)

this relationship is everything to him

of course he loves football. and of course he loves you.

you are on the top of the list

there’s only you, football and his family 

nothing else matters as much

he does everything on his power to make things work, even when you’re going through long distance 

and you do as well

the power couple fr

w = whole (would he feel incomplete without you?)

totally

have you seen him while being away?

all pouty and calling you at any given opportunity

sleeping and hugging a pillow to pretend it is you

he carries a little bottle with your perfume to spray on himself so he can smell you during training sessions or important games 

he also wears your headbands 

he’s so adorable

x - xtra (a random fluff headcanon)

you both love the color purple 

so he would always buy matching clothes or items on that exact color

in fact, that’s how people found out you two were dating

he bought this very very very expensive and unique pair of shoes with a matching tracking suit in purple 

two days later you were wearing the same outfit 

yeah, it was obvious 

now it’s a fun anecdote 

y = yearning (how would he cope when he’s missing you?)

as i said 

he would always use your hair stuff of your perfume 

but he also makes you wear various t-shirts a day before his trips so he can use them to sleep or walk around, knowing you were on them just a few hours before 

so so so many texts with random stuff that reminded him of you

lots of audios and calls 

“baby i can’t wait to be home, i miss my little pillows so much”

“erling, those are my boobs”

“yeah…? so???”

z = zeal (is he willing to go to great lengths for the relationship? if so, what kind of?)

totally

he won’t hesitate to make a decision based on how it would benefit the relationship

he totally bought a house for the summer on your home country just because you mentioned you missed home 

learned your language so you could feel more close to home 

he even learned how to cook typical food

you cried the day he surprised you with it

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ೃ⁀➷ erling's masterlist 

ೃ⁀➷ erling's taglist

ೃ⁀➷ masterlist

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A couple of days passed by, and you found yourself missing Alfie’s presence in the early hours of the shift. His bad jokes or anecdotes were entertaining to listen to while you gave the shop the last touches for the rest of the day; now that you didnʼt have them, you were really bored. 

Well, at least you had Thomas to keep you company, but even he got sick and couldn’t make it to the shop these past few days. 

So here you are, all alone, with only the books to keep you company. 

You were restocking the bookshelves, thinking hard and deep about which books you’d “borrow” to take home. It was a silly game that you had with yourself since it was obvious that you were keeping them to yourself. None of the previously “borrowed” books made it back to the shop. Just as you were about to take the few ones you liked, the doorbell rang.

You turned with a smile on your lips, ready to welcome the new customer, when you saw the most tall, blonde, and intimidating man you’d ever seen in your life. He looked back at you with a small grin, unsure of what to do next while you kept staring at him, surprised by his physique. 

Stop, you’re being rude. 

“Welcome! May I help you?” You said, recovering from his presence. You walked behind the counter, dropping the books on a nearby stool while feeling nervous all of the sudden. 

The only thing that came to mind as you tilted your head to look at him was that he was really tall.

“Do you have cream cheese croissants, by any chance?” His voice, although deep, was very soothing. His accent reminded you of a Nordic country. It reminded you of Alfie. 

“I do! Freshly baked, may I add.” You pointed to the section where the croissants were. “I just got them out the oven like… twenty minutes ago.” 

“That’s bloody amazing. I’ll take two, please.” You smiled when he kind of cursed, but his whole attitude was so relaxed that you didn’t mind. It seemed like he didn’t even realize what he said. “Oh, and a cappuccino if you don’t mind.”

“Not at all. Please! Sit while I make that coffee for you.” You couldn’t help but shoot him a tiny glance as you intentionally picked the best croissants for him. He was also really cute. “Anything else?” 

“Uhm, cookies?” He said it like a question, making you giggle when he noticed it as well. “I mean, yeah, cookies. Do you have butter cookies?” 

“Good choice! They’re the most popular around here. Those are actually still in the oven… If you don’t mind waiting a bit for them.”

“I’ll wait as long as you want. Don’t worry about that.” 

And he’s nice as well? Damn, what a catch. 

“Great! Let me make that cappuccino.” Why were you feeling nervous? He was just another customer. 

A really cute, tall, handsome, blonde, customer that won’t stop looking at you, but that’s all. 

“Are you new in town?” He asked all of the sudden, surprising you a bit as you put the cup down in front of him. 

“I am, yeah.” You smiled when your eyes met, his lips already in a half-smile. “It’s been kinda difficult, but I really like Manchester. It helps that I have my little shop to keep me occupied.” 

“It’s not easy to come from a foreign country, but hey, I actually love Manchester too. It’s a bit boring when I don’t have anything to do in my free time, but it is what it is.” He took the cup, giving it a sip before resuming his chat. “Do you have friends?”

“No, no I don’t.” That was something you were really shy about. But again, you weren’t a very out-going person. “It’s very difficult to make friends, especially since I’m always in the shop.” 

He was about to answer when the alarm for the cookies rang inside the kitchen, startling you both. 

“I should get that. The cookies are on their way.” 

“Sure, take your time.” 

And you did. You took various trays full of different cookies, but even after you put them on new ones to take out and restock, you stood there, red-faced and timid about the absolute cutie that was sitting there, drinking his coffee and making small talk with you. Was he flirting or just being nice? It might be the latter, but you couldn’t help to smile at the possibility of him being a bit interested in you. 

You should stop reading so many romance books. It was rotting your brain. 

“Focus…” You whispered, taking the tray of butter cookies first before going back outside. “Here they are!” You carefully put it on the counter, showing him the contents. “How many did you want?” 

“Can I have ten?” His eyes didn’t leave your face, even when you moved around to find a bag. When you were just finishing the packaging, he stood up. “Can I also have your number with that order?” 

“My… number?” Ohmygodohmygodohmygod????

“It’s okay if you don’t want to…” He blushed a bit, and then you knew you’d regret not giving this man your number. 

“I’ll give it to you if you promise to show me around Manchester.” 

“Sounds like a deal.” 

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“Oh, my dear! And he asked for your number right away? He must be really enchanted by you. But again, who wouldn’t be? You’re a very gorgeous young lady.” Thomas was laughing as loudly as he could, enjoying a little bit too much the story of how Erling (and yes, you knew his name) asked for your number a couple of days ago. 

You were very embarrassed about the fact that the only person who was trustworthy enough to know your business was your regular customer, Thomas, who was also a sixty year old man, but you didn’t actually mind. He always gave incredible advice. 

“Yeah— We’ve been texting back and forth for a few days. I’m nervous every time I open the shop. I feel like he’s going to appear out of nowhere.” You took a deep breath, washing another cup in the sink while Thomas sat on the counter. “Do you think it’s dumb?” 

“Feeling anxious? Of course not, angel. And why on earth hasn’t he asked you out yet? Or even visited you?” You refused to laugh at his annoyed expression. 

“He’s been working a lot…” 

“Oh, yeah? And what does that lad do anyway?” 

“I dunno… He mentioned something sport related but I’m not really sure about what his role is.” You signed. “What am I gonna do, Tom? What if he’s a douche?” 

“Well, if he…” His advice was cut off by the doorbell. You both looked up, the conversation dying instantly at the sight of Erling standing there, like a few days ago, seeming unsure but with the same sweet smile that you liked from the first moment you saw him. “Fucking hell…” Thomas whispered, taking you away from the daydreaming. 

“Erling!” You fixed your hair out of habit. You felt your hands shaking just a bit as he approached both of you. 

“Hey… Sorry I didn’t stop by earlier in the week; I was a bit busy.” His voice was as soothing as you remembered. Lovely. 

You opened your mouth to reply, but Thomas’ laugh made it impossible. 

“The hell you were! Fucking shit, it’s a pleasure to see you, lad.” He tapped Erling’s shoulder with a heavy hand, looking from him to you like he couldn’t believe his own eyes. “Bloody hell, darling. When were you going to mention that you know Erling fucking Haaland?” 

“W-what?” You couldn’t hide your confusion, even if you tried to. Did Thomas knew Erling? Was his last name Haaland? Why did that ring a bell?

“Uh, nice to meet you too, mate. How’s everything going?” Even though Erling’s eyes showed surprise at Thomas’ obvious recognition, he played it cool. He accepted the old man’s hand and shook it with the strength and confidence of someone who is used to it. 

“This is unbelievable, really.” Thomas looked starstruck. Who was this guy?

“Well, I didn’t know you two knew each other?” It wasn’t actually a statement. You were asking. 

“Not at all. But I sure know this lad’s skills. Fucking beast on the pitch.” Thomas shook his head one more time before getting up from the stool. “I might be back in twenty. Are you going to still be around by then?”

“Of course, sir.” Erling’s tone was as calm as it gets. When Thomas got out of the shop, he turned to face you again, his eyes seeming to say a silent apology for whatever that was. “Happens from time to time.”

“What? Getting recognized by strangers?” You jokingly said, unsure of what to expect next. “Are you… famous or something like that?”

Erling shrugged, taking a seat on Thomas’ previous stool.

“You could say that. It’s what comes with my job.”

“Which is…?” You couldn’t handle the suspense.

“Football player.” He smiled, apparently used to dropping that bomb on people. “But I’m glad you didn’t know that.”

“Woah.” You smiled back, slightly shocked by the fact that the cute guy who asked for your number was an actual celebrity whose existence you had no idea of. “Kinda explains why you’re so fit.” As soon as the words left your mouth, you wanted to die. “I mean, you know, so muscular? Not that I really got my attention on that particular aspect, but... I should shut up.”

He looked at you like you were the most amusing person to ever walk on Earth, and then he laughed so hard you started to giggle from how contagious it was.

“No worries. I don’t mind you noticing those things about me.” He leaned a bit on the counter. “I was actually coming to see if you wanted to have dinner tonight?”

Oh. Oh, wow. It’s really happening. 

“Of course I do.” The smile you gave him almost broke your face in half. “What time?”

“Eight?” 

“Sounds like a deal.”

“Sounds like a date.” Oh. 

“A date it is.” 

And just as you were about to say something dumb for how much stuff was going on inside your head, the doorbell rang again, and Thomas was back.

“Got time to sign an old man’s jersey?”

You both laughed at the sight of him out of breath, holding two football shirts with a tight grip. 

“I sure do.” Erling stretched his hand to him, and Thomas gave him the t-shirts with such enthusiasm that your heart melted a bit. 

He was a fan.

“Thank you for doing this.” You whispered when he leaned again on the counter, taking the sharpie you gave him and carefully signing the shirts. 

“It’s not a problem.” 

Wasn’t he sweet? 

You had to restrain yourself from sighing like a schoolgirl with her first crush as he gave the shirts back to Thomas, chatting a little while before leaving, not before giving you a kiss on the cheek that made you a bit weak on the knees.

“So?” Oh, Thomas. You big old gossip. 

“I have a date tonight.”

You wouldn't have thought it was possible for a man like Thomas to scream that high, but he did, and you didn’t stop laughing for at least twenty minutes.

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The man in question: